In Which There Is No Tennis
by Link and Luigi
Summary: There will be no tennis today, as everyone soon finds out. COMPLETE!
1. In Which There Is No Tennis

In Which There Is No Tennis

One fine day, a few select coaches were sitting around a table trying to establish the lineup for the next unofficial inter-school tennis tournament since they frequently have those after all.

The ones present were Ryuuzaki from Seigaku, Tachibana from Fudomine, Sakaki from Hyoutei, Ojii from Rokaku and Banji from Yamabuki.

"You know what?" said Sakaki suddenly while they were in the heat of deciding what was going on. "I think our kids have been playing a lot of tennis recently."

Everyone stared at him like he was stupid. After all, they were all extremely old. Well, except for Tachibana. But he doesn't really count.

"Of course they have." Said Ryuuzaki. "It's tennis season."

"Yes, but they play even when it's NOT tennis season." Sakaki pointed out. "They play ALL THE TIME. And here we are making plans for them to play even MORE as if they don't play enough already."

Everyone pondered this for a while.

"You know, Sakaki has a point." Said Banji.

"But we're their tennis coaches." Said Ojii. "It's our job to make sure they play more tennis and get better."

"Speaking as a player, I love playing tennis all the time." Tachibana stated.

The elder people paused and now stared at HIM like he was stupid. They felt like saying, "Why are you here?" but they suppressed it at the last second.

"Well, then again…" Ojii started. "They DO need to have fun sometimes. They're just kids and they spend all their time playing tennis!"

"But we like tennis." Said Tachibana, looking slightly dejected because he could tell that he was obviously not being taken seriously. AT ALL.

"Did you have an alternate idea to tennis?" Ryuuzaki questioned Sakaki.

"Hm…something different…" Sakaki said slowly.

"Badminton?" Tachibana suggested. "Ping-pong?"

"Those two things are too similar to tennis." Said Banji. "And if you say anything else counter to our evil scheme to force you all to have lives then there will be consequences."

Tachibana frowned childishly but he didn't want to be secluded from the coach group.

"Let's make it something completely OPPOSITE to tennis!" said Sakaki.

"Hm…basketball?" Banji tried.

"No." said Ryuuzaki. "Not a sport. Because if it was a sport then our teams might try to figure out a way to improve their tennis skills by working on their other sports skills."

"That's a good point." Said Ojii. "We want them to gain absolutely nothing tennis-wise from what we force them to do."

"Do we even have to do this?" whined Tachibana.

"That's it, Tachibana." Said Sakaki. "Now you're not included in our coaches group anymore. Now get out right now!"

"Fine!" said Tachibana, standing up. "I didn't want my team to be involved in this anyway!"

"What?" said Sakaki. "No! They're still involved and so are you."

"I refuse!" said Tachibana.

"If you and at least half of your team don't show up then we won't include your entire team in the next tennis tournament!" said Ryuuzaki.

"You can't do that!" said Tachibana.

"Watch us." Said Banji.

"We'll drop you a line when we decide to do this and make sure you and four of your teammates show up or so help us!" threatened Sakaki.

Tachibana looked like he was on the verge of a temper tantrum so he ran away before anyone could see his sensitive tears. He knew he couldn't let his team down.

"There." Said Ojii, folding his hands pleasantly. "Now that that's out of the way, let's get started with our planning."

Morning One  
Later that week… 

Specifically, it was a Monday…

During a week so there was no school…

"Ahh, Tachibana!" said Sakaki. "We're so glad you came and brought some of your team! Even though it was the bare minimum!"

"You said half my team, and I wasn't going to torture more people than was necessary!" Tachibana said nobly.

"Oh Tachibana!" cheered the members of Fudomine that were present as they all burst into tears just by being in the mere presence of their coach and captain and hero.

"How come only half of their team had to participate and our entire Regular team had to participate?" questioned Tezuka of his coach.

"Because our team is the best!" said Ryuuzaki in a voice only her team could hear.

"Yeah… I only brought half of my team too." Banji said, gesturing towards Sengoku, Akutsu and the doubles pair that is affectionately dubbed as the Jimmies.

"I brought my whole team!" announced Sakaki since he had heard Ryuuzaki's previous comment and had a bit of a delayed reaction. "And your team is not the best!"

"I brought MOST of my team…" said Ojii. "But Shudou went on vacation or something."

"DURING TENNIS SEASON?" demanded EVERYONE as they practically fainted. A few people DID faint.

"Yes." Said Ojii.

"And we're also thrilled that these two extra teams could join us, even though the teams are not complete." Said Banji, turning to what was present from the St. Rudolph team and the Rikkai Dai team.

"If there's an opportunity to play more tennis, then there's no way I'd turn it down." said Mizuki ambitiously as he looked to the members of his team that he brought, which included Yuuta, Atsushi and Yanagisawa. The rest didn't come with them because they had stomachaches or something like that.

"Of course, you know that we're not going to be playing tennis, right?" said Yukimura. Everyone from his team was standing by ready to assist him, except for Yagyuu and Niou. Those two weren't there because they were having an all night movie marathon and couldn't be interrupted.

"What do you mean?" said Mizuki. "What else would we be doing?"

"We're glad you asked!" said Sakaki because he is young and full of vigor. Benji whipped out a chart and put it on an easel and Sakaki extended a pointer.

"We are conducting a five day long activity that will begin today!" said Ryuuzaki. "And for this, we have mixed up all the teams and split you up into groups of five!"

"Groups of five?" repeated Eiji. "What sort of ridiculous tennis match will that turn out to be?" A hearty "HERE HERE!" from the rest of the young men followed his comment.

The coaches stared at all the young tennis players, and then individually went around to each of them and gave them a good generous slap.

"WE'RE NOT PLAYING TENNIS." Said Sakaki in a very clear voice.

Everyone still looked confused.

"We're…not?" Shishido said, scratching his head.

"What kind of tennis doesn't involve tennis?" Choutarou followed up with what he thought was a legitimate and intelligent question. It was on everyone else's minds too, though.

"If we hear the word 'tennis' one more time then there will be blood." Threatened Ryuuzaki.

"So…there will be no tennis today?" Fuji said.

"Right." Said Ryuuzaki. "No tennis."

"We are SO confused." Said everyone as a collective.

"Look, everyone just split up into your groups and then we'll explain what exactly it is that we're doing." Ojii said.

Everyone decided to do it because they were so very confused and just wanted to know what they would possibly be doing that wasn't tennis.

"What about us?" one of the Jimmies asked, noticing that the two of them were in a group with only each other.

"Oh." Said Banji. "We didn't have a multiple of five so you two are in a group by yourselves."

"Couldn't we join other teams?" said the one in the Jimmies that hadn't said anything before.

"No." said Banji. "It's very important that each team has only five people."

"So it's okay that we only have two people?" the Jimmies said at the same time.

"YES!" yelled the coaches.

"Team One," Sakaki cleared his throat as the Jimmies cowered in the corner and he walked over to the five on Team One with a bowl in his hand. "Fuji from Seigaku, Taka from Seigaku, Yanagisawa from St. Rudolph, Mizuki from St. Rudolph and Kirihara from Rikkai Dai. I want you all to pick one of these papers out of this bowl."

They all looked at each other and took the papers.

"Mine has a D on it." Fuji said, looking WAY too content.

"M." Taka reported.

"Mine has an S." Yanagisawa said.

"And mine's a B." Mizuki said.

"And what's the P mean?" Kirihara practically demanded.

The teachers only chuckled warmly and went around to each group handing out the papers randomly. Every person from each team received one of the papers with either a D, M, S, B or P on it.

"What do these papers mean?" said Marui.

"Never mind that!" said Ojii. "Everyone who has a D on their paper, please come forth and take one of these envelopes. Inside the envelope is an address and you must take your group to that address where you will find your instructions on what you will be doing for the next five days."

All the D's did as they were told, and within the hour, all teams had made it to the address specified in their envelopes. They were each at a different house scattered about the town that does not need to be named at this present moment. All of the houses were identical and small, but at least they were furnished.

Each house came with a kitchen with a table with four chairs around it. There was a living room that had a coach and an armchair. The houses were fenced in with a small front yard and a small backyard that had an even smaller doghouse, with a fair sized shed. There was only one bathroom. And, of course, the bedrooms. There were two bedrooms, one of which had a large queen sized bed, and the other that had a bunk bed set that seemed child sized.

At this point, everyone had two big concerns: the first being that there were definitely not enough beds. The second was, of course, there were no tennis courts in sight. And they wondered how they would play tennis without tennis courts.


	2. In Which Families Are Forged

Day One  
Team One  
"Okay…our coaches said there would be some instructions on what we're supposed to do." Said Taka as he started looking around the kitchen for anything that resembled instructions.

"Could this be it?" Mizuki said, picking an envelope off the kitchen table. "It's addressed to the 'D'."

"That's me." Said Fuji, as he took the envelope and opened it up.

"Why does the D get all the stuff?" said Kirihara, crossing his arms and sounding close to whining.

"It's a letter." Fuji unfolded the letter. "Would you like me to read it to you all or do you want to look over my shoulder?"

Everyone would rather keep their distance from Fuji, so they all decided to sit around the table and listen. But there were only four chairs and they soon discovered that that wasn't enough. So they went into the living room instead, and quickly discovered that it really only comfortably held three people.

After pondering what was up with these wak living conditions, they went into the room with the queen-sized bed and they all sat on that.

"I bet our team will win any tennis competition that gets thrown at us." Said Yanagisawa. "We had such great teamwork skills making sure everyone got to sit comfortably."

"And we're obviously the team with the best tennis skills." Said Mizuki even though he probably didn't even know that for sure.

"Yes." Said Fuji. "Obviously."

"So what does that paper say?" Taka asked.

Fuji looked down at the paper. "Shall I read it out loud?"

"Yes." Said everyone, trying not to appear annoyed in Fuji's presence.

"All right." Fuji cleared his throat. "_We, your fair coaches, have decided that you, our fair teams, spend too much time playing tennis and practicing tennis. We also realized that this may have ended up alienating you from your families and disconnecting you from life outside of tennis. So, while we could have given you a week off and made you spend time with your families, we quickly realized that most of you have someone in your family that plays tennis so we came up with an alternate plan."_

"I'm excited to hear about this fun new tennis training thing they've come up with." Taka said, and he did look excited. VERY excited.

Fuji smiled pleasantly at Taka's interjection. It pleased him. It also pleased him to be on Taka's team. The only thing that could have been better is if Yuuta was on his team as well.

Then he went back to reading. "_So we have split you into groups of five and we will recreate a family atmosphere. The people you see around you will be your family for the next five days."_

Fuji stopped reading and looked at the other four.

The other four looked at Fuji.

They all looked at each other.

Fuji looked back at the paper and continued reading. "_At this time, you are probably wondering what the letters on the papers are. The D stands for Dad, the M stands for Mom, the S stands for Sister, the B stands for Brother and the P stands for Pet. Until further notice, you shall fall into your assignment."_

Once again, the five were left silenced for a few moments.

"_Be sure to check your mailbox often, as we will be sending you mail quiet frequently. Enjoy."_

A tumbleweed blew by. Seriously, it actually did.

"Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait…" said Mizuki, standing up. "This is nuts. When are we supposed to play tennis?"

"Apparently we are supposed to pretend to be a family of which I am the father." Fuji stood up too. "Taka, you got the M, didn't you?"

"Um…yes…" Taka said nervously as he pulled the M out of his pocket.

"How nice." Fuji smiled.

"Brother…" Mizuki said slowly.

"Sister…?" Yanagisawa added. (Just so you know, henceforth he will be referred to as Yana just because his name is so annoying to write.)

"Wait… P for PET?" Kirihara threw his paper on the ground. "I refuse to be the pet!" Then he sorted out his priorities. "I refuse to do this stupid thing all together! I'm not going to put up with this!"

"Oh, what's this?" said Fuji as he turned the paper over. "There's something written on the back."

Everyone ran over to Fuji to look over his shoulder. Yes, they cast away their fear and replaced it with dire anticipation.

"_If you fail to cooperate then you will be kicked off your respective school tennis team." _They all read together.

"Wow, we sound like a family already." Fuji commented, looking far too happy.

Team Two  
"Five whole days of pretending I am a little girl?" Gakuto threw a temper tantrum in the middle of the living room his team was occupying.

"Well, imagine being your mother." Said Choutarou.

"All right, all right, let's try to figure out a way to get out of this." Said Momo, trying to calm everyone down.

"We can't." said Marui. "If we don't do this then we get kicked off our school's tennis team and that's the worst thing that could ever happen. Ever. We'll just have to go along with it."

"You're just saying that because you get to be the Brother so you don't have to do anything different." Gakuto pointed out.

"So?" said Marui.

"I hate to say it, but Marui's probably right." Momo said, already giving up hope. "At least I'm the Dad."

Choutarou only gave a sigh.

"Hey, where's Eiji?" said Momo suddenly, standing up.

It was exactly then that they heard a distinct "YAHOO!" come from the backyard. They all went onto the back porch just in time to see Eiji bound out of the doghouse.

"Being the Pet is going to be fun!" he cheered gaily. (As in HAPPILY.)

"He needs a beating…" Momo said, looking a little mad.

Eiji strolled over to the other four. "So what do you think, guys?" he asked. "Isn't it great that I got to be the Pet?"

"It fits you." Gakuto commented.

"The Sister fits you." Eiji said.

"WHAT?" demanded Gakuto.

"That was a COMPLIMENT!" said Eiji.

"How was that a compliment?" yelled Gakuto.

"With that attitude, I'm surprised you get any compliments at all." Said Eiji as if he was making any sense whatsoever.

"Guys, I think it's kind of funny that Momo and I are the second years and we get to be your parents." Said Choutarou literally out of nowhere.

"Don't get too into this role, Ootori." Said Gakuto.

"I wonder what's in the refrigerator…" Choutarou wondered to himself as he wandered back inside the house. "Maybe I could make something…"

"Oh!" said Eiji. "I wonder if I have a little bowl with my name on it!"

Eiji ran inside to investigate.

"What's with those two?" demanded Gakuto as if Momo and Marui would know.

"I don't know, but I feel really left out being the only person from my tennis team in this group." Sighed Marui as he went to the door. "I'm going to go see what Ootori is making. I'm hungry anyway."

Gakuto and Momo looked at each other.

"Now what?" Gakuto asked.

"We could check the mail." Momo shrugged.

"Why?" Gakuto said.

"Because the letter we got from our coaches told us to check the mail a lot." Momo reminded him.

"What kind of things are they going to send us?" wondered Gakuto.

"How should I know?" Momo said as he went back inside, and Gakuto followed him. Choutarou was looked through some cabinets and he pulled out a frying pan as Momo walked over.

"I'm going to try cooking." Said Choutarou, looking excited.

"Do you know how to cook?" Momo asked skeptically.

"Oh!" Choutarou got extremely distracted. "An apron! Guys, should I wear it or will that be a bit much?"

"Yeah…probably a bit much." Marui commented as he sat down.

"Is there are Sharpie anywhere?" Eiji questioned as he looked through the drawers while holding the bowl that was provided for the pet. "I want to write my name on the bowl."

"I think I'm going to wear the apron." Choutarou decided, holding it up and considering the apron.

Momo stared at Choutarou as he started putting on the apron.

"Don't make me hurt you." He said finally.

Choutarou frowned. "You're not going to be one of those mean abusive husbands, are you?" he said.

Team Three  
Tezuka and Aoi were both in the room with the bunk beds. Aoi was on the top bunk staring at the ceiling and Tezuka was sitting on the bottom bunk. Both were sitting in silence.

"So, you sure you want the bottom bunk?" Aoi asked, leaning over the edge.

"I'm sure." Said Tezuka.

"You know," Aoi said, jumping to the ground. "Instead of being the Sister, I could just be another Brother."

Tezuka glared at Aoi.

"How about it?" Aoi tried.

"Or…you could leave me alone." Tezuka suggested.

"Okay…that too…" Aoi nervously sidestepped out of the room.

He backed up into Tachibana who was standing there looking wistful.

"We have a lot of captains in this group." Aoi noted randomly.

"This is all my fault." Tachibana decided.

"What is?" Aoi asked.

"My team is being forced through similar torture and it's all because I was not strong enough to stand up to the coaches!" Tachibana said, clenching his fist dramatically.

"Um…I guess." Said Aoi. "So what's the plan?"

"What do you mean?" Tachibana asked.

"Well, you're the Dad." Said Aoi. "So don't you have a plan?"

"Not really." Tachibana said regrettably.

"HEY!" came David's voice from the kitchen. "EVERYONE COME HERE!"

Tachibana and Aoi sprinted into the kitchen, thinking that maybe something was wrong.

"What is it?" Tachibana said, sounding very concerned.

"It's this mustard." Said David.

"What?" said Aoi and Tachibana.

"Dijon vu… the same mustard as before!" David announced, and then he chuckled at his funny.

Aoi and Tachibana raised their eyebrows. Tezuka, who had also came in, raised his eyebrow as well.

"What is that supposed to mean?" Tezuka said.

"Wait, I have another one!" David said, taking out the ketchup as well. "Practice safe eating… always use condiments!"

This one caused David to go into a fit of hysterical laughing that involved rolling around on the ground.

"I don't get it." Said Tachibana.

"I'm enraged." Tezuka decided.

"He ALWAYS does this." Aoi explained.

Tachibana sighed and then looked around. "By the way, did anyone see if Kabaji came back?" he asked.

"He's been sitting in the doghouse ever since he noticed it was there." Aoi looked out the window.

The three of them looked out the window. Actually, only Tachibana and Tezuka did because they got in the way of Aoi.

"I'm so short…" Aoi said sadly as he took that exact moment to realize that he was tiny compared to everyone else.

"How long is he going to sit out there?" said Tachibana.

"Why do you care?" Tezuka asked.

"He's acting like a dog." Said Tachibana.

"As long as he doesn't go to the bathroom in any place except the bathroom then I don't care." Tezuka said.

"In theory, housebreaking your dog may seem like a fine idea, but it doesn't look good on paper." Said David.

Tezuka, Aoi and Tachibana all slowly turned and stared at David.

"Is that supposed to be a joke?" said Tachibana.

"Or have any relevance to what we were just talking about?" Tezuka added.

"Is that any way to speak to your mother?" demanded David and then he laughed again.

"I'm furious now." Tezuka concluded.

"Please forgive him." Said Aoi. "He can't help it."

"I hope we get mail soon that tells us we can go home." Said Tachibana.

"Or play tennis." Aoi added.

Team Four  
Saeki, Sakurai, Ryoma, Hiyoshi and Yukimura were all sitting in the living room silently. None of them were on the same tennis team, they were of varying ages and none of them had ever really played a match against each other, except for Ryoma and Hiyoshi but that lasted only a few minutes.

"Okay…" said Saeki, folding his hands. "Let's all introduce ourselves just to make sure we all know each other's names. I'm Saeki and I'm on Rokkaku. I received the D."

"Sakurai from Fudomine, I have the M." Sakurai said.

"Hiyoshi." Hiyoshi said. "Hyoutei. B."

"I'm Yukimura, captain of Rikkai Dai and I got the P."

Ryoma stood up. "You all know who I am." He said. "And obviously I have the letter that's leftover."

With that, he started walking away.

"Where are you going?" Sakurai asked.

"And do you have to be such a tool?" Saeki added.

"…" said Hiyoshi.

Ryoma glared and then came back. "Well, I WAS going to go and practice tennis in the backyard, but then I remembered that our coaches confiscated our rackets before we left." He said.

"All right." Said Sakurai. "Our coaches said we should fall into our roles and let's do the best we can with that."

"Yeah." Said Saeki. "I don't want to be kicked off the tennis team."

"That would be terrible." Said Yukimura. "I will head out to the doghouse right away!"

He started walking towards the door but suddenly he started hacking up blood and passed out on the floor.

After a few seconds of everyone wondering what exactly just happened (since they didn't really know him or know about his condition) they decided to be proactive and do something about the pool of blood that was forming on the floor.

"I guess it is our job to take care of our sickly pet." Saeki decided as they all worked together to move Yukimura to the couch.

"And since I'm the Mother, I'll get a mop." Sakurai put his finger up in the air. "Would you two like to help me?"

"You mean us?" Ryoma said, pointing to himself and Hiyoshi.

"Yes." Said Sakurai. "You two are the Brother and Sister."

"How about Brother and Brother?" Ryoma compromised.

"Whatever." Said Sakurai.

"I don't know, I think I want to just go off and do something rebellious." Ryoma said. He looked at Hiyoshi. "Do you want to go off and do something rebellious with me?"

Hiyoshi shrugged. "Whatever." He said.

With that, the two of them walked away, leaving Sakurai and Saeki to deal with the situation at hand.

"This is typical." Said Saeki.

"Of what?" Sakurai questioned.

"A family." Saeki replied.

"How so?" said Sakurai.

"Because no doubt they were the ones who begged us to get a Pet and promised they'd take care of it… and now when it comes time to take care of it, they don't want anything to do with it!"

"That is so true." Sakurai agreed, looking quite offended. "I can't believe those two!"

"We should punish them." Said Saeki.

"Yes." Said Sakurai. "Let's not let them watch television today!"

"Good idea!" said Saeki. "We're going to be the best parents ever!"

"Yeah we will!" agreed Sakurai as the two of them did a secret handshake.


	3. In Which a Notice is Recieved

Team Five  
Shishido and Sengoku were sitting on the living room couch with video game controllers in their hands. They were both enthusiastically playing some violent killing game.

"I hope this game isn't too violent for you, since you're a girl after all." Said Sengoku.

"Don't call me a girl." Said Shishido.

"You got the Sister paper." Sengoku reminded him.

"Whatever." Said Shishido.

"HA!" laughed Sengoku as he killed Shishido's character in the game. "I win."

"You're lame and annoying." Said Shishido as he slumped back in his seat.

"Then I'm fulfilling my duties as your Brother!" laughed Sengoku.

"Play again?" Shishido said.

"Sure!" said Sengoku.

Just then, Oishi rounded the corner. He was wearing an apron that was identical to the one that Choutarou had found in his residence as well.

"What's going on in here?" Oishi demanded.

Sengoku and Shishido both looked up at Oishi but didn't say anything.

"Didn't I tell you two to go outside and get some fresh air?" Oishi said, putting his hands on his hips. "I'm not going to let you be vidiots on such a beautiful day."

"It's not necessary to take this thing THAT seriously." Said Sengoku.

"If you don't turn off that game right now, then I'LL turn it off." Said Oishi, going over to the video game.

"NO NO NO NO NO NO!" screamed Shishido and Sengoku. "WE HAVE TO SAVE IT!"

But it was too late. Oishi turned off the video game and Shishido and Sengoku both gasped.

"You didn't have to do that." Said Shishido with a glare.

"Obviously I did." Said Oishi, sounding SO concerned. "Now both of you get up and go outside. And make sure you don't let Kamio in."

"Why?" said Shishido.

"Because he is an outside pet." Oishi answered. "And you shouldn't wear a hat. It'll hide your face. And I think you need a haircut, Sengoku!"

Sengoku and Shishido backed away from Oishi very slowly and went towards the backdoor. When they opened it up, Kamio was there.

"It's about time!" he yelled angrily. "I refuse to stay outside all the time!"

"No, stay out there, I've decided you're an OUTSIDE pet!" Oishi said as he ran over to the three people who were standing there and then booted them all out into the backyard where they were left to ponder about Oishi's strange behavior.

Oishi wiped his hands on his apron and went back into the kitchen where Itsuki was sitting reading the newspaper and smoking a pipe. Don't worry; it was a bubble pipe because he's too young to be smoking a real pipe.

"Well, they're all outside no thanks to you." Said Oishi as started cleaning the dishes.

There was a slight pause. "Mmm…hmm…" Itsuki said finally.

Oishi continue cleaning the dishes in silence.

"Why are you cleaning the dishes?" Itsuki said as he put the newspaper down and took the bubble pipe out of his mouth.

"Because they're dirty." Oishi answered.

"Can't you put them in the dishwasher?" Itsuki said.

"You can't put pans in the dishwasher!" said Oishi as if the notion was ridiculous.

"Why not?" Itsuki asked.

"Because that's just not how this family works!" Oishi announced. "Even if it means making more work for myself!"

"As long as you don't ask ME for help." Said Itsuki.

"Speaking of which, I would appreciate a little help now and then." Oishi said as he dried one of the pans he had been cleaning.

"Here we go again…" Itsuki turned around and picked up his paper. "Can't I read my newspaper in peace?"

With that, he ran to the bathroom and slammed and locked the door.

Oishi stood there being offended for a little while, but then he realized that it was time to make lunch and he couldn't waste anymore time.

Team Six  
Kaidou, Oshitari, Akutsu and Ryou were all sitting around the kitchen table. Atsushi was awkwardly standing on the side since he didn't have a chair. They were all eating grilled cheese sandwiches, but no one was saying anything.

Finally, Kaidou put his sandwich down and cleared his throat.

"These grilled cheese sandwiches taste like cancer." He said.

"Well excuse me for living." Said Oshitari.

"He's right." Said Ryou. "Can't you make better grilled cheese sandwiches?"

"I've never cooked before." Said Oshitari.

"Well you're the Mom." Said Ryou. "You should learn to cook."

"Why don't I get a chair?" whined Atsushi.

"Because our Pet has precedence over you." Kaidou answered.

"Don't call me that." Said Akutsu as he picked up his knife and pointed it at Kaidou.

"This isn't fair." Said Atsushi. "I should get a seat. I'm one of the kids. You're just the Pet."

"I SAID not to call me that." Akutsu said, bending his knife in half.

"Make Kaidou get up." Said Oshitari. "He's only a second year and we're all third years."

"That's right!" said Atsushi. "Kaidou, get up!"

"I'm the Dad." Said Kaidou.

"But you're only a second year and I'm a third year." Atsushi said.

Kaidou picked up his knife and bent it in half as well while hissing.

"Fine…" Atsushi said, looking dejected.

"I can't eat grilled cancer sandwiches anymore." Said Kaidou.

"Well, then you make your own sandwiches from now on." Said Oshitari, standing up and piling the plates on top of each other.

"I was eating that…" complained Ryou as Oshitari walked away with all the plates and half eaten grilled cheese sandwiches.

Oshitari dropped the plates in the sink and returned to the table only to find that Atsushi had taken his seat.

"I was going to sit in the living room anyway." Said Oshitari as he went into the living room and sat on the chair.

The ones still sitting at the kitchen table decided that the kitchen table wasn't comfortable enough and they wanted to watch television. Kaidou went to the couch and sat down. Atsushi and Ryou sat down on the couch as well. Akutsu was the last one to the living room and now there was no place to sit.

"Where am I supposed to sit?" Akutsu demanded.

"Just use a chair from the kitchen." Oshitari said.

"Right." Said Akutsu as he went into the kitchen, grabbed a chair and then walked back into the living room. He raised the chair over his head and then hurled it at the television.

The television, needless to say, broke.

Everyone winced and had their various reactions to his sudden act of extreme violence.

"I want someplace to sit." Akutsu said.

"Fine, take my seat." Oshitari rolled his eyes as he went towards the kitchen. "I'll go put the dishes away or something. Atsushi, help me."

"Why?" said Atsushi.

"Because you're the daughter." Oshitari answered.

"That's not fair!" said Atsushi. "Ryou looks more like a girl than I do!"

"Hey!" said Ryou.

"Well, Ryou can help Kaidou do some yardwork." Oshitari suggested.

"Fine." Said Kaidou, standing up. "I have to get outside and move around anyway. Come on, Ryou."

Both Ryou and Atsushi complained, especially since Akutsu got to just sit there and do nothing. If only they had a television…

Team Seven  
Tetsu, the Brother, was sitting inside playing a video game by himself. He kept leaning over to look out the window and see Inui, the Pet, and Renji, the Mom, sitting on the back porch and talking. He wondered what they were talking about. But only a little.

He knew Jirou, the Dad, was sleeping in the room with the big bed, and Sanada, the Sister, was the only one who was unaccounted for.

It was exactly then that Sanada entered while talking on a cell phone. "Oh really?" he said. "Well, that's good to hear! I'm glad you called! Bye!"

He hung up the phone and looked at Tetsu who was staring at him.

"Can I help you?" he said.

"Who was that?" Tetsu asked.

"Team Four." Sanada answered. "I must always be in contact with Yukimura to make sure he's all right at all times!"

"Oh." Said Tetsu. "Um…okay."

Sanada then flung open the door where Inui and Renji were pleasantly talking.

"Hey!" he said. "Good news! Yukimura's FINE!"

"Oh good." Said Renji.

Inui only sat there.

"What are you staring at?" Sanada glared at Inui.

"Nothing." Said Inui.

Tetsu decided he was lonely so he came out onto the back porch as well. "Hey, has anyone checked the mail recently?" he asked.

"I haven't." said Renji.

"Why don't you go make that your special job, how about that?" said Sanada.

Tetsu looked at Sanada questioningly and then walked off to check to see if there was any mail.

"Ahh… second years." Said Sanada. "Do you two remember what it was like to be one of them?"

"Yes." Said Inui. "It wasn't THAT long ago."

"It feels like it was!" said Sanada.

Then the three of them sat there like idiots. Saying nothing. Doing nothing. Maybe they were just enjoying each other's company, or maybe they were just being totally awkward about everything.

Whatever it was, Tetsu reentered a few minutes later. "Look!" he said. "We got a letter!"

"Excellent, read it!" said Sanada.

"What about Jirou?" Tetsu asked.

"What about him?" said Inui.

"He's in the other room." Tetsu answered. "Shouldn't he hear what the letter says too?"

"Hm…yes, probably." Said Renji.

With that, they all mutually and telepathically decided to go into the bedroom in which Jirou was in and read the letter so he could hear it too! Aww, that's so nice of them!

So they awoke Jirou and he stayed awake for about one minute before falling asleep again.

So they felt foolish for migrating into that room since he was just staying asleep anyway.

But it would have been even more foolish to go back out on the back porch to read the letter so they just stayed where they were. Maybe Jirou would subconsciously hear what the letter said and absorb it whilst he slept.

"Oh wait." Said Tetsu. "This letter is addressed to the Dad. I'm not the Dad. Who's the Dad?"

The others all looked at each other.

"I'm the Sister." Said Sanada. "It's not me."

"I'm the Pet." Inui added. "Definitely not me."

"I'm the Mom." Renji finished. "So Jirou must be the Dad."

They all stared at him.

"There is a one hundred percent chance that no one will know if you open that letter instead of him." Inui told Tetsu.

"I agree." Chimed the other two.

"Well…okay…" said Tetsu. "If that's the case, one of you open it!"

Then they played a game of hot potato with the letter.

Team Eight  
"What does it say?" Shinji asked as Yuuta opened the letter that was addressed to the Dad of the family, which was of course him.

"Hold on, I'm opening it." Yuuta said as he did just that. "Okay…it says, _We hope you have all enjoyed your first few hours with each other getting used to your roles in the family. But now there will be something different. Please report to the tennis courts as soon as you receive this message. But just so you know, you're not going to be playing tennis even though we'll be at tennis courts."_

Then there was silence.

All those present suddenly threw their arms up in the air.

"WE GET TO PLAY TENNIS!" they screamed since they were already going through tennis withdrawal.

Then they quickly got a hold of themselves and adjusted their clothing to make themselves look cool again.

"We will likely be playing one doubles match and three singles matches." Said Atobe. "I will play Singles 1 since I am the best."

The others stared at him.

"What?" said Atobe. "I am."

"I think I should get to decide since I'm the Dad and YOU'RE the Pet." Said Yuuta controversially.

Atobe only stared at Yuuta as if he was a fool for saying such things.

"Well, it makes enough sense to me." Said Bane. "You pick who plays where. But just so you know, I only play doubles."

"Same here." Jackal chimed.

"So you two can play the doubles match." Yuuta decided.

"It's funny too because we're the Brother and Sister." Said Bane. Then he frowned. "Well… Brother and Brother."

"No, Brother and Sister." Said Jackal as he pointed and laughed while Bane just pouted childishly.

Yuuta then had to decide who would be playing Singles 1, 2 and 3 out of him, Shinji and Atobe.

"Well, so I'll be playing Singles 1." Said Atobe as if it were a given.

"No, I'M deciding." Said Yuuta.

Atobe sighed and put his hand on Yuuta's shoulder. "I'm sorry you feel that way." He said. "Because I am playing Singles 1."

Yuuta got sad because his self-esteem just went down ten notches, and this person who was standing before him was almost as terrifying as his older brother.

"Fine…" said Yuuta. "You can play Singles 1…"

"I don't need your permission." Said Atobe as he strode away to go and get ready for his match.

Shinji was still standing there like a fool child. "So…" he said.

"What?" said Yuuta.

"Do you want to play 2 or 3?" Shinji said.

"I don't care…" said Yuuta since he was currently in a pit of despair.

"Shouldn't we head to the tennis courts?" said Bane as he picked up the paper with the address on it. "I don't want to miss any tennis matches. It would devastate me if I missed any matches at all."

"YEAH!" cheered the rest of the team.

"I hope our coaches remember to bring our rackets…" said Bane as he put the paper down.

"Wait, what's that on the back of the paper?" said Yuuta, taking the paper back. "Oh. It's giving us some instruction on what we should bring. The Mom has to bring the apron, the Dad has to bring a hammer, the Sister has to bring some elastics, the Brother has to bring one of the video game controllers provided in the house, and the Pet has to bring his bowl."

Everyone shrugged and grabbed their appointed items. Shinji bunched up the apron in his hand but didn't put it on. Yuuta located a hammer in the shed while Bane retrieved some hair elastics from the bathroom. Jackal grabbed one of controllers while Atobe distastefully took hold of the bowl.

When they were ready, they nodded at each other, getting psyched up to play some TENNIS! Even though they're not going to play tennis. BUT SHH! DON'T TELL THEM!


	4. In Which a Challenge Begins

Day One  
The First Competition  
Everyone arrived relatively punctually because they were all so excited about playing tennis, since they OBVIOUSLY didn't read the not-so-fine print on the letter they received.

"Why is there an obstacle course on the tennis courts?" questioned Shishido. "It'll be impossible to play tennis with all that stuff in the way."

"What makes you guys think you're playing tennis?" yelled Ryuuzaki.

"We bolded the sentence, '_But just so you know, you're not going to be playing tennis even though we'll be at tennis courts' _so you guys wouldn't be under the impression that we would be playing tennis!" Sakaki yelled, waving the letter around angrily. "You guys are the dumbest people we know!"

"Calm down, Sakaki." Said Ojii. "You don't want to say anything you'll regret later."

"Yes, yes, you're right." Said Sakaki even though everyone else was already very hurt by what he had just said.

"You're all going to compete against each other." Said Ryuuzaki. "And WE will be the judges. And, just so you don't have to ask, it won't be tennis."

"Aww…" said everyone who was going to ask. And that was everyone.

"You will all be in this competition." Said Sakaki. "And depending which group does the best AS A TEAM, they will receive a special prize that you will find at your house when you return to it. The losers will get nothing."

"ALSO!" Ojii continued. "This is also a competition with the other people on your team. So whoever does the best in his individual part of the competition will get a special prize received in the form of a letter tomorrow morning. And trust me, this is definitely something that you want to win, so be sure to do your best as a team AND as an individual!"

"So this is how it's going to work." Banji started. "All the Moms go with Ryuuzaki. All the Dads go with Ojii. The Brothers and Sisters go with Sakaki and all the Pets come with me."

At first, no one moved, but once they were reminded that their participation in the school tennis team was in jeopardy if they didn't comply, they promptly cooperated.

The Dads  
"Okay, Dads." Ojii said as Fuji, Momo, Tachibana, Saeki, Itsuki, Kaidou, Jirou and Yuuta moved away from the tennis courts. "I trust you all brought your hammers, right?" 

All the fathers raised their hammers in a less than enthusiastic manner.

"Good." Said Ojii. "Everyone get at one of these stations according to your team number."

There were eight piles of wood accompanied by a bucket of nails arranged in a circle with a sign sticking out of the ground that dictated who belonged to each pile. It was in numerical order so it went around and 1 was in between 2 and 8 and so forth.

"The object of this competition is to build something." Ojii said. "Anything! You only have an hour to make it. And you are permitted to bring it back to your house so try to make it something useful. You may only use the wood and nails provided. What are you all waiting for? Go!"

With that, everyone started working furiously.

Yuuta decided he would be building a bench for his family. There weren't enough places to sit in the room, that much had already been established. At first he thought maybe he'd make a chair, but then he figured he could seat even more people if it was a bench.

As he turned to grab another piece of wood, he noticed that Fuji was just sitting there staring at him with a big contented grin on his face that resembled PRIDE.

"Why are you staring at me?" Yuuta demanded.

"Hm?" said Fuji, not faltering at all.

"You're staring at me!" said Yuuta. "Stop!"

"Oh." Said Fuji. And still, he was not deterred.

"Don't you have to make your own project?" Yuuta tried.

"Yes." Fuji replied. He continued to smile at Yuuta.

"Whatever, fine…" said Yuuta as he tried to ignore the creepiness that is Fuji Shuusuke.

"I'm going to make a CHAIR!" said Momo proudly as he pretended to know what he was doing by grabbing random pieces of wood and smashing them together to make something that resembled a chair. But it didn't really resemble a chair all that much.

"Hey Fuji, aren't you going to start your project?" Saeki called down to Fuji who was still just admiring Yuuta.

"Hm?" Fuji turned around.

"We only have an hour to work." Saeki reminded him.

"Hm…yes…" Fuji said with a sigh, looking back to his pile of wood. But then he got distracted by Yuuta and decided to just admire him some more. Saeki shrugged and decided WHATEVER! If Fuji wasn't going to do anything then he didn't really care then that meant he had a better chance of winning.

"Why do we have to do this?" Itsuki complained. "I wish I was anywhere except here." He looked over at Kaidou. "What are you making?"

Kaidou glared at Itsuki. "I'm not telling you." He said.

"Tell me!" whined Itsuki. "I'll tell you what I'M making!"

"I don't care what you're making." Kaidou announced.

"Well, I'm making a clam bucket." Said Itsuki.

"I already said that I don't care what you're making." Kaidou reminded him with another angry glare.

"PLEASE tell me!" Itsuki begged.

"NO!" Kaidou and his short temper yelled.

Itsuki pouted for a little while but then he realized that he didn't really care either and couldn't remember why he was being so obsessed with knowing.

And, as for Jirou, he was sleeping. He just wasn't excited enough to do something else.

The Moms  
"I hate being the Mom…" Oshitari said as he stood in front of the stove with the 6 above it. 

The Moms were arranged in a circle just like the Dads had been, but instead of having a pile of wood, they each had a stove and various things that could be utilized to cook with. And Ryuuzaki forced them all to wear their aprons, even though some people would have done it anyway. Well, now all eight of them were wearing one! YAY!

Oshitari frowned as his stove started emitting smoke.

"I think that's a bad thing." Renji said as he waved his hand since Oshitari's smoke was floating over to his Team 7 station. "For it to smoke like that, I mean."

Oshitari blinked. "Yes." He said. "I believe it is."

"Cooking is for people who don't know how to utilize their time properly by practicing tennis." Shinji crossed his arms as if staring at his cooking tools would do something besides NOTHING.

"Hey, what did I say about saying the word 'tennis'?" said Ryuuzaki.

"Um…don't do it?" Shinji tried.

"RIGHT!" said Ryuuzaki as she walked away.

"And besides, I'm sure there's a way that some people balance their time evenly between practicing tennis and cooking…" said Taka as he made something that he would obviously make.

"I doubt it." Said Shinji under his breath but everyone heard him. Seriously, everyone did. Even Yagyuu and Niou who were still having their up all night movie marathon party.

Taka got sad but then figured he'd just make it up by showing that he was an excellent cook AND a superb tennis player. BURNING!

"I'm making this stir fry with love!" said Choutarou with horseshoe eyes as he measured out the correct amount of rice. How he managed to do it accurately with his eyes closed is beyond me, but somehow Renji manages it all day every day so we can just assume that some people are born with holes in their eyelids!

David was at the stove next to Choutarou. He stared at Choutarou without saying anything. He wanted to say something because he just had to. But he couldn't think of a good pun that would fit in the situation. He had to say a pun about what Choutarou had just said because it was just so ridiculous that he had to be made fun of.

He was getting really frustrated and angry because he couldn't think of a pun to make fun of Choutarou.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" screamed David as he grabbed a frying pan and hit himself over the head with it.

Choutarou looked down at his unconscious body crumpled on the floor.

"Um…" he said slowly, and then looked up to see Sakurai also staring at David.

"I have no idea." Sakurai said.

"What's all the commotion over there?" Oishi said as he pulled a pie out of the oven.

"I don't know." Sakurai answered. "David just suddenly hit himself over the head with a frying pan. Maybe to escape the torture of having to cook something."

"I don't know." Said Oishi as he started decorating his pie. "It's not THAT bad." But then he was distracted by the fact that Oshitari's oven was on the verge of exploding. "Hey!"

"Sorry." said Oshitari as he grabbed a towel and tried to fan out all the smoke.

"You're trying to sabotage my pie!" Oishi accused.

"No I'm not." Said Oshitari, raising an eyebrow.

The Brothers and the Sisters  
"This competition is unfair…" complained Sanada to Bane as the two of them sat in the corner and watched the competition unfold. 

"I feel like it was designed especially for making our teams automatically lose." Agreed Bane.

Just then, Aoi walked over.

"What are you doing here?" said Sanada. "Your team's Brother has hair."

"Yeah…but Tezuka told me not to touch him so I just decided to give up…" Aoi said, nervously looking back at Tezuka.

The Sister's competition was that they had to braid the Brother's hair. Of course, this immediately disqualified Bane and Sanada, considering Jackal and Tetsu were bald.

So, while the Brothers engaged in mortal combat via eight-way video game, the Sisters that remained all stood behind them trying to braid their hair in the most superior way possible.

"This is horrible." Said Ryoma. "I'm actually going to lose at something."

"Sorry I don't have longer hair." Said Hiyoshi as he zombied out in front of the video games.

"Yeah, you should be sorry." Ryoma agreed. "We're going to lose because of you."

"Sorry." Said Hiyoshi apathetically.

"It's not fair that you get to play video games and I have to stand behind you and pretend to braid your hair for an hour." Said Shishido grumpily to Sengoku. Let's face it… Shishido hates the world. Except Choutarou.

"Well, it's a good thing I'm playing because I own you at video games!" Sengoku laughed. "Haha! SISTER!"

"Don't call me that!" Shishido yelled as he grabbed Sengoku by the roots of his hair and pulled it violently.

"OWWW!" yelled Sengoku.

"Well, it looks like it's a good thing after all that you're the Brother and I'm the Sister." Said Atsushi. "Because how funny would it have been if it was the other way and you had to braid MY hair when you're the only one who has long enough hair to braid?"

Ryou took a moment out of his violent video game to look up at his sibling. "So funny." He said as he went back to his game.

"That was sarcastic, you jerk." Atsushi glared at him.

"Yeah, it was." Said Ryou. "Just don't fail at braiding because that'll be the only thing that makes us lose this competition."

"Well you don't fail at winning your video game!" said Atsushi because he couldn't think of anything else to say.

Tetsu and Jackal were sitting next to each other. The absence of the Sister behind them was apparent.

"I feel kind of guilty about being bald." Said Jackal.

"I'm not really bald." Tetsu whispered secretively. "I just wear this thing on my head to make everyone think I am."

"Really?" said Jackal.

"No, I'm bald." Tetsu answered.

"Okay…" Jackal said slowly. "Which is it?"

"I'm bald." Tetsu assured him.

"I must win for my team…!" said Mizuki as he enthusiastically did his best to destroy any opponent that confronted him while Yana stood behind him trying to get enough hair in one area to braid. "AH! You pulled my hair! That hurt!"

"Sorry!" said Yana. "You don't have enough hair to braid!"

"That's obvious!" said Mizuki.

"Great…" said Yana. "We're going to lose this competition. This was the worst idea ever on our coach's part."

"Yeah…we should have just…played tennis." Mizuki nodded.

"You know what?" said Gakuto to Marui. "If I knew how to French braid, I bet I could do THAT with your hair."

Marui cleared his throat.

"What?" said Gakuto.

"It's FREEDOM braid." Marui corrected him.

"Shut up." Said Gakuto.

Before Marui could say anything else, he noticed Tezuka next to him suddenly start to glow with intense yellow aura.

"What's going on…?" he said hesitantly.

"Huh?" said Ryoma since he was standing behind and diagonal to Tezuka. "What? Isn't that the Tezuka Zone…?"

Everyone who was braiding and playing stopped to look.

That's when everyone's controllers exploded.

Except for Tezuka's.

"AHHHHHHHH!" yelled all the Brothers who had been holding controllers and now had singed pieces of plastic in their hands. Tezuka just continued playing and didn't flinch as if nothing happened at all.

"Tezuka just exploded our controllers with the Tezuka Zone!" Sengoku yelled, and it sounded like a tattle.

"Why can he do that?" demanded Gakuto.

"What?" said Sakaki as he walked over and noticed that no one was playing except Tezuka. "Oh, it looks like Tezuka wins the Brother competition!"

"Lame!" whined everyone else, except for Aoi who ran over and cheered.

"I am the best." Said Tezuka as he kept killing the video game characters that were now rendered immobile because the people controlling them had no controllers.


	5. In Which a Winner is Decided

The Pets  
After the plan had been described to Kirihara, Eiji, Kabaji, Yukimura, Kamio, Akutsu, Inui and Atobe, there were a wide variety of reactions. 

"Well, as you can see from this obstacle course…" Banji began. "You as the pets will travel in and out of the tubes, up the stairs, over the hurdles… and yes, this IS a regulation pet obstacle course. Whoever finishes first is the winner."

They all stared at him.

"No." Akutsu said.

"Kabaji," said Atobe as he snapped his fingers. "Find me an umbrella. It is hot out."

"Yes." Said Kabaji as he walked off.

"Looks like it's just us!" said Eiji, looking at Kiriharau, Yukimura, Inui and Kamio.

"Are you serious?" said Kirihara. "I'm not going through a pet obstacle course. Are you on drugs or something?"

Eiji looked sad because of that last comment.

"I'm just going to stand here." Inui announced as he whipped out his notebook and a pen. He was going to collect data.

"All right, it's just us then!" said Kamio to Yukimura and Eiji. "I'm determined to win so I can get that individual prize!" He paused. "Hopefully, it'll be something so good that I can get INSIDE the house…"

"Let's all do our best!" said Yukimura.

But then he hacked up blood and passed out.

So he was transported to the hospital, and Kamio and Eiji nodded at each other.

"In a race, I can't lose!" said Kamio. "Once I get in the rhythm."

"I can't lose because of my acrobatics!" declared Eiji.

"Ready?" said Banji as Eiji and Kamio got in their ready positions. "GO!"

With that, Eiji and Kamio both tore off through the obstacle course just as Kabaji returned with a giant umbrella.

"Ah, thank you Kabaji." Said Atobe as he sat down and Kabaji held the umbrella over him.

"I am gathering some compelling data on these two." Said Inui as he watched Eiji and Kamio in their element. Even though it's not really their element. Their element is actually tennis.

"This is the stupidest thing ever." Said Akutsu. "I don't even like tennis. Why am I going along with this?"

"I wish I was playing tennis right now…" sighed Kirihara longingly at the courts that were decorated with pet obstacle course things instead of the net that he loves so much.

It was about that time that all the other groups that had been doing other tasks returned to watch the rest of the race. They were angry with their pets for refusing to compete and were sad that only Group Two and Group Five had someone to cheer for.

"Once this competition is finished, we will announce the winners of each competition!" said Ryuuzaki. "You will find out who the individual winner is tomorrow morning in the mail, and it will come with your special prize as well. Whichever team has the most wins will also find their prize when they get home."

"HURRAY!" cheered everyone.

"HA!" came a triumphant voice from the pet obstacle course.

Everyone stood up to see who had won to discover Kamio emerge from the tunnel and point off at the sun as a sign for his victory.

"Go Team Five!" cheered all the others on Team Five, as Eiji crawled dejectedly through the tunnel and hung his head in shame. His team told him it was okay, but he felt like crying.

The coaches gathered everyone around and made them sit in their groups. The Dads all had their projects with them and were showing them off to their families.

"The winner of the Dad competition is…" Ojii said, pausing for the anticipation. "TACHIBANA!"

"TACHIBANA, YOU ARE THE BEST!" screamed everyone in Fudomine.

The others all stared at everyone in Fudomine. It was silly because no one on Fudomine is on Tachibana's team.

"Good job, Tachibana!" said Aoi. "What did you make?"

"A chair." Tachibana answered, holding up his chair that looked perfect. "I noticed we only had four chairs for our kitchen table…"

"I made a chair too!" Momo said, drawing attention to the worst chair in the entire world.

"Did you have a seizure while making that chair?" Kaidou said.

"HEY!" Momo yelled. "Your chair looks worst! It's too small to even sit on!"

"It's not a chair!" Kaidou said angrily.

"What is it, then?" Momo said.

"I'm not telling!" Kaidou said, protecting his tiny project.

"What about Yuuta's bench?" Fuji questioned.

"Fuji, just leave me alone!" said Yuuta. "You spent your entire hour just staring at me and you didn't even make a project! That's just weird!"

Fuji didn't say anything in response. It's not like he could have.

"ANYWAY," Ryuuzaki interrupted. "Let's move on so you can all get home before it gets dark. For the MOM'S competition! I taste tested all the meals and, although some of them were pretty good and most of them were rancid, there was one that was above and beyond all the rest! And that person is…TAKA!"

"Me?" Taka gasped.

"Your Sushi never ceases to amaze me!" said Ryuuzaki, wiping a tear from her eye.

"But…what about…my pie…?" Oishi said, looking ULTRA sad as he still held his pie. Ryuuzaki didn't have the heart to tell him that it was all undercooked on the inside and burnt on the outside just because he tried so hard on it.

"I'm so proud of you, Taka." Said Fuji.

"Um…thanks." Said Taka.

"So far, Team One and Team Three each have a point." Said Sakaki. "And just so you know, in the event of a tie, we move into a tiebreaker. But moving on! The Brothers competition…"

"Tezuka." Said all the brothers.

"Wow!" said Sakaki. "How did you know?"

"All of our controllers exploded, remember?" Tetsu said with a frown.

"Yes, I remember." Said Sakaki. "That's why Tezuka won."

Everyone rolled their eyes.

"Anyway, I also judged the Sisters competition." Sakaki went on. "And considering there's only one person who actually braided the Brother's hair, the winner is Atsushi!"

"I win!" cheered Atsushi.

"Can I take this braid out now?" whined Ryou.

"No, you have to keep it in forever." Said Sakaki.

Ryou ignored him and took the braid out anyway. Sakaki didn't care because he wasn't serious.

"And finally, the Pet competition." Said Banji. "Well, you were all there! You all know that Kamio won!"

"YAAAAAAAY!" cheered Kamio's team.

"Nice job, Kamio." Said Tachibana.

"Thank you, Tachibana!" said Kamio as his eyes welded with tears after receiving a compliment from Tachibana.

"Does that mean our team wins because we have two points?" Aoi asked, raising his hand.

The coaches made sure it all made sense, and then agreed.

"The winners are Team Three: Tachibana, David, Aoi, Tezuka and Kabaji!" announced Ryuuzaki.

"That team has too many captains on it." Inui observed, but his observation was pointless and to himself. He wrote it down.

"Well, now that you all know who the winners are, we want you all to return to your houses." Said Ojii.

"And we remind you that you're not allowed to play tennis." Sakaki said.

"And be excited for the letter tomorrow to see who your individual winner is and what they get for their SPECIAL prize!" said Banji. "Not to mention Team Three will find their team's special prize when they get back to their house!"

"Eat dinner and have a good night!" urged Ryuuzaki.

The teams then dispersed and made their way back their houses.


	6. In Which There Are New Chairs

Night One  
Team One  
"You know, Fuji, if you had utilized your time like a smart person then maybe we could have a fifth chair so we could have all sat at the table for dinner." Said Mizuki, glaring at Fuji who happened to be sitting across from him with perfectly contented horseshoe eyes.

The fact that he did NOT react, sort of creeped everyone out so they all mutually decided to change the subject.

"Great job in the challenge, Taka!" said Yana.

"Thanks!" said Taka as he made dinner in the kitchen. The rest of the family was just sitting idly by at the table.

"Maybe if Kirihara had competed, or if Fuji had done ANYTHING, then we could have beat everyone else and won those parts too and then we could have gotten the special team prize." Mizuki said.

Kirihara stood up and looked as though he was about to slam his hand down on the table and start screaming, but Fuji put his hand up and lightly touched Kirihara's arm.

"What?" demanded Kirihara. "I'm gonna kill this guy!"

"Not now." Fuji said calmly, slowly turning his head and looking at Mizuki.

"When?" Kirihara said angrily.

"You'll know." Fuji replied.

Kirihara nodded and sat back down. Mizuki wasn't going to admit it, but he was scared out of his mind. He scooted back in his chair a little bit.

"So um…what're you making for dinner, Taka?" Yana said after it was quiet for a little while.

"Sushi!" Taka answered as he continued to make dinner.

"After dinner, we should all go to bed." Fuji decided.

"But it's so early." Yana pointed out with a slight whine in his voice.

"Not really." Fuji said. "It's dark out."

"Speaking of 'bed', we have to figure out the sleeping arrangements." Kirihara said. "Because I am NOT sleeping in that doghouse in the backyard."

"Well, obviously the Mom and Dad are sleeping in that bed in that room—" Mizuki began.

"In the same bed?" Taka said as he put some food in the middle of the table. "Shouldn't one of us sleep on the couch or something?"

"I get the couch." Kirihara declared.

"It'll be all right." Fuji said. "The bed's big enough."

"I guess…" Taka sighed.

"I call the top bunk!" said Yana.

"That's what you think." Said Mizuki.

"Well, I said it first." Yana said smugly.

"Fine." Said Mizuki, leaning back and crossing his arms. "Then you're benched for the season."

"You can't do that!" yelled Yana.

"Yes I can." Said Mizuki. "I'm the manager of the team, remember?"

"Are you looking to be the least favorite in the family, Mizuki?" Fuji asked. "Because right now, I believe you have antagonized everyone once."

"Not me." Said Taka who as still just standing there foolishly while everyone else ate.

"Well, he antagonized me twice so that's the same as if he antagonized everyone once." Fuji sighed as if what he was saying wasn't totally outrageous.

"You just don't like me because Yuuta likes me better." Mizuki said confidently.

Fuji just sat there stone-faced. I'm willing to bet he probably has one of the best poker faces EVER.

Mizuki was feeling pretty good about the insult he just made, but he quickly realized that now he wasn't going to be able to let himself go to sleep tonight or else he may never wake up.

The kitchen remained silent for a long time as Fuji seemed to be absorbing the weight of Mizuki's comment.

Abruptly, Fuji stood. "I'm going to bed now." He said. "Good night."

And then he departed.

The remaining family members looked at each other, and calmly Taka took Fuji's empty seat. "About where we're sleeping tonight…" he started uneasily. "Is that what we decided for sure…?"

Team Two  
"This chair is just what this house needed!" Momo announced as he plunked his special chair in the middle of the floor. 

Everyone stared at it. Not only was it in the way of everything in the entire world, but it certainly was an eyesore. There were nails sticking out of it in a dangerous hazardous sort of way and it was lopsided. It looked like something a third grader made.

"It looks great, Momo." Said Choutarou because he loves having friends.

"Really?" said Gakuto, crossing his arms. "If it looks so great then why is it the opposite of that?"

"What's that supposed to mean?" Momo said, rolling his sleeves up.

"I MEAN, it dangerous just being there in the middle of the floor with all those nails and stuff sticking out of it!" said Gakuto. "AND it's ugly!"

"It's not… THAT bad!" said Eiji. He looked at it from the side. "Well, it's only KIND of ugly."

"Yeah, and what if I was doing flip in this room and I injured myself because of your stupid chair?" demanded Gakuto.

"I have a simple solution for that; don't do a flip in this room!" Momo retorted.

"Well get your stupid chair out of here!" said Gakuto, kicking it.

"Don't kick my chair!" Momo yelled as he dove for his chair and saved it.

"I don't mind the chair being here!" said Choutarou pleasantly. "Though maybe we could compromise so that it's over here so that if Gakuto feels the uncontrollable urge to do a flip then he wouldn't risk injuring himself AND the chair could be in this room."

Gakuto and Momo stared at Choutarou for a few seconds and then decided to ignore him all together.

"This is stupid argument." Said Marui. "Let's just put the chair in a closet or someplace else where no one can see it."

"I worked really hard on this chair!" Momo whined.

"Maybe you should have worked really, really hard on this chair." Gakuto said. "Then maybe we would have won."

"Gakuto, stop being such a bitch!" said Eiji.

"How dare you call me that!" said Gakuto.

Eiji threw his hand over his mouth. "You're right…" he said. "That was uncalled for. I don't know what came over me." He wistfully walked over to the window and looked up at the sky. "It's just that… seeing Oishi at the challenge today reminded me how much I loved playing doubles with him…"

"Yeah…" Gakuto agreed. "I really miss practicing my acrobatic tennis skills with Oshitari…"

"We have to be strong, everyone…" said Choutarou as a silent tear rolled down his cheek. "I'm sure Shishido is being strong as well."

"Yeah…doubles is cool." Said Marui. "And I play doubles. With Jackal. It's a good time."

"Whoa." Said Momo, taking a step back as the other three joined Eiji with looking out the window wistfully. "Guys, I play doubles sometimes. But you guys are definitely obsessing over playing doubles."

The four all gave heavy, helpless sighs.

"I'll take your silences as a YES, my chair will remain here." Momo said.

"NO!" Gakuto yelled, spinning around. "Your chair offends me!"

"Too bad!" said Momo. "I'm the Dad and you're the Sister and that makes me the king of this castle! And, as king, I am keeping my chair here FOREVER."

"It's just by luck that you got to be the Dad!" argued Gakuto. "I'm a THIRD YEAR!"

"Ootori, back me up on this one." Momo said.

"Leave me out of this!" said Choutarou. "I don't want to get involved in your fight over something silly!"

"You're all being so mean to each other!" Eiji yelled as he got WAY too emotional right then and there. "If Oishi was here, this never would have happened! I'm going to my doghouse and no one try and stop me!"

Eiji then grabbed his bowl and ran out into the backyard while crying like a disgusting hysterical mess.

The others stood and watched him go.

"Oh no!" said Choutarou. "I was supposed to stop him, wasn't I? I'm the worst mother ever!"

"Technically, you're not HIS mother." Momo said.

"Actually, he's no one's mother." Marui pointed out. "And he won't ever be."

"That too." Momo nodded.

"Nevertheless, he needs comforting!" said Choutarou as he ran off to perform the aforementioned declaration.

Team Three  
"You have to explain to me how you made all those controllers explode, Tezuka!" Aoi said excitedly. The two of them were in their bedroom getting changed into their pajamas. OF COURSE they were both staring at the wall so neither of them would see anything that they would have preferred to not see.

"I used the Tezuka Zone." Tezuka replied flatly. But when DOESN'T he reply to something flatly? If he replies at all.

"I thought the Tezuka Zone was a way to put a spin on the ball so that no matter how your opponent hit it, it always came back to—" Aoi started.

"It is." Said Tezuka. "But the Tezuka Zone has many uses."

They both finished at the same time, which was good because they both turned around at the same time. Tezuka had on Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles pajamas and Aoi had on Power Rangers pajamas.

"Like exploding video game controllers?" Aoi questioned.

"Yes." Said Tezuka.

The two of them went into the kitchen where Tachibana was resetting the table so that it accommodated five people since they now had five chairs.

"You know, we're probably the only team that doesn't really need five chairs." Tachibana said. He was wearing Transformers: Robots in Disguise pajamas.

"Why's that?" Aoi asked.

"Because Kabaji just sits in that doghouse all the time." Tachibana answered, pointing out the window. Sure enough, Kabaji was in the doghouse with his Yugi Oh! pajamas.

"Where's David?" Tezuka asked. "Not that I want him around."

"He went to bed earlier because he hit himself over the head with a frying pan and, apparently, has a headache." Tachibana replied.

"Hey, has anyone taken the time to find out what our special prize for winning the competition is?" Aoi questioned.

The three captains of their appointed teams stared at each other.

"Oh yeah…" said Tezuka and Tachibana.

They looked around vaguely and then scratched their heads.

"Well, obviously it's not SO special that we didn't see it upon entering the house." Said Tezuka.

"Oh wait." Said Tachibana. "When I went into my room to change into my pajamas, I noticed there was a cot in there. Was that always there or is that new?"

"I think that's new." Tezuka replied.

"Of course!" said Aoi. "It's a cot so Kabaji doesn't have to sleep outside in the doghouse!"

"I'm pretty sure he likes it out there." Said Tachibana.

"Okay…so it's a cot so you and David don't have to share a bed." Aoi rephrased.

"Well, that's good." Said Tachibana.

"That prize isn't that special." Tezuka said. "One of you could have slept on the couch."

"Do you think we can ask for a different special prize?" Tachibana wondered.

"I think we should appreciate it!" said Aoi. "Just think of all the other teams that have to have someone sleep out in the doghouse when they don't WANT to, and have two people share a bed!"

The two elders looked down at Aoi and raised their eyebrows at him.

"Why are you the captain of your team?" said Tezuka finally since it was on both of their minds. "There are plenty of third years that would have been fine choices."

"Are you asking me that question only to annoy me?" Aoi said. "Cause it's working."

"Whatever." Said Tezuka as he walked away.

Aoi put his hands on his hips and looked offended.

"It's all right, Aoi." Said Tachibana since he loves people who are younger than him and enjoys inspiring them. "I'm sure you're a really good captain."

"Thanks!" said Aoi, beaming.

And then Tachibana felt proud of himself because he's just that way.

Team Four  
"All right, so we've got Fruit Snacks, Handisnacks, Pudding Snacks…" Saeki went down the line. He had pulled everything out of the pantry because he was so bored while everyone else was off in the other room doing something else.

After a little while, Ryoma entered.

"Why did you take everything out of the pantry and put it on the table?" Ryoma questioned. "And why are you talking to yourself?"

"No reason!" said Saeki defensively as he started cleaning up right away.

Ryoma grabbed one of the Fruit Snacks and opened it up.

"What are you doing?" demanded Saeki.

"I'm having some Fruit Snacks." Ryoma answered.

"This late?" Saeki said.

"Yeah." Said Ryoma. "So?"

"It's got sugar in it." Saeki said. "It'll keep you up all night."

Ryoma didn't feel like talking to Saeki anymore so he walked away. He went into the Kids bedroom where Hiyoshi was lying down on the bottom bunk playing with a pink Game Boy Advance.

"Where did you get that?" Ryoma inquired.

"I found it on the table." Hiyoshi replied.

Ryoma watched Hiyoshi play for a little while.

"Can I have a turn?" he asked.

"No." Hiyoshi answered.

"Why not?" Ryoma said.

"Because I'm playing." Hiyoshi said.

Ryoma watched him play again, enviously this time. "It's pink though." Ryoma pointed out. "That means it's probably mine since I'm the Sister, remember?"

"I bet there are some dolls you can play with." Hiyoshi said.

Ryoma frowned.

"You've played enough." Ryoma decided. "Let me play now."

"No." Hiyoshi said plainly. "You only want to play with it because I am."

Ryoma sighed and, although he didn't want to subject himself to this, he quickly realized that this was the only way to get his way. So he went through the kitchen where Saeki was still cleaning up and into the living room area where Sakurai was watching television and Yukimura was lying on the couch in a fashion reminiscent of someone who was comatose. He was probably comatose.

Ryoma took a deep breath.

"Sakurai…" he said slowly.

"Hm?" Sakurai said.

"This is very embarrassing for me but…" Ryoma stuttered a bit. "But Hiyoshi's playing with my Game Boy and won't let me have a turn."

"And?" Sakurai questioned.

"Make him let me have a turn." Ryoma spelled it out. "You're the Mom, aren't you?"

Sakurai was silent for a bit. "OH YEAH!" he said, springing up. "I've been waiting for an opportunity to do something like this all day! Get out of the way, Ryoma!"

Sakurai practically plowed Ryoma down on the way to the bedroom where Hiyoshi was innocently playing by himself, and Ryoma eagerly followed after him, filled with anticipation of getting to use the Game Boy. Saeki wanted to see what was going on so he chased after them curiously. Yukimura continued lying there like a lump.

"Hiyoshi, young man!" said Sakurai. "Let Ryoma have a turn with the Game Boy!"

Hiyoshi looked up. "Why can't he just use his own?" he said.

"My own?" Ryoma repeated.

"Yeah…there's another one over there." Hiyoshi pointed at a blue Game Boy Advance that was sitting on a dresser that was in the room.

"Why didn't you say that?" Ryoma demanded.

"I thought it was obvious." Hiyoshi shrugged as he went back to his game.

Ryoma looked at the blue one in his hand. "Out of curiosity, if you knew there were two, why did you take the pink one?" he said.

Hiyoshi didn't answer for a few seconds. "I like pink." He said finally.


	7. In Which Strategy is Discussed

**We sort of messed up and submitted the wrong chapter. This is the chapter you were supposed to get today. Sorry about that...and for all the confusion.**

Team Five  
Itsuki, Oishi, Shishido and Sengoku were all sitting around the kitchen table staring at the clam box that was sitting in the middle of the table. It was kind of pointless to have a clam box, especially since it was made out of wood and ESPECIALLY because it's not like it was made well.

"WHY did you make a clam box?" Shishido demanded finally. "All the other teams made something that was useful to have around the house!"

"I didn't know that we were going to bring them back to the house!" said Itsuki, looking sad.

"You could have made ANYTHING else." Said Sengoku. "You could have seriously made an assortment of modern art that would have been more useful than this piece of junk."

Oishi suddenly stood up and looked very authoritative. "That's it, you two!" he said as Itsuki looked like he was about to cry. "That is no way to speak to your father!"

"Yeah!" whined Itsuki.

"Now I want you both to apologize to him right now!" Oishi commanded.

Shishido and Sengoku didn't move.

"If you don't apologize then you're going to bed right now and there will be no television tomorrow." Oishi said.

Still, they didn't move.

"And no video games or any electronics at all." Oishi added.

Shishido and Sengoku groaned.

"Fine…" they said. "Sorry…"

"Thank you." Said Oishi pleasantly as he sat back down. "I happen to think it's a very nice clam box."

"Um…thanks." Said Itsuki.

No one really said anything for a little while. As they nodded, nearly napping, suddenly there came a tapping as if someone was gently rapping, rapping at their chamber door.

Or actually, it was the window.

They looked out the window to see Kamio looking very depressed as he looked at them from the outside in.

"You know…" said Shishido. "It was funny at first because he's a second year and all, but now I kind of feel bad."

"Yeah, it's pretty dark out." Sengoku agreed.

"Well too bad." Said Oishi. "Kamio is an outside pet."

"Kamio's not a pet at all." Shishido made sure to point out.

"Yes he is." Said Oishi. "You two begged me and begged me to get a pet and we finally got one and now you don't want to take responsibility for him and I'm at my wit's end!"

"Oishi, seriously, that never happened." Shishido reminded him.

Oishi groaned. "You guys," he said, looking totally serious. "I have been alone doing this thing all day. You have to help me out and play along too because this is just getting ridiculous."

"You realize you're making Kamio sleep outside, right?" said Itsuki.

"It has to be realistic!" said Oishi.

"Can't he be an inside pet?" Itsuki tried.

"No!" said Oishi. "Because I've already decided that he's an outside pet and it wouldn't be realistic if we just suddenly changed it half way through! I bet all the OTHER families are already completely in sync with each other by now. You guys wouldn't even eat my pie."

"By the time we brought it home, it was already cold!" said Shishido. And it was gross. But they didn't have to say that.

"Whatever!" said Oishi. "I just have to get some sleep!"

Oishi took off his apron and retreated to the bedroom.

"Let's let Kamio in really quietly…" said Shishido.

"AND DON'T LET KAMIO IN!" came Oishi's voice from the other room.

Team Six  
Oshitari was standing in the kitchen listening to the sound of his four extremely ill family members that were all quarantined in the Parents room. 

FLASHBACK!

_"All right, I made the chicken stir fry with the recipe Ootori gave me at the competition, but I don't think I did it right…" Oshitari said as he put the plate down in the middle of the table._

"_Of course you didn't do it right." Said Akutsu._

"_Yeah, but after missing lunch, I'm starving." Said Ryou._

"_And we need our energy so we can perform better during the challenges." Atsushi said. "Even though I won MY challenge."_

"_And besides, anything will taste better than your cancerwiches that you gave us at lunch." Kaidou said._

_Oshitari wasn't going to eat anything, so he just watched the four of them start to eat._

END FLASHBACK!

And now here he was. Standing by himself as he listened to the other four moan in the other room.

Oshitari looked over the instructions and wondered where he had gone wrong.

There were two particular parts that he was sure he messed up on. First of all, he was almost certain that he hadn't cooked the chicken for long enough. After all, the directions told him to cook it for at least twenty minutes, but as the other four chanted from the kitchen, "WE WANT FOOD! WE WANT FOOD!" Oshitari got pretty fed up pretty fast.

So he cranked up the temperature and cooked it for about two minutes instead. He was hoping for the same effect and wasn't quite sure if it was okay that the chicken was still all floppy and peach colored.

The second part he knew he messed up was the last ingredient. Choutarou had scribbled in a little heart and wrote "love" next to it, insisting that it was the most important ingredient of all.

Oshitari was a little frustrated with the presence of his ungrateful family throughout the entire five minutes it took him to cook the meal so almost no love went into the preparation.

He realized that these two factors probably caused the sickness among the unsuspecting people in his family. He guessed that, even though he was the Mom, he probably wouldn't be doing much cooking anymore.

But there was still the problem that he was hungry.

He decided that he would make himself some toast so he put some bread in the slots and waited. He also grabbed a juice box. He had some good times with his food that he made all for himself. He WOULD have called the others in from their quarantine but…

1) they were sick and probably didn't want to eat,

2) it's likely they would never eat his food again after getting so sick even if it was only toast,

3) he didn't want to have to make more toast for them, and

4) he didn't want to get sick from them.

So Oshitari was chillin' like ice cream fillin' by himself in the kitchen as he ate his toast. He would have probably liked some company. But then again, probably not. He would have DEFINITELY wanted that special prize, whatever it was. Even though he didn't know what it was, he still wanted it just because it was special.

He knew he wouldn't win the individual prize, too, just because he performed so horribly in the competition. That made him angst a little bit before he got over it since he didn't care all THAT much.

Whence he finished his toast, he cleaned off his plate and put it in the dishwasher. He wiped his hands with a dishtowel and went into the Kids room where the bunk bed was and took his place on the bottom. As he stared at the bottom of the bed above him, he had a revelation.

He was glad that the others were sick, though.

Because now he got to have his own room.

Team Seven  
Tetsu would agree to the statement that Inui and Renji had spent all their time sitting out on the porch talking to each other and only each other. He would also agree that Sanada had retired to bed early. And it was impossible to disagree with the fact that Jirou had retired to bed VERY early. 

So now he was once again by himself. He was beating Mario 64, as he had been doing all that day.

He was already at his SECOND race with Koopa the Quick, in which that silly rascal actually presents a bit of a challenge. He strived and strived and strived, and with practice, eventually Tetsu reached the finish line before that crazy Koopa.

He was so excited with himself that he wanted to share his joy with someone.

But Renji and Inui were still chatting, and he knew that they wouldn't care. And they would probably make him feel stupid about being proud about his accomplishments, and no doubt they would write it in their little journals so they would never forget it and bring it up later just to embarrass him.

Sanada was sleeping and he could only imagine his rage if he were to wake him up to tell him something that seems trivial to a sleeping person, but is awesome to someone who has been playing Mario 64 all day and has tried like four times to beat Koopa the Quick.

And then there was Jirou. We won't even go there.

So Tetsu sighed and moved onto the next level. He was just going to play video games until he got too tired to play anymore. He wished Tachibana were on his team. He knew Tachibana would care about Koopa the Quick.

"Oh my god!" came a voice behind him. And when I say 'behind him' I mean RIGHT BEHIND HIM. As in the person is practically leaning his head on Tetsu's shoulder.

Tetsu jumped like six feet up into the air and turned around to see Jirou standing there looking SO excited.

"You're playing Mario 64?" said Jirou. "I LOVE Mario 64! It's practically the best game in the whole world!"

"Um…okay." Said Tetsu slowly, returning to his seat.

"OH MY GOD!" Jirou screamed. "Did you seriously just beat Koopa the Quick the second time around?"

"I did…!" said Tetsu, wanting to be excited about it but now he was a little freaked out so it didn't feel as wonderful.

"OH my god, even though I love this game so much, I am SO bad at it." Said Jirou. "I can't beat Koopa the Quick in the first level because I always end up falling off the cliff because I get way too excited, is that weird or am I weird or what do you think?"

"Um…I don't know…?" Tetsu said.

"Can I have a go?" Jirou asked, holding out his hands.

"This is kind of one of the later levels and if you're as bad as you say you are then maybe you should just start your own game or something…" Tetsu offered.

"No, no, no!" said Jirou. "If the competition is higher, I bet I'll step up my game! Let me start, it'll be great, really!"

"Okay, I guess." Said Tetsu, handing him the controller.

"HEY!" came Sanada's angry voice as he poked his head around the corner. "Could you two SHUT UP or something? I'm trying to sleep!"

"SORRY!" said Jirou. "We'll try to keep it down!"

"You better!" said Sanada threateningly. "Why do you have to wake up NOW? It's time to go to sleep…"

Sanada continued muttering to himself as he went back into the bedroom.

Inui and Renji came inside from being out on the porch.

"What's with all the yelling?" Renji asked.

"Sanada came out and threw a temper tantrum." Jirou answered as he button mashed at a time in which it definitely wasn't necessary.

"Oh." said Renji. He looked at Inui who was just standing there like a tree.

"Well, I'm sleeping on that couch tonight and I want to go to bed right now so you two have to stop playing." Inui said.

"WHAT?" yelled Jirou. "I was just starting to have fun! Awwww maaaaan!" Jirou gave up way to fast. "I've been sleeping all day though!"

"Who's fault is that?" Renji said. "Let's all go to bed now. Tomorrow we find out who won the individual challenge and if I win then I promise I'll share."

The rest of them agreed to that as well, and then they separated to go to bed. Tetsu was sad because people finally started paying attention to him ONLY when it was time for bed. OH WELL! SUCH IS LIFE!

Team Eight  
"Let's reflect a bit on what we could have done better in the competition today in order to win." Yuuta suggested as the family all sat in the living room. Since Yuuta had made a bench that sits two people in the challenge that day, everyone had a place to sit! 

"I guess that's my cue to leave." Said Atobe as he got up and swept away.

Everyone sat there silently for a few seconds before Bane and Jackal jumped to their feet and made dives for the comfy chair Atobe had been occupying. They were the ones who were on the bench and they weren't going to lie that they envied Atobe's ability to bully everyone else out of the comfy chair.

In the end, they both ended up sharing the chair so it was much less comfortable than the bench, but at that point it was the principle.

"Okay, so you go first." Said Shinji to Yuuta.

"Oh." said Yuuta. "Um…well, I happen to think my bench was pretty good."

"I thought we were supposed to be reflecting on what we could have done better in the competition, not senselessly compliment ourselves." Shinji said.

Yuuta crossed his arms childishly. "Fine." He said. "I probably could have spent more time sanding the seat, and I think one of the legs is slightly shorter than the other so it's lopsided."

"I noticed that." Bane said. "I think I was on the shorter end."

"It's not THAT dramatic of a drop!" said Yuuta, sounding offended.

"Oh." said Bane, avoiding eye contact. "Well…maybe there's a hole in the floor or something…"

"Okay, you know what?" said Yuuta, standing up. "The whole reason I brought this up was because all of you failed to even complete your particular part in the competition so I wanted to talk about THAT. My bench is FINE!"

"I WOULD have competed if Jackal wasn't bald!" argued Bane.

"And I WOULD have competed if Tezuka hadn't blown up my game controller with the Tezuka Zone!" Jackal added.

"I can't cook so I knew competing was pointless." Shinji finished. "But Atobe has no excuse."

"That's right!" said Yuuta, looking determined as if he was going to run over to Atobe and give him a piece of his mind. But then he got discouraged and sank back into the couch. "Never mind…"

"Come on, Yuuta." Said Jackal. "If YOU don't stand up to him as the Dad of this family, then no one will."

"Yeah…" Yuuta sighed.

"So much for that." Shrugged Bane.

Shinji looked up at the clock. "Wow, it's late." He commented. "Do you all want to call it a night?"

"That's a good idea." Yuuta agreed, standing up and yawning.

The Siblings struggled to get up since they were wedged to tightly in the seat, and then they yawned as well. Shinji didn't want to be left out so he stood up and yawned as well.

They went to the bedrooms and Jackal and Bane went into the Kids room.

Shinji opened the door to the Parents room and nearly had a heart attack when he saw what was in there. Yuuta looked over his arm and squeezed past.

Atobe was propped up on the bed in a silk bathrobe. He held a wine glass (that had Kool-Aid in it of course) daintily in one hand and looked at the other two questioningly as if their presence was out of line.

"What?" Atobe said plainly in response to their expressions of mixed shock and anger.

"This is OUR room." Said Yuuta. "You're supposed to sleep in the doghouse. Or on the couch if you must."

Atobe didn't move for a few seconds. "What, are you gay?" he said finally.

"HEY!" yelled Yuuta and Shinji.


	8. In Which Everything Changes

**Hear ye, hear ye! If you didn't read the revised chapter 7 then I strongly suggest that you do! Because it's not just revised, it's a totally different chapter! That is all.**

Morning Two  
Team One  
Taka always wakes up early. It's just something that Taka does.

Slowly but surely, he opened his eyes to see Fuji's smiling face about two inches away from his.

"Good morning Taka." Said Fuji pleasantly. "Did you sleep well?"

Taka flailed foolishly for a little bit and then proceeded to tumble off the bed, dragging all the blankets down with him, and landing in a heap on the floor. Fuji looked over the edge of the bed with a quizzical expression.

"Sorry…you surprised me…" said Taka, taking a few hoot breaths.

"That's okay." Said Fuji, looking EVER so pleasant.

Taka got up, brushed himself off and then walked innocently into the kitchen where Mizuki was sitting with a cup of coffee in his hand.

"Wow, you get up even earlier than me!" said Taka.

"I don't think Mizuki ever went to sleep." Said Fuji, appearing behind Taka.

"For your information, I DID!" said Mizuki, but he looked SO disheveled that it was quiet apparent to EVERYONE that he hadn't gone into the Kids room. And it became even more apparent when Kirihara came out of the Kids room looking ever so refreshed.

"Mizuki, I'm glad you didn't use your bed tonight so I had someplace to sleep." Said Kirihara as it became SO apparent that it was pretty much a fact.

Then Yana came out of the Kids room as well. "Hey Mizuki, how come you didn't go to sleep last night?" he asked. So now it WAS a fact that Mizuki did NOT go to sleep that night.

"Yes, Mizuki, why don't you tell us?" said Fuji as he instantaneously switched from Pleasant Creepy Fuji to Scary Creepy Fuji. Meaning, yes, his eyes DID open. OH DEAR!

"I DON'T WANT TO!" Mizuki said as he turned around in his chair and chugged some more coffee.

If Fuji had decided to be diabolical, he might have exploded his laugh for everyone to hear, but instead he became pleasant again and kept his laugh toned down to a mere chuckle.

"Has anyone checked the mail yet?" Taka said, trying to start some NORMAL conversation.

No one said anything so Taka frolicked off outside and retrieved the mail from the mailbox. There was a single letter in the mailbox. It was addressed to…AH! WOW! _Kawamura Takashi!_

"For me?" Taka exclaimed excitedly as he ran back in the house where no one had moved a single inch. I guess what they say is true about time standing still when you're not in the room. "We got some mail today! And it's addressed to me and it says 'very important'!"

"Well open it then." Said Kirihara.

"Okay!" said Taka as he took the letter from the pile and tore it open. "It says, _Congratulations! You performed excellently in the challenge yesterday! SO excellently, that we have decided to award YOU with the prize of being the individual winner for your team! For your prize, you get to rearrange the members of your family so you can assign a new Dad, Mom, Sister, Brother and Pet! Or, if you so desire, keep everything the way it is! It's your call and whatever you say goes! Enjoy your day and don't forget to keep checking your mail!"_

Taka looked up from the letter and another tumbleweed blew by. It sure is drafty in their house.

"Wow…" said Taka. "This is a huge responsibility. I was kind of hoping I'd just get… candy… or money or something…"

"I was hoping you'd get candy too so you could share it with me." Yana admitted.

"What do I do…?" Taka said hopelessly.

"I don't know…you should just keep everything the way it is." Said Fuji, putting his hand tenderly on Taka's shoulder. "I think we're all happy this way."

"Um…" Taka said slowly. "Actually… I think I AM going to make some changes…first off…" Taka looked around nervously. "I want to be the Dad!"

Everyone gasped. Then they wondered who Taka would pick for his Wife.

"And uh…um…" he looked down the line about ten times of who he would share a bed with. "Uh…um…Yana! You're the Mom now!"

"Um…" said Yana.

"Taka!" said Fuji, sounding dejected.

"Fuji, you can be the Brother." Taka offered. But Fuji did not look happy.

"And I don't want to be the pet anymore!" Kirihara enunciated.

"Fine, you can be the Sister." Taka said.

"YES!" said Kirihara, but then he stopped. "Hey…"

"But I don't want to be the Pet!" yelled Mizuki but then he did a face plant on to the table and started snoring.

Taka gave a heavy sigh. "Okay…so that's the way things are now."

But now Taka was stressed so he ran away as fast as he could.

Team Two  
Momo awakened alone so he knew right away that Choutarou was up. There was also the sound of pans being utilized in the kitchen, so he knew doubly sure that Choutarou was up AND MAKING BREAKFAST.

He went into the kitchen and sure enough, Choutarou was up and making breakfast. SCORE!

"I swear, Ootori, you are the best Mom there is." Momo said, sitting down at the table.

"Really?" said Choutarou, beaming, but there was sadness in his eyes.

"What's wrong?" Momo said, but he regretted asking a second later.

"Oh…" sighed Choutarou. "It's just…I worry about Shishido. I hope he's making friends and the others in his family aren't treating him badly. He's kind of small, you know, and people pick on him sometimes…"

"Kind of small?" Momo repeated. "He's bigger than me."

"Well, you're kind of small too…" Choutarou said.

"What?" demanded Momo. "Maybe to YOU! But that's what happens when you're freakishly tall."

Choutarou spun around and looked SO HURT.

"Um…I'm sorry…" said Momo, instantly feeling bad.

"It's all right…" Choutarou said. "Still…I worry about Shishido…"

"Oh geez…" Momo slapped his forehead just as the front door flung open and Eiji came trotting into the kitchen holding an envelope.

"Mail's here!" Eiji declared proudly as he struck a pose as if there was a crowd to cheer for him.

Just when Choutarou and Momo were definitely about to break into the 'Mail Time' song, Gakuto and Marui poked their heads out of the Kids room while rubbing their eyes tiredly.

"What's everyone yelling about?" Marui complained.

"The mail's here!" said Eiji.

"It's for me, I bet, since I'm the Dad!" said Momo proudly as he reached out his hand to receive the envelope.

Eiji pretended to hand it over to him but then suavely spun around and handed it to Choutarou.

"Actually, it's for Ootori!" he said.

"For me?" Choutarou said excitedly.

"Why him?" Gakuto said, sounding slightly offended as he and Marui came over to see what the letter said.

"Wow, I hardly EVER get letters!" Choutarou said. "Are you sure no one else got a letter, Eiji?"

"Positive!" said Eiji. "You're the only one!"

"Then it must be from Shishido!" Choutarou exclaimed as he tore open the letter like a buzz saw. He gave the letter a once over and then frowned slightly.

"Let me guess…it's not from Shishido." Said Momo.

"Or Shishido just has bad news." Marui shrugged.

"It's not from Shishido at all." Choutarou said, looking sad as he went to appointed angsting window.

"Well, what's it say?" Gakuto took the letter and read it out loud. They all waited for Choutarou to do something like switch the family around.

"Well?" Momo said.

"What?" Choutarou said.

"The letter said you should switch the family around." Said Eiji.

"Oh I don't care." Said Choutarou.

"Could you make me the Dad?" Gakuto asked.

"Fine." Said Choutarou apathetically.

"WHAT?" demanded Momo. "No! I'm still the Dad!"

"Not anymore!" laughed Gakuto.

"Any other changes, Ootori?" Marui asked.

"No, I don't really care." Sighed Choutarou as he walked away and closed to the door to the Parents room. He was extra sad because he was hyped up to hear from Shishido only to be horribly disappointed.

"I guess that means YOU'RE the Sister, Momo." Said Gakuto with an evil grin. "Now that I'M the Dad!"

"No way!" argued Momo.

"What Ootori says goes!" said Gakuto. "And now that the change is final, I am officially the king of this castle, right? And I say that this chair—" he bent down and picked up Momo's failure chair. "GOES!" Gakuto laughed diabolically as Marui opened the window and Gakuto tossed it out.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Momo yelled, dropping to his knees. "OOTORI! YOU HAVE FORSAKEN ME!"

Team Three  
"Hm…interesting…" Tezuka muttered to himself in the still of the morning as he sat in the living room.

Specifically, he was in the comfy chair, and slowly he rose to his feet while holding a piece of paper out in front of him.

"Even though I have been given this opportunity, I can't let my guard down." Tezuka said as he adjusted his glasses. "I must…" he paused and looked around the empty room. "CALL A FAMILY MEETING."

Tezuka raised his hand high in the air and stood there silently and totally immobile in the middle of the floor.

He stayed like that for a short while before Aoi came strolling in innocently as if he didn't have a care in the world. He stopped when he saw Tezuka standing there in his pose and then gasped.

"No wonder!" Aoi exclaimed. "I couldn't figure out why I was randomly compelled to come into this room but now I know…the Tezuka Zone!"

Just then, Tachibana came running in. "What's going on?" he said enthusiastically. "My instincts suddenly told me to come to this spot!"

"Oh good!" said David as he came in as well. "Am I not the only one who couldn't help but come in here just now?"

"Yes." Said Kabaji as he walked in the back door.

"Good." Said Tezuka as he slowly lowered himself back into his chair and everyone came closer to him. "I needed to call a family meeting and I have a slight emotion that seems like gladness that you all responded positively to my summoning."

"Hey!" said Tachibana, pointing at him dramatically. "The only person who has the authority to call a family meeting is the Dad. ME!"

Tezuka looked at Tachibana vaguely. "Ironically enough, that is precisely why I decided to call this family meeting."

He waved the letter in Tachibana's face, and Tachibana tore it away from him.

Slowly, he read the words over.

"Impossible!" said Tachibana. "YOU are the individual winner from yesterday? You didn't even have to do anything to win!"

"You have to admit…" Aoi said. "Using telepathy to blow up everyone else's video game controllers is pretty cool."

"It was the Tezuka Zone." Tezuka corrected.

"Those coaches just have something against me…" Tachibana said angrily.

"Nevertheless." Tezuka stood up. "There are going to be some changes in this household. First of all, I am now the Dad."

"Man…" said Tachibana, kicking the air.

"Second," Tezuka continued as the rest of the family cowered in fear. He walked away from them and looked off in the distance. "I happened to overhear a comment one of my Seigaku teammates made at the competition yesterday and I have been considering his words. He said…" Tezuka looked back at them. "_That team has too many captains on it._"

"Yeah…so?" said David.

"Meaning…" Tezuka went on. "I agree. This team needs only one captain to be its pillar. That pillar will be me."

"You can't change the fact that we're captains." Tachibana pointed out.

"No," Tezuka agreed regrettably. "But I can put you in positions of less power and then continue to be the individual victor so everything may remain that way."

"You're CRAZY!" yelled Tachibana.

"Tachibana, you will now be the Pet." Tezuka ordered.

"NO!" Tachibana said.

"Aoi, you will remain the Sister." Tezuka continued.

"Too cruel!" exclaimed Aoi.

"David, you stay Mom since I don't really care about you." Tezuka went on.

"…Okay…" said David.

"Kabaji, that leaves you as the Brother." Tezuka finished.

"Yes." Said Kabaji.

Aoi and Tachibana both burst into tears and ran out of the room while sobbing pathetically. Slowly, David backed away from Tezuka as he stood there looking proud of himself. Finally, Kabaji approached Tezuka.

"What do you want?" said Tezuka.

"Yes," said Kabaji as he bowed to Tezuka.

Team Four  
"It's official!" Saeki yelled as he walked into the living room and crossed his arms childishly. "There is NOTHING to do in this whole house!" 

He took a second to look at Ryoma and Hiyoshi who were both sitting at the edge of the couch and engaged in mortal video game combat. It was an intense game and neither of them could be bothered with paying attention to Saeki. Sakurai was sitting in the comfy chair while cheering and also saying every ten seconds that he got to play the winner. Yukimura was lying on the floor in a bed that had been made for him to accommodate his sickliness.

Saeki tapped his foot a few times in vain hope that that would get their attention, but when that did not work, he started to clear his throat.

Finally, Ryoma paused the game and everyone simultaneously turned their heads to look at him.

"There's nothing to do." Saeki said.

They all raised their eyebrows at the same time.

"Okay…whatever…" said Saeki as everyone went back to playing the video game.

"Oh right, Saeki!" called Sakurai as he jumped to his feet and ran over to Saeki. "We got mail today, and it's addressed to you."

"Really!" said Saeki. "Who's it from?"

"I don't know." Shrugged Sakurai. "Probably our coaches."

With that, he ran over to watch the game some more and maybe eventually get a turn.

Even though Saeki would have preferred that everyone gloriously pay attention to him while he opened and read the letter, he obviously was going to receive that much respect.

Instead he stood by himself and opened the letter. He read it to himself and gasped out loud.

"Everyone, everyone!" he said excitedly. "Listen up!"

No one paid attention to him AGAIN.

He pouted.

"Fine, I'll just keep all this to myself then." He said, trying reverse psychology.

Still, that didn't work.

"HEY!" he yelled, flickering the lights on and off. "LISTEN TO ME!"

This finally got their attention. They turned around and waited. Saeki cleared his throat and read the letter to them.

The reaction among the family was generally just this: "…"

"So?" said Ryoma. "You can switch the family around. It's not like it matters."

"Yeah, we're not really going along with that anyway." Hiyoshi agreed.

"Oh yeah?" said Saeki, knowing that this was true and wanting to do whatever he could to change that so he didn't seem as foolish. "Well…that's going to be different from now on! After I mix up the family!"

"Okay, go ahead." Said Hiyoshi arbitrarily.

"Allllll riiight…" Saeki clapped his hands together. "This is my reward for doing an awesome job at building that end table! So…I'm going to stay the Dad!"

"Things don't seem so different yet." Ryoma sighed.

"HA!" said Saeki. "Just for that, you're going to be the Pet from now on!" said Saeki. "First years should know their place!"

"…Okay." Said Ryoma with a shrug. "I'm still better than you at tennis."

Saeki fumed. "That was uncalled for!" he said. "Yukimura is going to take your job and be the Brother from now on!"

"I'm the Brother." Hiyoshi said. "Ryoma was the Sister."

"I knew that!" said Saeki even though it wasn't true. "I'm just making YOU the Sister now!"

"Oh." said Hiyoshi.

"So I'm still the Mom?" Sakurai asked.

"Um…" Saeki worked it out in his head. "Yeah…I guess so…"

Everyone looked at each other.

"I get to play in the next game!" Saeki announced as he jumped on the armrest of the couch.

"No way, I'M next!" Sakurai argued.


	9. In Which Things Continue to Change

Team Five  
Kamio was sitting on the front porch looking absolutely spent. No one had come to let him inside last night like they had promised they would. So, yes, he had spent the night outside. 

At first he figured he would be like camping, but quickly he found that it was not. It was cold, it was hard, it was uncomfortable, it was… lonely.

He had seen a coach run by and drop off some mail a little earlier. The coach waved to him, but he did not wave back because it was partially his fault that he had to sleep outside. Only now had he finally decided it was time to see what was in the mailbox.

He trudged over, opened up the box and discovered that the letter was addressed to HIM! He ripped it open and almost risked ripping the contents in half but thankfully that did not happen.

He must have been in the rhythm while he was reading or something because it took him like two seconds.

"ME?" Kamio yelled. "ME! I WON! I WON THE INDIVIDUAL CHALLENGE! I GET TO CHANGE THE FAMILY AROUND!"

He ran up to the door and went to fling it open to announce his victory to his family and tell them their new assignments when he remembered the door was locked. He pounded on it but by this time, the family had learned to ignore him.

So he started running around the house and checking all the windows but they were all, of course, locked as well. He finally came up to the window in the kitchen where the family was all sitting and pressed his face against it, pounding on the glass.

The family looked over at him.

"When is he going to learn…" Oishi shook his head.

"Wait, I think he's holding something…" Shishido went over to the window and peered at Kamio as he pressed the letter up against the glass as well.

Shishido read it carefully and then looked back at the rest of family.

"I think we should let him in…" he said.

After Shishido explained, the others agreed that letting him in was essential. So Kamio was promptly allowed back into the house.

"YES!" Kamio dropped to his knees and kissed the hardwood floor. "I'm back in the rhythm!" Then he paused. "I mean…the house…"

He looked slightly embarrassed because everyone was a third year around him and he had just acted silly.

So he cleared his throat and stood up.

"I suppose I should tell you what my new plans are for this family." Kamio said slyly.

"Yeah…" said the others half-heartedly.

"All right, this is the beginning of my long list of changes." Kamio started pacing in front of the family that was all lined up in a row. "I am now the Dad." Pause. "OISHI!"

Oishi winced.

"You are now the PET!" he announced. "The…OUTSIDE PET!"

"But I make such a good Mom!" whined Oishi.

"Next up!" Kamio continued. Pause. "Well, I don't really care about the rest of you. Itsuki…you can be the Brother… Shishido… the Mom and Sengoku, you can be whatever's left."

"HA!" said Shishido, pointing. "YOU'RE the Sister now!"

"Yeah well…you're the Mom, have you noticed?" Sengoku retorted.

"Lame!" Shishido cursed.

"That's enough!" said Kamio. "As the Dad in this household, I order our outside Pet to go where he belongs." Kamio grabbed the door, opened it and then pointed dramatically outside.

"Aw man…" Oishi said sadly as he took off his apron and handed it to Shishido.

"I'm not wearing this." Said Shishido as he dropped it.

"Good bye." Oishi said to the family as he stood right outside the door. "I enjoyed being your Mother."

He clenched his fist dramatically as Kamio slammed the door.

"YES!" cheered Kamio with an over enthusiastic arm motion. "I am SO taking a shower!" He ran into the bathroom and then all was silent.

Team Six  
"Well of COURSE I would win because I am SOOO amazing!" Atsushi said as he paraded around the house while holding the sealed envelope that was addressed to him. "And FURTHERMORE—" 

"Just OPEN it already!" yelled the rest of the family.

"We're getting tired of you just parading around the house holding that sealed envelope addressed to you!" said Ryou.

"And for all you know, it's not really saying that you won." Oshitari pointed out.

"Of course it says that." Atsushi said confidently. "Who else would win?"

"What's that supposed to mean?" Kaidou demanded, standing up and getting all IN ATSUSHI'S FACE!

Atsushi cowered in fear and used the envelope to put some distance in between himself and Kaidou.

"I think what he means is that your project in the Dad competition was terrible." Akutsu stood up as well. They both towered over Atsushi. "And he thinks that I didn't give it my all in the Pet competition. And he thinks that Ryou could have done something to protect his controller in the Brother competition. And—"

He looked back at Oshitari.

"Even though his opinion is correct this time around, he believes that Oshitari's cooking is terrible." Akutsu finished.

"It's all your fault that you ate my food." Said Oshitari with a shrug.

"I never said any of that!" Atsushi put his foot down. "Except the part about Oshitari's cooking, but that's a given!"

"Open the stupid letter!" Ryou commanded.

"FINE!" said Atsushi as he opened it up. Before he could start reading it, Akutsu tore it away from him and read it out loud to everyone.

"So…the teachers happen to think that you did the best out of all of us." Kaidou crossed his arms. "And now you get to choose how the family is going to be arranged. Interesting."

"Yeah!" said Atsushi, wiping some sweat away because he was pretty sure he was going to die just then. "And I'm going to start by making SOMEONE ELSE be the Mom so we don't get sick anymore!"

He looked around and tried to figure out who would be the best cook. He knew he couldn't cook, he knew his brother couldn't, he DEFINITELY knew Oshitari couldn't, and after going back and forth between Kaidou and Akutsu, he finally just said,

"Kaidou! You're the Mom now!"

Kaidou turned around and glared at him and Atsushi flinched.

"I'm just guessing that you would be the best cook out of all of us!" Atsushi assured him.

"What makes you think something like that?" Kaidou said angrily.

"I don't know!" said Atsushi. "Process of elimination!"

"Well, what about the rest of us?" Ryou said.

Atsushi's demeanor immediately changed. "PET!" he pointed at Ryou.

"Jerk!" whined Ryou.

Atsushi chuckled cruelly. "And I certainly know that I want to be the Dad." He said.

All that remained was Oshitari and Akutsu. And they were to be assigned either the Sister or Brother. Since he feared Akutsu more than Oshitari, he gave the Brother to Akutsu.

"At least I don't have anymore responsibilities." Said Oshitari, leaning back in his seat. "You'll soon find that being one of the Parents is quite tedious."

"Just so you all know, I'm NOT cooking." Said Kaidou as he stood up and stomped all the way out of the room, leaving big Kaidou-sized footprints in the ground.

Everyone else sat in that room for a little while.

"I wish we still had a television." Atsushi said.

Atsushi, Ryou and Oshitari gave a collective glare to Akutsu who just ignored them like it was his JOB.

Team Seven  
"There is a fifty-eight percent chance that Tetsu and Jirou stayed up all last night." Said Renji to Inui as the two of them stood in the doorway of the living room.

"Fifty eight percent?" Inui repeated as he adjusted his glasses. "What gave you that number?"

"Well, Jirou and I are supposedly meant to share a bed." Renji answered. "But he did not come to bed last night."

"Considering I slept in Tetsu's bed and he never kicked me out of it, I will say that there is a ninety-five percent chance that they stayed up all night." Inui said.

"They could have slept in the living room." Renji pointed out.

"I did not take that into account." Inui admitted. "Let us compromise. I believe there is a…"

"Seventy-seven percent chance that they stayed up all night." Renji interrupted. "You were going to say that, weren't you?"

"Oh Renji." Said Inui since Renji was his best friend ever.

They went into the living room to see Jirou sleeping on the floor and Tetsu standing up from the comfy chair.

"Hm…" Renji and Inui both said at the same time.

Tetsu jumped in surprise. "Oh man." He said. "Jirou JUST fell asleep as you guys were walking in and I could finally go to bed…"

"So you two stayed up all night, then?" Renji inferred.

"Yes." Said Tetsu. "He made me!"

"How did you let him push you around?" Inui asked. "You are at least a foot taller than him. In a physical encounter, there is a one hundred percent chance that you would win."

"Yeah but…" Tetsu started. "He was just so excited and I didn't want to let him down and he's a third year and…I just wanted to be cool…"

Tetsu lowered his head with a sniff just as Sanada rounded the corner.

"What's with everyone?" he said. "Why are you all so emotional? We have mail, and it's for a certain Renji."

He handed the letter to Renji.

"Nice entrance." Inui commented.

"Thank you." Said Sanada confidently as Renji opened up the letter.

"It seems as though, out of everyone here, I performed superiorly so I get to switch our roles around." Renji said. "That's not saying much about all of your performances."

"What do you mean you get to switch our roles around?" Tetsu asked.

"I get to assign a new Dad, Mom, Sister, Brother and Pet." Renji answered.

"Oh." said Tetsu.

"I will start with the obvious." Renji began. "I will be the Dad from now on."

"Yes." Said Inui.

"What is it?" Renji asked.

"There is a one hundred percent chance that you would ask me to be the Mom, and I was accepting." Inui replied.

"Oh Inui." Said Renji since Inui was his best friend ever.

"Well where does that leave the rest of us?" Sanada asked. "What are we now? Who's the Pet?"

"Well…" Renji went on. "There is a eighty-five percent chance that Jirou would not mind sleeping on the floor, so I will assign him the Pet role. And, not to mention the fact that he was probably the worst Dad ever."

"Can I have my assignment so I can go to sleep?" Tetsu pleaded.

"Certainly." Said Renji. "You can be the Sister."

"…Why?" Tetsu asked.

Renji shrugged. "It's random."

"Random?" Inui said, sounding as baffled as he can sound, which isn't all THAT baffled sounding.

"So I'm the Brother." Sanada concluded. "How disappointing."

Inui adjusted his glasses. "Ah, I see." He said finally. "Renji, I know your reasoning for merely switching Sanada and Tetsu."

"Do you?" said Renji.

"Yes." Inui answered. "There is a one hundred and one percent chance that you have already called Team Four today to establish which role in the family Yukimura has become. You wished to assign those two in the same role so, in the inevitable event of a competition, Sanada will be there."

"Is that true?" Sanada asked.

Renji stood there silently.

"Data never lies." Inui declared.

"Actually, it really was just random." Renji admitted.

"Oh." said Inui. "Never mind then."

Team Eight  
Yuuta awoke from his slumber on the couch early the next morning. He looked over at Shinji who was already standing (after sleeping on the comfy chair that apparently isn't as comfy to sleep on) because he had been awakened by the very same thing. 

The door to the Kids room opened slowly and Bane and Jackal both stepped out. All four family members moved towards the bathroom.

Atobe's extremely loud bellows from the shower could probably be heard from miles away as he sang about how wonderful he was, and how he wanted everyone to be drunk just by being in his presence.

"Seriously?" Bane said to the other three.

"This is outrageous." Said Jackal, punching his fist into his palm.

"We have to do something about him…" Shinji agreed.

"What can we do?" Yuuta sighed.

Just then, the door opened up and all the steam from the bathroom shot out into their faces and nearly knocked them over. Atobe stopped his singing and as they looked up, he was standing there in a towel that was probably just a little too small for everyone to be comfortable with.

He looked down at them and then put his hand up in front of his face in ONLY the way he can. Then he proceeded to walk backwards all the way to the Parent's room while pointing at them.

Then, as the door closed, he immediately started singing again. And it's not like he was being quiet at all or anything.

"He's very strange." Shinji decided finally.

"You think so?" Bane said sarcastically.

"Yes, I do." Shinji replied.

The family got up off their arses and decided that since they were already awake, they might as well have breakfast. While they were all pouring themselves some cereal, Atobe entered in the most expensive looking outfit EVER.

They all stared at him in mid-pour.

"Good morning." He said.

"Atobe, we have to have a chat about something—" Yuuta began but Atobe put his hand up to stop him.

"Wait." He said. "This morning you received a letter. I took the liberty of opening and reading it for you, however."

Atobe handed Yuuta a piece of paper and a ripped open envelope.

"You can't open and read my mail!" Yuuta said angrily as he read it over. "Ha! I get to switch the teams around because I did the best out of everyone in the challenge! Well, from now on Atobe, you're—" But then Yuuta realized that Atobe was already the Pet. "Then… from now on I'M—" But then Yuuta realized that he was already the Dad.

So now Yuuta was sad as Atobe just stood there looking hilariously overconfident for no reason.

"Well…" Yuuta said, looking at the other three. "Does anyone have any preferences?"

"Could I be the Dad?" Shinji asked.

"No, I'M the Dad." Yuuta said.

"Then whatever." Shinji said.

Bane and Jackal agreed with the 'whatever' statement.

"So…I guess there's no change." Yuuta said with an exasperated sigh.

"I guess so." Atobe said, continuing to look confident as if he had done anything. "Now someone make me an omelet."

When he didn't get an immediate response, he raised one hand and snapped his fingers, and continued to wait.

The only response he got from that gesture was the rest of his family picking up their bowls and retreating to another room. Atobe looked disappointed, but then spotted the Lucky Charms and figured he'd just pour himself a bowl if no one was going to make him an omelet.

"Ah, what's this?" Atobe said as he pulled out the plastic toy that was inside. "It seems as though _I _got the Secret Decoder Ring this time."

The others weren't going to admit it, but that got them sad since they had all been striving for the decoder ring. That's why they were eating the Lucky Charms in the first place. DAMN YOU ATOBE!


	10. In Which Everyone Recieves a Task

**SO ANYWAY FOLKS. A few of you may remember this chapter. This is the one we accidentally submitted like two weeks ago. If you read it already...sorry. If you haven't read it already then you're in luck because you have something new to read.**

Day Two  
Team One  
"Hey guys…" said Taka as he opened the back door and walked in on Yana, Fuji and Kirihara all sitting silently in the living room.

They all looked up at him.

"Oh no." said Taka as he stumbled backwards. "You killed Mizuki, cut him up into little pieces and buried him in the wall, didn't you?"

The other three looked at each other.

"No…" said Yana slowly.

"He was tired, so he went to bed." Kirihara answered. "Even though he's the Pet, we let him sleep in the Parent's Room."

"Oh." said Taka with a sigh of relief. "You know, I really thought you guys might have actually…"

He trailed off when he looked at Fuji smiling pleasantly.

"Oh God you DID kill him!" Taka gasped.

"No, we didn't kill him, Taka." Said Yana, standing up. "He's just sleeping in the other room."

"Are you sure?" Taka asked, looking at Fuji out of the corner of his eye.

"We're positive." Said Yana. "Fuji has been here the entire time."

Fuji leaned back in the comfy chair, picked up a Vogue Magazine and crossed his legs.

"Okay." Said Taka as he took a deep breath.

"So, weren't you going to say something as you came in?" Kirihara asked.

"That's right!" said Taka. "I almost forgot! Did you guys notice those things that were on the back porch?" The others looked at him questioningly. "Well, I guess not."

They got up and went out onto the back porch to discover five boxes sitting there innocently. They were all the same size and color, and the only distinction from one to the next was the fact that they had different letters on them: D, M, B, S and P.

"Let's see…" said Taka, picking up the one labeled 'S' and handing it to Fuji. "S for Shuusuke."

"Oh." said Fuji with a nod as he took the box.

"No!" said Kirihara as he hit Taka over the head. He WOULD have hit Fuji too if not for the fact that… you know… he's Fuji. "It's S for Sister. And D for Dad and M for Mom and so on."

"Aha…" said everyone else.

"Then I guess this one is yours… Sister." Fuji handed the box to Kirihara.

"Yeah, I guess it is." Kirihara took the box.

"And by the way," Fuji went on. "Don't hit Taka again."

Kirihara took a few steps away from Fuji and then opened up the box as everyone else took the box that belonged to him.

"We'll give this one to Mizuki when he wakes up." Yana said, gesturing to the one with a P on it.

Taka reached into the box and pulled out an empty tool belt. On one of the pockets, the word 'Dad' was lovingly embroidered. "Look!" he exclaimed. "I get to wear a tool belt!" He also noticed an envelope in one of the pockets that he hadn't seen before. '_Read Alone' _was written on the front. "Hm…mysterious. What did you guys get?"

Yana pulled out a pink apron with 'Mom' written on the front. "I should have seen that coming." He pouted. There was also an envelope in one of the pockets.

"I hope we're not expected to wear these." Kirihara said as he pulled out an envelope with a headband wrapped around it. The headband had 'Sister' written on it, AND a big pretty bow on the top.

"My, my, my…" was all Fuji chose to contribute as he pulled out a hat with 'Brother' written on the front. And, of course, an envelope inside the hat.

Everyone silently looked at each other. Yes, there was a tumbleweed. It's practically part of the family these days.

Finally, Taka tied the tool belt around his waist. After a few seconds, Yana pulled the apron over his head and tied it in the back. Kirihara grumbled, but if Yana was going to wear the apron then he had to wear the headband; and he did. Finally, Fuji raised the hat and put it on his head, tilting it slightly to the side.

After some more silence and more tumbleweeds, they looked at the remaining box. Now they yearned to know what was inside of it.

"Let's wake up Mizuki!" said Yana as he grabbed the box and sprinted into the house. Everyone followed him eagerly.

Team Two  
"I'm so glad that I get to wear this nifty collar!" Eiji said as he happily pranced around the house showing off his collar to anyone who would look. It was a standard pet collar and a tag that said 'Pet'. 

"But I really liked this other apron…" Choutarou admitted, looking at the apron he had originally been wearing. "Though this one's nice I guess."

"I have this belt on the smallest setting but it keeps sliding down." Gakuto complained as he readjusted the tool belt.

Marui sat at the kitchen table while twirling the hat around his finger. He finally put it on backwards because he's THAT COOL. "I think I lucked out." He said to the others.

"Laaaaaaaame." Momo whined as he walked into the room where everyone else was while wearing the headband.

Everyone laughed in his face.

"Stop making fun of me!" complained Momo as he covered his face.

"This is all about karma, Momo." Said Gakuto, readjusting his tool belt. "If you hadn't insisting on keeping that annoying chair in the middle of the floor, then maybe I wouldn't have been so compelled to make you the Sister."

"What are you talking about?" said Momo. "Ootori made me the Sister."

"Oh yeah." Said Gakuto.

"I was tricked!" cried Choutarou as he buried his face in his hands.

"There, there." Said Eiji, patting Choutarou on the back. "It's okay."

"I know, I know." Said Choutarou. "It's just…I worry about Shishido…"

"This again!" said Momo, throwing his hands up in the air.

"I was in my room for an hour and a half and no one came in to comfort me!" Choutarou said. "And I just knew that if Shishido was here, he would be the first one to come and comfort me…which made me even sadder!"

"Am I thinking of a different Shishido?" Gakuto said as a giant question mark formed above his head.

"I understand how you feel, Ootori." Eiji said. "I get this feeling in my heart that Oishi is not in best spirits. "And it doesn't help that your name sounds so similar to his that every time I say it, I think of him."

"I know, I feel the same way about Oshitari." Gakuto nodded, his lip quivering slightly.

"I miss Jackal too." Nodded Marui.

"Hey, what about these envelopes we got?" Momo said randomly as he held up the envelope that said '_Read Alone'_. He was actually just trying to distract them all.

"Well, obviously they're not things we're supposed to read while other people are in the room." Gakuto said. "So let's all separate and read our envelopes."

"YES!" said the team as they all put their hands in the center and jumped up into the air like Power Rangers.

Gakuto went into the living room, Choutarou stayed in the kitchen, Momo went into the Kid's room, Marui went into the Parent's room and Eiji went into the bathroom.

"Let's see…" Eiji said, opening up the letter. "_If you are reading this out loud then stop. Make sure there are no other people around when you're reading this. If you are not the Pet then stop reading this."_

Eiji paused. He could tell this was going to be fun.

"You are the Pet, and this means you have a secret task you must complete before the challenge that will occur in a couple of hours. You cannot tell anyone that you are doing this task, and if you don't complete it then there will be dire consequences."

Eiji gasped. He could tell this was going to be REALLY fun.

"_Before the day is through, you must take something from the Dad and hide it in the backyard."_

Eiji gasped again.

"THIS IS GOING TO BE SO MUCH FUN!" he exclaimed.

Team Three  
Tezuka was literally walking around the house looking for something he could put in his tool belt. Just because he felt like it was pointless to walk around with an empty tool belt.

He walked into the Parents room where he discovered Aoi sitting on the bed reading his letter that he received with his headband, which, might I add, he was wearing and didn't seem to have that much of a problem with it.

"Hi Tezuka!" said Aoi.

Tezuka didn't say anything.

"Do you ever miss being my Brother?" Aoi asked.

Tezuka HAD to respond to that. "No." he replied.

"Oh." said Aoi sadly. "Hey, did you get your task for the day?"

"…Maybe…" Tezuka crossed his arms and leaned in the doorway.

"Well, I definitely did." Aoi looked sad. "And let me tell you this. It is seriously impossible. I mean, for anyone else, they might be able to pull it off, but there is no way I'll be able to do mine. Dire consequences, here I come."

Tezuka decided he was just going to leave Aoi there to angst.

Aoi read the paper over again, hoping that maybe he had read it wrong.

"_Before the day is through, you must convince the Brother to switch clothes with you as a form of a makeover."_

Aoi sighed. There was no way to get around it.

He stood up and looked at himself in the full-length mirror. "Yeah…" he said. "Except Kabaji probably weighs twice as much as me and he's a foot taller."

Aoi imagined a fake Kabaji standing behind him.

"Yes." Said the fake Kabaji.

"AHHHHH!" yelled Aoi. "I don't want dire consequences! I'm under so much pressure but HEY! I like it." Aoi then applied some Arrid because he was UNDA PRESHA!

He confidently took a step out into the world. He had a mission. OH he had a mission.

"KABAJI!" he shouted. "OH KABAJI!"

Aoi ran around in search of Kabaji, but he only found Tachibana sitting in the kitchen looking woeful.

"What's wrong with you?" Aoi asked.

"My task is annoying…" Tachibana admitted.

"What's your task?" Aoi asked.

"We're not supposed to tell other people what our tasks are, remember?" Tachibana reminded him.

"Oh yeah." Said Aoi. "Thanks for reminding me."

"Hey guys!" said David as he walked in duo. "Did you hear about the guy who got the left side of his body bitten off by a shark?"

Aoi and Tachibana gasped.

"That's horrible…there's no way he'd be able to play tennis like that…" Tachibana realized.

"No, no, no." said David. "He's all right now."

Then David pulled out a drum set, hit it a few times and then hit the cymbal.

Aoi and Tachibana stared at him blankly.

"He's ALL RIGHT now!" David repeated.

Tachibana and Aoi both frowned.

"So…I guess you're over your massive concussion now." Tachibana said.

"Yup." Said David with a nod.

Then Tachibana walked right up to him and slapped him.

"Don't talk to me!" Tachibana said angrily.

"Aww…" David said sadly.

Team Four  
"RYOMA!" Sakurai yelled, pounding on the door to the bathroom. "Get your little first year fanny out here right now!"

"Go away." Came Ryoma's voice from inside.

Sakurai turned around and gave Saeki and Hiyoshi an extremely flamboyant shrug.

"Okay, I think it's time to use force." Said Saeki as he pushed Sakurai out of the way. "Everyone step back. Ryoma, you brought this on yourself!"

"What are you going to do?" Ryoma called from inside.

"We're going to break the door down!" Saeki answered.

"WHAT?" Ryoma demanded.

"WHAT?" demanded the rest of the family.

"Huh?" came Yukimura's vague voice from the living room.

"Are you serious?" Hiyoshi asked.

"Of course I am!" said Saeki. "He has to come out here and wear this collar whether he wants to or not! I mean…we're all wearing OUR stuff!"

"I know." Said Hiyoshi with a glare. "Thanks for reminding me that I'm wearing a bow."

"Yeah…so anyway…" Saeki said. "Ryoma, you might as well come out because we're going to make you wear this!"

"No way!"

"Okay, you leave me no other choice!" said Saeki. "One…two…"

On THREE Saeki plowed into the door and Ryoma swung it open from the inside, which made Saeki tumble forward and crash into the wall in on the other side of the bathroom.

After staring at Saeki's potential corpse on the floor, Ryoma looked up at Hiyoshi and Sakurai.

"Get him!" they shouted.

Ryoma then vaulted over Saeki and split the defense that was the second years. He rounded the corner as they all fumbled around foolishly in the small bathroom area.

"We have to get him!" said Sakurai.

"Yeah!" cheered Saeki and Hiyoshi as they all got up and rounded the corner as well only to trip and slide around like knaves until they finally fell over in a heap. When they looked up, they discovered that Ryoma had spread laundry detergent all over the kitchen floor.

Ryoma slapped his cheeks as if he was in Home Alone (it doesn't matter which one) and then ran away from them.

"I have had enough of him…" Saeki grumbled.

"Is it really that big of a deal?" Sakurai asked.

"Look at me." Said Hiyoshi. "I am wearing a bow. It is a big deal."

"I'm wearing an apron, good point." Sakurai agreed.

As they struggled endlessly to stand up and finally got on their feet, they discovered the Yukimura was standing before them while holding Ryoma's ear. Ryoma looked perturbed, but he also looked as though he had previously attempted to escape and wasn't about to try it again.

"Yukimura!" said Sakurai. "I thought you were bedridden!"

"Oh, that only happens SOMETIMES." Said Yukimura.

"Well, good job catching Ryoma." Said Saeki as he grabbed Ryoma's arm firmly.

"Ow." Ryoma glared.

"Now you have to put on this collar." Said Saeki. "Cause you're the pet and it's only fair. All of US are wearing OUR appointed items."

"But I'm not an animal, I shouldn't have to wear a collar." Ryoma argued.

"Well, I'm not a girl and I'm wearing a bow." Hiyoshi reminded them.

Since Ryoma would not cooperate, Sakurai came over and put the collar on FOR him.

"There you go, it looks great." Said Sakurai.

"And if you don't want to wear it anymore, then you should do well in the next competition." Said Saeki. "Because I can't speak for everyone else, but as long as I get to pick who's who, you are definitely going to be the Pet."

"Here here!" cheered the rest of the family.

"You're all just jealous because I'm better at tennis than you are…" Ryoma said as he wrenched himself away from Saeki.


	11. In Which Some 2nd Years Own

Team Five  
"_Before the day is through, you must get into a heated fight with the Mom and be the first to tenderly apologize."_

Kamio gave his letter a disapproving glare as he strutted through the house like he owned the place. Ever since he had gotten back inside, he had certainly done a lot of strutting, but he was very disappointed with Oishi's nonexistent attempts to get back inside.

Nevertheless, he had to locate the Mom and get in a fight with him. Though, he couldn't quite remember who the Mom was…

He entered the kitchen where Shishido, Sengoku and Itsuki were all sitting. Well, Shishido was standing and holding a bag of chips.

"Come on, everyone." Said Shishido. "Have some chips. They look so good and so tasty. Yummies. Chips. Mmmm."

"How many times do I have to tell you?" said Sengoku, sounding frustrated. "I am so far from being hungry so stop asking!"

"I'll just wait until dinner." Itsuki shrugged.

"God damn it, just eat something!" Shishido ordered.

"Hey, which one of you is the Mom again?" Kamio asked.

Everyone was silent.

Shishido crushed the bag of chips in his hands. "The one with the apron on." He answered in a deep scary voice.

Kamio looked at Itsuki…no apron. Then he looked at Sengoku…no apron. Then he looked at Shishido.

"Oh right." He said. "You are!"

"Thanks for your arbitrary assignment." Shishido said through his teeth.

"Just think, you could have been wearing THIS." Said Sengoku, pointing at the headband.

"Whatever." Said Itsuki.

Kamio quickly realized that this was a perfect opportunity to start a fight with Shishido. And then he could 'tenderly apologize'. Whatever the hell that meant.

"It wasn't arbitrary!" said Kamio. "I put you in that position on PURPOSE so you would have to wear the apron!"

"But we found out about these things AFTER you reassigned the team." Shishido said. "Chips?"

Kamio looked at the chips he was being offered.

"Um…no thanks." Said Kamio. "But…uh…you know those tuna fish sandwiches you made for lunch? They tasted awful!"

Shishido paused and then ate a chip. "Those were ham sandwiches." He said finally.

"Well…I rest my case!" Kamio said. Then he chuckled to himself. "I bet you're real mad at me now."

"Sure…whatever." Said Shishido. "I'm mad that you're so lame, if that's what you mean."

"No, that wasn't what I meant, but that's good enough." Said Kamio as he stuck his nose up in the air and walked away.

"Um…" said the other three as they continued to be in the kitchen. And they were bonding. They had bonded before because Oishi was being kind of a psychopath, and Kamio missed out on that because he was stuck outside. Now these three were an impenetrable trio and NOTHING would get in the way of their friendship!

"I'm going to go see if Oishi wants to go on a walk but I don't want either of you to come." Said Itsuki as he stood up and walked outside.

"And I'm going to go do something that doesn't involve being in the same room as you guys." Said Sengoku as he went into the living room.

"And I'm going to look through this cookbook and try to find something to make that doesn't involve any work or either of you." Said Shishido as he flipped through the cookbook. But what he said was kind of pointless since the other two had already left. But I'm sure they would have been very hurt had they still been there. Oh yes.

Team Six  
_"Before the day is through, you must take the Pet for a walk."_

Akutsu crumpled the paper in his hand.

"RYOU!" Akutsu bellowed as he stood at the front door. "RYOU GET HERE RIGHT NOW. YOU HAVE FIVE SECONDS!"

Akutsu didn't even have to start counting down as Ryou sprinted around the corner.

"What?" Ryou said.

"We're going for a walk." Akutsu answered, tossing a leash at him and then spinning his Brother hat around backwards.

"…What?" Ryou repeated.

"Just put the leash on because we're going for a walk!" Akutsu yelled, opening up a paper bag and putting it over his head.

"What's with the paper bag?" Ryou asked.

"You think I want people to know that I'm doing this idiotic thing?" Akutsu demanded.

"…Can I use a paper bag too?" Ryou whined.

"FINE." Said Akutsu as Ryou ran off to get himself a paper bag.

"Where are you going?" Atsushi asked as Ryou put a paper bag over his head.

"Apparently, I'm going on a walk with Akutsu." Ryou answered as he trudged off.

Atsushi raised an eyebrow as he heard the front door open and then slam shut. He shrugged and walked into the kitchen where Oshitari and Kaidou both were.

"Surprisingly enough, Atsushi, you made the correct choice when you assigned Kaidou to be our family's Mom." Oshitari commented as he ate some sort of delectable dish that Kaidou made.

"Just so you know, that is NOT a meal." Kaidou said explicitly. "That's just a random snack that I made and you just ate it. And Akutsu ate some of it too. And so did Ryou. All that's left is YOU, Atsushi."

"…" Atsushi said. "I'm good. I just had a banana."

"WHAT?" yelled Kaidou, slamming his hand down on the table, which made Oshitari's plate fly up into the air and then land. Oshitari didn't really flinch, but Atsushi jumped high up into the air just like the plate. "Who gave you permission to eat a banana?"

"Well no one, I was just hungry so I figured I'd eat—"

"So I guess you were also the one who left the knife covered in peanut butter on the counter so _I _had to clean it up!" Kaidou inferred.

"Um…"

"You had peanut butter with your banana, DIDN'T YOU?" Kaidou yelled as he advanced towards Atsushi.

"Kaidou, Kaidou…" Oshitari said calmly. "I don't think killing Atsushi is really necessary."

"He's going to spoil his appetite!" Kaidou said.

"Uh…sorry…?" Atsushi tried. "It'll never happen…again?"

"Damn straight it won't." Kaidou crossed his arms. "Now, to make it up to me, you have to eat some of that."

He pointed at Oshitari's plate.

Cautiously, Atsushi inched over to the plate and took a bite very slowly and very tentatively.

"HA!" said Kaidou, doing a slight gesture of victory. "I finished my task. I got you all to eat something when it wasn't mealtime. I win. I did it first. 15-Love for the second year."

"…" Oshitari and Atsushi both looked at each other as Kaidou strode away.

Team Seven  
"There is a one hundred percent chance that I will complete my task of starting an argument and then apologizing to Inui." Renji reported to Sanada. 

"Oh?" said Sanada.

"Yes." Said Renji. "If he knows it is my task, it won't prove to be terribly difficult. However, Sanada, there is a fifteen percent chance that you will complete your task of taking Jirou for a walk."

"What's that supposed to mean?" demanded Sanada angrily. "Are you saying I'm not capable of doing something so simple?"

"Jirou is sleeping." Renji reminded him. "You cannot wake him up."

"Oh right…" said Sanada with a frown.

"Along those lines, there is an eleven percentchance that Jirou will complete his task of stealing something precious to me and hiding it in the backyard." Renji went on. "And Inui has already completed HIS task, so we have nothing to worry about."

Just then, Tetsu walked in.

"Wait, did I just hear you guys talking about the tasks?" Tetsu asked.

"Yes." Said Sanada and Renji.

"I thought those were supposed to be a secret." Tetsu said slowly.

"They are." Said Renji.

"But we like taking the fun out of everything." Sanada finished up.

"Oh." said Tetsu. "Well, if I can avoid dire consequences…Sanada, my task is just to switch clothes with you."

Sanada raised an eyebrow. "Are you sure about that?" he questioned.

"There is a ninety percent chance that Sanada will eventually agree to your request." Renji reported.

"Ninety percent?" said Tetsu. "Why not one hundred percent?"

Renji shrugged. "There's a chance Sanada could be an ass for no reason."

"Renji!" said Sanada. "That insult was for no reason!"

"Sanada, I said that there was only a ten percent chance that you would be an ass for no reason." Renji reminded him. "That's a very slim chance."

"I'm offended that you think there is even a slim chance." Sanada looked hurt and dejected.

"I apologize for my inference." Renji said. "Please forgive me."

"I don't know." Said Sanada. "I don't want to."

"Well, there you go." Said Renji. "Data doesn't lie."

Just then, Jirou entered the room yawning very loudly, as if trying to get attention.

"Well, well, he's up." Said Sanada. "Perhaps he will complete his task after all. Maybe your data DOES lie, Renji."

"What do you mean?" Jirou yawned, only looking half awake.

"Renji predicted that there was only an eleven percent chance that you will complete your task of burying something precious to him in the backyard." Sanada said.

"Oh…really?" said Jirou with a smile.

Silence befell the household.

"Wait…" said Renji. "…Where's Inui?"

Tetsu, Renji and Sanada all looked at each other and then at Jirou who was now giggling maniacally.

"DEAR GOD!" they shouted as they sprinted to the backyard and Jirou only stood there chuckling at their expense.

And that's when Inui walked in.

"What are you laughing at?" Inui asked.

"Oh…just people." Said Jirou. "They get me every time."

"I see." Said Inui, adjusting his glasses.

Team Eight  
Jackal slammed the door open so intensely that the doorknob got lodged in the wall. He stomped into the house with the most angry looking frown EVER, and Atobe strolled in right after him. 

"Oh, welcome back, Jackal!" said Bane. "How was your totally random walk with Atobe?"

Jackal reached out and grabbed Bane by the throat.

"Like cancer." He said plainly as he let go.

Bane choked a little bit as Jackal lumbered past him.

"I suppose this is a bad time to ask if you want to switch clothes with me just for kicks, huh?" Bane called after him, but Jackal slammed the door to the Kids room.

"We had quite the interesting talk." Said Atobe. "Though he is quite simple minded. I could forgive that."

"How kind." Said Bane sarcastically.

"Now, if you'll excuse me." Said Atobe as he swept by and made his way to the Parents room.

When he opened the door, he was shocked to discover someone was already on the bed with his face buried in the pillow.

Atobe stood there looking betrayed as if this had ALWAYS been his room and everyone should know better.

"What do you think you're doing?" Atobe bellowed.

Shinji didn't react at first, but then he slowly turned his head towards Atobe to reveal that the pillow was soaked with tears, and his eyes were still leaking.

"Whoa, what's wrong with you?" Atobe said, raising an eyebrow.

"Yuuta said some very hurtful things to me." Shinji sighed in a very depressed fashion.

"And…you're crying?" Atobe clarified.

"Tears cleanse my emotions." Shinji answered.

"Why are you letting a second year push you around?" Atobe asked.

Shinji frowned. "I'm a second year too."

"Oh." said Atobe. "I'm sorry. I can see why you're crying then."

Atobe then stepped outside the room and shut the door behind him. He went into the living room where Yuuta was sitting watching Monty Python and the Holy Grail.

He cleared his throat and Yuuta turned around.

"Did you say very hurtful things to Shinji?" Atobe asked.

Yuuta shrugged. "I told him to get a haircut, but that's it." Yuuta said. "Why, is he still crying?"

"Yes." Said Atobe.

"I guess I should go apologize." Said Yuuta as he got up and practically skipped towards the Parents room.

Atobe only stood there dumbly for a little while as he waited for someone else to walk in and interact with him.

"MAIL!" came Bane's voice as he walked in the house. He waited for everyone else to assemble, but clearly they were all very busy, so he decided to just share the mail with Atobe.

"Let's see," said Atobe, taking the letter away from him within two seconds. "It seems as though there is another challenge at the tennis courts today."

"YES!" said Bane. "I love playing tennis!"

"It says here that we won't be playing tennis." Atobe said, pointing at the title of the letter that was underlined, bolded and repeated six or seven times.

"What?" said Bane, looking at the letter. "It must be a typo or something."

"Well, if that is the case, I am still playing Singles 1." Atobe clarified. "Get the others together, and we shall go play our long overdue tennis match."


	12. In Which There is a Race

Day Two  
The Second Competition  
"So we will be running a modified triathlon." Ryuuzaki explained. 

"A tennis triathlon?" said Momo.

Ryuuzaki glared at Momo and then continued. "It will start with a three legged race run by the Mom and Dad. Then, they will pass the baton off to the Sister who will be swimming, then to the Brother who will be biking and finally, to the Pet who will do the running."

"I have a question." Gakuto raised his hand.

"If it has anything to do with tennis, then don't bother asking it." Sakaki warned.

"Well…it has a LITTLE to do with tennis." Gakuto admitted.

"Then don't ask it." Sakaki said.

"But it's really important." Gakuto pleaded.

"Very well, what is it?" Sakaki asked.

"I was just wondering if the part where we play tennis was before, after or in the middle of all this other stuff." Gakuto said.

The coaches were stupefied, but especially when all the other players agreed.

"THERE WILL BE NO TENNIS TODAY!" Sakaki yelled as he whipped out a tennis racket and hit Gakuto over the head with it.

"What about tomorrow then?" Gakuto asked as he shielded himself.

"NO!" yelled all the coaches.

"Just…please…" said Ojii. "Forget about tennis for a couple of days so we can actually teach you some values that just… don't… have anything to do with tennis…"

"But…" stuttered the students.

"ALL RIGHT." Said Banji. "The Moms and Dads accompany Ryuuzaki, the Sisters go with Ojii, the Brothers with Sakaki and the Pets with me. NOW."

Sadly, the players all obeyed their coaches.

Three Legged Race  
"All right," said Ryuuzaki as she went to each pair and handed them an item that which would be sufficient to tie their legs together. They were standing at the start of a track that was right next to the tennis courts. "The object of this portion of the race is to go around this track four times and then dash to the swimming pools that are off yonder." 

"Four times?" repeated Atsushi in a tone of disbelief. "That's a mile! And the pools are at least a mile from here!"

"I'm sure you'll manage." Said Ryuuzaki.

"It's all right, everyone, just view it as conditioning training for tennis." Inui said.

"NO!" said Ryuuzaki. "Don't view it as such! View it as utterly pointless because that's what it is!"

The Moms and Dads stood there silently.

"All right, whatever, just tie your inside legs together." Said Ryuuzaki. "Moms on the right, Dads on the left."

"I am SO glad you're not Fuji." Said Taka to Yana.

"Well, yeah, I am too." Yana agreed.

"You're glad that you're not Fuji or you're glad that I'm not Fuji?" Taka said, looking confused.

"Um…both." Yana replied.

"There we go, we're all set." Said Choutarou as he stood up after tying his leg to Gakuto. Of course, whence he stood, it became quite apparent to them that he was a good foot taller than Gakuto. And Gakuto's knee only sort of went half way up his shin.

The two of them looked at each other blankly for a few seconds.

"Well." Said Gakuto. "It's not MY fault."

"It's not MY fault either." Said Choutarou.

"It's our parents' fault for having non-average genes." Gakuto said.

"Right." Said Choutarou. "I never thought of it that way!"

"Hey, Tezuka, are we going to win or what?" cheered David as he was ALL BY HIMSELF on the cheering squad for Team Three.

Tezuka was just standing there with his eyes closed looking like he was going to go Super Saiyan any second. And he looked even more so as such when he started glowing yellow and an ominous wind blew beneath him.

"ALL RIGHT!" David said. "The Tezuka Zone! I am so thrilled that I can't even think of a pun!"

He paused.

"…Is it safe for me to be this close to you while you're like this?" David asked hesitantly.

But of course Tezuka didn't respond.

Saeki and Sakurai looked at each other and nodded confidently.

"Even if we don't win the race as a whole, we have to at least win it individually." Saeki said.

"That's right." Said Sakurai. "Because we can't let Ryoma win."

"Yes, exactly!" agreed Saeki. "He has to remain in his place!"

"Where first years belong!" Sakurai said. Then they did their secret handshake again.

"I am SO in the rhythm!" said Kamio excitedly.

Shishido only stared at him. "Stop doing that." He ordered. "You're making yourself look totally lame."

"Shishido, I am the fastest one here by far!" said Kamio. "We are going to win this."

"If you haven't noticed, your leg is attached to mine." Shishido pointed out. "So it doesn't matter if you're the fastest one here. Because…" Shishido looked off into the distance. "I was not blessed with strength or height or speed or intelligence, or a sense of the game or anything at all really…"

"Then what are you good for?" Kamio questioned.

"I have good dashes!" Shishido said angrily.

"Hey, you were the one putting yourself down, not me!" Kamio reminded him.

Atsushi and Kaidou were both standing there silently.

"So anyway, Kaidou…" Atsushi said slowly.

Kaidou crossed his arms and turned away from him.

"What I wanted to say was…" Atsushi sighed. "I'm sorry."

Kaidou froze.

"I'm sorry." Atsushi repeated.

Kaidou looked at Atsushi. Then he paused. "I accept your apology." He said.

"Okay, good!" said Atsushi. "Yay!"

Kaidou didn't know what to make of Atsushi's response, so he just decided to disregard it entirely and win the race. NO ONE can beat him in a race of endurance! And even if this wasn't a race of endurance, why would you tell him something like that when he was so enthusiastic that we was practically in the KAIDOU ZONE?

Renji and Inui were making some last minute notes in their books.

"From this point on, we have to remember whatever data we happen to see." Inui commented as he put his book away.

"We shall collaborate our notes later." Renji said.

"For now, we must win this race." Inui said.

"Our chances for winning are a mere six percent." Renji observed, looking down the line of other participants.

"Our chances are very slim." Inui agreed.

"Still, even if our chances are so slim, we will rise triumphant." Renji decided.

Finally, Yuuta and Shinji were finishing up tying their legs together.

"Okay, are you ready to do this?" Yuuta asked.

Shinji sighed. "I guess."

Yuuta waited. "You're not still mad at me, are you?"

"Maybe I am." Shinji said, looking like he was trying to fight back the tears.

"I already apologized and you accepted my apology." Yuuta reminded him.

"Forgiveness is easy enough, but forgetting…that takes strength that I just don't think I have." Shinji said, covering his face and turning away dramatically.

Yuuta slapped his forehead.

"ON YOUR MARKS!" Ryuuzaki yelled. "GET SET…"

She paused for dramatic effect and waited for Kamio to falter since he was SO in the rhythm that he just had to start. Because of Shishido's absurdly good reflexes, he was waiting for the exact second that Ryuuzaki said go for him to go, so of course he was not ready for Kamio's false start. Within a split second, both of them ended up in a heap on the ground.

Ryuuzaki decided that that was the best time to say, "GO!"

Everyone took of sprinting.

"Aw man!" Kamio yelled as he looked up. "I am so off my rhythm now!"

"Just be quiet and get up!" Shishido ordered. They both scrambled to their feet and took off running to catch up.

Meanwhile, David and Tezuka were running at a totally average pace even though Tezuka was glowing like a firefly (except it was his WHOLE body, and not just his rear).

"Um…Tezuka…?" said David as Saeki and Sakurai passed them. "Is the Tezuka Zone going to do anything productive anytime soon?"

Then he watched as Atsushi and Kaidou passed them.

"We're in third now…" sniffed David.

Gakuto and Choutarou were having their fair share of problems.

"Ootori, your steps are too massive!" Gakuto yelled as they once again fell over. "My legs aren't as long as yours so I can't reach that far."

Choutarou sniffed sadly as Yuuta and Shinji ran by them. Then Kamio and Shishido ran by them as well.

"Oh!" Choutarou exclaimed. "Go Shishido, I believe in you!"

"Come on, we have to get moving again!" Gakuto slapped Choutarou across the face a few times to jerk him out of his trance.

"You're right!" said Choutarou. "Even though I want Shishido to win, I also want him to be proud of me for doing a good job so he doesn't have to be ashamed to call himself my doubles partner!"

Choutarou jumped to his feet.

"Uh…sure…whatever works." Said Gakuto.

"Let's go!" Choutarou said.

He took one average step forward, which caused Gakuto to do a split. It's not like Gakuto was in any pain from doing a split since he probably does it all the time, but it certainly came as a surprise and he ended up falling over, which of course brought Choutarou down with him.

"At this rate, I'll NEVER make Shishido proud!" said Choutarou since that was the only thing on his mind.

"I've got it." Said Gakuto. "Stand up, but not move at all."

The two of them stood up, and then Gakuto just wrapped his arms around Choutarou and put his other foot on top of Choutarou's.

"There, now you run and I'll just chill here." Said Gakuto.

"What a great plan!" said Choutarou as he started running.

Of course, they had a lot of ground to make up. Kaidou and Atsushi, the first place team, were coming close to lapping them.

"Kaidou, can't we slow down a little bit?" gasped Atsushi. "I haven't trained enough to go at this pace for this long!"

"We have to win!" Kaidou said desperately.

"I need…to rest…!" Atsushi said as he miss-stepped, causing them both to fall over.

Taka and Yana, who were making excellent time and had passed all the other teams, were thrilled to see this. They darted past the quarrelling team.

"We're almost at the third lap!" Yana exclaimed. "We just have to keep this up for a little while longer!"

"I am slightly fearful of the Tezuka Zone…" Taka admitted as he looked back at Tezuka and David slowly closing in on Saeki and Sakurai, the current second place team.

"Third lap, third lap, third lap!" said Yana enthusiastically as he picked up his pace without letting Taka know, which caused him to make them both fall.

"YES!" cheered Saeki and Sakurai as they bounded right over the heap and crossed the line to start the third lap before anyone else.

"One more lap and then we have to run to the pool!" said Saeki.

"Go Team Four!" Sakurai said, looking ULTRA determined.

"Good news, the Tezuka Zone doesn't seem to be doing ANYTHING!" Saeki reported.

David happened to overhear this comment, and he looked at Tezuka. "Are you just saving it until the last second or something?" David asked. "Just to make everything more dramatic?"

Tezuka suddenly winced and toppled to the ground. And you should know by now that David came along with him.

"My shoulder!" Tezuka cried as his glowing promptly ceased to exist. "My recurring injury that always comes back to haunt me at the worst of times!"

David only sat there.

"Is this part of your plan to utilize the Tezuka Zone?" David asked.

"I…can still…race…" Tezuka struggled to get to his feet but it was in vain because he was clearly in so much ultra pain and couldn't possibly race anymore.

One by one, each team passed them. First Atsushi and Kaidou, then Taka and Yana, then Kamio and Shishido, followed by Choutarou and Gakuto, then Renji and Inui, and finally, bringing up the rear, Yuuta and Shinji.

"My heart's just not in it…" Shinji admitted when he noticed Yuuta's endless frustrated grunts.

"I noticed." Yuuta responded. "Can't you just get over it? All I did was tell you that you needed a haircut."

"Oh," said Shinji dramatically as he covered his face.

"What?" said Yuuta with a sigh. "I tell my brother to get a haircut all the time."

"Oh," Shinji repeated as he struck a pose of despair.

"You're acting like a woman." Yuuta glared.

"Oh," Shinji went on, making expressions that suggested he was being stabbed. And for him, it felt like he was.

Taka and Yana were rounding the track to reach the last lap with only two teams in front of them. They were closing in on Saeki and Sakurai, and Atsushi and Kaidou were only a few steps in front of them.

Taka looked up to see that Fuji was standing at the line with his hands behind his back.

"Oh no." said Taka nervously.

"I see him too." Said Yana comfortingly.

"Oh good, it's not in my imagination." Taka gave a sigh of relief.

As they got closer, Fuji pulled his hand out from behind his back to reveal that he was holding a racket. But not just ANY racket. TAKA'S RACKET!

"Perfect!" said Yana.

"…What?" Taka said hesitantly.

"Got it!" Yana grabbed the racket from Fuji. Fuji only waved to Taka as the two of them passed him. "Take this, Taka!"

He handed the racket to Taka. Taka paused for a second and then suddenly exploded with BURNING!

"YEAH!" Taka yelled. "COME ON! BURRRRRRRRRRNING!"

Taka grabbed Yana and lifted him right up off his feet and then proceeded to run as if he was in the hundred-yard dash. But faster than humanly possible. It took only a matter of seconds for them to pass the other two teams who were both in shock at the trail of fire that was left behind. In fact, the force of Taka's running speed blew the other two teams halfway across the track.

The Kamio and Shishido team as well as the Gakuto and Choutarou team leapt at their opportunity to make up some ground and broke into a sprint coming up on the fourth lap.

Taka and Yana were well on their way to the pool before Renji and Inui finally left the track to make their way to the pool as well.

"The only two teams behind us are…" Renji looked behind him. "Yuuta and Shinji who appear to be having a quarrel, and Tezuka and David who are limping around their third lap."

"My data tells me that there is a twenty percent chance that this shortcut is a sixty percent faster route to the pool." Inui pointed to a street coming up.

"Can we take that chance?" Renji questioned.

"There's no other way we'll win." Inui pointed out.

"Then let us go that way." Said Renji.

And with that, the two of them veered off down a random road.


	13. In Which Some Wear Bathing Suits

Swimming  
Kirihara, Momo, Aoi, Hiyashi, Sengoku, Oshitari, Tetsu and Bane were all waiting at the end of the pool for their Moms and Dads to come to them with the batons. 

"As a review," Ojii said. "You must go back and forth five times, jump out of this pool and then run to the bike path that is down the road."

"GOT IT!" said all the sisters, giving him a thumbs up.

"And remember, you're not allowed to apply this to anything that has to do with tennis either." Ojii reminded them.

"Aw…" said everyone sadly as they bowed their heads in shame.

"I am going to win this challenge and continue to move up the ranks as the Dad of the household." Kirihara said as he did WAY intense stretching. He was wearing a specially made green bathing suit because it is SO hard to find bathing suits that match your hair. Even though it's black.

"HA!" said Momo as he pulled on the drawstrings of his orange bathing suit with pockets. "That's funny because it is going to be ME who wins this challenge and moves up in rank as the Dad of the household."

"Weren't you the Dad before?" Kirihara questioned.

"Yes." Said Momo sadly. "And after you've tasted the sweet, sweet authority of the Dad, you simply cannot go on being subdued as the SISTER!"

Momo wept into his arm.

"Well think of me." Said Kirihara. "I was the Pet before this. Being the Sister is a perk for me. But I still want to be the Dad."

"I am going to be the one who wins!" Aoi called down to the other two as he stood there equipped with his bathing suit that pretty much was his Rokkaku tennis uniform EXCEPT IT WAS A BATHING SUIT. "I am under so much pressure that I couldn't possibly lose! I mean, I've completely run through a month's supply of Arrid, THAT'S how under pressure I am!"

"That's weird…" said Kirihara and Momo together.

"I hope something happened to my teammates so I don't have to race." Hiyoshi sighed. His bathing suit was one of those ones that looked like a Hawaiian shirt. You know, only the COOLEST kids get to wear THOSE bathing suits.

"I can't wait to race." Sengoku said, already in ready position with his red bathing suit that had a vivid green lining—like a watermelon! "I am so going to win this and become Dad of the household. I've already got all the plans in my head on who's gonna be what family member."

"Oh do you?" said Hiyoshi, looking slightly interested.

"Yup." Said Sengoku. "That's how confident I am about my winning ability. So I can only hope that my team is one of the ones in the lead!"

Hiyoshi reconsidered his previous strategy. "Okay." He said. "I want to win then, too."

"That's the spirit!" said Sengoku.

"Maybe it would have been better to just let him not be enthusiastic." Oshitari said. He looked the funniest out of everyone because he had on his prescription goggles and one of those absurd one piece candy-cane MAN'S bathing suits. And the only reason why no one was making fun of him at that exact moment was because they had already done that when he had come out of the changing room.

"It doesn't matter." Said Sengoku. "I happen to know that my team is going to be in the lead."

"Oh?" said Oshitari. "And why is that?"

"Cause my team is…in the rhythm." Said Sengoku.

"Dear God, NO!" said Oshitari dramatically. Then he stopped. "Wait, what is that supposed to mean?"

"You'll see." Said Sengoku.

"Psst," Tetsu said to Oshitari. "It's just that he's got Kamio on his team."

"Meaning…?" Oshitari questioned.

"Kamio is probably the fastest guy currently playing tennis at our level right now." Tetsu answered. BTW, Tetsu was wearing swimmies and a bathing cap. His bathing suit had been poorly planned by the designers because they put a big dinosaur on it with its mouth open towards… YOU KNOW… that area… so it kind of looked like the dinosaur was taking a big bite out of… YOU KNOW.

Oshitari looked Tetsu up and down. "Were you wearing those swimmies the whole time?" he asked.

Tetsu looked ashamed. "I don't know how to swim…" he admitted.

"Aha." Said Oshitari overconfidently.

"I don't want to let down my team…" Tetsu said helplessly. "I mean, I'm only a second year."

"I know what you mean." Said Bane, putting his hand on Tetsu's shoulder. "Right now, our team is relying on two second years. And everyone knows that anyone below a third year is incompetent."

"HEY!" yelled every single person down the line except for Sengoku and Oshitari who went over and slapped him five.

"Oh what's this?" said Kirihara as he jumped up on his diving platform. "I believe I see MY team coming into the area!"

Everyone turned around and saw the trail of fire getting closer and closer to the pool area.

"Isn't that cheating…?" Momo whined slightly since he knew exactly what had happened.

"BUURRRRRRNNNNNNNNNNING!" Taka screamed as he and Yana came towards them at top speed and practically threw the baton at Kirihara.

"All right!" said Kirihara as he caught it while he was diving into the water.

"COME ON! COME ON BURNING!" Taka continued to scream as he swung his racket around while Yana was still attached to him and crying for help.

Momo grabbed the racket right out of Taka's hand, and Taka stopped in mid swing.

"Oh." said Taka, looking around. "Let's get untied."

With that, he pleasantly bent down and started untying Yana from his leg, while Yana was just lying there with this face that suggested he was saying, "NEVER AGAIN!"

"Damn it…Team One already has such an advantage!" angsted Sengoku. "I wanted to win this…!"

"No, it's better this way!" said Aoi. "If I'm under pressure, I perform better! The further behind Tezuka and David are, the better I'm going to perform!"

"Here comes two more teams!" Ojii announced.

Everyone turned around to that there were, sure enough, two more teams coming towards them. The first one being the totally in sync (or in the rhythm if you so desire) and the other being a single person running while holding a smaller person.

"Oh good, my angsting was unnecessary!" Sengoku cheered as he held out his hand to receive the baton from Shishido and Kamio.

"They're practically even!" Momo said, looking ready to get his baton from Gakuto and Choutarou.

After the pass offs were complete, Momo and Sengoku dove into the water and joined Kirihara doing laps.

"Yay!" cheered Choutarou as he ran over to Shishido and gave him a big hug while still dragging Gakuto around like a fool child in the split position. "We ended up tying! How perfect could that have been?"

"Choutarou, come on…" said Shishido, looking around embarrassedly. "Do you have to do that right here and right now?"

"Oh…sorry…" said Choutarou, backing away from Shishido.

"FINALLY." Said Gakuto as he untied his leg from Choutarou. And then he ran over to Oshitari. "Don't worry, Oshitari, your team isn't far behind!"

"That's good to know." Said Oshitari, getting himself pumped up.

"I wonder what Tachibana is doing…" Kamio said randomly.

"Oh look, here comes another one, and the next team isn't far behind!" Ojii called.

"Faster, faster…" Oshitari mumbled. The team in front was Kaidou and Atsushi, and Kirihara was already on his third lap, while Momo and Sengoku had just finished their first.

"Hurry it up!" Kaidou yelled as he threw the baton the remaining distance that was necessary and then Oshitari started swimming.

"Us too!" Saeki and Sakurai agreed as they threw the baton dramatically. But they threw it kind of short so Hiyoshi had to get off the starting block, pick up the baton and THEN dive in.

"Why are you stopping?" yelled Yana as Kirihara held onto the side of the pool to take a rest.

"I'm tired!" Kirihara yelled at him. "I used too much energy in the first four laps!"

"The others are going to catch up…" Taka observed as Momo turned to start his third, while Oshitari approached the wall to start his third as well.

"Come on, just one more lap!" Yana pleaded with Kirihara. "Don't you want to be the Dad?"

Kirihara took a deep breath and looked determined, and then took off swimming again. Yes. He DID wish to be the Dad.

"Where are the rest of the teams?" cried Bane, Tetsu and Aoi.

And exactly when they said that, Yuuta and Shinji came around the corner.

"YES!" Bane said enthusiastically as he took the baton from the clearly feuding pair and he was in the water.

"We COULD have done so much better if Shinji hadn't been being such a douche bag." Said Yuuta with a scowl.

"There you go again, it never ends…" Shinji collapsed on the ground, his posture suggesting he had just been beaten with a stick.

"Wow, he's acting more like a bitch than you two." Said Momo to Choutarou and Gakuto.

"How dare you!" they both said as they slapped him.

Momo sniffled a little bit.

"Hey, wait a second, why aren't you swimming?" Gakuto asked.

"I finished." Momo shrugged.

Gakuto looked at the baton in Momo's hand. "You're supposed to take that baton to the next person!" he yelled.

"To the bike path!" Ojii reminded him.

"OH NO!" Momo exclaimed as he ran off, following Sengoku who was lamely starting to run towards the bike path. Kirihara was also getting out of the pool, but at a much slower pace.

"Almost…done…" Oshitari gasped as he started the last lap.

Sengoku's speech probably inspired Hiyoshi or SOMETHING because he didn't even look tired as he jumped out of the pool and made his way towards the bike path.

Everyone looked at each other.

"Did he skip a lap or something?" Saeki wondered out loud, but Sakurai hit him over the head and told him to HUSH!

Oshitari was climbing out of the pool as Bane started his second lap.

Tetsu and Aoi were still waiting for their teams to arrive.

"Why didn't Tezuka just use the Tezuka Zone?" Aoi cried. "I'm under so much pressure! I NEED MORE ARRID!"

That's when they noticed another team was approaching. But, much to Aoi's dismay and Tetsu's glee, it was Inui and Renji.

"Hm…it seems as though that was not a shortcut." Said Renji to Inui. "We are further behind than we were before."

"My data was incorrect." Inui took out his book and erased something. "Correction: there is a zero percent chance that that route was a shortcut."

"You two can untie yourselves from each other now, you know." Said Kamio.

Renji and Inui both looked at Kamio, then at each other. Then they shrugged. They didn't mind.

"This is just a LITTLE too much pressure!" Aoi admitted as he pounded the ground dramatically as Bane got out of the pool to run towards the bike path.


	14. In Which Disaster Strikes

Biking  
"The object of this event is to bike to the very end of the path." Sakaki narrated. "And when you get there, you will meet up with the Pets and they will finish up the race from there." 

"GOT IT!" said all the Brothers.

"And don't forget!" Sakaki went on.

"This has nothing to do with tennis." The others droned.

"Very good," said Sakaki, wiping a tear from his eye. "I'm so very proud of all of you…"

They were all wearing the correct protective gear suggested for biking, including helmets, knee pads, elbow pads and even those gloves that kids feel cool in when they cut the fingers off. And yes, they did feel cool. As well they should… they're nice and safe.

"There you are, Fuji." Said Marui as Fuji came strolling up. "We didn't think you'd make it back in time. Where did you even go?"

"Oh, nowhere in particular." Fuji replied as he reapplied his helmet.

"Seriously, now I'm SO curious." Said Marui.

"Well, if you must know…" Fuji said slowly. "I went to make sure Taka won his event."

"That's it?" Marui looked disappointed.

"What were you expecting?" Fuji asked.

"I don't know…" said Marui with a shrug. "Something…evil?"

"Oh." said Fuji. "Maybe next time, Marui. Maybe next time."

Marui looked scared.

Kabaji was just standing there like a moron magnet. But he looked silly because everyone had to pick their second hand bikes at the beginning and he had been slow at picking and he had ended up with the tiny one that was pink and had streamers.

Everyone took turns laughing at him because they knew he couldn't defend himself. But that fact alone made it even better.

"I hope I don't collapse while I'm riding…" Yukimura said weakly.

"It's all right, Yukimura, I'm here for you all the way." Said Sanada.

As it would happen, there was one two-person bike and Sanada made sure to grab it and put Yukimura on the back.

"I don't want to burden you…" Yukimura said.

"If you feel too weak, then I will do everything!" Sanada said.

"Oh Sanada, I burden you so much…" Yukimura said.

"Wait, how is that going to work?" Itsuki asked Sakaki. "When do they start? When Yukimura's teammate gets here or when Sanada's teammate gets here?"

"Hm…" said Sakaki. "BOTH of their teammates have to be here before they may start!"

"That could end up being detrimental to one of their teams." Akutsu said. "But that's good. More of a chance for ME to win."

He clenched his fist so tightly that his palm exploded with blood.

Jackal flinched at this gesture and decided to move his bike as far away from Akutsu as he could.

"It looks as though the first swimmer is here!" Sakaki said.

Everyone spun around to see who it would be. Out of ALL randomness, it was Hiyoshi!

"Go!" Hiyoshi said, giving the baton to Yukimura.

Yukimura only sat there.

"GO." Hiyoshi said in an elevated tone.

"We have to wait until Tetsu gets here." Sanada said. "We're riding this event together."

Hiyoshi raised a finger to argue a very good point, but then he realized it was useless, and he wasn't about to start saying that Yukimura was in good enough condition to be riding a bike for a set distance.

"Fine…whatever…" Hiyoshi walked off looking dejected.

"I'm burdening you so much, Sanada." Said Yukimura.

"Don't ever say that, Yukimura!" said Sanada. "This time around, it is _I_ who is burdening _you_!"

Before anyone could tell them to stop being so annoying, Momo and Sengoku came whipping around the corner going at top speed as if they were the running event people.

"ME FIRST!" Momo yelled as he pushed Sengoku out of the way.

"NO ME!" Sengoku HOLL-ered as he grabbed Momo's arm and pulled him back.

Both of them tumbled to the ground before they reached the biking area, and Kirihara came dramatically leaping over both of them, literally from NOWHERE.

"I'm so proud." Said Fuji with a smile.

"Hurry, we can still win!" Kirihara said, desperately giving the baton to Fuji.

Fuji looked at Kirihara and then at the baton.

"Thank you." He said calmly as if he wasn't in a race and Kirihara wasn't SO exhausted that he was about to collapse. He then took the baton and slowly began mounting his bike.

By this time, Momo and Sengoku had sprinted up to Marui and Itsuki and passed off their batons. Marui and Itsuki disappeared down the path as Fuji kicked up his kickstand.

"I'll see you all at the finish line!" Fuji waved them all off, ringing his bell as he departed.

A cold shiver ran down everyone's spines.

"When is Oshitari going to get here?" Akutsu demanded as he grabbed Jackal's shirt collar and shook him violently.

"I don't know!" Jackal said, covering his face to protect himself.

"That's it, break it up you two!" said Sakaki came in between them. "I believe Oshitari is rounding the corner as we speak."

"No, I'm already standing here." Oshitari said, holding out the baton.

"YES." Said Akutsu as he grabbed the baton and mounted his bike, speeding off faster than the speed of light.

No sooner had he gotten out of eyesight of the starting line for the bikers, he noticed that there was a wreck on the ground that was composed of a familiar looking bike, and then he notice that Itsuki was underneath it with swirly eyes so you know he's hurt but not SERIOUSLY.

He dismissed it as Itsuki just being foolish and crashing his bike, and decided that he would never allow that to happen to HIM.

But that's when he happened to come by another bike wreck, and this time with Marui underneath it.

Now, Akutsu would have dismissed that as a foolish accident as well if not for the fact that he saw Fuji peddling seemingly innocently. And very slowly. As if he didn't have anywhere to be.

Akutsu's eyes narrowed as he came up closer to Fuji.

Just when he was about to pass him, Fuji suddenly swerved right in front of him, causing his bike to go out of control and almost crash. Thankfully, Akutsu caught himself and regained control.

"FUJI SHUUSUKE!" yelled Akutsu.

Fuji's head whipped around, and he was now officially in Scary Creepy Fuji mode. "So, I see you managed to dodge." He commented.

"I'll kill you for that!" Akutsu yelled.

"Is that so?" Fuji said.

Fuji continued peddling, and then he spotted a small yet sizeable rock that was on the ground. He went right over to it and hit the rock in such a wonderful and special and GENIUS way that it went careening up into the air and sailed back to Akutsu, hitting him in the middle of his forehead.

"AAAAAAHHHUUUURRGH!" Akutsu yelled as he put his hands on his head but of course that gesture caused him to lose control of the bike and crash it into a tree.

Fuji only continued to peddle as if none of that had even happened.

And it wasn't long before he was confronted again. This time, by Jackal.

"Nice day for a bike ride, isn't it?" Fuji said as Jackal passed him.

Jackal tried to avoid eye contact. "Uh…yeah!" said Jackal nervously. He had seen all the other bike wrecks as he got closer to Fuji and come to the same conclusion that Akutsu had.

He constantly looked back over his shoulder, but Fuji continued being totally content with remaining just a bit behind him.

The anticipation of Fuji's evil acts was totally stressing Jackal out.

And, as he turned his head to look at Fuji to make sure he wasn't doing anything evil, Fuji merely pointed forward.

Jackal turned around to discover that he was riding right off the edge of the path and into the woods. It also came with quite a large drop that was probably quite hazardous.

Fuji only smiledcheerfully as he rounded the corner that Jackal had failed at, and behind him a giant mushroom cloud formed.

"Only three more…" Fuji said to himself.

Running  
"The only thing you guys have to do is run all the way back to the tennis courts where we will transport the rest of your teammates to see you cross the finish line!" said Banji. "And don't you DARE use this conditioning to make you better at tennis!"

"Don't worry, we won't!" chimed all the Pets.

"Oishi, it's been so long since you and I have been together!" said Eiji as the two of them stood REALLY close to each other. "I'm so glad we're both the Pet!"

"Hm…I'm not so sure, Eiji." Sighed Oishi. "Being the Pet in MY family is quite troublesome."

"What do you mean?" Eiji asked.

"Our family seems to have come at the general consensus that whoever is the Pet is officially… AN OUTSIDE PET!" Oishi answered.

"OH NO!" Eiji practically fainted.

"I did not get enough sleep…" complained Mizuki as he walked around like a zombie. "I'm too tired…"

"Why didn't you get enough sleep?" Ryoma asked.

"Because I stayed up all night because I was sure that Fuji was going to kill me." Mizuki answered.

"Ah, yes." Ryoma nodded, knowing exactly what Mizuki was going through.

"And then when I tried to sleep today, everyone made me get up put on this collar." Mizuki went on.

"I had the same experience, except I wasn't trying to sleep." Said Ryoma.

"I'm not tired at all!" said Jirou, already in the running ready position. "I'm ready to go! I'm ready to run! I could run a hundred miles, I'm so excited! I just hope my teammate gets here really soon!"

"That's funny, Jirou, usually you are the one who likes to sleep a lot." Atobe commented as he stood there looking as though no one could ever make him run anywhere. Anytime.

"You're just jealous." Said Jirou as if that made sense.

"I wonder if my team is doing all right…" Tachibana said, looking worried. "I noticed Tezuka was acting a little strange this morning and holding onto his shoulder… could it be…! No!"

"What?" asked Ryou because he was the only one who wasn't in a conversation already and that made him sad.

"I hate to think that Tezuka's recurring shoulder injury has once again come back to haunt him!" Tachibana said.

"Well, look at it this way." Said Ryou. "If your team loses, you'll at least have a better chance at winning the individual award and you'll get to reassign the families and make him the Pet."

"I think you're missing the point." Said Tachibana. "I'm worried about him because he'll be stressing an injury."

"Oh." said Ryou. "I thought you were upset because you could lose, and I was just pointing out that you would win the individual—"

"I know, I heard you." Said Tachibana. "I was there."

"Okay, okay," said Ryou. "You don't have to bite my head off."

"I didn't." said Tachibana. "I was explaining to you very calmly—"

"WHATEVER." Said Ryou as he walked away.

"Oh look, here comes Fuji!" said Mizuki.

"Eh…" said everyone else, looking less than thrilled.

Fuji came slowly biking up, still without a care in the world, and came to a stop in front of Mizuki.

"The baton!" Mizuki said, holding out his hand.

"The baton…" Fuji repeated, checking all his pockets. "Where did I put that thing…? I swear I had it somewhere…"

He patted down his pockets some more and then chuckled to himself.

"Oh yes!" he took the baton out of the basket in front of the bike and then handed it to Mizuki.

"Wow, Fuji, you were certainly going at a casual speed!" said Oishi. "Your team must have had a really big lead before you even started, huh?"

Fuji looked at Oishi and did not change expression: he just kept the same smile he always has. "Sure." He replied. "Of course."

"Scary…" Eiji said, clinging onto Oishi for protection.

Fuji set up the kickstand and let go of the bike.

"Well, our teams will catch up and we'll still win!" said Jirou confidently.

"It's still too early for you to win against me." Said Fuji as he struck a really sinister pose.

Meanwhile, Mizuki was jogging while also being half asleep. He had quite a distance to go until he got back to the tennis courts. But he had two motivations for getting there; the first one was to be closer to the courts so he could feel closer to tennis in general. The second was to put more distance between him and Fuji, which was VERY important.

So he decided to GO ALL OUT and sprint like there was no tomorrow. He had no idea who was behind him or far ahead he was. So he would just go as fast as he could until he arrived.

That's when he saw the tennis courts ahead of him.

"TENNIS!" Mizuki started running in slow motion. But not ACTUAL slow motion. He's just so tired that it pretty much looked like he was running in slow motion.

Then, as he literally was two feet away from the finish line, he collapsed.

"I…must…win…" Mizuki said as he dragged himself closer and closer and closer. The people from the swimming event and the three legged race event were all there cheering him on.

"COME ON MIZUKI!" cheered his team.

"FALL ASLEEP MIZUKI!" yelled all the other teams.

Mizuki stretched out his arm towards the finish line and finally looked like he was at his limit.

"HAH!" laughed the other teams.

"NOOOOOOOOO!" yelled Team One.

"Wait!" said Ryuuzaki as she went over to Mizuki and checked his hand. "It seems as though his longest finger is ever so slightly over the line!"

"What?" demanded Kaidou as he stomped over. "I demand a photo finish!"

"You don't need a photo finish." Said Ryuuzaki. "He hasn't moved."

"And besides, it's not like anyone else is coming." Choutarou observed.

Sure enough, Mizuki crossed the line EVER so slightly so Team One was officially declared the winners! HUZZAH!

Meanwhile, at the biking station, Aoi and Tetsu had finally eventually arrived and sent off the team of Yukimura and Sanada as well as Kabaji.

They peddled through the wreckage that is Fuji's work, and reported the damage to the runners when they reached that area. All of the runners and the bikers went to the finish line and told them the travesty that had occurred.

Everyone used teamwork to collect up all the bodies and give them the finest treatment available.

"How could this have happened?" wondered Banji as he looked upon Marui, Itsuki, Akutsu and Jackal, all of which were currently unconscious.

"How curious." Fuji agreed, trying to hold back his diabolical laughter. Luckily he succeeded.

"Well, I think it's pretty obvious that Team One wins!" said Ojii.

"Awwwwwwlll RIGHT!" cheered Team One, jumping up and punching the air.

"And after that, it doesn't really matter so we'll not even bother distinguishing that." Ojii finished.

"When you go back to your house, Team One, you will find your special prize." Said Sakaki. "And tomorrow morning, everyone will receive letter tomorrow morning telling you who the individual winner is!"

"HURRAY!" cheered everyone as they all went back to their houses. Yes. Just like that, they all went back to their houses.


	15. In Which We Worry About the Dolphins

Night Two  
Team One  
"Look everyone!" Taka exclaimed as he ran into the house and into the living room. "We have another comfy chair! This is awesome!" 

"Oh Taka." Said Fuji, looking very pleased.

"I am going to bed!" Mizuki announced as he went for the door of the Kids room.

"Did you finish your task?" Yana asked.

"I did it already!" said Mizuki as he ran into the room.

"Speaking of which…" Fuji said. "Kirihara, isn't there something you want to ask me?"

"What?" said Kirihara. "No."

"Oh, I'm sure there's something." Fuji coaxed.

"No." Kirihara raised an eyebrow.

"Just ask him something so he doesn't kill you." Yana hid behind Taka.

Kirihara thought hard. "Oh wait!" he said. "There IS something!"

Then he looked uneasy as Fuji only waited.

"Um…Fuji…?"

"…Yeeeeeeeeeess?" Fuji said.

"Do you wanna uh…" Kirihara paused slightly. "Uh…switch clothes with me?"

"No." Fuji replied with a slight laugh.

"WHAT?" demanded Kirihara.

"Ask me again in ten minutes." Said Fuji. "Maybe I'll say yes."

"Why I outta…" Kirihara started rolling up his sleeves.

But Fuji didn't even give him the time of day as he turned his back to Kirihara and looked at Taka. "Taka, have you noticed anything out of place recently?" he asked.

Taka paused. "What did you take?" he asked.

"Oh nothing!" said Fuji. "I was just wondering if you could show me that really nice knife of yours that you use to cut sushi with."

"That's my favorite knife ever!" Taka said, getting overly excited. "You want to see it?"

"Mm-hm." Fuji nodded.

"Don't let him hold it!" Yana whispered as Taka went into the kitchen and walked in a few circles.

"Wait…!" said Taka. "I can't find it! It's not here where I left it!"

"Oh…how unfortunate…" Fuji sighed. "Oh! Now I remember. Mizuki was in the backyard burying it under that tree this morning before the challenge."

"He was…what?" Taka gasped as he ran outside to check up on that.

"Why would Mizuki do that?" wondered Kirihara.

"I have no idea." Said Fuji as he sat down.

"Hey, you know what?" said Yana. "Let's all have a snack! I'll make it and then everyone can eat some of it!"

"Okay, as long as I don't have to do anything." Said Kirihara.

Yana then proceeded to whip up some microwave popcorn and pour it into a bowl. It only took a couple of minutes, and by the time he had finished, Taka had come back in and was whining as he cleaned his knife off in the sink.

"I'm going to ask Mizuki why he did this after he wakes up." Said Taka.

"How very authoritative of you." Fuji complimented.

"Everyone, have some popcorn!" said Yana.

Taka and Kirihara both ate some popcorn, and then the bowl came to Fuji.

"I'm not hungry." Fuji said.

"Oh come on, just have one." Said Yana.

"You can never have just one!" said Fuji with a big smile.

"Do you want to switch clothes now?" Kirihara asked Fuji.

Fuji didn't reply, he only stood up. "Say, do you suppose Mizuki is asleep yet?"

"Yeah probably." Yana replied.

"I'll be right back." Said Fuji as he disappeared into the Kids room and closed the door behind him.

The other three sat there for a few seconds.

"Oh my god, he's going to kill him!" said Yana in the quietest voice he could.

"Guys, guys, we've suspected that at least four other times and he hasn't done it yet." Said Taka. "I bet we're just having another big misunderstanding."

"Or maybe he's making us THINK that he's not going to kill him, but then he'll kill him." Said Kirihara. "Then we'd be accessories to murder, because we knew it was going to happen but we didn't do anything about it."

"Family," said Fuji as he appeared in the doorway and pulled Mizuki out. Mizuki looked quite disheveled and was attached to a leash. "We'll be back in a couple of hours. Don't wait up."

The rest of the family clung to each other in fear as Fuji dragged Mizuki out the door.

Team Two  
"These tuna fish sandwiches really hit the spot, Ootori." Said Marui as the entire family sat at the kitchen table eating tuna fish sandwiches and Choutarou stood up while holding an empty can. 

"Thank you!" said Choutarou, looking content. But then his face changed to a look of sadness.

The others slowed their chewing and then looked at each other.

"What's wrong?" Eiji asked.

"Do you have tuna fish with Shishido or something?" Momo asked.

"Well, yes…" Choutarou answered. "But that's not what's bothering me." He put the can on the table. "It's just…" he gave a heavy sigh. "I worry about the dolphins."

"WHAT?" demanded everyone else.

"This can." Choutarou said, pointing at it. "If I had taken the time to read it, I would have noticed that it didn't say 'dolphin safe' on it! So…now I worry about the dolphins…"

The rest of the family didn't exactly know how to respond to that.

"And Shishido and I eat tuna together sometimes too, so I miss him…" Choutarou went on.

"I know how you feel." Said Eiji, his eyes filling with tears. "Oishi and I eat tuna together all the time. And it's not the same if he's not here."

"And—" Gakuto began.

"HOLD ON." Momo interrupted, standing up. "Let's stop this before it even starts, okay? Let's talk about something else besides your doubles partners not being present ALL THE TIME."

"But what about the dolphins?" Choutarou said.

"Let's talk about something besides that too." Momo rolled his eyes. "How about our tasks? Did everyone finish their tasks today?"

"I don't know if a certain person is in the right state of mind to help me complete my task." Said Gakuto as he vaguely looked up at Choutarou who had decided to distract himself with washing the bowl he had used to mix the mayonnaise and tuna. But that just inevitably made him sadder because he remembered that time he had mixed tuna and mayonnaise together for Shishido, and Shishido had told him that he had used the perfect amount of mayonnaise.

"What's your task?" Marui whispered.

"I'm supposed to get in a fight with Ootori." Gakuto replied, loudly enough for the table to hear but quietly enough so Choutarou couldn't.

"That shouldn't be that hard." Said Momo. "He's on the verge of crying right now anyway."

They looked over at Choutarou who was sniffling and wiping his eyes.

"But that's mean…" said Gakuto.

"Just tell him that the dolphins suck or something." Said Momo. "And tell him you slept with Shishido and his mom at the same time."

Gakuto looked pretty annoyed with that statement.

"Did someone say something about Shishido over there?" Choutarou asked, coming over with his dripping wet bowl.

"No, no, no!" said everyone frantically.

"Oh…" Choutarou lowered his head and returned to the sink.

"Well, I finished MY task already." Eiji reported.

"And remember that walk we took earlier, Eiji?" said Marui.

"Uh…sort of." Said Eiji.

"Well, that was MY task." Marui said.

"Well, as long as we're just sharing what our tasks are, I might as well just tell you mine so we can actually do it without me seeing weird." Momo said. "I have to switch clothes with you, Marui."

"Uh huh." Said Marui, taking another bite of the non dolphin safe tuna.

"So we can do that like…when we're getting changed into our pajamas." Said Momo. "For a second or whatever."

"Whatever…"

"So I'm the only one who won't complete my task?" Gakuto whined.

"Ootori might not have." Eiji said.

"I just completed mine." Said Choutarou, walking over.

"Aw man!" said Gakuto. Then he paused and looked up at Choutarou who looked like he was ready to burst into tears. "Uh…hey Ootori… um… I'm glad this tuna isn't dolphin safe."

Choutarou gasped and dropped the bowl he was holding so it shattered into a million pieces. He took a few deep breaths and then ran out of the room in tears.

"Whoa." Said everyone.

"That counts as an argument, right?" said Gakuto, standing up. "I'm going to go apologize now."

Team Three  
Since Tezuka was incapacitated in the living room, lying down and resting his shoulder, Tachibana didn't have any trouble sneaking into his stuff and shifting through it to find something to steal. And frankly, he didn't really mind messing up all of Tezuka's things, especially after he made him the PET damn it! 

It had to be something precious, but something that he wouldn't notice was missing until at least tomorrow, just to be safe.

That's when he found a tennis racket at the bottom of Tezuka's bag.

"What?" said Tachibana. "I thought our coaches took away everyone's tennis rackets! This guy snuck his tennis racket in with him!"

So Tachibana decided that this was his item he would steal so he calmly exited through the backdoor and circled around the house into the backyard just so he definitely wouldn't be noticed. He dropped the racket into the hole he had already dug previously and filled it up. Even though it burned his soul to dirty such a wonderful thing, it couldn't be helped.

He entered through the backdoor. Tezuka was on the couch and glaring at him as he walked in, almost as if he KNEW what he had just done. But let's get serious here. How could anyone know? It's not like he's FUJI or anything.

"Why were you in the backyard?" Tezuka inquired.

"Because I felt like it." Said Tachibana.

Just then Aoi walked in wearing a set of Yugi Oh! pajamas that were obviously WAY too big for him.

"…Why are you wearing Kabaji's pajamas?" said Tezuka.

"Because I RULE!" said Aoi, striking a pose. "My task is complete."

"Wait, so if you're wearing Kabaji's pajamas then…" Tachibana started just as they heard the sound of Kabaji rounding the corner.

Tezuka and Tachibana both covered their eyes because they just didn't want to see that. They heard the backdoor open and then close, and Aoi finally told them it was all right to open their eyes.

"Oh phew." Said Tachibana. "WHY would you do something like that?"

"Take a wild guess." Said Aoi, looking annoyed.

"Aha." Said Tezuka and Tachibana.

"Speaking of which, has everyone finished their tasks?" Tezuka asked. "I don't want our team to get penalized just because you let your guard down."

"I have." Said Tachibana proudly. "And I'm pretty sure Kabaji did his too because he wanted to go on a walk earlier and I went with him…and it just seemed TOO random."

"Yeah, and remember how David was throwing raisins at us and bet us that we wouldn't eat them off the ground?" Aoi said.

"Oh yes." Said Tachibana and Tezuka.

"Apparently his task was to make sure we all ate something that wasn't considered a meal." Aoi explained.

"He could have just asked us to eat some raisins." Said Tachibana. "I WOULD have."

"Good." Said Tezuka. "All that's left is to do one thing."

Tezuka once again activated the Tezuka Zone, and within a few seconds, David entered.

"What do you want?" David said, sniffling.

"I wanted to apologize for saying that your puns were annoying." Tezuka replied.

"So…you love my puns?" David said.

"No, I hate them." Said Tezuka.

"Oh." said David, trudging out of the room sadly.

"Oh and by the way, why did Kabaji go outside into the doghouse?" Aoi asked.

"I don't know." Said Tachibana. "Maybe he doesn't know that he's not the Pet anymore. But I'm not about to argue with him. I'll sleep in the Kids room tonight as long as he doesn't mind."

Then all the captains gave each other thumbs up and clicked their heals. Except for Tezuka since he was bedridden. And Aoi tripped as he came down because his pajamas were way too big. And Tachibana was temporarily uncoordinated and fell on his face. They all mutually decided that they would never do that again, and just stop at the thumbs up.

Team Four  
"We really should have won that race today." Said Saeki. 

"I know." Said Sakurai.

"I worked so hard." Said Hiyoshi.

"I didn't get to do anything." Ryoma said.

No one wanted to blame Yukimura for being sickly…but it was his fault. But no one was going to say it.

"I'm sorry for burdening all of you." Said Yukimura because he knew it was his fault since just because he's sickly doesn't mean he's stupid.

"Oh, it's not your fault!" insisted everyone.

"It's not fair that I didn't get to do anything because I don't have a chance to win the individual challenge." Ryoma sighed.

"We like it that way." Said Saeki. "Now you'll definitely stay the Pet forever."

Ryoma sighed. "What's the point of keeping me the Pet forever?" he said even though he already knew the answer.

And they all knew that he knew the answer so they decided not to even bother wasting their breath to answer him.

"So have we all just mutually decided to just screw doing our tasks?" Sakurai asked.

"Yeah…pretty much." Said Saeki. "I know I haven't even bothered to attempt to do mine."

"Yeah, and mine's pointless and lame and doesn't have anything to do with tennis." Ryoma said, leaning back in his chair.

"Well, anything that isn't related to tennis is pretty pointless and lame." Hiyoshi said. "But there's no way your task is even as close to being as pointless and lame as mine is."

"No, I bet mine's MUCH more pointless and MUCH lamer." Ryoma said. "Besides, it's a bigger waste of time than yours because it's MY time."

"YOU are such a tool." Said Saeki.

"Me?" said Ryoma.

"Yes." Said Saeki. "THAT'S why you're always going to be the Pet."

"I thought it was because I was born a year or two later than the rest of you." Ryoma reminded them.

"Well, that too." Saeki admitted.

"But that's a better reason." Ryoma said. "Tell me I'm always going to be the Pet because I'm a tool, not because I'm born in a certain year."

"I feel like punching you." Hiyoshi said honestly.

"Only because I beat you in tennis." Ryoma said smugly.

"No, because you're a tool." Hiyoshi corrected.

"Oh." said Ryoma.

Then they all sat there silently and didn't say anything for a little while.

"Okay…" said Saeki. "We are so boring…"

"Let's play video games or something." Said Sakurai as he stood up and went to the video game counsel and turned it on.

They played a quick round that involved four people because Yukimura passed out again. And, when Ryoma arose the victor, he stood up and adjusted his hat.

"You all still have a lot to work on." Ryoma said as he walked away.

"Man, I hate that kid." Said Saeki.

"More and more every day." Sakurai agreed.

"I've had enough of him." Said Hiyoshi as he stood up and started advancing towards where Ryoma had disappeared to, but Sakurai and Saeki both leapt atop him in order to prevent any murders on their team. That would just make them look bad.


	16. In Which We Learn About Safety

Team Five  
"LAME! Lame, I feel lame… la la la la la I feel lame—I feel lame lamey lame lame lame I feel lame lame lame!" Sengoku sang to a made-up tune as he did a little jig around the kitchen.

"Oh geez, maybe that's because you ARE lame?" said Shishido angrily as he turned up the volume on the television.

"No, I feel lame because I'm wearing Itsuki's lame clothes!" said Sengoku as he ran up in front of the television and danced around in front of it. "I'm so lame! I'm so lame!"

"Get out of my way!" Shishido yelled.

"Look at how lame I am!" said Sengoku as he spun around in a circle.

"I have had enough of you!" Shishido jumped up off the couch and started chasing Sengoku around the house while he just laughed and continued yelling about how lame he is.

"Guess what, Kamio?" said Sengoku as he burst into the Parents room where Kamio was sitting on the bed reading a best selling novel. "I'm so lame! I'm so lame!"

He jumped up on the bed and bounced on it a few times.

"Get off!" Kamio ordered.

Shishido then appeared in the doorway. "He is the epitome of lameness!" Shishido yelled as he made a dive for Sengoku, but Sengoku jumped out of the way which caused Shishido to dive right into Kamio and knock him off the bed like a football player tackles a quarterback.

"Ha ha ha!" said Sengoku. "At least I'm not as lame as YOU GUYS! Neener neener NEE-NER!"

With that Sengoku ran away. Kamio and Shishido tried to get themselves out of the crack that was in between the bed and the wall and finally ended up having to move the bed.

"Oh geez." Said Kamio as he climbed up over the bed and looked so disheveled and bedraggled that he looked as though he had just had rough sex. And it certainly didn't help that Shishido arose from behind the bed a few seconds after him all tangled up in the blankets.

"I am going to kill him." Said Shishido, pounding his fist on the bed.

"Let's do it." Said Kamio.

They both got up, straightened themselves out and then started marching into the other room where Sengoku was sitting.

"Sengoku!" Shishido yelled.

Sengoku vaguely spun around in his chair.

"Hidee ho!" said Sengoku with a smile.

They were just about to dive on top of him when Itsuki came walking around the corner dressed like Sengoku.

"Guys…" whined Itsuki. "Do I look stupid?"

"You look dashing." Said Sengoku, giving him an A-OK sign.

"What was all the commotion in here about anyway?" said Itsuki as he went into the living room and sat down on the comfy chair.

"Sengoku was just being lame." Said Shishido.

"Oh." said Itsuki. "What's on TV?"

"Just a stupid Yugi Oh! rerun." Sengoku answered with a sigh.

"Lame." Said Shishido.

"Yeah." Agreed Kamio.

"Mmm." Finished Itsuki.

But that didn't stop any of them from sitting there and continuing to watch.

Team Six  
The entire family was sitting around in the living room, except for Akutsu who was pacing. 

"Guys, my head hurts like a mother." Akutsu complained as he walked around the house rubbing his head.

"That'll happen when you crash into a tree while riding a bike." Oshitari said.

"But I was wearing a helmet." Akutsu said. "I should have been totally safe from any harm whatsoever."

"A helmet won't protect you from pain, Akutsu." Said Kaidou, looking serious as he leaned forward.

"What's the point of wearing one then?" Akutsu demanded.

That's when the scene suddenly froze and went dark, except for a spotlight that appeared on Akutsu.

"Huh?" Akutsu said, looking around.

And then another spotlight appeared, and within a few seconds, Oishi walked on wearing a nice suit and looking groomed. "It's a fact," Oishi said, looking out at nobody instead at Akutsu. "About eight hundred people, including more than two hundred children, are killed annually in bicycle-related crashes nationwide, and about sixty percent of those deaths involve a head injury."

"Sixty percent?" Akutsu gaped.

"The good news?" Oishi went on.

And he paused as another spotlight appeared. Within a few more seconds, Choutarou walked into it.

"Research indicates that a helmet can reduce the risk of serious brain injury by eighty-five percent." He said, sounding amazed by that fact, but also looking out instead of at Akutsu.

Akutsu stepped forward so he was in between them both.

"That's a big difference." he commented.

"So you can easily buy a helmet that fits you." Said Oishi.

"You can buy it at a bike store, a department store or a discount store." Choutarou continued. "Any old place! They're all safe."

"Now you know." Oishi said.

"Now I do know." Akutsu agreed.

"So what are you waiting for?" Choutarou asked.

"I don't know that one." Akutsu admitted.

"Get your helmet today!" Oishi said. "Use your head." Then he turned and looked at Akutsu.

"Use a helmet." Choutarou added, also looking at Akutsu.

"It's only your brain." They both said together.

And then, all the spotlights went out and the room lit up again.

Akutsu looked around slowly.

"So, Akutsu?" Atsushi said.

"Um…" Akutsu stuttered.

"What's up?" said Ryou.

"I think I just had a really bizarre hallucination." Said Akutsu.

"Oh really?" said Oshitari. "What was it of?"

"Well…it was kind of like a public service announcement…" Akutsu started. "Actually, I'm pretty sure it WAS a public service announcement…"

"Were they stressing the use of helmets?" Atsushi asked. "Because helmets really do rock."

"Yeah…" Akutsu said. "Wearing a helmet reduces your risk of a heady injury by eighty-five percent…"

Akutsu looked around the room.

"I think I'm going to go lie down for a little while…" he said, walking off towards the Kids room. "And then I'm going to go buy my own helmet…"

"That Akutsu!" said Ryou.

"He's a nutcase!" Atsushi agreed.

Then he quickly checked behind him to make sure he wasn't there to hear that.

Team Seven  
Renji and Inui were comparing data that they had gathered from the silly little race they had just participated in. 

Jirou was fully awake again now that it was almost time for everyone to go to sleep. Which didn't make too many people happy.

"Guys, what's going on right now?" Jirou said, putting his hands on his hips. "Why am I wearing this stupid pet collar? I woke up briefly at the challenge and noticed that there was a bunch of other people with collars too. I thought I was the Dad! What's the deal?"

"We changed you to the Pet out of spite." Sanada said.

"What?" said Jirou. "When did that happen?"

"This morning." Renji answered.

"This morning?" Jirou said. "Where was I?"

"You were sleeping." Renji answered.

"Yeah, I probably was…" Jirou nodded. "So why did you guys make me the Pet anyway?"

"Out of spite because you're always sleeping." Tetsu answered.

"However." Inui said, whipping out his book and opening up to a page. "I have made some keen observations that I feel as though you all should hear, especially since we will be switching the family around again tomorrow."

"This won't take too long, will it?" Tetsu asked with a yawn. "I'm ready for bed right now."

"It's like four pages." Inui said.

"Is it double spaced?" Sanada asked.

"No." Inui answered.

"And when you say four pages…" Jirou started.

"Four pages front and back." Inui interrupted. "So technically I guess it's eight pages."

There was a slight collective groan, except for Renji who looked interested.

"I will summarize." Said Inui, adjusting his glasses.

"Thank you." Said Sanada.

Inui looked at his book. "I have noticed that the Pet challenges tend to be the most physical, and no doubt this trend shall continue." Inui began. "So forcing Jirou to be the Pet out of spite will only cause us to continue to fail at the Pet parts of the challenges."

"An interesting observation." Renji commented.

"In the first challenge, the Brother and the Sister had to work together." Inui went on as if there had been no interjection. "And in the second one, the Mom and Dad had to work together. The Pet has been alone both times. No doubt this trend shall continue."

Inui adjusted his glasses again while everyone waited for him to get to the point.

"So the Mom and Dad should be two people who work well together, as should the Brother and Sister." Inui said.

"What do you suggest?" Renji questioned.

"Well, considering you and I have known each other for many years, I would suggest leaving us in the role of Mom and Dad, or the roles of Sister and Brother." Inui answered. "And I believe Tetsu and Jirou would be best to work together as the pair that is not occupied by the two of us."

"Wait, why like that?" Tetsu asked.

"You two have been bonding over the last two days." Inui answered.

"How?" said Tetsu. "He's sleeping all the time."

"You two stayed up all night together." Said Renji. "You've bonded."

"So are you suggesting that I be the Pet?" Sanada said, standing up and looking threatening.

"I am." Inui replied.

"I think it sounds like a good idea." Said Jirou. "Me and Tetsu get to be the Mom and Dad though!"

"Considering Tetsu is only in his second year, I think it would be best if he remained in the Brother-Sister group." Inui said.

Jirou gasped and looked at Tetsu. "You're only a second year?" he said.

"Um…yeah…" said Tetsu.

"Why are you so freakin' huge?" Jirou said.

Tetsu looked sad.

Team Eight  
"All right, I am not even going to BOTHER talking to that guy anymore!" said Yuuta as he marched away from the Parents room and into the living room where Atobe, Bane and Jackal were chillaxing. "You know what he said to me? YOU KNOW WHAT HE SAID TO ME?" 

"Uh…no." said Bane. "We were out here."

"He said that I had to sleep on the couch tonight!" Yuuta said, his voice's pitch rising because he was THAT appalled.

"Well of course you have to." Said Atobe, standing up. "For I am sleeping in that room. With no company."

Atobe strode into around the corner.

"Good luck talking to him!" said Yuuta, crossing his arms.

After about two seconds of Atobe being in the Parent's room, Shinji came flying out, skidding across the ground and finally landed on his arse. Atobe waved to Yuuta and then slammed the door shut.

"Are you okay?" said Jackal, standing up.

"I'm fine." Said Shinji, getting up as well. "Physical scars are easy to heal. I've been cut deeper before."

He looked at Yuuta and then scoffed at him in a huff.

"Yikes." Said Yuuta.

"I think you two need to make up." Said Bane. "I can't stand to see two people fight so much. It's also annoying."

"Tell me about it." Said Yuuta. "It was my random task that I had to do today and you are just taking it WAY too far!"

"Random…task?" Shinji said.

"Yeah." Said Yuuta. "I was supposed to start a fight with you and then apologize, but you never really accepted it."

Shinji gasped and looked happy. "That's…WONDERFUL news!" he turned around and hugged Yuuta. "I'm so glad you don't really want me to get a haircut!"

Yuuta wanted to tell him that he DID want him to get a haircut, but then he wisely came to the conclusion that that was the worst idea he had ever had in probably his entire life.

"Yeah…for the task! Haha!" said Yuuta nervously.

"I'm so glad you guys are friends again." Said Jackal. He paused and stared at Shinji still hugging Yuuta. "You guys… are just friends, aren't you?"

"Yes, of course!" Yuuta said, pushing Shinji away. "If even that!"

"I think you might be taking that a little too far." Shinji frowned. "I consider us to be friends. Why don't you?"

"Oh." said Yuuta. "Only because we're on opposing tennis teams. I'm sure if we were on the same one then we'd be BFFL's. How could we not be? You know?" Yuuta laughed nervously as Shinji crossed his arms and looked a little cross. "Um… ha…ha…?"

"All right, fine." Said Shinji.

"Oh good." Said Yuuta.

"I wonder who the individual winner will be tomorrow?" Bane wondered randomly. "We all kind of sucked in the challenge today. Except for me. I did okay."

"I did okay too." Said Jackal.

"You exploded." Bane reminded him.

"Hey, FUJI was there." Jackal said as if it was a HUGE DEAL. And it was.

"All right, all right, you guys don't start fighting too." Said Yuuta. "I say we all get to bed so we can get an early start on whatever torture or coaches are going to put us through tomorrow. What do you think?"

"I think that's a great idea." Shinji nodded.

"Right, and you said that I was sleeping on the couch tonight sooooo…" Yuuta looked over at the couch that was empty.

"You got the couch last night, MISTER." Said Shinji.

"Fine, fine…" grumbled Yuuta.


	17. In Which We Just Don't Get It

Morning Three  
Team One  
"The mail, the mail, the mail…" Kirihara awoke at the crack of dawn and ran out to the mailbox. He just KNEW he had won the individual challenge from yesterday's challenge simply because he had been SO determined and SO awesome and he tried as hard as he could… 

He flung open the mailbox so intensely that the hinges came off and the door dropped to the ground.

But he didn't care. He reached in, grabbed the envelope and then read the name on the front.

_"Fuji Shuusuke."_

Kirihara dropped to his knees. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" he yelled dramatically in a style reminiscent of Darth Vader.

This caused everyone else in the house to awaken as Kirihara trudged back inside.

"What is it?" Fuji asked as Kirihara handed him the letter and moped.

"As if you don't know!" said Kirihara.

"That's a good point." Fuji nodded as he opened the letter. "Oh look! Because of my outstanding performance in the challenge yesterday, I have the opportunity to switch around the family today."

"Do they know that you took out everyone in your event, or did they think you were just that good?" Mizuki questioned.

Fuji glared at him as Scary Creepy Fuji.

"I think you will remain the Pet, Mizuki." Fuji said, folding the letter up and putting it on the table.

"Well, I expected it." Said Mizuki.

"That's too bad, because the shock might have killed you." Said Fuji plainly. Then he looked at the remaining family members. "Well, Taka, you can remain the Dad since you seem to like it so much."

"Really?" said Taka. "Thanks!"

"Anything." Fuji said, and suddenly Taka didn't feel that happy anymore. "And… well, I want to try my hand at cooking so…and the Parents' bed was so much more comfortable…"

He removed the Brother hat he was wearing.

"I will be the Mom." He said.

"You know, I don't really mind all THAT much if you switch me, being the Dad isn't really that much fun…" Taka tried.

"Let's see…" Fuji held out his hand and accepted the Mom apron from Yana, and also took Kirihara's bow. Then he handed the bow to Yana. "There you go. You're the Sister now."

"Aw man." Said Yana sadly.

"So I guess I'm the Brother then?" Kirihara sighed as he held out his hand to take the hat from Fuji.

But Fuji didn't move. "Our family is going to have two Pets today." He said.

"WHAT?" yelled Kirihara irrationally. "You can't do that!"

"I can't?" said Fuji. "I just did."

Kirihara looked like he was going to explode with rage, but Taka came over to hold him back. "It's all right!" he said. "Just accept it! There's nothing we can do about it!"

"Yes there is!" said Kirihara. "I am SICK of bowing to his every whim! I am going to do something about it!"

Kirihara then grabbed a chair and hurled it at Fuji.

Fuji stood there for a second and then batted the chair away with the back of his hand as if it weighed nothing so it went careening towards Mizuki and knocked him over.

Kirihara's eyes were bloodshot and he was breathing deeply and scarily. Fuji was only standing there, his eyes still open and scaryyyyy.

"Yes." Said Fuji, offering him the Brother hat. "I can't help but respect that."

Kirihara tore the Brother hat away from Fuji and put it on as if nothing could thrill him more.

"WHAT?" said Mizuki, pushing aside the rubble of the chair. "All we have to do is throw a chair at him?"

"I wouldn't recommend it." Fuji smiled, going back into Pleasant Mode.

Team Two  
"So how did everyone sleep?" Momo said cheerfully as the four "human" members of the family sat around the kitchen table. Eiji was off frolicking and playing the Eskimo way. Or angsting. Either one. 

Gakuto, Choutarou and Marui all looked depressed.

Momo hesitantly took another bite of his omelet du fromage.

"…What…?" he said. "Or…do I not want to know…?"

"I miss –insert name of doubles partner here--." Gakuto and Shishido and Marui all sighed.

"Hey!" said Momo. "Do you guys EVER think about ANYTHING else?"

"I think about the dolphins." Choutarou sniffed. "But nothing else."

"Nothing." Gakuto and Marui admitted.

Just then Eiji entered in a less enthusiastic manner than he had the previous morning with the mail. Only Momo looked as though he might break into the Mail Time song, but he wasn't going to do it ALONE. That would just be annoying.

"It's for you, Ootori." Said Eiji. Choutarou stood and Eiji sat down in his seat.

"Oh, I'm the individual winner again." Choutarou reported. "They say, '_for literally carrying your team forward—'_"

"That was my idea!" complained Gakuto. "There was no other way to do it!"

"So now I guess I have to change the family." Choutarou said.

"I think maybe you should put yourself into a male role." Momo suggested. "Just because you're taking this Mom thing too seriously."

"You don't think I make a good Mom?" Choutarou said, his eyes welding with tears.

"No, no, no!" Momo said as he ran over and comforted Choutarou. "I never said that! It's just…you probably make TOO GOOD of a Mom."

"Besides, Ootori's the only one who can cook." Marui added.

"Good point." Said Momo. "You should stay the Mom, Ootori."

Choutarou wiped away his tears and nodded. Then he looked around the room. "Well, I don't want everything to stay the same…"

"You should make me the Dad!" said Momo. "Wasn't I a great Dad?"

"But you've already had a turn." Choutarou reminded him.

"So?" said Momo.

"I have an idea!" said Choutarou. "I'll make EIJI the Dad!"

"WHAT?" Eiji practically shrieked as he jumped to his feet. "Make ME the Dad? Why? I love being the Pet!"

"You might love being the Dad too!" said Choutarou.

"But I don't…I don't…I miss Oishi!" then Eiji threw his collar across the room, burst into tears and ran out.

"What about the rest of us?" Gakuto asked.

"Oh it doesn't really matter." Shrugged Choutarou. "The rest of you can stay what you are."

"But Eiji's what I am now." Gakuto pointed out.

"Then you be whatever Eiji was." Choutarou explained.

"The PET?" Gakuto gasped.

"Sure." Choutarou shrugged.

"Hey, Ootori, if you win again, can you make ME the Dad?" Marui asked.

"Of course!" said Choutarou. "You're the only one who hasn't gotten a turn."

"Hurray!" cheered Marui.

Momo sighed sadly. HE wanted to be the Dad. He also thought he had done pretty well in the challenge and almost felt like he should have won. He went over to the refrigerator and opened it up. "I'm hungry…" he said.

"You just ate an omelet." Gakuto said.

"We don't really have anything to eat." Momo said.

"Who's fault do you think that is?" Gakuto continued

"Maybe we have to go food shopping…" Choutarou concluded.

Team Three  
"I can't BELIEVE our coaches awarded Tezuka as the individual winner of yesterday's challenge!" griped Tachibana. 

"I know!" said Aoi. "What is the deal with that? I mean, just because the race was pretty much over by the time I got my turn doesn't mean I didn't try my hardest and do really well! Have you ever heard of anyone who swam five laps of a full length pool in under thirty-five seconds?"

"And it is all Tezuka's fault that we lost." David said. "He injured his shoulder in the middle of the race."

Then David started chuckling.

Tachibana and Aoi stared at him and tried to figure out what the pun was.

"GET IT?" laughed David as he slapped his knee.

"…No…" Aoi and Tachibana raised their eyebrows.

"You had to be there, I guess." Said David but that just didn't make sense.

"And Tezuka's such a jerk too." Tachibana went on, deciding to ignore David all together. "I mean, the least he could have done was made YOU the Pet and made ME the Sister!"

"I think he likes you being the Pet." Said Aoi.

"Yeah but his plan is to keep the both of us as the Pet and the Sister so he could have switched us or something." Tachibana said.

"The only one here who should be offended is ME!" said David. "Tezuka chose… KABAJI… over ME!"

David buried his face in his hands and started to cry.

"There, there, David." Said Aoi. "I know you loved wearing the apron, but you'll get used to the Brother hat."

"But I bet Kabaji has fleas or something!" David whined, scratching his head.

"Speaking of Kabaji, where is he?" Tachibana said.

The three looked at each other.

"The doghouse." They all said together.

"All right, look." Said Aoi, slamming his fist down on the table. "We all have to band together and whatever the next challenge is, we must sabotage Tezuka and make sure he does NOT win the individual challenge."

"That's a good idea…" said Tachibana. "Why didn't we think of it before?"

"Guys, think about it." Said David. "Tezuka is the reason we lost the challenge yesterday yet he still won the individual part of it. What could we possibly do to make him look worse than he did yesterday?"

"I think they just gave him the win because he tried so hard or whatever." Said Tachibana, rolling his eyes.

"We have to make sure he doesn't work well with us and messes up when it's REALLY important!" said Aoi.

"Even if it means losing the challenge!" agreed Tachibana as he put his hand out. "Are we going to make this our personal mission?"

"YES!" cheered David and Aoi as they put their hands in the center as well and they all jumped up into the air.

Then they stood there silently.

"Do you guys feel randomly compelled to go into the Parents room?" Aoi said to the others.

"Damn Tezuka and his stupid Zone…" Tachibana said as they all went into the Parents room where Tezuka was glowing (cause he was in his Zone in case you didn't get that from Tachibana before) snuggled up under the covers.

"What do you want?" said Aoi.

"Could you shut the door?" he asked. "You're all being too loud and I want to take a nap."

The three looked at each other and slowly shut the door.

"Do you think he heard what our devious plan was?" David said nervously.

"Does it matter?" said Tachibana. "There's nothing he can do to stop us as long as we come up with a strategy!"

"Let's go out on the back porch this time, though." Aoi suggested.

"YEY!" they all cheered, doing their little jump again.

Team Four  
"Did you expect anyone else to win?" Hiyoshi said as he adjusted his brand new tool belt around his waist. "After all, the rest of you guys did nothing or were totally average." 

The rest of the family watched him enviously. THEY wanted that tool belt. But especially Ryoma.

"Didn't you skip one of your laps?" said Saeki as he applied his new bow.

"No." Hiyoshi snapped. Other than the simple switch, no one else changed.

"Wow, this is like a DIVORCE!" said Sakurai to Saeki. "It's the first time we haven't been the Mom and Dad."

"Part of me feels sad." Said Saeki. "But not REALLY…"

"Yeah…not really." Sakurai agreed.

Then everyone folded his hands and stared at each other.

"Guys," said Ryoma. "About what Hiyoshi just said. About our team doing nothing or being average. I think we have to change that."

"I just don't feel motivated to do anything." Said Sakurai. "I… well, it's embarrassing… but I miss Tachibana."

"Tachibana?" Yukimura inquired.

"My coach, of course!" said Sakurai. "But he's so much more than a coach. He's like a best friend and a brother and an inspiration to everyone around him!"

"Sounds like you have a crush on him." Said Hiyoshi.

"No!" said Sakurai. "I just idolize him. Don't any of you miss your captains?"

"Miss our captains…?" the others repeated.

"Yeah." Said Sakurai. "Miss training with them all the time… hearing their words of wisdom… facing each new day and new challenge head on with their guidance and support…? You know, that kind of stuff."

"Ahhh…" said Hiyoshi with a nod. "No."

"Eh." Said Ryoma with a shrug.

"Not really for me." Said Saeki. "I always kind of resented the fact that Aoi was our captain because he's a first year."

"I AM the captain." Said Yukimura with horseshoe eyes. "And I don't think my team misses me because I'm gone all the time anyway."

"Wow…" said Sakurai, looking shocked that they would have that kind of reaction. "I can't imagine a world in which I had a captain that WASN'T Tachibana. What do you have against your captains that makes you not miss them to the extent in which I miss Tachibana?"

"Well…have you met Atobe?" Hiyoshi leaned in.

"No, not really…" Sakurai answered.

"Then of course you couldn't understand." Hiyoshi said, looking out the window wistfully. Then he opened the window so the wind could blow his hair wistfully as well.

"And I don't really have anything against my captain." Ryoma said. "It's just I'm not in love with him like you're in love with Tachibana."

"I'm not in love with him!" whined Sakurai.

"Yes you are." Said Saeki.

"What the hell?" said Sakurai. "That is the LAST time I'm going to go out on a limb and share my feelings with you guys!"

"Don't feel that way." Said Yukimura as he put his arm around Sakurai. "You should be able to share everything with us. After all, we're your fake family. And if you can't share your feelings with your fake family, then who can you share your feelings with?"

The wistful wind from Hiyoshi's wistful window blew on Yukimura and made him look wistful as well. And there were sparkles.

But then Sakurai politely drew away.

"You're not contagious or anything, are you?" he said nervously.


	18. In Which There is a Murder

Team Five  
It was morning 'round these parts, so that meant it was time to get the mail. Oishi was sitting on the front porch in a style similar to how Kamio had the day before entirely by coincidence.

He was GOING to wait until a reasonable hour until he awoke the household and informed them that Shishido Ryou had received a letter from the coaches, but he realized how absurd he was being. After all, they had just made him sleep outside.

So he rang the doorbell and, as it turned out, most of them were up already. Simply by chance, Shishido answered the door.

"Is that the letter for the winner?" Shishido said, holding out his hand.

"Yes." Said Oishi. "And…it's for you."

"Oh look at how excited I am." Said Shishido as he took the letter and ripped it open. "Come in already so I don't have to stand here like an idiot."

Oishi came in and shut the door. They went into the kitchen.

Kamio choked on his Cinnamon Toast Crunch and pointed at Oishi. "No way!" he yelled. "He's an outside pet!"

"Not anymore." Said Shishido, waving the letter around. "I'm changing the family around cause I won yesterday."

Everyone threw their articles that indicated which family member they were into a pile on the kitchen table.

"You?" Kamio demanded. "You were the one who kept throwing me off my rhythm! I did so much better than you!"

"Don't talk to me like that when I have the authority to make you the outside Pet again." Shishido warned.

"Oh, like you won't do it anyway." Sniffed Kamio. "I'm the only second year on the team!"

"You know…that's a good point." Shishido nodded. "And, if not for the fact that Sengoku recently annoyed me SO MUCH, I probably would have made you the Pet again. But, as I previously stated…"

He looked at Sengoku who was slowly chewing HIS Cinnamon Toast Crunch.

"I was so sure that anyone except you was going to win." Said Sengoku, his mouth full.

"Well, you're the Pet now." Said Shishido as he handed Sengoku the Pet collar. "And just so you know…yes, you're an OUTSIDE PET." Shishido chuckled satisfyingly as Sengoku looked sad. "How lame do you feel now?"

"Pretty lame." Sengoku admitted.

Then Shishido picked up the tool belt.

"I'M the Dad now." He announced.

"Surprise surprise." Said Itsuki.

"And Kamio, since you're the second year as you just said, you can be the Sister." Shishido said.

"Aw…" Kamio said sadly as he took the bow. "It doesn't look good with my hairstyle."

"And…" Shishido picked up the apron and the hat. "Well…Oishi, you were kind of psychotic when you were the Mom so you can be the Brother, and you can be the Mom, Itsuki."

Shishido passed out the remaining articles.

Then he clapped his hands together. "Now who wants to help me get our Pet outside?"

"Can't I just finish my Cinnamon Toast Crunch first?" Sengoku pleaded.

"That's already your second bowl!" Shishido said as if that sort of thing REALLY annoyed him.

"Let me just finish it first!" Sengoku begged as he started shoveling more cereal in his mouth

"Now you're talking with your mouth full, chewing with your mouth open and biting off more than you can chew!" Shishido said as he stomped over, grabbed Sengoku by the collar and started dragging him over to the door.

The others just watched as Shishido tossed Sengoku out the door and slammed it shut.

Shishido reentered the kitchen. "Finally…" he said as if he had been working to get Sengoku out the door for more than like five seconds.

Team Six  
"If you two don't fess up and tell me which one of you I hate and which one of you I have no opinion on then so help me…!" Kaidou said threateningly as he stood in front of the twins. 

"You hate him!" they both said frantically as they pointed at each other.

"You two—!" Kaidou started rolling him his sleeves just as Oshitari came out of the Kids room with sleepy hair and his Superman pajamas.

"What's going on so early in the morning?" he said with a yawn.

"They won't tell me which one of them is the one that I hate!" said Kaidou angrily.

"Why does it matter?" said Oshitari.

"Hey!" said Atsushi and Ryou.

"I won the individual challenge the other day, and I have to reassign the family and I can't remember which one I hate." Said Kaidou. "Because I want to make one of them the Pet."

"Can you remember why you hate the one you hate?" Oshitari said as he sat down and folded his hands.

"Not really, and that makes me even madder." Said Kaidou angrily as he glared at the twins.

"You know, the reason why I cut my hair and wear this bandana all the time is to avoid this kind of confusion…" Atsushi sighed.

"Then why don't you just forget about hating them?" Oshitari suggested.

"But that's not fair because I DO hate one of them!" said Kaidou.

"Then hate them both." Oshitari shrugged as if it was no big deal.

"No, don't hate them both!" said Ryou and Atsushi together.

"Fine, fine…" Kaidou peered very closely at both of them. Then he pointed right in Ryou's face. "You look like a girl, so you'll be the Mom."

"Aw man!" exclaimed Ryou.

"And before you start laughing, you can be the Pet." Kaidou said, pointing at Atsushi.

"Aw man!" exclaimed Atsushi.

Kaidou crossed his arms. "That worked out okay." He decided. Then he looked back at Oshitari who was just sitting there idly by. "Thanks."

"Whatever." Said Oshitari. "It's not like it was THAT huge of a problem."

"You can be the Brother." Kaidou offered. "Because of course I'm the Dad. Which makes Akutsu the Sister."

"Hallelujah." Said Oshitari.

"Well now that THAT'S over with, I'm going on my morning run." Said Kaidou. "I'll be back in a couple of hours."

Kaidou then flung open the door and departed.

"Who wants to be the one who gives Akutsu his bow for the day?" Oshitari said to Atsushi and Ryou.

"Hahaha…very funny…" said Ryou.

"How is he anyway?" said Atsushi. "I mean, he was hallucinating about public service announcements and stuff last night."

"Well I don't really know." Said Oshitari. "He was snoring last night so I smothered him with a pillow for a few minutes, and after that he was pretty quiet."

Ryou and Atsushi stared at Oshitari who only took a sip of water as if what he just said didn't sound remarkably like murder.

"Hahaha…very…funny?" Atsushi tried.

"What is?" said Oshitari.

"Um…never mind…" said Atsushi hesitantly.

"Say, is he one of the types that wakes up late or early?" Ryou asked.

"Hm…late I think…" Oshitari said, looking like he was in deep thought.

"Well good." The twins gave a sigh of relief and then they glared at each other. Cause, you know, they don't really like each other that much.

Team Seven  
Everyone was sitting around the living room absolutely silently. Suddenly, Tetsu slapped his hands together, which made everyone jump, and also woke up Jirou. 

"What was that all about?" demanded Sanada.

"Mosquito…" Tetsu answered, opening his hands up. But the mosquito just sort of flew away and wasn't smooshed. But it definitely looked like he received brain damage from the impact.

"Wake me up when something interesting happens…actually, never mind…" Jirou said, rolling over and falling back asleep.

There was more silence, except for the sound of Inui and Renji scribbling in their notebooks.

"Are you guys mad at me?" Tetsu asked.

"No." said Renji and Inui at the same time.

"Well then how did you know I was talking to you?" Tetsu tried.

Renji and Inui froze and then looked at each other, then over at Tetsu.

"What makes you think we're mad at you?" Renji asked.

"I don't know." Said Tetsu. "You're acting as though you are."

"You didn't follow my plan for reassigning the families." Inui said.

"Yes I did!" said Tetsu. "You said to make you and Renji either the Sister and Brother or the Mom and Dad! And then to make me and Jirou and me whatever you guys weren't! And to make Sanada the Pet! I DID that!"

Inui looked back at his notebook.

"Oh." said Tetsu. "Did…you guys want to be the Mom and Dad?"

"Maybe." Said Inui and Renji.

"I wanted a turn to be the Dad…" Tetsu sniffled, sad that everyone was mad at him. And he missed Tachibana. SO MUCH.

"Well, all of you stop being so childish." Said Sanada. "Look at me. I am gracefully accepting the role of the Pet for the betterment of my team and it's about time all of you did the same."

The other three bowed their heads in shame.

"He's right." Renji said.

"We ARE being childish." Inui agreed.

"We're acting like elementary school kids." Said Tetsu. "We should act our age and be mature middle school kids."

"Right." Renji and Inui agreed.

"That's more like it." Said Sanada. "That's how mature middle school students act."

Just then, the handicapped mosquito landed on Sanada's big ugly nose.

Sanada stared at it via crossing his eyes.

Everyone else stared at the mosquito as well.

"I thought I killed that mosquito." Said Tetsu, looking at his hands.

"Apparently not." Inui adjusted his glasses.

Sanada slapped his nose where the mosquito was and then took his hand away from his face. Oddly enough, the mosquito survived and even found the strength to fly away.

Even WITH a massive amount of brain damage and lots of broken body parts, the mosquito will live on until its very short lifespan finally comes to an end.

"Now I have a mosquito bite at the end of my nose…" whined Sanada as he itched his nose.

Then they all watched the extremely disabled mosquito land on Jirou's face and start to suck his blood. They all tried to stifle their laughter as the mosquito got fatter and fatter and stupider looking and stupider looking.

But that's when Jirou moved his head slightly and then slapped his face where the mosquito was. The family gasped and half expected the mosquito to be alive.

Jirou lowered his hand and did not awaken, but he revealed that he had blood covering half of his face and all over his hand.

"It…might be okay…" said Tetsu.

"There is a zero percent chance that mosquito survived." Inui reported.

Team Eight  
"As soon as I turn this envelope over, we will discover who the individual winner is from yesterday." Said Yuuta as he held the letter upside down. He was into the anticipation, I guess. 

"Well, we know it's not Atobe because he didn't do anything." Said Bane, counting off on his fingers. "Not Jackal because he exploded, not you or Shinji because you failed at working together at ALL…" Bane leaned back in his chair. "Hate to say it, guys, but it looks as though I'M probably going to be the winner this time around."

"Let me see that." Said Atobe as he took the letter from Yuuta.

"Hey!" said Yuuta. "We were all enjoying the anticipation!"

"I wasn't." said Atobe. "And that's all that's important."

Atobe then looked down at the face of the letter and cracked a smile. He started chuckling, which eventually turned into all out laughter at the sight of the name on the front.

"Was I right?" Bane asked.

"I think he's laughing AT you, not WITH you." Jackal said.

"At the risk of sounding crude by using this phrase…" Atobe turned the envelope around and showed it to them. "Read it and weep."

_Atobe Keigo_.

"WHAT?" they all yelled, running over to get a closer look.

"How could YOU have won?" demanded Yuuta as he took the letter away and opened it up.

Atobe didn't really seem to care as he just walked around pointing confidently at the rest of the family.

"What is this?" said Yuuta furiously. "_After reviewing your team's attempts in the challenge, we established that you all performed horribly, and therefore we had no choice but to declare Atobe the individual winner, because there's always a chance that he could have done a good job had he gotten the opportunity."_

"That's nothing to be proud of." Said Shinji to Atobe who looked quite proud of himself.

"I just find it ironic." Said Atobe. "Because if I HAD been given the chance, I wouldn't have done anything anyway."

"Why am I not surprised?" said Jackal with a sigh.

"So let me guess…" said Yuuta. "I'm the Pet now, aren't I?"

Atobe looked as though he was going to answer in the affirmative, but instead he only put his hand up in front of his face in his special way and smiled cruelly.

"No." he answered.

"No?" repeated everyone.

"You may all stay in your currently family roles." Atobe clarified.

"Wait…so you're CHOOSING to remain the Pet?" Yuuta said.

"Yes." Said Atobe. "That is what I am doing."

Everyone's mouths hung open as Atobe walked backwards to the Parents room while pointing at them all.

"He's TAUNTING us!" Bane said finally.

"But he's got a point in his taunting." Shinji said. "It really doesn't make a difference to anyone that he's the Pet. He gets the best room and he gets to push us around."

"He's just showing that he doesn't need to be the Dad in order to be in charge." Yuuta frowned.

"How enraging!" said Jackal. "Let's show him and change his role the next time one of us win!"

"And what exactly would that do?" Bane inquired. "Then not only would he continue to push us around, but one of us would have to wear the Pet collar."

"You know, he probably LIKES wearing that." Yuuta said.

"It DOES go with that shirt he was wearing." Shinji agreed.

The entire team let out a helpless sigh.


	19. In Which They Try To Stay Positive

Day Three  
Team One  
Fuji picked up a triangle and rang it vigorously. He waited a mere five seconds before the family all shuffled into the kitchen.

"Lunch is ready." Fuji announced.

They all looked at the kitchen table that was candlelit and had nice little set-ups at all four seats. Each placemat had a plate on it with a peanut-butter sandwich on it.

"Wow." Said Mizuki as he went over to the table. "Peanut-butter sandwiches. You definitely got the opportunity to try cooking."

"Oh, that's not your seat, Mizuki." Said Fuji, guiding Mizuki to the other side of the table where there was a little nameplate in front of the plate with the name 'Mizuki' on it. "This is yours."

"Assigned seats?" Yana said.

Fuji nodded happily and gestured for them all to sit.

Everyone took their seats and then there was silence.

"Aren't…you going to eat too…?" Kirihara said to Fuji.

"No." Fuji answered. "I'm not hungry."

The four at the table stared at each other.

Fuji only stood there and didn't say anything. He had his hands in the pockets of the Mom apron.

"You know, I'm not that hungry…" Taka said, lightly pushing the plate away.

"But Taka…I made that sandwich especially for you." Said Fuji.

"Yeah, I think I'm with Taka on this one." Kirihara said. "I'm not hungry."

"These are all special sandwiches I made especially for all of you." Fuji said, crossing his arms. And then he transitioned to Scary Creepy Fuji. "You will not leave this kitchen until all the sandwiches are finished."

"Couldn't I just fill up the bathtub and drop the radio in it instead…?" Mizuki sunk in his seat.

"You can do that after." Fuji offered genuinely.

Still, everyone did not touch their food.

"Oh right!" said Fuji. "I almost forgot the beverages!"

Fuji went to the refrigerator and pulled out the Kool-Aid. Then, after briefly looking back at the family at the table, he grabbed four glasses and retreated into the other room.

"He's going to kill us all…" Yana whispered just as Fuji returned with the four glasses filled.

"Here we are!" he said as he gave everyone a glass. "Oh wait, no this one is Mizuki's…" He quickly exchanged the glass Taka was holding with the glass Mizuki was holding.

Mizuki held the glass nervously and then slowly put it down.

"Fuji, what's in these drinks?" Yana asked, putting his down as well.

"Kool-Aid." Fuji answered.

Kirihara drummed his fingers on the table. "Fuji, do you hate me?" he asked.

"Hm?" Fuji said. "No, not really."

"Even though I blinded you during that tennis match we had?" Kirihara said.

Fuji paused. "Oh right…" he nodded. "I forgot about that." Then he smiled and became pleasant again. "I can't believe I forgot about that."

Kirihara slapped his forehead.

Fuji put his hands on his hips. "Isn't anyone going to eat the meal I prepared?" he asked.

"Frankly Fuji, we're afraid you put poison in our meals." Taka said.

Fuji didn't initially react. "How silly." Said Fuji as he backed out of the kitchen and disappeared in the hallway.

Everyone ran to the window and quickly tossed their sandwiches and all their beverages out. Then they all prayed to their appointed God that somehow they'd make it through the rest of the week.

Team Two  
"Are you sure we're allowed to walk on the highway?" Momo asked as he and the rest of his family walked along the highway while carrying groceries that they had obviously just gotten. 

"Well, we don't have a car, and even if we did we can't drive so what are our options?" Gakuto pointed out.

Just then, someone drove by and rolled down his window. "HIPPIES!" he screamed and then laughed with his friend.

"We are NOT hippies." Said Marui, glaring at the car as it drove away.

"I'm pretty sure we're not allowed to walk on the highway." Momo said.

"My hands are starting to hurt!" Eiji complained.

"Here, let me take some of the bags you're carrying." Choutarou offered as he walked over and took like practically all of his bags. "You just carry the milk."

"But the milk is cold…" Eiji whined.

"Okay, how about you carry the milk, Momo?" Choutarou suggested.

"The milk is going to be cold if I carry it too." Momo said. "AND I'm carrying lots of bags already. I'm sure you'll survive."

"Is that any way to talk to your superior?" demanded Eiji.

"Sorry." Said Momo. "Maybe it's just that I'm frustrated with this whole situation we've been forced into, and the company doesn't make it any better, you know?"

His four family members stopped walking and gave him questioning expressions.

"I'm just saying," Momo tried to fix things. "You guys are all WAY too obsessed with playing doubles and all you ever talk about is how much you miss playing doubles or actually miss the person you play doubles with."

The four of them gave heavy sighs in remembrance of playing doubles or the person they play doubles with.

"See?" said Momo. "See what I mean?"

"Momo, if YOU played doubles, you'd understand." Eiji said.

"I DO play doubles!" Momo reminded him. "Remember I played doubles with you that time? And how I played a few times with Kaidou, and a few times with Ryoma. Face it guys. I've probably played doubles more than I have played singles."

The other four looked at each other.

"Well, if THAT'S true…" Choutarou started. "Then…why don't you miss your doubles partner?"

"Because—" Momo began but then he quickly realized that saying, "Because I'm not a clingy bitchy doubles player who can't play with anyone except one person in the world!" was kind of a bad idea so he decided to rephrase. "Because… I'm more… versatile…?"

"Hm?" said all the family.

"I play with lots of different people." Momo said, just going with it. "AND I've played some singles matches. So I can survive without my partner. Maybe if you guys ever played tennis with someone who WASN'T your appointed partner ALL THE TIME or even played a few singles matches, then you wouldn't be going through this withdrawal."

Silence.

They looked like they were mulling it over.

But Momo's hope for the chance that everything would change in an instant was dashed when he suddenly began to notice that their faces were changing from thoughtful consideration to utter disgust.

"Play with someone BESIDES Shishido?" Choutarou finally broke the silence. "But I would never betray his trust like that!"

"Yeah!" said Gakuto. "Oshitari would NEVER forgive me!"

"That's just crazy talk!" Marui added.

"You can be SO insensitive sometimes!" Eiji said, bursting into tears. All the other doubles people comforted him while glaring at Momo.

"…" Momo stared at them in disbelief.

Team Three  
"Tezuka, is your arm going to be better for the challenge today?" Tachibana asked as everyone sat around the kitchen table. And they had enough chairs, too, because of Tachibana's special chair he made. 

"Are you concerned?" Tezuka asked. "Or are you hoping it won't be better so I won't win the individual aspect of the challenge and you all won't have to sabotage me?"

"Sabotage you?" Aoi demanded probably TOO quickly and in a voice that was probably a little TOO enraged.

"We would NEVER plan such a horrible thing!" said David.

"We are fighting for the good of the team." Said Tachibana.

"What gave you an idea like…like we were trying to SABOTAGE you?" said Aoi, looking BEYOND confused.

"Oh I don't know." Said Tezuka, folding his hands and looking ultra serious that it was a little intimidating. "Probably that I overheard you and your cohorts discussing it earlier this morning."

Aoi, Tachibana and David all lowered their heads in shame.

"I'm sorry." Said David.

"I'm sorrier." Aoi agreed.

"I'm the sorriest of all." Tachibana nodded.

"No you're not." Aoi said.

"Yes I am." Tachibana argued with a glare.

"That'll be twenty laps around the house." Tezuka said.

Tachibana, Aoi and David all raised their heads.

"What did you just say?"

"Twenty laps around the house." Tezuka repeated. "For conspiring against your captain. I think it's a rather generous punishment if I say so myself. Now go and get that done before I decide to make it thirty."

"Um…Tezuka, perhaps you didn't notice, but you're not OUR captain." Tachibana leaned on.

"Yes I am." Tezuka said. "Have you already forgotten my speech I made yesterday?"

"Something about this team only needing one captain, but that doesn't make you OUR captain." Aoi said.

"I'm my own captain." Tachibana said.

"As am I." Aoi agreed.

"Aoi's MY captain." Said David.

"Do you feel this way too, Kabaji?" said Tezuka.

"Yes." Said Kabaji.

Tezuka leaned back and considered the information he had just received from his family members.

"Hm." Said Tezuka, readjusting himself in his seat and looking at all the faces waiting for him to respond. "I thought we had got past that issue. Apparently I was wrong. I confess myself… disappointed."

Tezuka then stood up.

"Fifty laps around the house." He ordered, pointing at the door. "And think about how you have defied me. All of you."

"Tezuka…were you even listening to us just now?" Tachibana asked.

"I'm going to use the bathroom and by the time I get out, you all better be outside doing your laps." Tezuka threatened as he left and went into the bathroom just like he said previously!

The people remaining at the table stared at each other.

"Now, more than ever, it is essential we dethrone him." Tachibana lowered his voice.

"We have to do whatever is in our power to ensure that he does not win the individual challenge today." Aoi agreed. "Whatever sacrifice is necessary!"

"Would you guys think I was sappy if I said I was pining for him to be dethroned?" David said.

And then he laughed.

Everyone was going to tell him that they didn't think he sounded sappy, but then the pun processed and that made them get angry.

"SHUT UP!" everyone yelled as they slapped him.

Team Four  
"I'm so glad we explored the shed and found this sidewalk chalk." Said Hiyoshi. 

Sure enough, the entire family was outside playing with sidewalk chalk. Well, except for Yukimura. He had another one of his sick fainting spells so everyone decided to leave him inside. But then they felt bad for him and realized what he needed most was fresh air so they dragged the comfy chair outside and propped him up in it.

"What are you guys drawing?" Sakurai asked the rest of the family.

"A tennis racket." Saeki replied.

"Really?" said Sakurai. "Me too!"

"Me and Hiyoshi decided to collaborate and draw a picture together." Ryoma said.

"That's so—" began Saeki but then he looked over to see that they were drawing a picture of them in their intense tennis match against each other, and as it turns out, they were both doing a victory dance. "Oh. Well. ONE of you is wrong."

"That's me." Said Hiyoshi, bowing his head and looking sad.

"Aw, don't cry." Said Sakurai, patting him on the shoulder.

"I wasn't going to cry." Hiyoshi said, sounding offended.

They all went back to their sidewalk chalking.

"Hey!" said Saeki suddenly as he jumped to his feet.

"What?" said all the others who were conscious.

"We should draw a tennis court on the street and play tennis!" Saeki said.

"OHMYGOSH HELLZ YEAH!" screamed all the others as they got up and shrieked excitedly like little girls.

"Ryoma, you draw the court." Saeki said.

"Right!" said Ryoma as he grabbed chalk and ran into the street.

"Sakurai, you find some things we can use as rackets!" Saeki continued.

"I'm on it!" agreed Sakurai.

"Hiyoshi, find something we can use as a net…" Saeki went on.

"Okay." Said Hiyoshi as he departed as well.

"And I will find the ball!" Saeki declared.

Ryoma measured out the exact dimensions of a tennis court and worked endlessly to get it perfectly. Then he realized that the street was not wide enough for him to make it exactly right. So he had to make the court about a third of the size it was supposed to be.

That made him sad.

Then everyone else came back from their hunts.

"Guys, the court is so far from being the right size…" Ryoma reported regrettably.

"So I brought these sticks…" Sakurai said, holding up a few sticks and looking half ashamed and half excited.

"And I found a basketball…" Saeki added.

"I figured we could turn the kitchen table on its side and just use that as the net…" Hiyoshi said.

Everyone stared at each other.

"Well, so what are we waiting for?" said Sakurai.

Because YES. They were THAT desperate to play tennis.

They all grabbed one of the sticks and decided to play DOUBLES so everyone got to play right away.

"I have the first serve." Said Ryoma as he threw the basketball up in the air and tried to do the Twist Serve. But he OBVIOUSLY failed. OBVIOUSLY.


	20. In Which They Stay Busy

Team Five  
"It's nice to be back inside again!" Oishi said contently as he watched television. 

"Maybe next time you'll think twice about being totally psychotic." Said Kamio, crossing his arms.

"Maybe I will." Oishi agreed.

"Come on, everyone, eat your lunch!" called Itsuki from the kitchen. "You all have to have strength for the challenge today!"

"How do we even know there's going to be a challenge?" said Shishido as he went into the kitchen.

Itsuki handed them all a Lunchable.

"Wow." Said Shishido. "This will definitely give us strength."

"Sorry, I can't cook." Said Itsuki.

"None of us really can." Kamio observed, looking around.

"Hey, _I _could." Said Oishi, putting his hand over his heart.

"No you couldn't, Oishi." Said Shishido. "We just told you that your food tasted great because you were being SO psychotic and we didn't want you to kill us all in our sleep."

"Oh." said Oishi sadly.

"But let's not get down!" said Itsuki as he made himself a mini cold pizza that tasted like crap. "Let's stay a tight knit family! That has been our strength in the past two challenges!"

"What are you talking about?" said Kamio. "We've performed poorly in the past two challenges, and we're anything from tight knit."

"Yeah." Agreed Oishi. "Our family seems to be in a trend of excluding a new person every day. If Sengoku wins the challenge today, no doubt you'll be the outside Pet tomorrow, Shishido."

Shishido froze in the middle of biting his brownie.

"You think Sengoku would be that petty?" Shishido asked.

"_I _was." Said Kamio.

"And I would have put Kamio back outside if I had won." Oishi admitted.

"Well, if you think about it, we ARE making him sleep outside…" Itsuki nodded.

"Maybe it's time someone ended the cycle." Said Oishi, looking over at the door.

Shishido looked at the door, and then back at the rest of the family. "Why does it have to be ME?" he demanded. "I'm not mature enough for THAT!"

"Then I guess you'll probably be outside tomorrow." Kamio said.

"No." said Shishido. "I'll just make sure Sengoku doesn't win so he doesn't have the opportunity to do that."

"Well then it's all on your head, isn't it?" said Oishi.

Everyone then drank a sip of their Capri Suns.

"Hey," said Kamio randomly. "Remember those tasks we got yesterday?"

"Yeah." Said Itsuki and Shishido.

"No." said Oishi.

"See?" said Kamio. "THAT'S what I was wondering about. Oishi, you didn't do your task yesterday, did you?"

"I had a task?" Oishi questioned.

"Yeah…we all got a task." Shishido answered. "I guess we forgot to give you your envelope."

"Oh." said Oishi. "Will that be a problem?"

"Well, MY letter told me there would be dire consequences if I didn't complete my task, but maybe yours said something different." Said Itsuki as he got the envelope from off the refrigerator and handed it to him.

Oishi opened it up. "Well, I was SUPPOSED to steal something from the person who was the Dad and then hide it in the backyard…" he said. "Yeah… dire consequences. It says it right there."

"We probably should have given it to you." Said Shishido.

"It's all right." Said Oishi. "I wouldn't have been able to get inside to steal anything anyway."

"That's a good point." Said Itsuki. "This way, you weren't stressed about it. We did you a favor."

"I guess you could look at it that way even though you're WRONG." Said Oishi.

Team Six  
Kaidou jogged up the front walk to the stupid house he was being forced to stay in with the equally stupid people. He pushed the door open and entered. Whence he rounded the corner to the living room, the only response he could come up with was a raised eyebrow. 

Ryou, Oshitari and Atsushi were all sitting in the kitchen doing a puzzle. But that wasn't the strangest thing. In fact, that wasn't even strange.

The fact that they were all wearing helmets was the strange part.

"What are all you guys doing?" Kaidou practically demanded as he walked over.

They looked up at him.

"A puzzle." Atsushi said. "We don't have a TV since Akutsu threw a chair at it after all…"

"That's not what I meant!" Kaidou said angrily. "I meant why are all of you wearing helmets!"

"Oh." said Oshitari, standing up and retrieving another helmet that was on the counter and holding it out for Kaidou. "I suggest you wear this."

"Why?" said Kaidou.

"I just suggest it." Oshitari said, handing him the helmet.

"NO!" said Kaidou as he took the helmet and threw it at the empty place where the television USED to be.

"Well, if our television hadn't been broken before, it would definitely be broken NOW." Said Ryou with a sigh.

"Why won't you wear the helmet?" said Oshitari.

"Do you want to be punched in the face like I was?" Atsushi said, turning his head to reveal that he had a black eye.

"Who punched you in the face?" said Kaidou.

As soon as he said that, Akutsu walked around the corner wearing a helmet of his own. "Did I hear someone refuse to wear the helmet?" he said pounding one fist into his palm.

"Is this something stupid our coaches are making us do for some reason?" Kaidou said.

"Wearing a helmet is not STUPID!" said Akutsu. "Did you know that about eight hundred people, including more than two hundred children, are killed annually in bicycle-related crashes nationwide, and about sixty percent of those deaths involve a head injury!"

Kaidou frowned at this.

"…And…?" Kaidou said.

"And it's about time we made ourselves safe." Said Akutsu.

"I think this has something to do with his bicycle accident yesterday coupled with his oxygen deprivation for some time last night." Oshitari explained.

"So wear your helmet if you don't want to be punched in the face." Said Akutsu threateningly.

"He'll do it." Said Atsushi warned him.

"Listen," said Kaidou. "Wearing a helmet while your bike riding is essential, but let's not overdo it. It's not necessary to wear a helmet all the time. You're not going to prevent any head injuries by just wearing a helmet."

"I beg to differ." Said Akutsu as he wound up and punched Kaidou in the face so hard that he fell to the ground. "You wouldn't have gotten THAT head injury if you had just been wearing your helmet!"

Kaidou looked shocked as he lied on the floor. Then he got a crazed look in his eyes.

"Oh it's on now." Atsushi said. "It's ON."

"OMG it's ON!" said Ryou.

"It is SO on." Said Kaidou as he stood up and rolled up his sleeves. Then he jumped upon Akutsu and the two of them commenced in mortal combat.

"Bets, bets!" said Oshitari as Atsushi and Ryou ran over to give him money.

Team Seven  
"Sanada Genichirou," Inui read from his data book. "Age fifteen, year three. Birthday May 21st, five feet nine and a half inches, one hundred forty nine point six pounds. Vice captain of Rikkai Dai, right handed with an all rounded style of play. Lives with older brother, both parents and grandfather." 

Inui adjusted his glasses as the rest of the family sat in the living room, listening to him drone.

"Tell me again why we have to memorize this stuff?" Tetsu said.

"There is a seventy-five percent chance that our coaches will employ a challenge that involves knowing about our teammates very soon." Inui explained. "Therefore it is important that we all learn about each other as much as possible before that challenge takes place."

"It is about time we won a competition." Renji added. "We have performed very poorly in the two previous challenges."

"This is kind of creepy though." Said Sanada. "Even I don't know how much I weigh right down to the 'point six' or whatever."

"It is important to have all kinds of data." Inui answered.

"I will do the next one." Renji said. "Akutagawa Jirou. Age fifteen, year three. Birthday May 5th, five feet two inches, one hundred and seven point eight pounds. Member of Hyoutei—"

This continued for a little while longer until all the data on every member of the family was covered.

"I'm glad THAT'S over with." Said Tetsu, going to stand up.

"Wait." Said Inui, putting his hand out.

"…What?" said Tetsu.

"There is a thirty-nine percent chance that we might have to know about our opponents as well." Inui explained. "Therefore, we must cover everyone else's data."

"WHAT?" demanded Tetsu and Sanada.

"If I just fall asleep, I can skip all this, right?" Sanada said.

"It can't be helped." Said Renji. "Jirou's sleeping habits are impossible to control. Now please sit down so we can go over the rest of the data as well."

"We will start with Team One." Said Inui. "Though I must warn you that my data on Fuji Shuusuke is incomplete." He cleared his throat. "Fuji Shuusuke. Age unknown. Birthday unknown. Height unknown. Weight unknown. Tennis team unknown. Dominant hand unknown. Style of play unknown. Family unknown."

Inui then turned the page.

"Kawamura Takashi—" he started.

"Wait, were you being serious about that last one?" Sanada interrupted.

"Yes." Said Inui. "It is nearly impossible to gather his data."

"Why is his tennis team unknown?" said Sanada. "Doesn't he play on YOUR team?"

Inui paused. "Ah yes." He quickly erased that and wrote in 'Seigaku'.

"And how is that you managed to gather all our heights and weights but you don't even know his when you spend practically every day with him?" said Tetsu.

"Like I said, it is impossible to gather his data." Inui answered.

"Hang on, when I played against him in the District Preliminaries, I could have sworn he was right handed." Tetsu interjected.

"Ah yes." Said Inui, making that change as well.

"Are you sure that not being able to gather his data isn't just in your head?" questioned Sanada.

"Yes, I am positive." Inui said, looking slightly flustered. "Now let's move on without any further interruptions."

Inui turned the page again.

"Kawamura Takashi—" he started.

"Wait, were you being serious about that last one?" Sanada interrupted.

"Yes." Said Inui. "It is nearly impossible to gather his data."

"Why is his tennis team unknown?" said Sanada. "Doesn't he play on YOUR team?"

Inui paused. "Ah yes." He quickly erased that and wrote in 'Seigaku'.

"And how is that you managed to gather all our heights and weights but you don't even know his when you spend practically every day with him?" said Tetsu.

"Like I said, it is impossible to gather his data." Inui answered.

"Hang on, when I played against him in the District Preliminaries, I could have sworn he was right handed." Tetsu interjected.

"Ah yes." Said Inui, making that change as well.

"Are you sure that not being able to gather his data isn't just in your head?" questioned Sanada.

"Yes, I am positive." Inui said, looking slightly flustered. "Now let's move on without any further interruptions."

Inui turned the page again.

"Wait, now I've skipped someone." Inui noticed. "I don't remember where I was. We'll just have to start all over." He flipped back to the beginning of his book. "Sanada Genichirou—"

"NO NO NO!" said Tetsu and Sanada as they both got up and waved their arms around.

Team Eight  
Yuuta, Shinji, Bane and Jackal were all sitting around watching The Grinch. The original cartoon one that has the songs sung by Tony the Tiger. 

"This is so unbelievable." Said Shinji. "After the Grinch robbed them all blind, they let him cut the roast beef anyway?"

"They just feel sorry for him and his oversized heart." Yuuta explained.

"You don't live long with a heart that huge." Jackal agreed.

"But wait," said Bane. "I thought it was the roast BEAST. Not roast BEEF."

They all stared at him.

"What the hell is a roast beast?" said Shinji.

"What the hell is a Grinch?" Bane retorted.

"Okay, okay, point taken." Shinji said. "This IS Dr. Seuss we're talking about here."

They watched the very end and then turned off the television.

"Say, where's Atobe?" said Jackal. "Do you think he'll be sad that we didn't call him in to watch The Grinch with us?"

"Well we did." Said Yuuta. "But remember how he came in and said, 'Oh, I thought you were talking about the live action one…' and then he left because he said the cartoon version was boring?"

"No." said Jackal. "I missed that."

"How could you have missed that?" said Bane

"Wait, I think Jackal went to the bathroom at one point." Shinji said.

"I must have been in the bathroom." Jackal concluded.

"No." said Yuuta. "You went to the bathroom at the part where the Grinch was making himself a Santa Claus suit and Atobe came in here at the way beginning when the Grinch was ranting about all the noise the Whos made."

They stared at him.

"He's right." Said Shinji finally to Jackal. "That IS when you left. Because I remember you asking what the large object on Max's head was."

"Oh yeah." Said Jackal.

"I guess you just blocked Atobe out or something…" Bane said.

The glared at him enviously.

At that exact moment, Atobe walked in while holding a letter.

"It's time to go to another challenge." He announced.

"Really?" said Yuuta. "When did we get that letter?"

"About a half an hour ago." Atobe answered, looking at his watch. "But you four seemed SO engrossed in your cartoon that I didn't have the heart to interrupt you from it."

Yuuta stomped over and took the letter from him. "This letter is addressed to the Dad. ME!" said Yuuta. "You have no right to open it! If you love opening letters for the Dad so much then make yourself the Dad!"

Atobe walked away in the middle of Yuuta's speech, which made Yuuta both sad AND frustrated.

"Just ignore him." Said Shinji.

"Who?" said Jackal, turning around.

"Atobe." Said Bane. "Did you not hear him just now?"

"I thought it was strange that Yuuta suddenly just got up and ran into the kitchen while looking angry…" Jackal rubbed his chin.

"You are so lucky." Said Shinji. "How do you do it? How do you completely ignore Atobe?"

"I don't know." Said Jackal. "Maybe it has something to do with that walk I was forced to take with him the other day…"

Bane, Shinji and Yuuta all looked at each other.

"I guess we have to take a walk with Atobe too…" said Yuuta, looking back at the letter and then wistfully out the window.

**Hey guys it's us! We just want to say thank you for sticking with this story and all the kind reviews you've given us! If you like this, then we're sure you'll also like our new fanfiction called REMOTE! This one will NOT be abandoned as many people have asked us. If anything changes with the updates at all, it will only have faster and more consistant updates that are every other day. It will be glorious. So keep up with this one, but also try a little of the new one. It only wants some friends...**

**Love, Link and Luigi**


	21. In Which One is Chosen to Hate

Day Three  
The Third Competition  
There were eight tables, each with four chairs. Then there was a small stage set up with eight chairs on it. 

The tennis players looked around aimlessly, trying to figure out what kind of crazy thing they were going to be doing.

"Before we start ANYTHING," Ryuuzaki said, coming out of nowhere with the other coaches by her side. "We need each team to choose one person to separate from the group."

"FOR GOOD?" said Team Eight minus Atobe excitedly.

"No…just for the challenge." Said Ryuuzaki.

"Oh…" said Team Eight minus Atobe sadly.

Team One…  
"Well…" said Mizuki looking at each teammate one at a time. "I'm thinking…"

"Fuji?" said Taka, Yana and Kirihara.

"Yeah." Said Mizuki.

"Okay." Said the other three.

"No offense, Fuji," said Taka. "But we just want you as far away from us as possible."

"That's okay." Said Fuji with a smile that suggested it wasn't all THAT okay.

Team Two…  
"Because of Momo's recent disrespect to all that is sacred in the trust we put into our faithful doubles partners…" Eiji started. "I say we pick HIM to exclude from the team!"

"HERE HERE!" cheered the other bitchy doubles players.

"Guys seriously…" Momo sighed.

"The things you said today…" Choutarou sniffed, getting teary-eyed just thinking about it. "That was blasphemous."

"The best thing for you right now…is to be singles." Marui said.

"Leave the doubles to us, okay?" said Gakuto, putting a hand on his shoulder.

Team Three…  
"All right, Tezuka, we're not going to bother hiding it from you anymore." Said Tachibana. "We are trying to sabotage you in this challenge."

"I expected so much." Tezuka admitted.

"Therefore, we have all telepathically decided to isolate you from the rest of us and the challenge to ensure that you won't get the chance to win the individual aspect of it!" Aoi declared.

"And—" David began

"NO!" said everyone else as they slapped him because they recognized the look on his face when he's about to tell a pun.

"Aw man…" said David sadly.

Team Four…  
"Hm…" the whole team pondered this very important decision.

"Ryoma, how about it?" said Saeki finally.

"Why me?" said Ryoma.

"Because we don't really like you all that much." Sakurai said.

"Yes." Said Hiyoshi. "We want to isolate you from the team and hopefully we'll all forge friendships with you not around so you'll be even more left out."

"Don't TELL him that!" said Saeki.

"You were all thinking it." Said Hiyoshi, crossing his arms.

"Fine, whatever…" Ryoma shrugged.

Team Five…  
"Well, we've all recently bonded since you've been outside today, Sengoku…" said Shishido, referring to himself and all those who were not Sengoku.

"Fine, fine!" said Sengoku. "I know when I'm not wanted!"

"That's right." Said Shishido. "And that time is right now."

"But maybe we'll need you later." Said Oishi, trying to be nice.

"Not likely!" whined Sengoku. "I hope you guys fail at the challenge!"

"Why do you have that attitude?" said Itsuki.

"Cheer us on from the sidelines!" said Kamio, but he just received a cold stare from Sengoku.

Team Six…  
"So anyway, Akutsu, that's why we have chosen YOU to be isolated from our team." Oshitari explained rationally as he and the rest of the team stood at least an arms length away from Akutsu. They all had at least one black eye, and Oshitari's glasses were taped together.

"If you all had just WORN your helmets like I had told you then you wouldn't have gotten those head injuries!" said Akutsu. "It's not my fault!"

"You're the one who punched us!" Kaidou yelled as he made a lunge for Akutsu but Atsushi and Ryou held him back.

Team Seven…  
"You know what I'm getting sick of?" Sanada said, pointing at Jirou who was sleeping on the ground.

"Yeah, me too." Tetsu agreed.

"The chances of the role of the isolated person being important is fifty-fifty." Renji said.

"We will either be at an advantage by eliminating our deadweight, or at a disadvantage by leaving our deadweight in charge of a very important role." Inui said.

The team mulled this over.

"Oh what the hell." Said Sanada. "Let's just get rid of him. He's starting to snore."

Team Eight…  
"Atobe, we pick you." Yuuta said. "Because any time that we get to be away from you is a good time."

"Very well." Said Atobe, putting his hand up in front of his face. "But your reasoning should have been that I don't do anything for the team."

"That too!" said Bane.

"I will gladly depart from this team." Atobe announced.

"And we'll gladly see you go." Shinji said.

"Hopefully it's permanent…" Jackal said.

"OKAY!" said Sakaki. "All the people who have been cast aside by their families, please follow me! The rest of the families please sit down at your assigned tables and wait for further instructions!"

Once the remaining four members of each team were situated at their tables, Banji, Ojii and Ryuuzaki went around with packets, giving each table one packet.

"Please answer these packets as truthfully as possible and as a group!" Banji ordered.

"When you're finished, please let us know." Ojii said.

"There are a hundred questions here!" exclaimed Ryou.

"Just answer them all!" said Banji.

"What are these…?" said Shishido. "_On your team, who is the most attractive? _Why are you asking these kinds of questions?"

"Just answer the questions!" said Ojii.

After a good while of the teams collaborating, a few fights breaking out and a hundred questions later, eventually all the families finished.

"Now we will bring in your castaways who have all been getting ice cream while you have been filling out these packets!" said Ryuuzaki.

"Why did you have to tell us that…?" Yuuta slapped his forehead as the aforementioned people entered and took their seats in numerical order in the isolated chairs.

"We have chosen eight questions from the lot you all just answered together." Said Sakaki, waving a copy of the packet around. "We will ask the question to the member of the team you all cast aside, and if they answer in the same way you all answered in the packet then you get one point! If they answer wrong, nothing happens."

"Whoever has the most points after eight questions wins!" announced Ryuuzaki.

"Oh no." said everyone who filled out the packets.


	22. In Which Emotions Run High

"Starting with Fuji, as you are on Team One." Said Sakaki, going over to Fuji. "What do you think your team answered with in response to the question, _On your team, who is the most annoying_?"

"Hm…" Fuji said thoughtfully. "My initial thought was that my team would consider me the most annoying. I got that vibe because none of them would eat the lunch I lovingly prepared for them."

"Is that your answer?" Sakaki asked.

"No." said Fuji. "Because then I reconsidered and realized that they know better than to say something so cruel about me."

His entire team was holding each other in fear.

"I choose Mizuki." He said finally.

"I'm sorry, that is incorrect." Said Sakaki.

"It's not me, is it?" Fuji said.

"No, your team answered that they believed Yana is the most annoying." Sakaki answered.

"I see." Said Fuji. "My mistake."

"Moving on." Sakaki moved to Momo. "Well? Same question."

"The most annoying…" Momo repeated. "No offense or anything, but I'd have to go with Ootori!"

"That's outrageous!" Shishido suddenly yelled as he stood up and slammed his hand down on the table.

"I'm just saying because he is constantly talking about all the things he worries about!" said Momo. "Am I right? Right, team?"

"Actually, your team put your name here." Sakaki said.

Momo looked like he was in shock. "…ME?" he demanded, looking at his team.

"You dissed doubles!" they all chimed as if they rehearsed it.

"Tezuka?" Sakaki moved down the line.

"David." Tezuka answered after an elapsed time of about .03 seconds.

"Correct!" said Sakaki.

"YAY!" cheered Team Three. But then they realized that they wanted Tezuka to look bad so they became depressed.

"Okay, so far only Team Three has a point, as we move onto Ryoma." Sakaki said, continuing down the line.

"Most annoying…" Ryoma said. "Hiyoshi?"

"Hiyoshi?" everyone repeated.

"Me?" said Hiyoshi.

"Couldn't you have at least made a guess that would have given you a little bit of a chance of getting it right?" said Saeki.

"I'm sorry, the answer was Ryoma." Said Sakaki.

"Oh right…" said Ryoma. "Dur…"

"Sengoku? What about your team?"

"The most annoying person on my team is—!" Sengoku was about to say 'Shishido' because it was his fault that he had to be outside, but then he quickly realized that the rest of his team would probably not think that way. So he reconsidered. "…Me?"

"No, the team gave the answer Itsuki." Sakaki said.

"What?" said Sengoku. "Why him?"

"They said all my questions were annoying…" said Itsuki sadly.

"Akutsu?" said Sakaki. "Your guess."

"Kaidou." Akutsu said, clenching his fist. Kaidou clenched his fist right back at him.

"No, that answer is incorrect." Said Sakaki. "Atsushi would have been the right answer."

"I STILL don't know why." Atsushi sighed.

"It was pretty much random, remember?" said Oshitari.

"Okay, so far Team Three is STILL the only team with a point." Sakaki said. "Jirou? Your next. Who is the most annoying person on your team?"

"Hm…" said Jirou, who had waken up once he realized he was in a competition. "My team would definitely think…ME! For sleeping all the time!"

"Correct!" Sakaki said.

"HURRAY!" cheered his team.

"We don't think you're annoying anymore, Jirou!" called Tetsu.

"Aw, thanks guys!" said Jirou.

"Finally, Atobe." Sakaki said.

Atobe paused for only a moment, and then looked at his team. "Yuuta." He said.

"Why I outta…" Yuuta started rolling up his sleeves but his team held him back. Though later, they wondered why they did.

"The correct answer would have been…Atobe." Sakaki said.

"Oh." said Atobe. "I see how it is."

"Well, after the first round of questions, only Team Three and Team Seven have points!" said Ryuuzaki. "Let's move right along to question two! Fuji, who on your team is the LEAST annoying? How do you think your team answered?"

"Hm…" said Fuji quizzically. "Hm…hm…"

"If he says himself I am going to shoot him in the face." Said Kirihara to his teammates.

"You wouldn't." said Taka.

"…Taka?" Fuji said.

"AH! WHAT?" Taka practically screamed as he spun around and looked like a deer in the headlights.

"Correct!" said Sakaki.

"Oh." said Taka. "Oh right…"

"I agree with that one." Said Fuji happily.

"All right, same question Momo." Said Sakaki.

"Least annoying…" Momo said. "Well, I WOULD have said ME but considering my team voted me MOST annoying, probably not. So their opinions are probably just totally flipped so they probably said that Ootori is the least annoying!"

"Is that your answer?" said Sakaki.

"Um…yes!" said Momo.

"No, that's wrong, I'm sorry." Sakaki said sadly. "The correct answer was Marui."

"I forgot about him!" Momo slapped his forehead.

"Next is Tezuka." Said Sakaki. "Who is the least annoying on your team according to your four teammates?"

Tezuka looked at the four sitting there.

"Kabaji." Tezuka said.

"Correct!" said Sakaki.

"HURRAY!" cheered his team but on the inside they cursed him.

"Two points for Team Three and one point for Team One and Team Seven." Sakaki reported. "This is still anybody's game! Ryoma? Least annoying?"

"Hiyoshi?" Ryoma guessed. He figured that because everyone was so shocked and outraged when he had said Hiyoshi was the MOST annoying, then that must mean he is the LEAST annoying.

"That is correct as well!" said Sakaki.

"It's about time you got one right!" Saeki yelled at Ryoma.

"There's only been one other question." Yukimura tried to calm him down.

"Sengoku, same question." Sakaki moved forward.

"Let's see…" Sengoku began. "Least annoying… my team's opinion… NOT my opinion…who is the least annoying…" He snapped his fingers. "Shishido!"

"Right!" said Sakaki.

"Oh, lucky!" cheered Sengoku in an engrishy sort of way.

"Akutsu?" said Sakaki. "Go ahead."

"They're ALL pretty annoying!" said Akutsu. "They all refused to be safe by wearing their helmets!"

"YOU SUCK AKUTSU!" his whole team yelled, except for Oshitari who only shook his head in disbelief.

Akutsu looked like he was going to explode, but then he remembered he was surrounded by many people. He could probably take out thirty of them, but forty was a bit much.

So he calmly sat himself back down.

"Oshitari." He concluded.

"As your answer, or are you menacingly saying his name under your breath?" Sakaki asked for clarification.

"MY ANSWER!" Akutsu said angrily.

"Then you're right!" said Sakaki. "Jirou, you're next up."

"Least annoying, all it takes is the process of elimination!" said Jirou. "Not me of course because I'm the MOST annoying! Not Renji or Inui because their data rants are very annoying. And not Tetsu because he's a second year. So that only leaves one person! Sanada!"

His team looked a little offended, but they all had their various reactions of adjusting his glasses, sitting there doing nothing, looking sad and staring off into space. You can guess who did what.

"That is correct." Said Sakaki.

"Go Team Seven!" Jirou was all by himself on that one.

"And finally, Atobe." Sakaki said.

"The least annoying person is me." Said Atobe.

"YOU IDIOT!" Yuuta yelled. "You are the MOST annoying!"

"I must have forgotten." Atobe chuckled.

"Then you already know that that answer is wrong." Said Sakaki. "The correct answer was Jackal. So, after the second round, every team as one point except for Team Two and Team Eight which has NO points, and Team Three and Team Seven which has two points!"

"Excuse me but can our team request to have our question answerer changed?" Yuuta said. "Atobe is throwing the challenge!"

"I'm sorry, the rest of you already know the answers so that's impossible." Sakaki said.

"Not Shinji, he was hardly paying attention at all!" said Yuuta.

"I was TOO paying attention!" said Shinji.

"Let's just move on!" said Ryuuzaki. "It's my turn to ask the questions now, and we'll start with Fuji like we did last time and the time before that. Fuji, we asked your team, _Who is the most attractive?_ How do you think they answered as a collective?"

Fuji sat there looking stone faced for a very long time as everyone waited in eager anticipation.

"…Taka…" he said finally.

All the blood rushed to Taka's head and he passed out.

"That's incorrect, I'm sorry." Said Ryuuzaki. "Your team answered with Mizuki."

"Oh." said Fuji. "I suppose my own opinions were clouding my judgment again."

"I am OBVIOUSLY the best looking one here." Said Mizuki. "Out of everyone."

"Next up is Momo." Said Ryuuzaki. "Who is the most attractive on your team?"

"This is such an awkward question!" said Momo. "Because no matter what I say, people are either going to make fun of me or get offended!"

"Are you refusing to answer the question?" said Ryuuzaki. "Keep in mind that your team doesn't have ANY points yet."

"I don't know…" said Momo, looking at his team. "Um…well, I've got a mullet so it probably isn't me…Gakuto looks like a girl—" Momo wisely decided to keep the rest of his self narration in his head. "I don't know…I mean… I've said Ootori for every other one…"

"Is that your answer?" said Ryuuzaki. "Because you're taking forever."

"Yeah, sure, whatever!" said Momo.

"You're right!" said Ryuuzaki.

"Really?" Momo gasped.

"Thanks again, everyone!" said Choutarou, looking like he was going to explode with happiness and sunshine. Shishido wanted to stand up and congratulate Choutarou, but he didn't want anyone on his team to make fun of him, so he decided to just save the congratulations for later.

"Tezuka?" said Ryuuzaki. "Most attractive on YOUR team?"

Tezuka stared at his team, then back at Ryuuzaki. "Me." He said finally.

A silent wind blew across the land.

"I'm so sorry." Said Ryuuzaki. "That is incorrect."

"How embarrassing…" everyone whispered to each other.

"The correct answer was David." Said Ryuuzaki.

Tezuka sat there in silence. "You're kidding, right?" he said. "Did my team actually write that?"

"Um…yes…" said Ryuuzaki as she moved down the line to Ryoma.

"…." Ryoma looked at his team. "They're all sort of unfortunate looking." He admitted.

"HEY!" they all yelled.

"Who do you think they chose?" Ryuuzaki asked.

"Um…Hiyoshi?" Ryoma tried.

"Are you going to guess me for every question?" Hiyoshi shook his head.

"That's incorrect." Said Ryuuzaki. "Your team voted for Saeki."

"How DARE that not be obvious to you!" said Saeki angrily.

"Sengoku?" Ryuuzaki said.

"Let's see…" said Sengoku. "So far all of MY personal opinions have been pretty much the opposite of what my team as has said. Therefore, I'm going to have to say SHISHIDO!"

"HEY!" said Shishido.

"That's correct!" said Ryuuzaki.

"Congratulations, Shishido!" said Choutarou, standing up and giving Shishido a round of applause.

"Oh geez, sit down, you look like an idiot…" Oshitari said under his breath.

And it just so happened that Shishido was sitting near Oshitari just because of how the tables were arranged so he turned around and grabbed Oshitari's shirt collar and threatened his life. "Don't make fun of Choutarou!" he said angrily.

"Whoa." Said Oshitari.

Shishido let go of him as Choutarou sat back down.

"ANYWAY," said Ryuuzaki. "Everyone's done, right? So let's move onto Akutsu. Who is the most attractive on your team?"

"I REFUSE to answer this question." Said Akutsu, crossing his arms.

"You can't refuse!" said his team angrily.

"It's a trick question!" Akutsu announced.

"Are you really not going to answer this question?" Ryuuzaki asked.

"Of course I'm not!" said Akutsu.

"Well, in case you were curious, your team voted Oshitari as the most attractive." Ryuuzaki said.

"Pfft…" said Akutsu. "That's not even who I WOULD have said."

"Jirou?" Ryuuzaki went on.

"Well, no offense to all of YOU team, but in the delicate words of Ryoma, you're all quite unfortunate looking!" said Jirou, getting horseshoe eyes. "So I'm going to have to go with ME on this one!"

Jirou sat there looking confident and such as Ryuuzaki informed him that he was correct.

Team Seven didn't really know whether to be happy or sad about his answer.

"Finally, Atobe." Said Ryuuzaki. "Who is the most attractive on YOUR team, as answered by your family members?"

Atobe put his hand up in front of his face and sat there for a very long time while everyone hung on his potential every word.

"Call me crazy…" said Sakaki, leaning over to Ryuuzaki. "But I get the feeling that Atobe is answering that he believes HE is the most attractive on his team."

"Is that true, Atobe?" Ryuuzaki asked as if she was talking to a small child. "Is that what you're answer is?"

Atobe didn't say anything, he just nodded.

"I'm sorry, your team has written then they believe Shinji is the most attractive on your team." Ryuuzaki said.

Atobe lowered his hand. "…What?" he said.

"YOU'RE UGLY ATOBE!" yelled his team.

"And I wasn't going to throw that one." Said Atobe as his eyes narrowed.

"So after the third round, we have Team One, Two, Four and Six with one point each!" Ryuuzaki announced. "Team Three and Team Five both have two points, and finally Team Seven is in the lead with three points! With only five rounds left, can Team Eight catch up with their stunning ZERO points?"

"Our team is winning." Said Inui. "All thanks to the data."

"What are you talking about?" said Sanada. "Jirou didn't pay attention to your data, not to mention the fact that your data didn't exactly cover these kinds of questions."

Inui adjusted his glasses and decided not to react.

"Let's move right along with our fourth question!" said Ryuuzaki.


	23. In Which Olaf is Summoned

"I bet you all can guess what it is. Who is the LEAST attractive person on your team? Fuji! You're first."

"Well, coach," said Fuji, crossing his legs and leaning back. "My personal opinion was that Mizuki was the least attractive, but my team is under the impression that he is the MOST attractive, so that couldn't possibly be right."

"Damn straight!" said Mizuki. "Take THAT, Lucifer!"

It certainly LOOKED like Fuji ignored that comment, but we all know better.

"The least attractive is probably…Yana." Fuji concluded.

"That's correct!" said Ryuuzaki. "That brings your team up to two out of four points so far."

Fuji clapped his hands.

"Momo?" Ryuuzaki said.

Momo gave a heavy sigh and leaned his chin in his palms. "Even though I don't really agree with this, I'm sensing a trend so…" Momo sighed again. "It wouldn't be me, would it?"

"That's right!" said Ryuuzaki as she showed the paper to Momo. "And look, they even drew a sad face next to it."

"Ootori did that because he said he felt bad." Said Gakuto.

"We're sorry, Momo." Said Choutarou.

"It's fine… whatever…" said Momo but he was crying on the inside.

"Next up is Tezuka." Ryuuzaki said. "Who, according to your team is the least attractive?"

Tezuka, once again, gave his team a once over.

"Kabaji." He answered, just as confidently as all his other responses.

"That is also correct." Said Ryuuzaki. "You are all so good at spotting the most unattractive person on your team!"

"Daw…" said all the young people. "You're just SAYING that!"

"Let's just keep moving right along." Ryuuzaki suggested as she did just that. "Ryoma, it's your turn."

Ryoma paused only a second.

"Well," he said. "Considering Hiyoshi wasn't the MOST attractive, I guess I have a twenty-five percent chance of getting it right if I call him out on this one…"

"Yes, data." Said Inui, looking proud.

"I'm just average looking…" Hiyoshi put his head in his hand.

"I'm sorry, the answer was actually Sakurai." Said Ryuuzaki.

"Do you even know any of our names?" Saeki demanded.

Ryoma paused again. Then he bowed his head in shame. "No." he faltered. "I only know Hiyoshi because I played in a match against him."

"Oh." said Saeki, looking ashamed.

"Okay, moving on…" said Ryuuzaki, giving them all a strange look. "You have the stage, Sengoku."

Sengoku chuckled cruelly under his breath for a bit. "This time around, my opinion agrees with that of the team's!" he said.

"How do you know?" said Ryuuzaki.

"Have you LOOKED at Itsuki?" said Sengoku, his cruel chuckling exploding into cruel laughter.

Itsuki frowned depressedly.

"Okay, so I guess that means your answer is Itsuki…." Said Ryuuzaki. "And that is correct."

"You all are going to thank me for this tonight!" said Sengoku. But then he stopped. "Oh wait, that sounded wrong. Never mind!"

"Anyway…" Ryuuzaki said. "Akutsu? Least attractive?"

"Kaidou!" Akutsu said, once again shaking his fist at Kaidou.

"I've had enough of that one!" Kaidou yelled and JUST when he was about to stampede towards Akutsu and make mince meat of him, Olaf came out of nowhere and held him back.

"Thank you, Olaf." Said Ryuuzaki as Olaf plunked Kaidou back in his seat. Olaf grunted in response and then departed. "And, Akutsu, I'm sorry. But the correct response was…"

She stopped and looked at the paper.

"Well…who ever cared about this stuff anyway?" she said with a laugh as she tried to walk past Akutsu to Jirou, but Akutsu stopped her.

"Those pansies put MY name down, didn't they?" he said, his eyes practically glowing with rage.

"Pshhhh… no!" said Ryuuzaki. "Why would you think something like that?"

Akutsu looked at his team. "You all are going to regret this!" he warned.

"In retrospect, I'm thinking that that probably wasn't our best idea…" Ryou admitted to his team.

"Mmm…" they agreed whole-heartedly.

"Anyway, Jirou," said Ryuuzaki. "Who on your team is the least attractive?"

"Well—" Jirou began, but Renji stood up.

"Jirou, may I request that you keep your reasoning in your head and not share it with the rest of the world?" he said.

Jirou mulled it over.

"Oh all right." He said. And then he thought and considered and pondered to himself. Finally he sat up straight. "Sanada!"

"That's right!" said Ryuuzaki.

"See?" said Renji to the rest of the team. "That way, only one person feels bad in the end."

"Brilliant." Inui commented.

"And finally," Ryuuzaki said. "Last and certainly not least! Team Eight's Atobe will tell us who HIS team voted as the least attractive!"

"Let's think…" said Atobe. "It wouldn't be…BANE, now would it?"

"Um…no…" said Ryuuzaki. "Your team put your name here."

Atobe gave a heavy sigh. "I really am trying now." He said. "But my team is making it impossible for us to gain any points whatsoever."

"He's got a point you know." Jackal said to the rest of the team.

"SH!" said Yuuta.

"Well, with half of the competition over, I will now take a moment to hand over the paper to Banji and then we'll keep going!" said Ryuuzaki. "Right after you hear the score. Team Seven is in the lead with four points, having answered all of their questions correctly! Teams Three and Five are right behind them with three points! Teams One and Two both have two points, while Teams Four and Six have one point each purely by chance! Finally, having answered all of their questions WRONG, Team Eight has NO points!"

Then she handed the papers to Banji.

"Thank you." Said Banji. "Let's not pause for even a moment! Team One, who is the best at tennis?"

"Oh, that one's easy." Said Fuji. "Tezuka."

There was a bit of a pause.

"Ho ho ho." Chuckled Banji. "Let me rephrase. Who, out of all the people on your team, is the best at tennis?"

Fuji nodded. "Tezuka." He repeated.

"In the family, Fuji." Said Taka.

"What about it?" he asked.

"Who, out of the five people who are in your family, is the best at tennis?" Banji said clearly and concisely.

"Oh." said Fuji. "Well, my parents don't really play tennis that much, and Yuuta's getting better and better every day—"

"Not your REAL family!" said Banji. "Your fake family! As in you, Taka, Yana, Kirihara and Mizuki."

"Ohh…" Fuji said. "You mean, who is the best at tennis out of me, Taka, Yana, Kirihara and Mizuki?"

"Yes." Said Banji.

Fuji put uncrossed his legs and then crossed them the other way.

"Well…" he actually looked perplexed.

Everyone else's mouths were hanging open.

"Fuji, keep in mind that you have defeated me, Mizuki AND Kirihara," Taka pointed out. "And do you really have to defeat Yana to know that you're better than him?"

"Hey, no hints!" said Banji.

"Well, I know what _I _think, but I wonder if my team would think differently." Fuji said.

"WE DON'T." said his whole team.

"Okay, fine." Fuji shrugged. "Me, then."

"That is correct." Said Banji. "Team One gets another point! How about you, Momo? Who is the best tennis player on YOUR team?"

"Well this is hard," said Momo. "Because my team is compiled of primarily DOUBLES players…"

"If you had top pick just one." Said Banji.

"Obviously." Said Momo. "I've played against all of them except Ootori…"

"Oh, I'm DEFINITELY not the best!" said Choutarou, standing up.

"You're a great tennis player, Choutarou!" said Shishido, standing up as well.

"Thanks so much, Shishido!" said Choutarou. "I hope everything works out for you and you make your own style of tennis!"

"You've helped me train so much…I hope to someday return the favor!" said Shishido, giving him the thumbs up.

Banji cleared his throat, and Shishido and Choutarou promptly sat down and covered their faces. "Momo?" Banji led.

"I don't know…Eiji?" he shrugged.

"I'm sorry, your team actually said that you were the best." Banji said.

"What?" said Momo. "Me?" He looked at his team. "Really, guys?"

They were all nodding like a sappy infomercial.

"I'm flattered!" Momo said, sitting down and trying to hold back his tears of joy.

"Next up is Tezuka." Said Banji. "Tezuka, who is the best at—"

"Obviously it is me." Said Tezuka.

"…Okay." Said Banji. "That's right."

"It killed me to agree with that." Tachibana glared.

"Ryoma?" said Banji. "Who is the best at tennis on your team?"

"If you say Hiyoshi then so help me!" said Saeki.

"What if he legitimately thinks I'm the best at tennis?" said Hiyoshi.

"Don't make me smack you." Said Saeki. "I'm not in the joking mood."

"That wasn't a joke." Said Hiyoshi.

"That's right!" said Banji. "That IS what your team wrote! You, Echizen Ryoma, are the Prince of Tennis."

"Oh yes I am." agreed Ryoma.

"Next up is Sengoku." Said Banji.

"You know something I've noticed?" said Sengoku. "So far, everyone who has received the best at tennis award has been people who are sitting up here. Do you think that means that our teams excommunicate us simply because they are secretly jealous of us?"

"When you say 'us', are you answering the question with yourself?" Banji asked.

"Why yes, I am." Sengoku nodded.

"And you're right." Said Banji. "Your team voted you as the best at tennis on your team!"

"Even though you're lame." Shishido said under his breath, crossing his arms.

"We're certainly on a roll with this one." Said Banji. "You're all getting quite good at this! Akutsu?"

"I don't pretend to think I'm good at tennis, because I don't care!" said Akutsu. "So I won't even bother!" Akutsu clenched both his fists. "But I also don't know anything about any of you because I never played against any of you!"

"Well…try to work your way through it." Suggested Banji.

"I don't know!" said Akutsu. "That one with the bandana. Whatever your name is."

"Me?" Ryou tried.

"Yeah, cause he knows my name." Kaidou said, looking away because he was way too cool.

"Well, both guesses are wrong anyway." Said Banji. "Oshitari would have been the correct answer."

"I am… A GENIUS." Said Oshitari, pushing his glasses further up his face.

"Oh are you?" said Fuji, leaning forward.

"So they call me." Oshitari answered.

"We should play a match sometime." Fuji suggested, going into Scary Mode.

"Hey, hey, hey!" said Banji. "I knew it was a bad idea to include questions that involve tennis! Now they're talking about tennis again!"

"Just move on and maybe they'll forget all about it." Said Ryuuzaki.

"Jirou!" said Banji. "Best at tennis on your team?"

"Remember, keep it in your head until you have the final answer." Renji called.

"Ah yes." Said Jirou with a nod. After a moment's pause, he pointed. "Sanada!" he announced.

"That is correct also." Said Banji. "This team hasn't gotten a single question wrong yet!"

"YES!" said Jirou as he jumped up on his seat and started doing The Monkey. When no one joined him (not even his own team! For shame!), he finally decided to stop and calmly sat back down.

"Finally, let's see if Team Eight can get out of their slum." Said Banji. "Because you know, if you get this question wrong then you're out of the competition because it'll be impossible for you to catch up with Team Seven even if they get all the remaining questions wrong."

"I am ready." Said Atobe.

"Who is the best at tennis on your team?" Banji asked.

"Why," said Atobe. "That would be me." Then he looked at his team. "Right?"

"Right!" said Banji.

Atobe then did some celebratory pointing.

"We may HATE you, but we're not STUPID." Said Bane.

"Could have fooled me, after that least attractive vote." Atobe said.

"Okay, okay, that was towards the beginning of the test while we were still spiteful." Jackal admitted.

"Let's keep going." Said Banji.


	24. In Which Jirou Controls the Game

"Who is the WORST at tennis on your team, Fuji? And when I say 'team', I mean Team One, as in your fake family, out of you, Taka, Yana, Kirihara and Mizuki."

"Thank you for making that very clear." Said Fuji. "And my answer is simple. I will say Yana."

"And that would be right." Said Banji.

"Worst at tennis…least attractive…most annoying…" Yana said, looking sad. "Do I have ANY redeeming qualities, guys?"

Everyone quickly avoided eye contact.

"Momo, same question." Banji said.

"Well, now that I like and respect you guys all again, I don't want to say anything mean about anyone!" Momo said.

"Aww…Momo…" said his entire doubles playing team.

"All right, so I don't want to make Shishido angry by saying it's Ootori, so I'll just say…Marui?" said Momo. "Sorry!"

"Damn straight Choutarou's not the worst." Said Shishido, looking grumpy.

"I'm sorry, the correct answer was Ootori." Said Banji.

"WHAT?" Shishido practically screamed, but his team grabbed him and restrained him so he couldn't go around strangling anyone who might have been involved in the planning of that response.

"I'm sorry Shishido!" Choutarou apologized. "We couldn't figure out who it was so I volunteered since I'm just a second year!"

"You shouldn't let people push you around just because you're a second year!" said Shishido. "You're a better tennis player than most of the people here!"

"You…really mean that Shishido?" said Choutarou, his eyes filled with tears.

"MOVING ON." Banji said, getting annoyed with the constant Silver Pair interruptions. "Tezuka? Worst at tennis?"

"David." Tezuka answered as if it was a sort of DUH answer.

"Aw man…" said David. "I was hoping he'd get THAT one wrong…even though I happen to think it's WRONG!"

"That one is right." Said Banji. "The same question goes to Ryoma. Who is the worst at tennis on your team?"

"Uh…" said Ryoma. He sighed. "Hiyoshi?" he tried.

"NO!" said Saeki. "WRONG WRONG WRONG!"

Saeki then looked like he was going to tear out his hair because he was THAT frustrated.

"We are SO playing the name game when we get back to the house." Said Yukimura, looking content.

"So yeah…Sakurai would have been the right answer…" Banji said, looking uneasy as he passed Ryoma. "Sengoku? Go ahead."

"It must look like I'm picking on you Itsuki, but I believe it to be true." Sengoku said.

"It's okay, Sengoku." Said Itsuki.

"And we have another right answer." Said Banji. "How do you get all the answers?"

"I'm just lucky I guess!" said Sengoku, looking overly pleased with himself.

"Very well." Said Banji. "Akutsu, if you don't answer this correctly and Jirou answers HIS correctly, then your team is automatically eliminated."

"Fine…" said Akutsu. "The worst at tennis is…the second year! Kaidou!"

"NO, god damn it, not ME!" said Kaidou SO angrily that once again Olaf's services were required.

"The correct answer was Atsushi." Said Banji.

"Sniffle…" said Atsushi, wiping a tear from his eye as Ryou laughed in his face.

"So, Jirou, if you answer this correctly, then you successfully eliminate Team Six. And if Team Eight answers incorrectly as well, then you will have managed to eliminate them as well."

"Bring it on!" said Jirou, looking excited.

Banji waited.

"Same question, Jirou." He said finally.

"Oh right!" Jirou said. "Boy, am I embarrassed." Then he started thinking. "Okay, all the pressure's on me to eliminate some teams! I am going to say… out of everyone on my team… TETSU is the worst at tennis!"

"And he is…" Banji paused for dramatic effect, as Team Six leaned in eagerly.

"IS?" demanded Akutsu.

"CORRECT!" said Banji. "Team Six is eliminated and Team Eight risks being eliminated!"

"Go Jirou, go Jirou, it's your birthday, it's your birthday!" said Jirou excitedly. He even got Inui to temporarily raise the roof, BUT THAT'S IT.

"So Atobe, if you don't successfully identify the worst tennis player on your team then your team will be eliminated as well." Said Banji. "It's all on you."

"This is a shot in the dark." Said Atobe. "Because compared to me, anyone is a poor tennis player." He looked at the enraged and disgruntled faces of his teammates. "…Shinji?"

"I'm sorry." Said Banji. "That is also incorrect. I'm afraid your team is out of the competition as well."

"It is no fault of mine." Said Atobe.

"All right!" said Banji. "With the sixth round completed, the score is as follows! Team Seven continues to hold onto their lead with six points! Teams Three and Five continue be only a step behind with five points! Team One has four points, Team Two has three points and—"

Then he paused.

"Oh wait." He said. "Teams Two and Four are actually eliminated."

"What?" said those two teams.

"I did math wrong." Said Banji. "Even if you guys got the next to questions right and Jirou got them wrong, then you still wouldn't be able to beat him. So you two are out as well."

"Aww…" said all the teams that were eliminated.

"So all we have left is Teams One, Three, Five and Seven!" said Banji.

"OMFG THE ODD NUMBERS!" screamed everyone.

"So I will ask the last two questions, if necessary." Said Ojii. "Fuji, if you get this question wrong then your team will be eliminated since your team has only four points. Do you understand?"

"Yes." Said Fuji. "Yes I do."

"So…" said Ojii. "Who out of your team, contributes the most to the family?"

Fuji sighed slightly and then, once again, crossed and uncrossed his legs.

"Ta—" Fuji started.

"JIROU POWER!" Jirou screamed, jumping up on his chair. "OH MY GOD! I'M CONTROLLING THIS WHOLE GAME!"

Fuji looked over at Jirou and then faced forward again. "My answer is Taka." He finished.

"That is right." Said Ojii. "You are still in the competition, unless Jirou answers his question right, then you are automatically eliminated."

"Is that so?" said Fuji.

"YES!" said Jirou. "JIROU CONTROLS THE GAME AGAIN!"

"Wait your turn, Jirou." Said Ojii. "Tezuka. Who contributes the most on your team? And keep in mind, even if you answer this question wrong, you will still be in the competition for the last question."

"My answer is…me." Said Tezuka. "I am the leader of this team."

Another silent wind blew by.

"How embarrassing…" came the whispers.

"Your team answered with Kabaji." Said Ojii.

"Kabaji?" Tezuka repeated. "WHY?"

"Because he sleeps outside so we don't have to." Aoi confessed.

"But don't worry, you're still in the competition." Said Ojii. "Sengoku?"

"Contributes the most?" Sengoku tapped his foot. "Hm…well…good question… should I go with what I believe or what I believe the team believes?"

"What the team believes goddamn it!" yelled the team.

"Maybe I'll just go with everybody's favorite Mom slash Sister slash Dad…" said Sengoku. "Shishido! Let's have a round of applause for him!"

Everyone else knew it was a joke, but Choutarou jumped up and clapped because he always jumps at a chance to praise Shishido. But then he realized no one else was doing it so he slowed his clapping and sat down, looking embarrassed.

"Humiliate me…" said Shishido. "But you don't have to drag Choutarou into it!"

"It was his fault for actually clapping." Sengoku pointed out.

"Whether it was a deliberate attempt to humiliate or if it was your actual answer, it's still right!" said Ojii.

"HA!" said Shishido. "I contribute the MOST! Take that!"

"Whatever!" said Sengoku.

"It SHOULD be me…" said Oishi, but Kamio only stared at him with his mouth hanging open. He still had something against him. And he would for all of time.

"All right, Jirou." Said Ojii. "If you get this right then you eliminate Team One and Team Three."

"What's this?" said Tezuka. "AND Team Three? Since when?"

"Well," said Ojii. "If you noticed, you only have five points. If Jirou gets this one right, he'll have seven points. With only one question after that, it's impossible for you to catch up."

"You didn't say that before." Tezuka reminded him.

"I must have forgotten." Said Ojii. "I'm old you know."

"Hurry up!" said Jirou. "Ask the question!"

"You already know the question." Said Ojii.

"I forgot it." Jirou admitted.

Ojii sighed. "Who contributes the most to your family?"

"Oh gee…" said Jirou. "All the other questions were so easy… this one's kind of tough…well, every time I wake up, I notice that Inui's talking some kind of weird strategy…so…" Jirou paused. "Inui! That's my guess!"

"And it's correct!" said Ojii. "That means that Team One AND Team Three is eliminated!"

"I would have preferred more notice prior to our elimination." Said Tezuka.

"Jirou, let's play another tennis match someday." Said Fuji, getting horseshoe eyes again. He had full intentions to just kill him. Playing a tennis match was just gangstah for killing, and everyone knows how gangstah Fuji is.

"All right!" said Ojii. "There's one question left and only two teams. Sengoku, if you get this right and Jirou gets his wrong then we will have a tiebreaker. If you answer wrong, or if Jirou answers right, then he wins."

"The odds don't seem to be in my favor…" Sengoku admitted. "Looks like I just have to hope for Jirou to fail."

"Yeah, pretty much." Said Ojii. "Ready? Who has contributed the LEAST to your family?"

"Come on, Sengoku!" cheered Team Five.

Sengoku pondered and considered and thought and rethought his response. Finally, he stood.

"My answer is not my personal belief once again." He declared. "I believe that my fake family believes that I, Sengoku, am the least contributor!"

With that, he sat back down and started biting his nails.

"Well, young man," said Ojii. "You are correct!"

"YES!" said Sengoku, jumping up and doing a victory dance.

"Now it's all on Jirou." Said Ojii. "If you answer this right, you win. If you answer it wrong, there's a tiebreaker."

"What are the odds of us winning, Inui?" Tetsu whispered.

"Impossible to say." Inui concluded. "Jirou is very unpredictable and quite inconsistent."

"Who contributes the least to your family?" said Ojii.

"You know what I love?" said Jirou. "This challenge comes down to the two people whose families believe contribute the least to their family!"

"RIGHT!" said Ojii as he pulled a confetti ball. "Team Seven wins!"

"YAY!" cheered Team Seven as they ran over in slow motion and easily hoisted Jirou up on their shoulders. Actually, it was so easy considering they were ALL so much larger than he was that they accidentally tossed him but luckily they caught him again.

"Congratulations, Team Seven." Said Sakaki. "You have won today. When you get back to your house, you will discover a special prize."

"As for the rest of you." Said Ryuuzaki to the rest of the players. "You will discover the dire consequences for failing to complete your appointed tasks."

Dramatic scary music played.

"All right, get some sleep!" said Banji. "Tomorrow's another big day!"

The families that had members that which did not complete their tasks felt hesitant about returning, but Team Seven certainly had a skip in their step.


	25. In Which There Are Dire Consequences

Night Three  
Team One  
"Wait so how many of us didn't complete our tasks?" Yana questioned as they moved up to the front door. "I know I didn't because Fuji wouldn't eat the popcorn I made." 

"I didn't because Fuji discouraged all my potential arguments with Yana…" Taka said.

"I didn't because Fuji wouldn't switch clothes with me." Kirihara said.

"And I didn't because Fuji told Taka where I hid his precious item." Mizuki crossed his arms.

They all looked at Fuji.

"Well, I did MY task." Fuji shrugged.

"I guess we all just have to face the consequences of our failure." Said Taka sadly.

Taka pushed the door open and everyone entered, except for Fuji who grabbed Mizuki's arm and held onto it firmly. No one else noticed this and just continued into the house.

"Mizuki…" Fuji said pleasantly.

"…What?" Mizuki said slowly.

"I don't like people referring to me as the devil." Fuji said.

"I didn't call you the devil."

"You called me Lucifer."

"Are you sure that was me…?" Mizuki said nervously, tugging at his collar.

"I am quite sure." Fuji nodded.

Just then, Kirihara, Yana and Taka's yells of utter despair came from inside the house. In the moment Fuji was distracted, Mizuki ran in to join them, and then Fuji calmly entered as well.

"Our furniture…it's all gone!" wept Yana as he held up the note, and Fuji took it since he figured he was entitled.

Fuji took it and glanced around the room to see that this was, in fact, true. The couch, the kitchen table and the television were all missing. There were only empty voids where they SHOULD have been.

"It's a good thing we have TWO comfy chairs." Said Kirihara.

Fuji opened up the letter. "_Team One_," he read out loud. "_Perhaps you have noticed that you are missing some of your furniture. For every person in your family that failed to complete his task, we have taken one piece of furniture. We apologize for the inconvenience."_

"Oh it's not THAT bad." Said Mizuki.

"Wait…" said Taka. "We should have FOUR pieces of furniture missing. Television… couch… table… that's only three. What's the fourth one?"

They all looked at each other and then decided to go on a scavenger hunt.

The first place Yana looked was the Kid's room and he dropped to his knees when he saw the terrible sight. Everyone else filed in behind him and gasped.

"THE BUNK BEDS!" he shrieked. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

"Where are we going to sleep tonight?" complained Kirihara.

"Yeah, no couch either." Mizuki frowned.

"This really IS a problem." Said Fuji with a nod.

"We wouldn't be having this problem if you hadn't sabotaged all of our tasks!" said Mizuki angrily to Fuji.

"Calm down, Mizuki, remember who you're talking to, okay?" Yana said desperately as Fuji just stood there and took it all.

"Oh yeah." Said Mizuki. "We're talking to LUCIFER."

Fuji gave a contented sigh. "Mizuki…" he started walking towards him but everyone else dove on top of Fuji to hold him back.

Team Two  
"We're so fortunate that we completed all of our tasks!" said Choutarou as he made some meatloaf to feed to his hungry family. 

"Yeah, I was talking to Oishi at the challenge and he said that he didn't complete his task." Eiji said, looking nervous. "I hope nothing TOO dire happens to him."

"Well, the note DID say dire consequences." Choutarou said as he set the timer.

"Oshitari also didn't do HIS task." Said Gakuto. "I hope nothing dire happens to him too."

"I'm glad Shishido did his." Choutarou gave a sigh of relief. "I would hate it if I found out that there were terrible consequences. He works so hard you know. He doesn't deserve anymore hardships."

"I miss Oishi…" Eiji said sadly.

"Well, Jackal says—" Marui started but Momo slammed his hands down in the table to interrupt.

"Well, well!" said Momo. "Isn't this nice? Everyone sitting around the dinner table! Let's start a friendly conversation!"

The others were silent.

"So…how about them—" Momo was going to try to bring up some tennis team that he really idolized but he knew that would only lead to a discussion on their doubles players, which would of course lead to a discussion about everyone's appointed doubles partner that they missed so very much. "…Red Sox?"

"Red Sox?" everyone repeated, sounding utterly baffled.

"You know what?" said Momo. "Never mind! Let's talk about something else!"

"We WERE talking about something before you interrupted us to ask if Ootori finished the laundry." Said Gakuto.

"Which of course REMINDS me…" Choutarou said as he departed kitchen.

"Indulge us, Momo." Said Marui. "Why do you hate doubles so much?"

"I don't hate doubles." Said Momo. "I just don't LOVE it."

"That's just silly." Said Eiji. "You either play doubles or you don't."

"Well I play doubles AND singles." Momo said. "And I'm good at both."

The others coughed under their breath.

"Hey!" said Momo. "You guys said I was the best at tennis on this team!"

"We said that because you're a singles player." Said Gakuto. "If we were to play a singles match against you, you'd probably beat us, just because we're so used to doubles."

"It's not that hard to transition." Said Momo. "I'm sure if you guys played a few practice matches as singles players, you'd easily be able to play singles against me and win. I'm not THAT great."

"Now you're just fishing for compliments." Said Marui.

"That's not true!" argued Momo.

"Does anyone have any whites you want…" Choutarou started as he walked into the kitchen with a laundry basket but froze completely solid with his mouth half open.

"Ootori…?" said Eiji, jumping up. "Are you okay?"

"Oh…yes…" said Choutarou, clearing his throat. "Yes, I am."

"What's wrong?" Momo asked.

"You look like you've seen a ghost." Said Marui.

"It's just…" Choutarou began. "When I walked in here… and Marui was wearing his hat on backwards…I… I just… for a second…I guess… even though I knew it was impossible… I thought he was Shishido!"

Choutarou then burst into tears, dropped the laundry basket and ran out of the room. All the other people who play doubles obsessively ran in to comfort him so he wouldn't be crying alone, leaving Momo to tend to the cleanup of the laundry and the cooking of the meatloaf.

Team Three  
"It was a good idea to move the cot in here so we can continue to plot against Tezuka without him getting suspicious." Said Aoi as he, David and Tachibana all sat in the Kid's room on their assigned beds. 

"How is he not getting suspicious just because we moved the cot in here?" Tachibana questioned.

"Because now he doesn't have to wonder where you are all the time." Said Aoi. "He can ASSUME we all went to bed."

"It's kind of early for that." Said Tachibana, checking his watch. "I almost think this is MORE suspicious."

"Well whatever!" said Aoi. "It's not like we're keeping it a secret from him anymore."

"We pretty much told him straight up that we were plotting against him." Said David. "In fact, I think we DID tell him straight up that we were plotting against him."

"Yeah…" said Tachibana. "Looking back at that move, I'm not thinking it was that great of an idea…"

"He can't do anything about it." Said Aoi. "This is his last night as the Dad in this family anyway. There's no way he'll win the individual award for today's challenge after he failed to answer the questions right."

"He did come in third…" David reminded him.

"Yeah well…he didn't WIN!" Aoi tried.

"Well, he did pretty well, regrettably…" Tachibana said sadly.

"All right, fine." Said Aoi. "I was TRYING to look on the bright side of things, but you guys just shot me down every time. SO NEVER MIND."

"…Sorry…" said Tachibana and David very apologetically.

Just when they were going to get down to business, there was a knock at the door.

"It's Tezuka, don't answer it." Said Tachibana.

"Why would Tezuka knock on the door?" said Aoi.

"Who else would it be?" said Tachibana.

David went over to the door and opened it up a crack.

"Hey guys, it's Kabaji." Said David.

Everyone stared at each other blankly as they opened the door up all the way.

"Um…hi Kabaji." Said Aoi.

"What's new?" David asked.

"Something you said." Said Kabaji, pointing at Aoi. His sudden speech scared the bageezers out of everyone.

"I said?" Aoi asked.

"You said 'Because he sleeps outside so we don't have to' and you were talking about me." Kabaji said.

"Um…yeah!" said Aoi. "You've been doing that!"

"Tell me," said Kabaji. "Is this something I don't have to be doing?"

"Uh…well…" Tachibana stood up. "Technically no since you're not the Pet anymore, but…you just seemed to like it so much that we decided to just leave you alone…"

"Why didn't you tell me?" asked Kabaji.

"Well, like I said, you seemed to like it so much." Tachibana admitted.

"What makes you think I liked it?" Kabaji's eyes narrowed.

"Well…cause you never left the doghouse except to come in and eat or go to challenges." David said.

"Where am I SUPPOSED to be sleeping?" said Kabaji.

"Since you're the Mom…I guess you're supposed to be sleeping in the big bed in the other room." Aoi said.

"Oh." said Kabaji as he departed the Kid's room.

The three remaining in the Kids room all looked at each other and gave heavy sighs of relief. Then they realized how funny this was going to be and couldn't possibly miss it so they all dove for the door.

Of course, they all got stuck in the doorway because they are such comical characters who would definitely find themselves in such a situation. Once Aoi squeezed out and released everyone from the tight spot, they ran to the Parents room and stood outside, eagerly listening to what kind of horror that would befall Tezuka in only a moment's time.

Team Four  
"Guys." Said Ryoma as the five of them all lied on the living room floor staring at the ceiling. 

"Don't say it." Said Saeki.

"But…"

"Don't say it." Saeki repeated.

"I really don't think it was our best idea to just ignore the tasks…" Ryoma said.

"ALL RIGHT!" said Saeki, sitting up. "Don't you think we noticed that?"

"We've lost our couch, our comfy chair, our big bed, our bunk beds and the kitchen table." Hiyoshi reported apathetically.

"How sad!" said Sakurai, crying into his arm.

"Where are we going to sleep tonight?" Yukimura asked.

"We could always pretend we're having a sleepover and see if there are any sleeping bags in the shed." Hiyoshi suggested.

"Actually, I think I saw a few." Sakurai said. "I could go get them and we could lie them out on the floor."

"There's got to be a better way to do it though." Said Saeki, standing up. "What if our teachers are testing us and they only HID our furniture someplace?"

All the people still lying down looked at each other.

"Okay… so I'll check in the shed." Hiyoshi said. "And when I DON'T find the furniture, I'll bring the sleeping bags back in here."

"Come on, with that attitude, what makes you think we'll EVER find our furniture?" said Saeki.

"Where do you expect to find the furniture?" said Ryoma. "This house is so small. We can practically see in every room from where we are. And it's not like you can just hide furniture."

"Yeah." Said Sakurai. "Furniture is usually something you hide other things with."

"It won't hurt to look!" said Saeki as he paraded off.

Hiyoshi sat up. "Does anyone want to help me get those sleeping bags?" he asked.

"Yeah, I'll come." Said Ryoma, sitting up as well.

Yukimura and Sakurai continued lying there.

"So." Said Yukimura, putting his hands on his chest and looking over at Sakurai. "How are you?"

"…Good." Said Sakurai.

"Are you in good health?" Yukimura asked.

"As far as I know." Sakurai answered. "And you're not, I bet."

"No." said Yukimura. "I'm not."

"I'm sorry." Said Sakurai.

"It's all right." Said Yukimura.

The two of them continued lying there until Saeki returned.

"I didn't find the furniture anywhere…" he confessed.

"We TOLD you." Said Sakurai.

"Oh well." Said Saeki. "It's not like it was THAT time consuming to go off and search for it. Where are Hiyoshi and Ryoma?"

"They went to go get the sleeping bags in the shed." Yukimura answered.

"Oh yeah!" said Saeki. "We can't forget to play the name game when they get back considering Ryoma doesn't know any of our names."

Almost exactly when he said that, Ryoma and Hiyoshi both entered carrying some sleeping bags.

"These smell pretty bad." Hiyoshi said.

"It's all we've got." Said Sakurai. "Our couches didn't even leave any of our blankets or pillows."

"They took…EVERYTHING." Said Saeki very dramatically.

"Let's start setting up." Said Sakurai as he stood up and grabbed one of the sleeping bags.


	26. In Which There is Controversy

Team Five  
"This is DEVASTATING to our team!" said Shishido as he stood in the place where the television once was. "Why would they take our television? It's just too cruel!" 

"Now we have these video games, but no screen in which to project them." Said Itsuki sadly.

"This is all YOUR fault!" said Kamio, pointing at Oishi. "If you had completed your task, we would still have our television!"

"No, it's not my fault." Said Oishi. "It's YOUR fault for not giving me my envelope and at least giving me an opportunity to complete my task. I'm just glad that the consequences weren't… shaving my head or something…"

"That would just be dumb." Said Sengoku.

"Yeah." Everyone agreed.

Then they looked at Sengoku.

"HEY!" they yelled. "OUTSIDE PET!"

"Didn't we learn anything from losing our television?" Sengoku pleaded desperately as everyone ambushed him and tossed him out the door onto the front lawn. "But I did so well in the challenge!"

They were unable to hear the end of his statement, however, because they had slammed and locked the door. Had they heard his statement, perhaps they would have been more forgiving. Then again, he didn't WIN the challenge. So probably not.

"Now that THAT'S over with…" said Shishido, clapping his hands together and returning into the living room only to be devastated. "Aw man! No television!"

"That didn't take you too long to forget about." Said Kamio.

"I've been thinking, Shishido…" said Oishi slowly. "Sengoku did very well in the challenge."

"So?" said Shishido. "Are you saying you want to let him back inside? Because that is SO not happening!"

"Well, that wasn't my point." Oishi admitted. "My point is… well, YOU did nothing outstanding. If anything, you were kind of antagonizing everyone AND annoying our coaches, who happen to be the judges of the individual winners… and Sengoku was really impressing them…"

"So what are you saying?" said Shishido with a glare.

"I'm saying there's a chance that Sengoku won the individual challenge." Oishi explained.

"Not likely." said Shishido. "It's not like he won or anything."

"Well, keep in mind that if it turns out that he DID win, then you're outside next." Said Oishi.

"How do you know something like that?" demanded Shishido.

"Because you're the one who put HIM outside." Kamio said. "Come on, that's obvious."

"And that's not even my point yet." Said Oishi. "My point is… maybe if you let him in NOW, he might reconsider putting you outside next and maybe that'll be how we end the cycle of this outside pet thing."

"Yeah…but…" Shishido started. "If he DIDN'T end up winning, then I'll have let him back inside for no reason."

"Well…" Oishi said. "No reason other than you're a nice guy. Far above Kamio and I, anyway."

"I had a good reason." Said Kamio. "YOU were just psychotic."

"That being said, I recommend letting Sengoku back inside." Oishi concluded.

"But if he lets Sengoku back inside…" Itsuki reasoned. "And Sengoku ends up winning and switching the family around… he might not automatically chose to make Shishido the Pet… and then there's a chance that one of US might be the Pet next!"

Oishi and Kamio looked at Itsuki and then back at Shishido.

"Never mind, there's no chance at all that Sengoku could have possibly won." Kamio said.

"Definitely not." Oishi agreed. "He lost the challenge for us after all."

"Yeah!" said Shishido. "That's what I'VE been saying!"

Team Six  
"You know what I wish we had?" Kaidou said to his family.

"What?" said Ryou.

"A kitchen table." Kaidou answered.

They were all foolishly sitting in their kitchen chairs except there was an empty void in which there was no table.

"Yeah." Said Oshitari. "Sorry about that."

"Would it really have been THAT hard to switch clothes with Akutsu?" Kaidou demanded.

"Yes." Said Oshitari. "A little."

Just as he said that, Akutsu came in through the backdoor.

"What in the fiery pits of the seven hells is THIS?" he demanded, holding up a small misshapen block of wood with a wire attached to it. The wood had a hole in it that had little nestly items falling out of it.

"Who gave you permission to touch that?" Kaidou yelled, jumping to his feet.

"You did, by leaving it outside where anyone could have bumped into it while they were walking by!" said Akutsu. "It's a good thing I was wearing this helmet, I can tell you that much, or else I could have gotten a very serious injury!"

Akutsu then threw the block of wood to the ground.

"How dare you!" said Kaidou.

"What is that?" Atsushi said, leaning over.

"It's nothing!" Kaidou picked it up and hid it so no one could see.

"Is that… a birdhouse?" said Oshitari as he adjusted his glasses only to realize that he needed a re-taping job.

"NO!" said Kaidou.

"Isn't that the project you made at the first challenge?" inquired Ryou.

"NO it's not!" said Kaidou angrily as he walked out the back door and slammed it shut.

Akutsu watched Kaidou go, and then smugly went over to the empty seat and sat down.

"You know, it's kind of stupid to just sit in a circle." Said Akutsu.

"Yeah, we know." Said the other three.

"And you know what else?" said Akutsu.

"No, what else?" said the other three.

"I've decided to get rid of everything in this house that would be dangerous in the event of a earthquake." Said Akutsu.

The others paused.

"…Which is essentially everything that isn't bolted down, right?" said Oshitari.

"Yes." Said Akutsu. "And we will also remove everything that isn't fire safe."

"Which is essentially everything that's flammable." Atsushi said.

"Yes." Akutsu said. "And we will continue to accommodate our living conditions until it is completely safe from any sort of situation whatsoever."

Akutsu leaned back in his chair and continued to look smug.

"I think you're taking this whole safety public service announcement hallucination a little too far." Said Oshitari.

"WHAT?" said Akutsu, putting all four legs on the ground again. "How dare you say that! I will…seriously, I really will kill you!"

"All right." Said Oshitari, backing up. "Completely safe environment it is."

"Good." Said Akutsu. "I knew if I threatened your life you would see it my way and keep yourselves safe. Now when can I expect you all to wear your helmets again, or do I have to give you all a second black eye?"

He threatened them all with his shaking fist. The others started looking around for where they had discarded their helmets.

"Not so tough without your second year to fight for you, are you?" said Akutsu with an evil grin.

Team Seven  
"I suspect that perhaps the disco ball is a shell holding our real prize inside…" Said Renji as he carried a stepladder into the living room. 

When they had entered their house, they had found that the only change that had occurred was the addition of a brand new disco ball. As they searched and searched the house for anything else that was different, they only came up empty handed. They had completed all their tasks so there was no reason for them to be gypped out of a REAL prize…

"Okay, like a piñata?" Tetsu questioned as Renji stepped up and reached for the disco ball.

"Let's just break it open." Sanada said.

"Do you have a baseball bat?" Inui asked.

"STOP RIGHT THERE." Came a voice behind them.

They all turned around to see Jirou standing there in his Batman pajamas that came complete with a cape and everything.

"What is it?" asked Renji.

"Did I overhear you talking about destroying our amazing prize that I earned?" Jirou demanded, stomping over.

It was hard to take him seriously though because he was so small and he was wearing Batman pajamas complete with the cape and everything.

"We suspect that our real prize is within the disco ball." Inui said.

"REAL PRIZE?" Jirou repeated in disgust. "How much realer than a disco ball can you get?"

"Money?" Sanada tried.

"Candy?" Tetsu offered.

"Those would be good, but seriously…" said Jirou. "This disco ball is the best thing that could have ever happened to us."

"How so?" said his entire team.

"JUST DON'T BREAK IT!" Jirou begged, getting on his knees.

The other four looked at each other.

"Well, technically, it IS his prize…" Tetsu said.

"It is the entire family's prize." Inui said.

"Look, Jirou, it doesn't even work." Said Renji. "There's no kind of apparatus anywhere on it to turn it on. And there's no wire connecting to it that would connect to an apparatus to turn it on."

"I refuse to allow you to destroy my hopes and dreams!" cried Jirou.

"You're talking about a disco ball here." Said Sanada.

"Hey, hey." Said Tetsu. "How about we sleep on it? Maybe in the morning, we'll get a prize for not doing the expected thing that would be destroying the disco ball to find a better prize."

Inui and Renji looked at each other.

"That was very astute of you." Said Inui. "How much data did you gather to come to that conclusion?"

"I just feel bad for Jirou because he's so excited about the disco ball." Tetsu admitted.

"Very well." Said Renji, stepping down. "But if we don't get rewarded tomorrow, I am taking that disco ball apart."

"Thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you!" exclaimed Jirou.

"So let's all sleep on it then." Sanada sighed. "Now get out of the living room because this is my bedroom too."

The rest of the family shuffled out as Sanada shut the lights off.

As soon as he did, the room suddenly illuminated with lights from the disco ball as it spun beautifully.

"Woooowwww…" said Jirou, his eyes lighting up as brightly as the disco ball.

"Oh no." said Sanada. "Don't tell me our coaches actually wired in the disco ball to our light switch so that it turns on every time we turn the lights off…"

Sure enough, when he turned the lights back on, the disco ball turned off.

"NO!" Jirou shouted. "I LIKE THE DISCO BALL!"

"Tell you what, Jirou, you can sleep in the disco ball room tonight." Said Sanada.

"GLADLY!" Jirou shouted as he started jumping on the couch and the rest of the family departed to their appointed sleeping areas.

Team Eight  
"Great, now we don't even have a couch we can fight over." Yuuta said sadly to Shinji as both of them sat on the floor of the living room. 

"Or a comfy chair we can use as a last resort to fight over." Shinji agreed. "Or a television we can watch while we wait in vain for the other person to fall asleep first."

"I shouldn't be punished for this." Yuuta crossed his arms. "I did MY task."

"Should we take Bane and Jackal up on their offer to share the bunk beds?" Shinji asked.

"They weren't being serious." Said Yuuta. "They were just saying that so they'd look like heroes because they knew we'd reject them."

"Well…yeah." Said Shinji. "That would have been really awkward."

"It's awkward just sharing a queen sized bed." Yuuta said. "I imagine."

"Probably." Shinji agreed.

The two of them sighed.

"This isn't fair." Said Yuuta. "Atobe's the Pet! HE should be the one dealing with this problem! Not us!"

"He also didn't do his task." Shinji pointed out.

"Well neither did you." Said Yuuta.

"Well neither did he." Shinji said.

"We covered that already." Yuuta reminded him.

"You know what?" said Shinji, standing up and looking determined. "I've suddenly been overcome with the sheer determination and belief in myself to go into that room and confront Atobe!"

"Really?" said Yuuta, standing up as well.

"I believe in me." Said Shinji.

"I believe in you too!" Yuuta cheered.

Shinji started marching towards the Parent's room, but he had hardly cleared the kitchen before he crumpled in shame and turned away from his goal.

"Shinji, no!" said Yuuta. "You must be strong!"

"He's too…intimidating…" said Shinji helplessly, clenching his fist in despair.

"Living in fear day in and day out…" said Yuuta dramatically. "This isn't the way we were supposed to live! We're human beings, goddamn it! We shouldn't have to constantly bow to every whim of one man!"

"Correct me if I'm wrong, Yuuta…" said Shinji. "But isn't Fuji Shuusuke your brother?"

Yuuta glared at him, stood up, turned around and crossed his arms, instantly becoming very cold.

"Yeah." He said. "So?"

"So…" said Shinji. "Don't you know how to deal with scary intimidating people?"

"Whoa." Said Yuuta. "I hope you didn't just compare Shuusuke to Atobe. Those two are on totally different tennis courts."

"How different?" said Shinji.

"Well, like…" Yuuta pondered. "While Shuusuke's on Court C, Atobe's probably on court D or B or something…"

"Oh." said Shinji. "So just different courts that are next to each other. But not that far away."

"I suppose." Said Yuuta. "But there's no way I can put my dealing with Shuusuke's skills to use when it comes to dealing with anyone except Shuusuke! You understand, don't you?"

"I guess…" said Shinji with a sigh. "What a disappointment…"

"Let's look on the bright side." Said Yuuta. "Today's almost over, and tomorrow's the fourth day. Which means there's only tomorrow and the day after and then we're done and we get to go home! How great is that?"

"Good I guess…" said Shinji. "I have been missing hanging out with Tachibana…"

"I can't wait to completely abandon Atobe." Yuuta agreed.

"Well, then I guess all we can do at this point is stick it out." Said Shinji.

"I guess." Said Yuuta.

Then the both of them went back to the living room to sleep on the floor.

"At least we both got at least one chance on the couch so it was fair." Said Shinji.

"Yeah, yeah…" Yuuta said.


	27. In Which There is an Intervention

Morning Four  
Team One  
Taka woke up on the morning of the fourth day and let out a mighty yawn. 

"YAAAAAAAAAAWWWWNNNN!" Taka said, stretching his arms up to the sky. "Oh boy! What a beautiful day!"

Then he looked around to discover that Fuji was still sleeping next to him, and Yana, Kirihara and Mizuki were all sleeping at the foot of the bed. He chuckled warmly to himself because he didn't remember sleeping in the fetal position all night, but apparently he had! Yay!

So he hopped out of bed, did his morning stretches and then went into the kitchen to fetch himself a nice breakfast meal. He simply adored Wheeties because it's the breakfast of champions, but as he made his way to the kitchen table to eat his breakfast of champions, he came to the horrible realization that the kitchen table was STILL missing. WTF.

"Aw man…" Taka frowned sadly.

"Look, we have mail."

Taka leapt high into the air and spilled the milk and the Wheeties all over the floor. He turned around to see Fuji standing there holding an envelope.

"Is that for the individual winner from yesterday?" Taka asked.

"Yes." Said Fuji, turning it around. "Everyone who had been isolated from has family that day was automatically the individual winner, no matter how poorly he did."

"Cough cough Ryoma, right?" said Taka with a jolly chuckle.

This made Fuji EVER so happy. "Oh Taka." He said.

Then Taka realized what this meant. "Wait, so you won again?" he inferred.

"Of course." Fuji said. "And, to avoid confusion, I'm just going to keep everything the way it is. Isn't that wonderful?"

"Um…" Taka said nervously. "If you define wonderful as—"

Luckily, before Taka could finish his sentence, the three other members of the family entered the kitchen.

"Did I just hear you say that you won the individual challenge again?" said Kirihara to Fuji.

"Yes." Said Fuji.

"Oh." said Kirihara. "Um… congratulations! You deserve it."

"Thank you." Said Fuji.

"By the way Fuji, it was really nice of you to let us all sleep in the bed last night." Said Yana. "Frankly, I didn't expect you to make such a sudden offer when it was time for the three of us to scramble to find a bed!"

"Oh PLEASE," laughed Fuji. "That's just cruel!"

"What happened here?" said Mizuki, looking at all the milk and Wheeties.

"That's none of your business, WHORE." Said Fuji as he bitch slapped Mizuki.

"HEY!" said Mizuki, regaining his balance. "What was that all about?"

"Mizuki…" said Fuji, recomposing himself. "I think I have been quite forgiving up until this point."

"Forgiving?" demanded Mizuki. "You just slapped me for no reason!"

"Mm…" said Fuji as he stepped around the mess and retrieved a mop from the pantry. "As the mother, I'll take the responsibility of cleaning up my clumsy husband's mess."

"Oh geez." Said Taka as Fuji happily started cleaning.

"Let me guess," said Kirihara as he pulled Taka aside. "He's keeping the family the way it is."

"Of course he is!" said Taka.

"Tell you all what!" said Fuji suddenly, leaning on the mop in a fashion that suggested he was ever so innocent. "Since we're out of Wheeties, I'm going to make a special personalized omelet for each of you! How about you all go outside and play, and come in one at a time in turn only when I call you?"

Fuji continued standing there looking happy and excited about his omelet idea. The other four members of the family slowly backed up, trying to get as far away as possible.

Team Two  
Choutarou was up early as usual. He was folding laundry and being ever so satisfied with himself and where he was. Every once and a while he would think of Shishido and become temporarily depressed, but whenever he felt sad, he just looked at that cuddly bear on the front of the laundry detergent and that brought his spirits back in a matter of seconds. 

So after getting his high from the bear, he turned back to his laundry that he was folding while sitting on the Parent's bed.

Then he took a moment and realized it was very quiet.

This concerned him a little bit, so he slowly put down his laundry and stood up.

"Is everything okay out there?" he called, leaning out the door.

"Everything's fine!" Momo assured him, poking his head around the corner and then quickly dodging out of view.

That was enough for Choutarou as he went back into the Parent's room, this time with a BRIGHT SMILE!

He was folding for not one minute before he suddenly heard something crash and break in the other room. Once again, he jumped to his feet and became concerned again. He ran out into the hallway this time.

"What just broke?" he said.

This time, he did not get a response from Momo.

"Hello?" he said, slowly advancing around the corner into the kitchen. No one was there either, so he went further into the living room.

This is where he found Eiji, Gakuto and Marui all sitting in kitchen chairs. Except it was obvious that they were not sitting there by choice, because they were all tied down using cords, duct tape, long sleeved shirts and pretty much anything else that could be found around the house.

"What happened here?" Choutarou said.

"Ootori!" yelled Eiji. "Look out!"

"Did you three tie yourselves up and plan on escaping from your bindings like Houdini?" said Choutarou with that face that said, "OH YOU KIDS!"

"NO NO!" said Gakuto frantically.

"What is it then?" said Choutarou, putting his hands on his hips.

"It's Momo—" Marui began but then his eyes widened. "Look out behind you!"

"Huh?" Choutarou slowly turned around only to be leapt upon by Momo. His yells of terror and cries for help were stifled as Momo wrestled him to the ground, and slowly his thrashing halted as he lied limply on the floor.

Momo stood up and looked triumphant as he threw a rag to the side.

"Hey…" said Eiji as he evaluated what just happened. "You didn't chloroform any of US."

"I think I'm offended." whined Gakuto.

"Have you SEEN him?" said Momo. "You guys are all half my height and weigh less than Ryoma's cat."

"I'm taller than you, Momo." said Eiji with a slight glare.

"Yeah, but I'm sure if you had asked him nicely, he would have just tied himself up." Marui pointed out.

"Probably." Said Momo as he dragged Choutarou to a chair.

"Speaking of which," said Eiji. "Why did you tie us up?"

"Oh." said Momo. "I'm staging an intervention because I care."

"An intervention?" Marui repeated.

"Yeah." Momo replied. "Your obsession with doubles is unhealthy. I'm going to do something about it whether you like it or not. It's what has to happen. And," he pulled an envelope out of his pocket. "I won the individual challenge, and as the DAD of this family, what I say goes, remember?"

"Oh, oh!" said Eiji. "Can I be the Pet?"

"Uh…sure." Said Momo.

"What does that make me?" asked Gakuto.

"The Sister." Momo answered.

"Aw man." Said Gakuto.

Team Three  
"You think he's going to buy this?" said Aoi nervously as he looked around the corner. 

"He HAS to!" said Tachibana. "It's not like he's memorized that coach's handwriting!"

"But don't you think it's a little suspicious that you wrote, _Because you sucked so much in the competition and we hate you_…" David started.

"Is that too much?" Tachibana asked.

"Yeah." Said Aoi. "A little too much. I don't know if Tezuka will believe the coaches wrote this letter."

"I just can't believe that they wrote THIS letter!" said Tachibana, holding up the letter they had just received in the mail. "Addressed to Tezuka, no less! They can't SERIOUSLY be awarding him the individual challenge! Not AGAIN!"

"It's a conspiracy, that's what it is!" said Aoi.

"So, even though it's dishonest and I hate dishonesty…" Tachibana said, returning to the letter he was forging. "The only way we're going to get out of the tyranny that is Tezuka Kunimitsu, is if the coaches award…" he slowly scribed the name 'Tachibana'. "ME with the individual award!"

"You?" said David. "Why you?"

"Because I'm a captain." Tachibana answered as if it was obvious.

"I'M a captain!" Aoi reminded him.

"Because I'm a third year." Said Tachibana.

"Oh." said Aoi and David with a nod.

"Okay, let's just throw away Tezuka's letter, and I'll parade in there like I own the place and kick him out of that room!" Tachibana said.

Tachibana marched towards the Parent's room with Aoi and David following eagerly behind him.

He flung open the door and was just about to rub his score in Tezuka's face, but Tezuka was talking on the phone.

"You don't say?" said Tezuka.

"Tezuka, we have to speak to you for a minute." Said Tachibana.

"One second." Tezuka said to Tachibana, and then he went back to the phone. "Even though you did terribly in the challenge you still won the individual aspect of it? I knew I picked the right person to be the pillar of Seigaku. What's that?"

Tezuka paused and listened. In the lull, he looked at Tachibana and mouthed 'RYOMA' to him.

Then he returned to the phone. "Oh the letter says the isolated person automatically won the individual award?" he said. "How thrilling. That certainly is good news for me. Hm?" he paused. "No, I won't change the family around. I've won the past few challenges too."

Tachibana looked back at Aoi and David, and then slowly back stepped out of the Parent's room.

"All right, bye." Tezuka hung up the phone. "Tachibana, what did you want to say to me?"

"Oh…um…" Tachibana fumbled with the letter in his hand. "Just that…"

"Oh, wait." Said Tezuka. "Did any mail come for me? Specifically, one from the coaches that informs me I am the winner? Ryoma just told me that I automatically won… so actually I don't really need the letter. I'll just let you know that I'm not changing the family at all."

Tachibana's mouth fell to the floor, as did Aoi's and David's.

"Now, your turn." Tezuka offered.

"Never mind…" said Tachibana as he pouted and stormed out of the room, slamming the door behind him.

"So much for that." Said Aoi.

"At least we know why Tezuka won!" said David.

Then both Aoi and Tachibana slapped him.

"Hey!" said David. "That wasn't a pun!"

"Oh." said Aoi. "Sorry about that then. I thought it was."

"Aww…" said David ultra sadly.

Team Four  
"We may not have beds…" Saeki started. 

"Or a kitchen table…" Sakurai continued.

"Or the comfy chair…" Ryoma went on.

"Or the couch…" Hiyoshi added.

"But at least we have our makeshift tennis court and our sidewalk chalk!" said Yukimura as he drew a scoreboard on the ground.

Sakurai and Saeki were on one side of the court while Ryoma and Hiyoshi were on the other side.

"All right, my serve." Said Ryoma, throwing the ball up into the air and performing the TWIST SERVE.

"OMFG THE TWIST SERVE!" screamed everyone.

"How did you manage to master the twist serve with a stick and a basketball?" said Hiyoshi quizzically.

"You still have a lot of work on." Said Ryoma like the tool he is.

"So, Ryoma, how's it feel to finally have some authority in the house?" Saeki said as he attempted to serve but his stick broke. He retrieved another one from the pile that was provided since the sticks broke a lot.

"It feels pretty good." Said Ryoma, returning the serve with ease. "Frankly, it's not affecting me as much as I thought it would."

"Well, I'm starting to feel the repercussions of being the Pet…" Saeki admitted.

"You deserved it." Ryoma said. "You've been mean to me all day every day so far."

"Well, you're a cocky first year!" said Sakurai as he threw the ball up in the air and went to overhand serve it but the ball broke his stick and hit him in the face. "Ow!"

"Maybe this ball is too big." Hiyoshi said with a frown.

"You think so?" said Sakurai sarcastically as he rubbed his face. "Is my nose bleeding?"

Saeki came over to investigate. "No." he answered.

"It feels like it is…" whined Sakurai.

"Whose turn is it to serve?" Ryoma asked.

"I haven't served in a while." Hiyoshi said, holding out his hand for the ball. Sakurai tossed it to him and he dribbled it a few times before failing at serving it just like everyone else.

"Okay, let me do it." Said Ryoma.

"Fine, but you're the only one who can." Said Hiyoshi, tossing him the ball.

"Naturally." Said Ryoma as he performed the twist serve as if he wasn't playing with a basketball and a stick they found on the ground.

Sakurai and Saeki marveled at the twist serve again as it flew by their faces.

"What's the score, anyway?" Saeki asked Yukimura after he retrieved the basketball and got ready to serve it back. Or at least ATTEMPTING to serve the ball back. But it's unlikely he would succeed. Because… you know. It's a basketball. And a stick.

"I can't keep track…" Yukimura admitted with a shrug. "There's too many faults and you guys are sort of just arbitrarily serving the ball whenever you feel like it's your turn. I'm confused."

"I wish we had real rackets." Said Saeki.

"And a real tennis ball." Hiyoshi agreed.

"And a real tennis court." Ryoma nodded.

"And…" Sakurai started, striving his brain. "A…uh… does the net count as part of the 'tennis court'?"

"Uh…whatever." Said Ryoma. "No."

"Okay, then I guess I wish we had a real net too!"

"And I wish we had a real scoreboard." Yukimura said,

"Do you think there's any place close by we can go and rent all that stuff and then play tennis for real?" Hiyoshi wondered.

"Probably." Ryoma said.

They all looked at each other and then silently collected their things, going on an exploration adventure to find the closest tennis facility.


	28. In Which It's Just For Kicks

Team Five  
"And STAY out there, outside Pet!" Sengoku called as he laughed at Shishido's expense and slammed the door. 

"I called that one." Said Oishi.

"We all called that one." Said Kamio.

"That's true." Said Itsuki.

Sengoku strolled back into the kitchen looking quite happy.

"Hurray!" he cheered. "I'm so glad Shishido got what was coming to him!"

"Well, now that you've decided that you're the Dad and Shishido's the outside Pet, do you have any plans for the rest of us?" Kamio asked.

"We could always stay the way we are." Itsuki shrugged. "I mean, all you did was switch with Shishido."

"Hm…" Sengoku said. "No, I'll change things up just to keep everyone guessing! Oishi, for kicks, you're going to be the Mom again!"

"…Oh." said Oishi.

"Kamio, have you been the Brother yet?" Sengoku asked.

"I don't know." Kamio shrugged. "Maybe. I don't think so though."

"Okay, then you be the Brother." Sengoku decided. "Itsuki, you be whatever's left."

"The Sister?" Itsuki guessed.

"Yes." Said Sengoku. "Now all of you switch around and make it official."

Sengoku turned around and clicked his heels as he went into the living room to watch the tube.

"Five, four, three, two…" Kamio started.

"NOOOOOOOOO!" screamed Sengoku as he ran back in. "I thought you guys were only kidding when you said they took our television away! Why would they do that? WHY?"

"Because Oishi didn't do his task." Itsuki said.

"YOU!" said Sengoku. "This is YOUR fault!"

"It's not MY fault!" said Oishi. "It's Kamio's fault because he didn't let me come inside in order to complete my task!"

"Then…it's KAMIO'S fault!" said Sengoku, turning to Kamio.

"No!" said Kamio. "It's Itsuki's fault!"

"Why?" said Itsuki and Sengoku. And Oishi.

"Because!" said Kamio. "It just is! Don't you get that vibe?"

Sengoku paused. "Yeah…actually I sort of do! Itsuki! How dare you!"

"It's not MY fault either!" said Itsuki. "It was…" he looked around the room and then pondered. "Oh yeah! It was SHISHIDO'S fault!"

"Shishido!" Sengoku repeated. "Of course… why didn't I see it before? Of course! It was him all along! That's why he didn't argue about going outside because he knew I would be devastated when I came in here to learn for myself that there is no television! For shame!"

"What are you going to do about it? Oishi asked.

"Nothing." Sengoku said as he ran back into the living room and jumped on the couch, lounging comfortably. The other three followed him simply because they had nothing better to do since there was no more television. "Oh it feels so good to not be sitting or sleeping on the ground! You all have no idea!"

"Actually…" started Oishi and Kamio.

"Well, ITSUKI has no idea!" Sengoku corrected himself.

"That's true…" said Itsuki. "I feel like I'm missing out on something that could be potentially life changing."

"You're not missing out on anything." Said Sengoku, Oishi and Kamio all together.

Team Six  
"This furniture is very heavy…" Ryou said as he, Atsushi and Oshitari carried the couch out to the front yard. Akutsu was sitting on the couch lying there like he was Cleopatra. 

"Hurry it up!" Akutsu said angrily. "What if there's acid rain and we're all stuck out here like idiots? We have to finish safe proofing our house!"

"Akutsu, don't you think you're going a little overboard…?" Oshitari started but Akutsu only threatened his life again. "Okay…never mind…"

They all tromped back inside to a nearly empty house.

"This carpets won't do." Akutsu decided. "We have to get rid of all the carpets in case of a fire."

The three slaves looked at each other.

"Are you serious?" Atsushi asked.

"Yes." Said Akutsu. "These carpets are a fire hazard."

"WHY are we doing this?" Ryou asked.

"Because it is important that we're all safe!" said Akutsu.

"But I've already stubbed my toe a few times, gotten my fingers crushed and dropped things all over the place and injured myself in other terrible ways!" said Atsushi.

"Not to mention the fact that we'll all likely develop bad backs from sleeping on the hard floor…" Oshitari agreed.

Akutsu thought that one over.

"Those are good points…" he admitted.

"Phew!" said the slaves.

Akutsu pondered and paced. Pondered and paced.

"All right! I've decided!" Akutsu said suddenly.

"What?" said the others.

"We are bringing all the furniture BACK into the house!" Akutsu announced. "And when I say 'we', I mean you guys. And bring the couch back in first because I want someplace to sit while you guys reverse all the damage you could have potentially done to our backs."

Akutsu then departed and left them with their work.

"Is he serious?" Ryou asked.

"I've been asking myself that all day." Oshitari admitted.

"Ever since he won that challenge and made him the Dad of the house, he's just totally taken over." Said Atsushi.

"He's always been like this." Ryou pointed out.

"Yeah, but he stupidly made Oshitari the Mom again!" said Atsushi. "Now we're all going to die from his cancer sandwiches!"

"Excuse me for the living." Said Oshitari.

"And I know Kaidou is going to get mad at Akutsu and start another fight because he made him the Pet!" said Atsushi.

"Probably." Oshitari agreed.

"And I'm getting sick of people making fun of me for my long hair!" said Ryou. Even though it seemed kind of like a random comment, the thought had been festering inside him for a couple of days now. Actually, it's probably been festering inside of him for longer than even HE knows! "You know he made me the Sister ONLY because I had long hair? And Kaidou made me the Mom ONLY because I had long hair?"

"I'm the Brother this time around." Atsushi said smugly.

"I am SO getting a haircut." Said Ryou.

"That's MY thing!" argued Atsushi.

"Where is Kaidou anyway?" said Oshitari. "We need him to come back and stick up for us."

"Yeah…" agreed Atsushi and Ryou.

Team Seven  
"Do you think he moved all night?" inquired Inui to his three other family members as they watched Jirou be totally mesmerized by the disco ball. 

"That is highly unlikely." Renji answered. "Though I couldn't tell you the exact chances, I'm willing to bet they are quite slim."

"Do you think we should disturb him?" Tetsu questioned, holding the letter that was addressed to none other than _Akutagawa Jirou_.

"He has to read the letter at some point." Said Sanada as he made his way to the light switch that controlled the disco ball. He looked at Jirou who didn't flinch at all, and then he turned off the disco ball.

There was an elapsed time of about one second before Jirou just collapsed to the ground and a heap.

"He had a seizure and we didn't know!" Tetsu exclaimed.

"No, no." said Inui. "He's just sleeping."

"How can you tell?" said Tetsu, but he felt stupid about asking five seconds later because he heard Jirou snoring.

"Let's see…" said Renji. "We went to bed at approximately twelve hours ago…and he did not sleep much during the day FOR HIM…"

"I estimate he will sleep for quite a while." Inui said.

"Then we should just open the letter for him, although it is a one hundred percent chance that it is merely a letter informing him that he has won the individual challenge." Renji said as he ripped a tiny piece of the letter, but Jirou's hand suddenly shot up and grabbed the envelope.

"Don't open my mail!" Jirou commanded as he sat up and enthusiastically finished ripping open the letter.

"What does it say?" Tetsu asked, leaning over his shoulder.

"I won!" Jirou exclaimed. "Of course I won. I ROCK!"

"Yes." Said the others, looking slightly annoyed.

"All right, for the family rearrangements, I suggest…" Inui started.

"Well, I am SO the Dad." Said Jirou, standing up.

"…Very well." Said Inui. "In that case, I recommend making Tetsu the Mom and then making…"

"Hm…Sanada!" said Jirou. "You be the Mom!"

"What?" said everyone.

"Tetsu, you be the Brother, okay?" Jirou said.

"…Why?" said Tetsu.

"I just feel like you'd make a good Brother." Said Jirou but he totally pulled that out of his ass.

"You are messing up my data." Said Inui.

"Your data?" Jirou raised an eyebrow.

"Yes." Said Inui. "You are splitting up the most compatible groups."

"Whatever!" said Jirou. "You be the Sister. And Renji…what's left?"

"The Pet." Renji answered.

"How fitting!" said Jirou. "Cause you made me the Pet on the second day!"

"Yes…yes I did." Renji nodded.

"Now we're all reassigned!" said Jirou. "How glorious!"

And then he saluted them and hopped onto the couch, falling asleep within a few seconds complete with the loud obnoxious snoring.

The others looked at each other.

"Well…" said Tetsu. "It didn't matter in the challenge yesterday. Maybe it won't matter in the challenge today."

"That is highly unlikely." Inui said, looking disappointed.

"He was being random." Renji frowned.

"Yes." Said Inui.

"At least I don't have to be the Pet anymore." Said Sanada.

"It's not like we're actually going along with those roles." Said Inui. "The only thing it affects is where you sleep."

"Yeah." Said Sanada. "Exactly. That's the biggest thing."

Team Eight  
Yuuta, Shinji, Bane and Jackal were all lying in the empty living room like fools as they listened to Atobe serenade them from the bathroom. 

"I swear I am going to slit his throat one of these days…" Jackal said through clenched teeth.

"Try sleeping out here and see if you dream about anything else." Shinji offered.

"Thanks, I'll pass." Said Jackal.

Atobe exited the bathroom, this time with a silk robe on since he obviously learned from his previous encounter in which everyone was standing outside the bathroom staring at him.

He was about to go straight to the Parent's room, but then he noticed everyone in the empty living room.

"Why are you all just sitting in an empty room?" Atobe inquired. "Where is all the furniture that normally goes in here?"

"You didn't notice before?" Shinji said.

"He went straight into our room when we got home yesterday, remember?" Yuuta said. "He didn't even come in here for dinner."

"Were you remodeling and something went horribly wrong?" Atobe guessed.

"No." said Yuuta. "For every person who didn't finish their task the other day, our coaches took away one piece of our furniture."

"Ahh…" said Atobe with a nod. "What a clever tactic on their part. Slightly evil, but clever."

Atobe gave a heavy sigh.

"Well, I take my leave."

With that, he left them all.

"Good riddance." Said Yuuta under his breath.

They all continued lying there for a while. I WOULD say they were like couch potatoes but there were two problems. First of all, there was no couch. Second of all, being a couch potato implies that they would have to be watching television, and as there is no television, they were not watching it. Thus, they were not couch potatoes.

Atobe returned fully clothed.

"Oh my." Said Atobe. "Still lying in the middle of the floor. Did any of you even move?"

"I itched my nose." Bane said.

"Other than that?" Atobe questioned.

"We don't need you JUDGING us." Said Yuuta.

"All right, fine." Said Atobe. "Then I WON'T tell you the new family assignments of the day."

"New family assignments?" Yuuta said, standing up immediately. "Did we get a letter?"

"Well…_I _got a letter." Said Atobe, holding the letter up. "I don't know about the lot of you. But you've all been lying here all morning, so I doubt you really know either."

"How could you have won again?" Yuuta demanded, taking the letter as the rest of the family came over to look as well.

"Oh look, the isolated family member automatically won this time around." Said Shinji. "We should have isolated someone else."

"There was no way to predict that he would win just because he's the outcast." Jackal said.

"That's true." Said Atobe.

"So what are your new family assignments?" said Yuuta.

"Hm?" said Atobe.

"New family assignments." Said Yuuta. "You said you had new family assignments for us. As in you're actually going to change them around, right?"

Atobe paused a moment. "Did I say that?" he said. "I don't recall saying that."

"You JUST said it." Bane said.

"Oh." said Atobe. "That just slipped out."

He snatched the letter back from Yuuta.

"Because I'm not changing anything."

"HATE!" yelled the whole family as they shook their fists at him while he just casually strode back into the Parent's room.


	29. In Which Hiyoshi is Violated

Day Four  
Team One  
Yana, Taka and Kirihara were all lying on their backs in the grass in the backyard looking up at the clouds.

"That one looks like a tugboat." Said Taka, pointing.

"Which one?" said Yana.

"That one right there." Taka answered. "Look at where I'm pointing. See?"

"Well…sort of…" Yana said.

"Not so much anymore." Taka sighed.

Kirihara rolled over suddenly. "Guys." He said, looking serious.

"Hm?" they both said.

"Have you noticed that both Fuji and Mizuki have been missing for like… twenty minutes?" Kirihara asked.

Yana and Taka both sat up straight and looked around.

"I remember Mizuki saying he had to go to the bathroom, but I don't even remember Fuji leaving." Said Yana.

They stared at each other.

The three stood up and slowly started tiptoeing towards the house. They poked their heads in the backdoor like a totem pole as they peered around the corner.

"…Hello?" Taka called quietly.

"Fuji?" Yana said.

"…Mizuki…?" Kirihara said nervously.

"Oh, hello everyone."

They all jumped and looked behind them to see Fuji standing there with horseshoe eyes as usual while holding a platter with four glasses of lemonade.

"I was just bringing this outside for everyone." He smiled.

"…Why are there only four?" Taka asked, his voice shaky.

"Oh, I'm not thirsty." Fuji admitted.

"So…one of those is for Mizuki, then?" Yana concluded.

"Yes." Said Fuji. "Where is he, by the way?"

Fuji leaned back so he could see past them in the backyard.

"We thought he was with you." Said Kirihara.

"That's why we were concerned." Taka added.

"Hm…no…" Fuji said, shaking his head.

"Are you SURE?" Yana asked suspiciously.

"Quite sure." Fuji nodded.

"Then you don't mind if we search the house in all the creepy places where one might potentially find a body, right?" Kirihara said as he and the other two quickly slipped by Fuji.

"Well, no." said Fuji as he followed him with his tray. "You can do whatever you'd like. As long as you drink my lemonade."

"Fuji, that lemonade is POISONED." Said Yana.

Fuji only continued following them, but it's not like he confirmed. But he also never denied it.

"Mizuki?" Taka called. "Are you alive?"

Just then, the front door opened and Mizuki walked inside.

"MIZUKI!" cheered Kirihara, Yana and Taka.

"Yaaay." Said Fuji, looking a little less excited.

"What's wrong with all of you?" said Mizuki, raising an eyebrow.

"We thought Fuji killed you!" said Yana.

"I was just checking the mail." Said Mizuki. "We haven't gotten anything yet."

"That's a relief." Said Taka as he turned to Fuji. "We're sorry for suspecting you, Fuji."

"That's all right." Said Fuji. "As long as you've learned your lesson. Now, lemonade anyone?"

The others looked at each other and all started making excuses as they sprinted away from Fuji as fast as they possibly could.

Team Two  
Choutarou was slowly coming around, and as his surroundings slowly came into vision, he saw most of the rest of his family sitting around him.

"Oh look, he's awake!" said Gakuto. "Welcome back Ootori!"

"What's going on?" said Choutarou. "Why am I tied up? Why is everyone tied up?" Then he looked in front of him to see a large easel with a rotating spiral and words underneath it that said, DOUBLES ISN'T THAT GREAT. This made him gasp. "And what is THAT?"

"Momo said he's performing an intervention, because he thinks we're too obsessed with doubles." Said Eiji.

"MOMO did this?" Choutarou gasped again.

"Yeah, and he chloroformed you." Said Marui.

"He what?" Choutarou gasped again again.

"We don't really know where he went though…" Gakuto admitted, looking around. "He sorta left a half an hour ago without saying when he was going to come back."

Just then they heard the door slam open.

"That must be him." Said Marui.

"Choutarou?" called a voice from the other room.

Choutarou looked perplexed. "That sounded like Shishido." He said.

"What?" said everyone else.

Choutarou turned his head as far as he could to see the doorway, and eventually someone rounded the corner. It was…oddly enough… Shishido!

"Choutarou…what the hell?" Shishido said, standing there looking shocked.

"Shishido!" Choutarou exclaimed. "I knew it was you!"

"…Shishido?" said Gakuto, Marui and Eiji.

"Guys, Shishido came to rescue us!" said Choutarou excitedly as Shishido came over.

"What's going on here?" he demanded. "Why are you guys all tied up? And…" he caught sight of the rotating spiral and it shocked him the most of all. "What the hell is THAT?"

"Momo tied us up and is making us listen to speeches about why we're too obsessed with doubles!" Gakuto whined.

"I can't believe you're here, Shishido!" said Choutarou.

"Yeah…" said Shishido. "My stupid family is making me stay outside all the time and I got bored so I figured I'd come over and visit you… and it's a good thing I did!"

"At first I thought it was too good to be true," Choutarou continued. "And then I sort of thought that maybe I was dreaming or that I was hallucinating since I'm still kind of dizzy from the chloroform—"

"CHLOROFORM?" Shishido practically screamed. "I'm getting you out of here Choutarou!"

"Oh, thank you Shishido!" said Choutarou happily as Shishido started pulling fruitlessly at Choutarou's bindings.

"Us too, us too!" cheered the other doubles players.

"Shishido is such a hero." Said Marui.

"I wonder if Oishi will show up to save me…" Eiji wondered, but then he noticed Momo slowly advancing towards Shishido who was EVER so distracted. "Look out, Shishido!"

"Wha…?" Shishido turned around only to be ambushed by Momo. The two of them started rolling around on the floor crashing into things and breaking things as all the captured people cheered for Shishido.

"You're going to ruin everything!" Momo yelled. "I was finally making progress with them!"

"You're on drugs!" Shishido yelled at him.

"No I'm not!" Momo argued.

Team Three  
The room was silent. The five family members were sitting all together for the first time in a long while.

Tezuka turned to Kabaji who was sitting on his right and held up a fan of cards. Kabaji took one of the cards, looked at it and then discarded one of the cards from his hand along with that one.

"Curses." Tezuka said under his breath.

Kabaji turned to Aoi, who was on HIS right, and offered a fan of cards to HIM.

Aoi was under SO much pressure, but without anymore Arrid, he didn't know what he was going to do to stifle his stench. Nevertheless, he reached out and took a card from Kabaji.

When he brought it back to his hand, he frowned.

"_I seem to have picked the Old Maid…" _Aoi observed. "_And darn it all! I frowned! Everyone probably knows now that I have the Old Maid!"_

His eyes darted back and forth.

"_But maybe…" _he thought. "_If I play it up over the top, then they might think that that frown was an attempt at a bluff…"_

"AWWWW MAN!" Aoi shrieked so loudly that everyone else at the table jumped and backed away from him.

"Calm down." Tachibana urged him.

"Sorry, I'm just SOOO disappointed!" Aoi said.

"_Yes…"_ thought Aoi. "_Now they all think that I don't have the Old Maid even though I DO…"_

Aoi didn't exactly know what that proved, though, but he presented his fan of cards to David so the game could continue.

David reached for a card.

"_Pick the Old Maid, pick the Old Maid, pick the Old Maid…!"_ Aoi pleaded in his head. "_If he doesn't pick the Old Maid then I'll only be able to date all the ugly girls in my grade!"_

David reached for a card that WASN'T the Old Maid, and then suddenly redirected and chose the Old Maid.

He took it back to his hand.

"_YES!" _Aoi screamed in his head. But he tried not to show it.

David didn't flinch. He just turned to Tachibana who calmly reached for David's fan of cards.

Tachibana took a card that wasn't the Old Maid and contently made himself another pair for his pile. Tachibana turned around to Tezuka, completing the circle.

As Tezuka placed his hand on one of Tachibana's cards, he suddenly threw his own cards up into the air, clutched his arm and collapsed to the ground.

"My shoulder!" Tezuka exclaimed as he writhed around on the floor.

This sudden action made everyone else at the table jump once again as they all watched him.

"What are we supposed to do?" Aoi asked.

"Um…" said Tachibana. "I know! We have to make him an ice pack!"

"I'll do it!" Aoi said as he got up and ran to the freezer. He pulled out the ice cube tray only to find it empty. "ALL RIGHT. Who's the wise guy who used the ice and didn't refill it?" he demanded angrily.

"Oh sorry, that was me…" David admitted.

"My shoulder…" Tezuka continued to writhe.

"Skip the ice and get some painkillers." Tachibana said.

"All right!" said Aoi as he opened up the medicine cabinet. He couldn't reach the top shelf so he jumped as high as he could and grabbed the closest box. Then he returned to Tachibana and handed him the pills.

"Here you go, Tezuka." Said Tachibana as he handed Tezuka the pills and a glass of water that he went and got while no one was looking.

"Thank you." Said Tezuka as he sat up and civilly took the pills with water.

"Um…can we finish this game?" David asked since he was still sitting at the table with Kabaji.

Team Four  
"No, no, no…" said Ryoma, coming over to Sakurai. "Your form is all wrong. If you stand up that straight there's no way you'll be able to do the twist serve."

"How should I stand then?" Sakurai asked.

"More of a relaxed position, but being tight at the same time." Ryoma answered, demonstrating the pose.

"Wow, Ryoma, it sure is nice for you to come around and teach us how to do the twist serve." Said Saeki as he went through the motion.

"Yeah." Said Ryoma. "I am SO bored that I'm teaching you guys how to do my tennis moves. THAT'S how painful this is for me."

"I'm not going to argue." Said Hiyoshi. "Even though the twist serve isn't really something I'd classify as my style of tennis, I wouldn't mind adding it to my list of things I can do. And, if I master it perfectly, coach'll definitely give me a permanent spot on the Regulars."

Everyone stopped in mid stroke.

"You're not a regular Regular?" Yukimura questioned.

"Well…sort of." Hiyoshi answered. "I'm on the Regulars for the most part, but most of the time I'm just the reserve player so not really."

Everyone took a step away from him.

"What's with the taking the step away from me?" said Hiyoshi with a glare.

"We don't want any of your non-Regularness to rub off on us…" Sakurai said.

"Well, I AM a Regular." Said Hiyoshi.

"Sure, of course you are." Said Yukimura, coming back over to Hiyoshi and putting an arm around his shoulder.

"Don't worry." Said Saeki. "You still have another year."

"You know something?" said Hiyoshi. "These…JOKES you make…" he sniffled. "They can be so hurtful!"

Everyone raised an eyebrow.

"Strong Hiyoshi…strong Hiyoshi…" Hiyoshi said, clenching his fist and looking up to the sky as his voice shook and he trembled, tears forming in his eyes. "BREATHE."

"Whoa." Ryoma whispered to the three other family members that weren't him or Hiyoshi. "I think we hit a nerve or something…"

Just then, the familiar sound of bells and joy was heard coming down the street. Everyone turned around in slow motion and were pleased to see that…

"THE ICE CREAM MAN!" they all shouted as he cruised up to where they were.

"Yes, yes, YES!" said Sakurai as he fished through his pocket and pulled out a dollar. "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles pop, please!"

"Here you go!" said the ice cream man.

"YAY!" said Sakurai as he happily started eating.

"I'll have an ice cream sandwich." Said Yukimura, handing over the dollar.

"Eat up!" said the ice cream man.

"The Smurf one with bubble gum eyeballs!" cheered Saeki, giving the dollar to the ice cream man.

"Right here!" said the ice cream man.

"I'll take the snow cone!" said Ryoma, giving his dollar to the ice cream man.

"Here's yours!" said the ice cream man, and then he looked at Hiyoshi. "And what'll you have?"

"I think I left my dollar inside…" Hiyoshi said, patting his pockets. "Wait here for me! I'll be right back!"

"Okay!" said the ice cream man. As soon as Hiyoshi departed into the house, the ice cream man's eyes narrowed and he put the pedal to the metal disappearing down the street in a matter of seconds.

Hiyoshi came out a second later with his dollar and looked around.

"Where'd the ice cream man go?" he asked.

"He left… and literally burned rubber." Sakurai answered, pointing at the screech marks on the street.

"But…" Hiyoshi's lip started quivering. "But…" Then he clenched his fist dramatically and looked off into the sun again. "Strong Hiyoshi… strong Hiyoshi… BREATHE."


	30. In Which a Gift is Recieved

Team Five  
Sengoku, Oishi, Itsuki and Kamio were all sitting at the kitchen table minding their own business when suddenly the doorbell rang. 

"Don't get it." Said Sengoku. "It's probably Shishido."

"Yeah, he probably just wants us to let him in." Kamio agreed.

"What if it's NOT Shishido?" Oishi said as he stood up and went to the front door.

"If it's Shishido, don't let him in!" Sengoku called.

Oishi opened the door a tiny bit and looked around. He didn't see anyone right away, but when he looked down, he saw a strange sight.

"Um…" Oishi said slowly. "Guys?"

"What?" they all yelled irritably from the other room.

"It's Shishido." Oishi answered.

"Don't let him in!" Sengoku said, getting up and coming over to the door.

"But…" Oishi opened the door and pointed.

Sure enough, it WAS Shishido. Except he was all tied up with duct tape and he appeared unconscious.

"Dear god, what happened!" said Itsuki. "We have to get him inside!"

"WAIT." Said Sengoku, leaping in front of then and spreading his arms out to take up more space. "It's all a ploy! He's just TRICKING us into letting him in!"

"He could be hurt." Oishi said, pushing Sengoku out of the way and bending down over Shishido. "Well, he smells like chloroform."

"It's all a trick!" said Sengoku.

"Oh really?" said Kamio.

"Yes!" said Sengoku. "First he tied himself up and then he chloroformed himself so that we'd bring him inside!"

Everyone stared at him.

"If he tied himself up, which I don't know HOW he could, then how would he chloroform himself afterwards?" Itsuki questioned.

"Fine, then he chloroformed himself first." Sengoku tried.

"Shut up, Sengoku." Said Oishi. "Let's get him inside and untie him."

They all worked together AS A FAMILY to lift Shishido up and take him into the bathroom. They dumped him in the bathtub, untied him and then waited for a few seconds.

"Now what?" Kamio asked.

"Let's turn on the shower." Said Oishi as he reached for the knob.

"Can't we just leave him like this?" whined Sengoku.

"We have to find out what happened." Oishi said as he turned the shower on the coldest setting.

And then the whole family dove out of the room as Shishido awoke, thrashed about and yelled about how he hated everything in the world. Being ever so disoriented, it took him a while to figure out where he was and how to stop the cold water from offending him.

Meanwhile, the rest of the family just stood outside the door chuckling.

"WHAT THE HELL?" he yelled, standing up, getting out of the bathtub and then slipping, falling on his face. "TODAY IS NOT MY DAY!"

"Shishido, are you all right?" said Oishi as everyone came in.

"How did I get here?" Shishido said, looking up at his saviors.

"What happened to you?" asked Itsuki.

Shishido sat up and scratched his head. "Last thing I remember…" he said slowly as he pieced everything back together in his head. "I was at Team Two's house and Momo had everyone tied to chairs and was trying to hypnotize them into believing that doubles wasn't all that great!"

"Please excuse us one second." Said Sengoku as he pushed everyone else out of the bathroom and shut the door. "He's gone totally nuts! He never did that! He's having a mental breakdown!"

"That's true…" said Oishi as he went into the kitchen and got a chair. "We should keep an eye on him until we can contact some professional help!"

Oishi wedged the chair under the doorknob.

Meanwhile, inside the bathroom, Shishido sat up when he heard that noise and knew right away what it was. "HEY!" Shishido ran to the door and started pounding on it. "Let me out of here! I promised I'd save Choutarou!"

"He's hallucinating!" said Kamio to the others.

Team Six  
"So you guys refused to move the furniture back outside and Akutsu started throwing the furniture at you instead?" Kaidou said, staring at everyone in disbelief.

They all nodded and sniffled. They were covered in bruises and cuts and other terrible injuries. But nothing SERIOUS.

"Can't you guys stand up for yourselves?" Kaidou said.

"We TRIED to do that, but he just starts throwing stuff at us." Said Oshitari.

Kaidou stared at him and then grabbed his helmet. "Stop wearing these!" he yelled as he ripped it off his head and threw it across the room. "You're just giving him power!"

Atsushi and Ryou continued to sniffle as they removed their helmets as well while Kaidou paced back and forth.

"What should we do?" said Ryou desperately.

"Yeah, what should we do?" said Atsushi eagerly.

"The only thing we CAN do!" Kaidou said, standing firmly. "We have to…" he turned around and looked at the twins and Oshitari. "…KILL Akutsu!"

The other three blinked.

"Uh…" they said.

"What?" said Kaidou.

"I bet there's another way to do it." Oshitari said.

"I don't hear you making suggestions." Kaidou pointed out.

"I'm just SAYING…" Oshitari began, but then he stopped when he heard footsteps approaching.

"Oh no!" exclaimed Ryou and Atsushi as they quickly put their helmets back on and winced.

"He's got you all living in fear, so we have to kill him!" Kaidou said as if there was no other possible way to solving the problem.

Akutsu rounded the corner, and Oshitari cleverly sidestepped so he was standing behind Kaidou. Kaidou looked briefly at Oshitari and shook his head with disappointment, then he looked back at Akutsu.

"Well, well!" said Akutsu. "It's about time you got back!"

"Yeah." Said Kaidou. "And it's about time you—uh…yeah! You better believe I'm back!"

"So what?" said Akutsu. "You wanna fight?"

Kaidou looked at Atsushi, Ryou and Oshitari who were both frantically shaking their heads.

Then Kaidou looked back at Akutsu.

"Yeah." Said Kaidou. "Maybe I do."

"Kaidou, don't." said Oshitari. "Look at him. He probably weighs thirty pounds more than you, not to mention the fact that he used to take karate and tends to be very violent and short tempered…"

"Oshitari, be quiet." Kaidou ordered. "He made me the Pet. And I just can't forgive that."

"Let's rumble tonight then." Said Akutsu. "At midnight. In the backyard."

"Why not now?" Kaidou demanded.

"Because." Said Akutsu. "It'll be more intense that way, and we'll be waiting for it all day."

"It's a trick!" exclaimed Ryou.

"Fine." Kaidou agreed.

"Fine." Said Akutsu.

Even though their fight wasn't for a while, that didn't mean they couldn't have a glaring contest until it took place.

And that's exactly…what… they did.

Team Seven  
Jirou was sleeping on the couch like he always was, when Inui walked into the living room. He gazed out the window.

"Hm…" he said as he looked up at the clouds and then closed the window. "There is an eighty-seven percent chance of rain tomorrow."

He went over to the television and turned it on. He went to the couch while recording data in his book and booted Jirou off of it, then he sat down. He picked up the remote and changed it to the weather channel and waited patiently.

"There is an eighty-six percent chance of rain tomorrow—" the weather man said.

Inui sat there in silence. "Eighty-seven." He repeated.

"—so you should probably wear a raincoat and bring your umbrella." The weather man went on, when suddenly he touched the plug on his hear. "Oh, excuse me. This just in. There is actually an eighty-SEVEN percent chance of rain."

"Yes." Said Inui as he wrote more in his data book just as Renji entered.

"Inui, I've been pondering something ever since witnessing Jirou's performance in the challenge yesterday." Renji said as Inui turned the television off and gave Renji his undivided attention.

"As have I." Inui agreed. "Surely you came to the same conclusion I did."

"I believe I have." Renji replied as he looked at Jirou and sat in the comfy chair. "Jirou's sleep cycle is irregular, that much is clear. But I do believe that he somehow absorbs all the information he hears throughout the day with some sort of osmosis."

"I agree." Inui said. "It is as if he is some sort of osmosis absorbing…"

Inui paused and looked at Jirou.

"THING." He said finally.

Renji nodded as Sanada walked in.

"I almost wish another challenge would start, I am SO bored." Sanada said as he sat next to Inui on the couch.

"Tomorrow there is an eighty-seven percent chance of rain." Inui reported.

"Oh." said Sanada. "Good to know. You would make an excellent weatherman."

Inui raised one eyebrow and didn't know if that was a compliment or a personal jab, so he chose to ignore it.

Then Tetsu came in.

Everyone stared at him as he stood there looking awkward.

"Hey guys." Said Tetsu, waving foolishly.

They all silently waved back at him.

"Do you want something?" Inui questioned.

"Oh…" Tetsu lowered his head. "I just want to be involved in the conversation, that's all. I'll sit on the floor if there's no other places to sit…"

"We're not really talking about anything interesting." Renji confessed. "Just the weather tomorrow."

"Oh." said Tetsu. "Well, it beats sitting by myself in the other room."

"Do you not like sitting by yourself?" Inui asked, raising his data book.

"Do tell." Said Renji, raising his data book as well.

"I don't have a data book." Said Sanada as if Tetsu had asked him.

"Um…I don't really care…" said Tetsu as he came over and sat on the floor. "Hey! I've got it! Let's watch a movie!"

"I'm going to check the mail." Said Inui, standing up.

"I'll come with you." Renji joined him.

Tetsu looked sad.

"I'll watch a movie." Sanada shrugged.

Now Tetsu was happy as he jumped onto the comfy chair and turned on the television with the remote. They started looking for a good movie but they eventually had to leave the room because Jirou was snoring so loudly and they simply couldn't stand it anymore.

When they left, Jirou opened one eye and looked around.

He realized everyone was gone, and he instantly became as happy as a clam. He jumped up and ran over to the light switch and turned it off.

"DISCO BALL!" he screamed as the disco ball illuminated the room.

Then he realized a second later that screaming that would of course bring attention to him so he turned it off, ran back over to where he had been before and pretended to be sleeping.

Everyone else poked their heads in just as Jirou took his position.

They looked at him suspiciously, and then left.

Jirou WOULD have gotten up and turned the disco ball back on, but he accidentally fell asleep. OH JIROU!

Team Eight  
"I despise not having a television." Jackal said as he turned the lawnmower off and leaned on it.

"I know." Said Bane. "It's forcing us to be outside, get exercise and be active."

They all stood there for a second.

"We miss tennis." They all said at the same time.

Just then, Atobe appeared at the back door. "Good news," he called to them. "We have mail. And lots of it."

Everyone crowded around him and came inside to see what the mail was.

"We each got a package." Atobe said, gesturing to the kitchen table where there were five small, unopened packages.

"Wow, I'm surprised you didn't open them already." Yuuta said.

"I do what I can." Said Atobe. "But I did open the letter than came with it."

Yuuta took it away from him. "_Greetings Team Eight_," he read. "_There is another challenge coming up very soon. Each of you has received a package that contains a pair of shoes that we request you bring with you to the challenge or else you won't be able to participate. Thank you and have a nice day."_

The team slowly looked at the packages.

"Suddenly, I don't want to open them." Shinji said.

"Well, mine was empty whence I opened it." Atobe said, showing off his empty box.

"We can only be so lucky." Said Yuuta as he picked up the one marked 'D' and shook it. Unfortunately, it made a sound.

"I suppose this means I am permitted to wear whatever footwear I desire." Atobe decided as he strutted around like a tool. Cause he is one.

"Let's just do it." Said Jackal as he opened up the B box and moved the tissue paper aside. He pulled out a pair of sneakers. "Hey! Score! I got some sneakers!"

They all watched as he put the sneakers on and then jumped up and down a few times.

"All right!" he cheered. "Just my size! These feel great!"

Everyone stared at him and then opened their appointed boxes as well.

"What is this?" said Shinji, holding up a pair of high-heeled shoes. "WHAT IS THIS. What is this?"

He looked at Yuuta.

"What is this?" he repeated.

"High-heeled shoes." Said Yuuta. "The kind women wear." He pulled out a pair of dressy shiny black men's shoes. "Well, I guess this isn't that bad."

"LOOK AT THIS." Said Shinji, practically shoving the high-heeled shoes in his face. "I am not wearing these AND an apron. I could live with the apron. But I refuse to wear these."

"You have to or you'll be kicked off your tennis team." Said Yuuta.

Shinji gave a heavy sigh, and thought of Tachibana. He didn't want to disappoint Tachibana.

While everyone was distracted with Shinji's controversial angst as he fought internally about wearing the shoes, Bane reached into his box and then pulled out a pair of ballet slippers.

The tumbleweed from Team One decided to visit Team Eight, and subsequently it blew by at this time.

"Always have to top me, don't you?" said Shinji, putting his hands on his hips. "I got the apron, you got the bow. Now I have the high-heeled shoes and you have the ballet slippers."

"I don't want to be the sister anymore…" Bane whined.


	31. In Which There is a New Competition

Day Four  
The Fourth Competition  
"In case you have not yet been able to guess what we're doing," Ryuuzaki began as everyone gathered around the tennis court. "We're going to be having a dance competition!" 

"WHY?" yelled everyone.

"BECAUSE IT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH TENNIS!" yelled all the coaches.

"Whoa, lost the cool." Said Sakaki. "Anyway—"

He was about to explain the rules when he noticed that Sengoku was raising his hand.

"Yes?" Sakaki asked.

"Um…I guess you haven't noticed yet but…" Sengoku began. "Shishido's not here."

"I noticed." Said Choutarou, looking so sad, it was like a superhero sad.

"Why isn't he here?" Ojii asked.

"Because he got really sick." Oishi replied. "And even though he REALLY wanted to come, we recommended that he stay behind so he could heal and get better."

"Well, that was mature of all of you." Said Banji. "What was his role in the family?"

"He's the Pet." Sengoku answered, looking proud.

"That's a good thing then," said Banji. "Because today the Pets get a break."

"REALLY?" cheered the Pets.

"We don't have to do the stupid dancing competition?" Kaidou said.

"You don't." said Banji.

All the Pets cheered and gave each other hugs as everyone else looked at them enviously.

"All right, let's explain the rules." Said Ryuuzaki. "The first part of it will be the Moms and Dads and they will be dancing…TOGETHER."

"TOGETHER?" whined all the Moms and Dads.

"Yes!" said Ryuuzaki. "TOGETHER!"

"Next up will be the Sisters' ballet competition." Ojii continued, and of course all the young tennis players complained and whined about THAT too.

"And finally, the Brothers' break dancing competition." Banji finished up. The Brothers complained, but not as loudly as all the other family members of course. Cause it sucked, but NOT AS MUCH.

"AND," said Sakaki. "In the past, we've only judged which team has come in first for each competition, but this time around, we're going to judge all the way down to eighth place. If you come in first then you have eight points, second you have seven points, third you get six points and so forth all the way to last place getting one point."

"The points all add up collectively for your team." Said Banji. "The more points you have, the better it is. Whoever has the most amount of points at the end of the three dance challenges wins."

"We'll give you a few moments to talk amongst yourselves before we begin the first competition." Said Sakaki.

Team One…  
"Taka, isn't this wonderful?" said Fuji. "We get to dance together."

"…" Taka looked like he was going to pass out if anyone touched him.

"How humiliating!" said Yana. "Ballet! Like I know how to dance ballet!"

"I don't know how to break dance." Kirihara crossed his arms.

Mizuki looked at each of them and then took a step back. "I will be cheering for you from all the way over there." He said.

Team Two…  
All the doubles players were standing as far away from Momo as they could.

"Come on, guys." Said Momo. "It was for the best! It was absolutely necessary!"

They only continued to stay away from him like he was the plague.

"How about a temporary truce for the competition?" Momo suggested. "And after it's over, we can go back to avoiding each other. But let's win this and get the special prize!"

The others looked at each other.

"Fine." Said Eiji.

"But JUST for the competition." Said Marui.

"Then we really have to have a talk." Gakuto said.

"A long talk." Choutarou finished.

"All right, all right…" said Momo with a sigh.

Team Three…  
"Tezuka…?" Tachibana said as he snapped his fingers in Tezuka's face. Tezuka didn't react, he only started to fall forward. Kabaji caught him and held him up steady, but his knees fell out from underneath him and he fell to the ground.

"Um…what just happened?" Aoi asked.

"Do you think it has anything to do with the Nyquil you gave him when you thought it was Dayquil and we all just assumed that it was the same thing?" Tachibana asked Aoi.

"Um…maybe…?" Aoi said nervously.

"Guys!" said David. "This is a blessing!"

"What are you talking about?" Tachibana demanded. "Tezuka just did a face plant in the ground because we accidentally drugged him. At this rate, we won't win the competition--"

Tachibana stopped and smiled.

"Aha…" he said. "And it'll be all Tezuka's fault. Therefore…"

"HE WON'T WIN THE INDIVIDUAL COMPETITION!" they all cheered as they grabbed each other's hands and jumped up and down.

Team Four…  
"This is going to be the worst competition ever." Said Ryoma. "Does anyone here know how to do their dances besides you?" He pointed at Hiyoshi.

"What?" said Hiyoshi. "Why are you pointing at me?"

"Aren't you a ballerina?" Ryoma asked.

"NO." said Hiyoshi. "What makes you think something like that?"

"Maybe because of the way you play tennis." Ryoma answered. "You spin around and dance around like a ballerina."

Hiyoshi stared at Ryoma with his mouth hanging open. Then he turned his back to him and clenched his fist, looking up into the sun. "Strong Hiyoshi… strong Hiyoshi… BREATHE."

Team Five…  
"Do you think our coaches were suspicious?" Kamio whispered to the other three on the team.

"About Shishido not being here?" said Sengoku. "NAW!"

"I think we should focus on the task at hand!" said Oishi. "Do you know how to break dance, Kamio?"

"Er…no…" said Kamio. "But if it involves getting in the rhythm then I'm sure I'll get the hang of it in no time!"

"We can only hope." Said Itsuki. "Because I know we've already lost the Sister competition."

"Don't say that!" said Oishi. "I'm sure we'll all do great!"

"Yeah…not so much." Sengoku admitted.

Team Six…  
Akutsu and Kaidou were standing there glaring at each other with lightning bolts flying back and forth.

"This is too much." Said Oshitari.

"I know." Said Ryou. "Are they really going to fight tonight?"

"I believe so." Oshitari replied.

"That's going to be a disaster." Said Atsushi. "I can feel it."

"We have to figure out a way to avoid any further confrontation on our team." Oshitari rubbed his chin. "I'm sure no other teams are experiencing these sorts of hardships."

Team Seven...  
"Well, thanks to Jirou's totally random family assignments, we are up the river without a paddle." Said Renji.

"Guys, it'll all work out." Said Jirou.

"Jirou…no." said Inui.

"You're just mad because you have to do ballet." Said Jirou, crossing his arms and refusing to listen.

"Yes." Said Inui. "Exactly right. Why else would I be angry?"

"Not only will this be completely awkward to have to dance with you…" Sanada began. "But you are WAY too short."

"Maybe you're just way too tall." Jirou suggested.

"Guys, we'll definitely win!" said Tetsu.

They all stared at him.

"I'm just trying to be positive…" Tetsu said introvertedly.

Team Eight…  
"Finally, a challenge in which I can do nothing and not get penalized or criticized for it." Atobe said, looking smug as usual.

"We'll be fine without you!" said Yuuta. "As a matter of fact, with you standing on the sidelines, we'll finally be able to win a challenge for once!"

"Are you sure about that?" Atobe asked.

"I'm positive!" said Yuuta. "Right guys?"

"Um…yeah!" said the others but they didn't look as convinced as Yuuta would have wanted them to look, especially with Atobe standing there looking ever so smug.

"ALL RIGHT!" said Ryuuzaki. "You're all ready now, I assume?"

"Meh…" whined everyone.

"Then let's get started." Said Sakaki. "Everyone, get your new shoes on and all the Moms and Dads meet out here in the middle of the tennis court!"


	32. In Which Moms and Dads Compete

Moms and Dads  
The said players gathered in the middle of the tennis courts and Ryuuzaki took out a radio. 

"These are the rules," she began. "If you stop dancing, you're out. If I decide that you are not dancing convincingly enough then you're out. If you try to sabotage another team then you're out as well. This will be judged entirely by me, and I will be the only one judging so do not shout to me if you see something wrong. Any questions?"

"Yeah, I have one." Said Ryoma, raising his hand. "Is there any advantage to winning?"

"I second that." Said Sanada. "I mean, the so called special prizes that we've all been looking forward to every time have always been something lame." He thought of the disco ball. Damn that disco ball.

"Oh yes!" said Ryuuzaki with a chuckle. "I simply cannot believe that I would forget to leave out a piece of information like that!"

Everyone waited.

"For every five points you receive, you get one piece of furniture OF YOUR CHOICE back." Ryuuzaki explained as she pointed over at a huge pile of furniture on the other side of the courts that everyone failed to notice beforehand.

"GASP." Said everyone who was missing furniture that they longed for.

"But what about families that didn't lose any furniture?" Momo asked.

"Then you get to take someone ELSE'S furniture!" said Ryuuzaki.

"We could get the bunk beds back!" said Taka to Fuji.

"Yes, and then you and I could have the big bed all to ourselves." Fuji said to Taka.

"Another couch wouldn't be so bad!" said Momo to Choutarou.

"I could go for that…" agreed Choutarou to Momo.

Kabaji looked at Tezuka who was propped up next to him. Then he raised his head so it at least looked as though he was paying attention.

"There's a possibility to get a total of twenty-four points in this competition…" Ryoma said to Sakurai.

"So we can get at least four of our pieces of furniture back as long as we win everything!" Sakurai said to Ryoma.

"All we have to do is get five points and we can get our television back." Said Oishi to Sengoku.

"Or we could win everything and then take everyone else's televisions just for fun!" said Sengoku to Oishi.

"Um…" said Oshitari, awkwardly standing next to Akutsu.

Akutsu was glaring at Kaidou.

"Maybe we can get someone ELSE'S disco ball too!" said Jirou to Sanada.

"Our team is the only team with a disco ball." Sanada said to Jirou.

"Let's get two couches." Said Yuuta to Shinji.

"No more fighting over the couch!" said Shinji as he slapped Yuuta five.

"All right!" said Ryuuzaki. "You all seem a bit more pumped up to dance now! So grab your partner and I'll start out with a CD I bought especially for this occasion! _The Most Romantic Love Songs In the World…Ever_."

Ryuuzaki put the CD into the radio and allowed the music to blast. Of course, the first song on the CD was "I Can't Help Falling in Love" by Elvis, so it's not like it was BLASTING.

We are, by the way, suspending belief for a little while here. Obviously these characters are Japanese and OBVIOUSLY Elvis's timeless "I Can't Help Falling In Love", despite it's beauty and sexiness, would not be their first pick for a romantic song. But if you've come this far then I suppose you can at least accept this as well.

"What are you all waiting for?" demanded Ryuuzaki. "GO!"

"We had no idea that we would be SLOW dancing." Said Oshitari.

"Are any teams going to back out before the challenge even STARTS?" said Ryuuzaki.

All the teams looked at each other. None of them wanted to be the first that was eliminated, so painfully and ever so slowly, they all reached for the others' hands and began swaying.

After like twenty seconds of watching this, Ryuuzaki got bored so she changed the track to a more upbeat song…"The Time of My Life" by what's his face and what's her face!

"Grab your partner, throw him around and make it a good show!" said Ryuuzaki. "Or I WILL eliminate people!"

"Aren't you going to eliminate people anyway?" Shinji questioned.

"That's it!" said Ryuuzaki. "Team Eight is eliminated!"

"WHAT?" yelled Team Eight.

Eventually they trudged off the courts however, where they were greeted by Bane, Jackal and Atobe.

"Nice job." Said Atobe. "But not really."

"She just doesn't want us to win because we don't have any Seigaku members on our team…" Yuuta decided.

"Well, since we were eliminated first, we get one points for this round." Shinji reasoned. "So…we still have a shot at getting our three pieces of furniture back as long as we don't screw up too much in any of the other challenges."

They looked back at the dancing competition, and suddenly felt OKAY that they weren't involved in it anymore.

Ryuuzaki weaved in and out of the groups, trying to find one that didn't look like their hearts were into it.

She finally settled at Akutsu and Oshitari who were still really only just holding hands and swaying like fools.

"In case you two haven't noticed, the pace of the music has picked up a touch." Ryuuzaki commented looking smug for no reason.

"Um…" they both said slowly.

"OUT!" Ryuuzaki screamed, pointing at where all the people were still watching.

They bowed their heads in shame and went over to their team.

"Well, that could have gone better…" said Oshitari as he kicked off his high heels. "I can't believe I actually wore those."

"You seemed like a natural in them." Ryou commented.

"What's that supposed to mean?" demanded Oshitari with a glare.

"Well, you walked around in them like you wear them all the time." Ryou said defensively.

"I DON'T." said Oshitari adamantly.

"OUT!" Ryuuzaki screamed again.

They all looked up to see Jirou and Sanada looking depressed and dejected as they made their way over to Team Seven.

"I KNEW trying to throw you up into the air and catch you was a bad idea." Sanada sighed in Jirou's direction as he sat down.

"Yeah, but if it had worked, I'm sure we would have gotten first place for sure!" said Jirou, looking pumped. "You wanna practice?"

"Why?" said Sanada. "We're NEVER going to dance with each other again. Ever."

"Jirou, did you notice that your face is bleeding?" Tetsu asked, pointing to Jirou's face, which was, in fact, bleeding.

"Huh?" said Jirou, touching the spot. "I am! Why?"

"I think it probably has something to do with when I threw you up into the air and then you fell on your face." Sanada tried.

"There is a one hundred percent chance that that assumption is correct." Inui said.

"I don't even remember getting hurt." Frowned Jirou.

"Here," said Renji. "Have a Thomas the Tank Engine band-aid."

"Yay!" said Jirou as he took the aforementioned item.

Meanwhile, with the dancing peeps, the song had since changed. Ryuuzaki had actually changed the CD all together because most of them were slow and she found that to be boring. The next song that started was Zoot Suit Riot. OMG.

"By the way, Choutarou," said Momo as the two of them did crazy swing dancing like it was their JOB.

"Yeah?" said Choutarou, who happened to be super ESPECIALLY tall today because he was wearing high heels, and we all know how much he really doesn't need them.

"I don't think I ever really apologized for sneaking up on you and using chloroform on you and then tying you to a chair…" Momo said, looking ashamed.

"No…you didn't…" Choutarou nodded.

"Well…sorry." Momo said genuinely.

"I appreciate that." Choutarou smiled.

"Less talking!" Ryuuzaki screamed. "More crazy dancing!"

"SORRY!" said Momo and Choutarou as they immediately went back to dancing crazily.

Ryuuzaki chuckled warmly to herself as she moved to the next group, which just so happened to be Ryoma and Sakurai. And, it ALSO just so happened that at that exact moment, Sakurai tripped over his high-heeled shoes (having never worn them before after all) and fell right on top of Ryoma. The two of them tumbled to the ground before landing in a heap.

"Oh man…" said Sakurai, sitting up.

"Well, well." Said Ryuuzaki, crossing her arms. "You two have stopped dancing."

"Only for a second!" Ryoma argued.

"You're OUT!" Ryuuzaki WOULD NOT listen to reason and ordered them both to depart.

Oishi and Sengoku stepped over the arguing trio. "This judging is really harsh…" Oishi said as he and Sengoku danced like they had been dancing together since they were born. You see, for Oishi it was EASY because he plays DOUBLES, which means he would be AWESOME at dancing with other people.

Yeah. Cause that's the way the world works.

And he's really good at bowling, apparently.

"I wish you were a real girl." Said Sengoku, looking less than excited.

There's really no way to react to that sort of comment so Oishi just didn't. That's when he accidentally bumped into another pair.

"Excuse me, watch where you're going." Fuji said in almost a threatening tone as he turned into Scary Fuji.

"Sorry…" said Oishi as he watched Fuji and Taka waltz by.

Ryuuzaki, meanwhile, had made her way over to Kabaji who was dancing with Tezuka as if he wasn't a lump. Actually, it was quite intense in which Kabaji was throwing Tezuka around and catching him and acting SO very professional.

"Very good job, Team Three." Commented Ryuuzaki with an impressed nod.

"Yes." Said Kabaji.

Luckily Ryuuzaki turned her back just as Kabaji dropped Tezuka, but quickly picked him back up as Ryuuzaki spun around to see what the loud THUMP noise had been.

Then, having observed the remaining four teams, Ryuuzaki turned off the music and requested attention from everyone.

"The last four teams have all done very well!" Ryuuzaki announced. "But now we're going to make things a little more dramatic."

"…" said the remaining four teams, which included Teams One, Two, Three and Five.

She then gestured for her male counterparts to come over and aid her.

They were carrying seven chairs and arranged them in such a way so that six were back to back and one was at the end.

Now everyone was curious and maybe even slightly excited to know what was going to happen.

"MUSICAL CHAIRS!" Ryuuzaki shouted as she started playing Bye Bye Bye by N'Sync.

The remaining eight people looked at each other with skeptical expressions and didn't circle the chairs a single time before Ryuuzaki pressed the pause button.

"Well what are you all waiting for?" she asked. "You don't want to lose, do you?"

There was another slight pause, and then there was a mad rush for a chair. Kabaji pushed everyone out of the way and claimed a chair for himself, and even managed to sit Tezuka down in a chair as well. Fuji went at a slower pace for a chair, and everyone mutually decided not to try and oppose him. Momo and Taka engaged in mortal combat over one of the chairs, and while they were doing that, Sengoku dove in and took it instead. Oishi grabbed a chair, and Choutarou was thankful to have one of his own as well.

Taka and Momo looked up and realized that there was two of them and only one chair.

"Taka!" said Fuji as he pulled a racket magically out from behind his back and tossed it to Taka.

Taka caught it.

"BURRRRRRRRRRNNNNNNNNING!" he shouted from the very base of his diaphragm.

Momo dove for cover as Taka plowed through any small animal that may have been innocently hopping by at the moment.

"Momo is eliminated!" Ryuuzaki said. "So if Choutarou gets eliminated then Team Two is out!"

"So much pressure!" Choutarou said helplessly.

"We're as good as eliminated." Momo frowned as he went back to his team who were less than thrilled to accept him.

"Let's start up again!" said Ryuuzaki, removing a chair as the music began again.

This time everyone was already circling the chairs when Ryuuzaki stopped the music. Everyone jumped for a chair, but Tezuka sort of slid out of his chair, so Oishi seized the opportunity to get himself in the now unoccupied one.

"Tezuka is eliminated!" said Ryuuzaki.

"OH WOE IS US!" cried Aoi. "Tezuka has RUINED our chances of winning! There's no WAY he is doing the best out of all of us! That much is clear!"

Aoi looked at Tachibana for approval, but Tachibana just slapped his forehead.

"Let's go again!" said Ryuuzaki, taking away ANOTHER chair, so now there were only five.

Six people circled round and round until the music stopped once again. Unfortunately, once everyone was in their chairs, the only two that remained were Oishi and Sengoku.

"Well…this is stupid." Sengoku said as he and Oishi stared at the remaining chair.

"Let's see…" said Oishi. "Which one, out of the both of us, has the best chance at winning?"

"Probably me." Said Sengoku.

"What?" said Oishi, putting his hands on his hips. "Probably ME, I think."

"Oh really?" said Sengoku.

"Yeah really." Said Oishi.

"Okay, you two are out of time so you're BOTH eliminated!" said Ryuuzaki as she ran over and pushed them out of the way.

"HEY!" they both wailed.

She removed two chairs this time around. So now only three chairs remained with four people.

"There are two members from Team One, Taka and Fuji," Ryuuzaki narrated. "One from Team Two, Ootori, and one from Team Three, Kabaji. Who will win it for their team?"

"Frankly, I wouldn't want to be Fuji around all those really tall people in a game where everyone's pushing each other out of the way." Momo said to Eiji.

Eiji looked at Momo questioningly. "Momo." He said. "This is Fuji we're talking about here."

"Oh yeah." Said Momo with a nod. "Then let me rephrase that. I wouldn't want to be anyone who has to be near Fuji for longer than they have to."

"I agree." Said Eiji.

Ryuuzaki stopped the music exactly then and everyone made their jumps for the chairs. There was a cloud of dust and flying paper, and when the dust cleared, everyone was surprised to see Kabaji standing in the front looking so sad that one might think he was about to cry.

"Wow." Said everyone, wondering how the others had managed to outmuscle Kabaji.

"Well!" said Ryuuzaki. "That means that Team Three is eliminated as well! Leaving only Team One and Two remaining. Ootori's at a bit of a disadvantage, but if he manages to get a chair in this round then it'll even everything up!"

"I'm SO nervous!" said Choutarou, rocking back and forth in the chair.

"Let's start!" said Ryuuzaki as she pressed the button for the music.

Everyone got up and started circling the two chairs that were back to back. It was very nerve racking as everyone was leaning in eagerly waiting for when Ryuuzaki would press the PAUSE button.

She finally did, and Fuji calmly sat down in one of the seats that just so happen to face out to the audience. And he just sat there being creepy while staring at everyone as Taka and Choutarou struggled to get into the chair. But you can imagine the struggle since they're such nice guys.

Both pulled away and stood up.

"You take it." Taka said.

"No, you take it." Choutarou insisted.

"TAKE IT!" screamed Team One and Team Two.

Choutarou must have been paying better attention to his team supporting him or SOMETHING because he sat down first.

"Taka!" said Ryuuzaki, pointing. "Eliminated!"

"Aw man, I gave it my all!" Taka said.

Fuji and Choutarou both stood.

"This is the final match!" said Ryuuzaki. "Whoever wins this one wins the Mom and Dads competition!"

"Hang on one second!" said Eiji dramatically as he ran out to Choutarou. "Don't worry about it, Ootori! You're going to do great! Just keep your mind in the game and play hard to the very end, and we're proud of you no matter how good or bad you do! You've already done this great to get this far against all those upper classman! And just remember to believe in yourself and trust your instincts!"

Choutarou blinked a few times. "That was so inspirational." He said finally.

"They're all Oishi's words!" said Eiji as he looked over at Oishi and gave him the thumbs up.

"Thank you, Eiji!" Oishi called, giving the thumbs up right back.

"So you can do it!" said Eiji as he ran back to his team.

"I…CAN do it!" said Choutarou as he stood up and a wave crashed behind him.

Fuji only stood there looking creepy while staring at Choutarou.

"Er…so anyway…" said Ryuuzaki. "Are you both ready?"

"Ready!" said Choutarou, looking determined.

"I suppose." Said Fuji vaguely.

"Go!" Ryuuzaki pressed the button, and the two started circling the single chair that remained.

It was the most intense twenty seconds of anyone's life. But, when the music stopped, Fuji was in the perfect place to just seat his bottom down. And, as he was doing such, Choutarou saw what was about to happen, so he grabbed the chair and pulled it right out from underneath Fuji.

While Fuji's ass landed on the ground in a disoriented fashion, Choutarou put the chair down and sat down in it, looking confident and crossing his legs with this face that said, "Oh yes. I DID just win."

First there was silence as Fuji only sat there looking slightly surprised, but not as much as he SHOULD have been, and Choutarou sat there looking as though he could conquer the world if someone told him it was okay with everyone else to do it.

Even Ryuuzaki seemed a little surprised.

"Winner!" she shouted once she was over her shock. "Ootori! Team Two wins the Moms and Dads competition and the eight points!"

"YAY!" cheered Team Two as they leapt up into the air.

"Aww…" said Team One sadly since they had been pretty sure that they would win with no problem.

Choutarou stood and held out a hand for Fuji.

Fuji took it and Choutarou pulled him to his feet.

"Nice game!" said Choutarou.

Fuji kept his mouth closed and was being all pleasant like. "Mm." He said, not letting go of Choutarou's hand.

Choutarou looked down at their hands that remained clasped.

"Uh…" he said finally.

Fuji finally let go and then turned his back to Choutarou. As he walked away and Choutarou's team came over to celebrate, he uttered just BARELY loud enough for Choutarou to hear, "Watch out."

Choutarou suddenly didn't feel as excited about his win anymore, even as his team attempted to hoist him up over their heads but they just decided to hug him instead.

"The next competition will be the SISTERS competition!" said Banji. "And I will be judging that one because I drew the short straw! All the Sisters please report to the center of the courts!"

The Sisters grumbled, but they did as they were told.


	33. In Which Sisters Compete

The Sisters  
"Before we start, is there anyone here who refuses to wear his ballet slippers?" Banji asked. 

"Mine don't fit." Bane raised his hand.

"Oh." said Banji, walking over and taking the slippers from him. "Oh well… you see, we couldn't find ballet slippers in size gigantic."

Bane raised his eyebrow.

"You see," said Banji. "Because… you're gigantic."

"Uh huh…" said Bane.

"He can wear mine." Said Inui, holding his pair up.

"No, Inui, Ryuuzaki brought those from home just for you." Said Banji.

Inui stood there looking very apathetic. Then he dropped the slippers on the courts. "I am going to forfeit this match."

"How can you forfeit before the match has even begun?" said Banji, looking only SLIGHTLY surprised.

"Easily." Said Inui. "Besides, I'm not concerned. We have all our furniture and the special prizes aren't that special."

"Maybe I should back out just to save face then…" Bane thought.

"NO!" yelled Team Eight. "BECAUSE WE'RE MISSING FURNITURE AND WE WANT THE SPECIAL PRIZE!"

"But these ballet slippers don't even fit me!" whined Bane.

"TOO BAD!" they yelled. "PUSH THROUGH THE PAIN! WE CAME IN LAST PLACE IN THE PREVIOUS CHALLENGE AND WE HAVE TO MAKE UP THOSE POINTS!"

Bane stared at them. "How are you all saying that all at once?" he asked.

"WE'RE FINALLY CONNECTING AS A TEAM!" they yelled.

"Fine…" Bane sighed. After all, if they were finally connecting as a team, what right did he have to ruin their chances of getting their furniture back?

"So…are you staying in the competition?" Banji asked.

"I guess…" Bane said.

"But Team Seven has forfeited!" Banji went on, pointing at Inui. "Is anyone else going to make this decision and forfeit as well?"

"NO WAY!" yelled all the Sisters.

"Good!" said Banji. "Then let's let the recital begin!"

That's when EVERYONE raised their hands.

"I bet you're all thinking…" Banji went on. "How can this CRAZY man expect us to have a ballet recital when we have neither the talent nor the skill or the routine to even do a simple step?"

They lowered their hands.

"We all know that ballet is not something that you can just MAKE UP on the spot!" Banji went on. "Therefore, instead of having an actual recital, we are going to do things a little differently."

The rest of the coaches with tiny little podiums and placed them all evenly apart.

"We are going to test your balance and grace and endurance." Said Banji. "But not really grace. More so just balance and endurance."

"Oh so I get it!" said Gakuto. "We're all going to stand up on one of those podiums and whoever lasts the longest wins?"

"Way to steal my fire!" yelled Banji. "But yet. That's essentially what we're going to be doing. Buuuuuttttt…"

Everyone looked afraid.

"You must do it… ON ONE FOOT!" said Banji.

"DEAR LORD SWEET MERCIFUL HEAVENS!" yelled all the Sisters.

"So everyone take a podium now or forfeit, whichever you choose." Said Banji, crossing his arms.

The Sisters looked at each other and then each got on a podium.

"If you fall off, give up or switch your foot then you lose." Banji warned. "Now the competition officially starts… NOW!"

With that, each of the Sisters lifted up one of their feet and began to balance like there was no tomorrow.

"_It's important for me to win so Fuji doesn't kill me…"_ Yana was thinking as he looked over at his team that was standing as far away from Fuji as possible. And, of course, Fuji was plotting many deaths.

"_I have to keep up our winning streak so we can mean spiritedly take other people's furniture!" _thought Gakuto with a devious grin, glancing over at the pile of furniture.

"_Oh geez…" _thought Aoi as he sniffed the air. "_I hope no one knows that the one who smells so bad is me… I should tell them that I ran out of Arrid…"_

"_Stupid Ryoma first year saying that my martial arts style of tennis looks like ballet twirls." _Hiyoshi said with a scowl on his face. "_I'll show him. Maybe I should throw the competition. But then again, it's not like it has anything to do with tennis, and we really need our furniture…"_

"_Why is it so hot out today?" _Itsuki thought. "_I can't wait to get back into the air conditioned house."_

"_There's no one especially fantastic competing this challenge." _Ryou observed, looking down the line at the people he was up against. "_Maybe I really can win and make up for our team's previous failure and hopefully get the kitchen table back."_

"_Gigantic? Who does he think he is? ASS." _Bane thought, glaring at Banji.

"Are we going to have to sit here and watch this entire time?" Jackal asked anyone who would listen to him.

"Yes." Snapped the coaches.

A little bit of time passed in which everyone was kind of just standing idly by.

"ALL RIGHT!" said Banji. "It's time for TEMPTATION!"

"Temptation?" said all the Sisters.

"Yes." Said Banji. "This offer is open to one person. If you jump off now, then I will automatically give you three points in addition to the two points you would earn from coming in seventh."

"Five points?" Hiyoshi clarified.

"That would be like coming in fourth." Banji said.

They all looked at each other.

"The longer this drags out, the better I'm going to do!" Aoi announced. "I will not forfeit for a measly five points when I am going all the way to eight!"

Itsuki did the math up in his head. His team already had five points which meant they were already guaranteed to get their television back anyway, so if he took the five more free points that was being offered to him then they could automatically get another piece of furniture. THAT WASN'T THEIRS.

He considered the consequences, but then he firmly decided to step down.

"Itsuki has stepped down for the five points!" Banji announced.

"Well…I probably would have taken it too." Said Kamio to Oishi and Sengoku.

"Not me." Said Sengoku.

"Never." Said Oishi, putting his hand over his heart.

"Six teams have elected not to take the temptation!" Banji announced. "Which is good because I only offered it to one person."

"Stop talking!" ordered Gakuto. "It's annoying me!"

"Then I suppose you're not interested in my NEXT temptation." Banji said slyly.

"We're all ears!" Gakuto revised his statement quite quickly and not to mention eagerly.

"For the person who steps down now," Banji said. "Not only will his team receive three points for coming in sixth, but that person will also automatically get another piece of furniture, no matter how many points he ends up with at the end!"

"So…" said Ryou. "If my team got thirteen points at the very end of all the challenges, we'd get three pieces of furniture even though we only qualified for two?"

"Exactly right!" said Banji. "I couldn't have said it better myself!"

"TAKE IT!" Saeki yelled to Hiyoshi.

"…Take it?" Hiyoshi said, looking ultimately baffled.

"Yes!" said Sakurai. "We need furniture!"

"But if I come in first then it'll be eight points added to our four, and then we'd only have to get three in the final challenge and we'd have three pieces." Hiyoshi said.

"Don't care!" said Ryoma. "What are the chances of YOU coming in first?"

Hiyoshi's eyes narrowed.

"I'll show you…" he said under his breath.

"Oh good, I thought he was going to do that 'Strong Hiyoshi strong Hiyoshi' thing again." Said Saeki quietly to his teammates as they turned their backs to Hiyoshi.

"How'd you know he'd respond to that, Yukimura?" Sakurai asked.

"I know he wants to do his best and—" Yukimura started but then he hacked up blood and passed out.

"YUKIMURA!" Sanada yelled as he ran over to Yukimura so intensely that Saeki, Ryoma and Sakurai went flying off into the sunset.

"It seems as though Bane has accepted the bribe!" Banji announced as Bane stepped down.

"WHAT?" yelled Team Eight.

"How could you?" demanded Yuuta.

"Well, now we have four points and a definite piece of furniture." Said Bane. "And you know we're guaranteed at least one more point even if we come in last. So… we know we get two pieces. So let's just get the couch and television back since we never really sit around the kitchen table anyway."

"But we wanted TWO couches!" whined Shinji.

"Then…if we come in at least third, we can get two couches AND the television." Bane suggested.

"Or we could NOT get the television and get two couches instead." Said Jackal.

"Or…" said Atobe. "What if we stole someone else's bunk beds?"

The team was silent.

"Dear god, Atobe." Said Yuuta. "Where did THAT come from?"

"Believe it or not, I'm tired of hearing you two complain about the sleeping arrangement." Atobe said.

"Brilliant!" said Shinji. "Now we can use our free piece of furniture card for a bunk bed set, and then use our guaranteed five points to get the television!"

"You guys really HAVE connected!" said Bane.

"Five teams left…" said Banji.

"Hey," said Hiyoshi to the others. "Could everyone who doesn't need more furniture just step down?"

"Why should we?" demanded everyone who didn't require furniture.

"Because." Said Hiyoshi. "It would be the NICE thing to do. My team needs as many points as we can get because we have practically no furniture in our house."

"Well that's your fault for being too lazy to complete the tasks." Gakuto said. "I could stay up here all day!"

"The last temptation!" Banji declared. "Last one! Whoever steps down right now will receive, in addition to four points for coming in fifth, an additional two points!"

"Like coming in third…" Ryou reasoned.

Once again he looked down the line and realized that everyone standing there sort of looked like they could stand there all day. Except for Yana who was teetering. But still, this was the last temptation, so he might end up coming in fourth, or fifth even. That means he might walk away with only four or five points, when he COULD have walked away with five!

"I'LL step down!" said Ryou as he did just that.

"ATSUSHI!" Akutsu yelled, shaking his fist.

"I'm RYOU!" said Ryou. Then he paused. "Wait no, I'm Atsushi! Haha…"

"No he's not, he's Ryou!" said Atsushi immediately.

"They don't even look the same." Said Oshitari. "Why does EVERYONE have this problem?"

"Because they're twins." Said Kaidou. "Can't you tell?"

"Of course I can tell, but they've done a good job making themselves look like NOT twins." Oshitari sighed. Kaidou and Akutsu only stared at him blankly, and then made eye contact with EACH OTHER and commenced in glaring from there.

"So…" observed Bane. "We have only four teams, and it just so happens that they are Teams One through Four. Could it possibly end up being a showdown between Teams One and Two again?"

"Whoa, whoa…!" said Yana as he started tipping off to one side towards Gakuto.

"Tip the other way!" Gakuto said frantically.

"I CAN'T STAY UP!" Yana yelled as he toppled over right into Gakuto and knocked him over.

"NOOOOOOOOOOO!" yelled Teams One and Two.

"OH NO!" exclaimed Banji as he ran over. "How terrible, yet at the same time, how ironic!"

"Idiot!" said Gakuto angrily to Yana.

"Sorry…" said Yana, bowing his head in shame.

"I didn't see!" Banji asked. "Who fell first?"

"Well, technically Yana fell over first, but Gakuto hit the ground first." Aoi said.

"Hm…" said Banji. "I must consult!"

Banji then ran over to consult with the other coaches.

"I had that win in the bag!" Gakuto complained to his team.

"It's all right, Gakuto." Said Marui.

"We still love you!" said Eiji as he ran over and hugged Gakuto.

"ATTENTION!" yelled Banji. "The coaches and I have made an executive decision! Since Gakuto hit the ground first, he was officially eliminated BEFORE Yana, so he will take fourth place and Yana will take third!"

"WHAT?" demanded Team Two.

"OH SNAP!" said Team One.

"This stinks because that means Ryou got more points than me even though I stayed on longer!" Gakuto whined some more.

"Like we said, it's okay as long as you tried your best." Choutarou assured him.

"Two teams remain!" said Banji. "Team Three's Aoi and Team Four's Hiyoshi!"

"Maybe he really will win." Said Saeki since he and his two partners in crime had since returned from being shot into orbit.

"Look," said Hiyoshi. "Your team is not missing ANY furniture. My team is missing ALL our furniture. Just step down."

"Make me!" Aoi said.

Hiyoshi frowned and then looked at Banji. "It is against the rules to sabotage anyone?" he asked.

"Hm…well, I never really said it was so…" Banji rubbed his chin. "Sure! Why not? Go ahead! Anyone in mind?"

"Yeah…" Hiyoshi looked at Aoi.

"Not if I sabotage you first!" said Aoi as he swung wildly at Hiyoshi, but missed him and lost his balance. He flung around like a crazy person trying to stay on top of his podium, but Hiyoshi just gave him a light tap and he fell off his podium a moment later.

"WINNER!" Banji announced, doing JAZZ HANDS for Hiyoshi.

"YAY!" cheered Team Four.

"We knew you had it in you!" said Sakurai.

"No you didn't." said Hiyoshi.

"No, that was only a trick to make you feel like you HAD to prove to us that you could win!" said Saeki.

"Even right down to me being an extra huge tool to convince you." Ryoma explained.

"So you guys…tricked me…?" Hiyoshi stared at his teammates and then whipped around dramatically. "Strong Hiyoshi…strong Hiyoshi!"

His team slapped their foreheads.


	34. In Which Brothers Compete

Brothers  
"Tallying up the points here, we have found that certain teams have pulled ahead of the pack, and certain teams are doing a horrible job." Sakaki said as he stood there with his clipboard. "Teams One, Two and Three are all tied for first with thirteen points, which also means they each get at least two pieces of furniture."

"WOOT!" said those three teams.

"Team Four has twelve points, which automatically gives them two pieces of furniture as well," Sakaki went on. "And Team Five has ten, which ALSO means that they get two pieces of furniture."

"Let's get two televisions, guys." Said Sengoku, rubbing his hands together diabolically.

"Team Six has only eight points, so they have a confirmed ONE piece of furniture coming their way." Sakaki went on. "Team Seven and Team Eight both of only four points, which means they have NO confirmed furniture, except Team Eight received a free piece of furniture from Banji's temptation."

"We are the only team that doesn't have a piece of furniture coming our way." Said Renji to his team.

"Woe is us." Said Inui.

"Good thing we have all our furniture already." Tetsu shrugged.

"But I wanted another disco ball…" Jirou complained.

"I already told you we're the only team that has a disco ball!" said Sanada, sounding a little annoyed.

"Well, with that all said, I will now explain the competition to the Brothers." Sakaki said, gesturing for them all to come out to the courts. "Like we stated before, this will be a break dancing competition."

"What if you can't break dance?" Marui asked.

"Well, half of this competition will be judged based on ATTITUDE." Said Sakaki. "If you ain't got the 'tude then you…um… won't win."

"Don't ever say that again." Everyone warned him.

"The contest is also based on how well you 'serve' all the other people you're competing against." Sakaki said, doing the little quoties. "One person will start the dance and then someone else must enter and try to 'serve' him. If you get 'served' it is bad. If you fail to 'serve' the person you challenged, that is also bad. The winner is decided based on how many people you successfully 'serve'. Do you all understand?"

"Yes, just don't use that word ever again." Jackal said.

"What word?" Sakaki asked.

"Serve." Said everyone. "Unless in the context of tennis."

"WE SAID NO TENNIS!" yelled all the coaches.

"All right, let's get started…" Sakaki said as he counted everyone up. "Where's Yukimura?"

"You didn't see the ambulance come and take him away like ten minutes ago?" Marui asked.

"Oh." said Sakaki. "No. I completely missed that. All right, so I suppose Team Four forfeits."

"WHAT?" yelled Hiyoshi. "AFTER I WORKED SO HARD!"

"Wait, wait." Said Saeki, stepping forward. "Since Yukimura can't compete due to medical problems, can I compete in his place? I'm the Pet, so it's not like I have a job right now."

"Hm… oh all right!" said Sakaki. "Why not?"

Saeki joined the Brothers and assured them he had heard all the rules, so all the Brothers formed a big circle.

"Who will start?" said Sakaki as he pressed the button on the radio so it tuned into a hip rap song that everyone was into.

Everyone looked at each other awkwardly until everyone finally bullied Atsushi into the middle. He stood there like a moron magnet for a little while just bobbing his head to be beat and waiting hopefully for someone to come in and challenge him to a dance off.

"Well _I _got the 'tude!" said Saeki.

"Don't say that." Said everyone as Saeki walked into the middle of the circle.

"Yo momma's so fat that she got locked in a grocery store and starved to death!" said Saeki.

Atsushi stared at him.

Saeki realized he had probably said it wrong. But he wasn't about to show it. "Yeah, can't think of a comeback, I see!"

"Well yo momma's so stupid that she got run over by a parked car!" said Atsushi.

"SEEEEEEEERVED!" said all the other Brothers as Atsushi stepped back and received some skin from Kamio and Tetsu who were on either side of him.

"Yo momma's so fat that NASA had to send a satellite to orbit her!" said Kirihara as he entered the circle with Saeki.

"Well yo momma's so poor that she uses Cheerios as earrings!" said Saeki.

"SEEEEEEERVED!" cheered the Brothers as Saeki backed out of the circle.

"All right, all right!" said Sakaki, waving his arms. "No more yo mama jokes. They're annoying and uncreative. And don't forget that half of this challenge is about the actual break dancing!"

"Oh yeah." Said everyone. Obviously they got too caught up on the 'tude.

"All right, I am totally in the rhythm!" said Kamio as he rhythmed his way into the middle of the circle, joining Kirihara. The two of them got all medieval on each other for a little while with break dancing before Kamio finally stopped and said, "Somewhere, a sad village is being deprived of their idiot!"

"So, a thought crossed your mind?" said Kirihara. "Must have been a long and lonely journey!"

"OH SERVED!" yelled all the Brothers as Kirihara backed up.

"If ignorance is bliss, you must be the happiest person alive!" said Jackal as he came into the middle.

"Well I don't know what makes you so stupid, but it definitely works!" said Kamio.

"SERVED!" yelled everyone.

"I'm next!" said David as he and Kamio switched. "Okay so a blonde walks into a bar and—"

"No, that's the wrong kind of joke." Said Jackal.

"SERVED!" yelled the Brothers as Jackal started walking away.

"HEY!" said David. "I didn't get a chance to tell my joke…"

"Don't worry, you're not stupid!" said Marui, entering the circle. "You're just possessed by a retarded ghost!"

"Well so a blond walks into a bar and—" David started.

"SERVED!" yelled the Brothers.

"But…" said David as Tetsu came into the circle and everyone pulled David back to the outside.

"Hey, don't you need a license to be that ugly?" said Tetsu.

"If you looked up 'stupid' in the dictionary, they'd have a picture of YOU there!" said Marui.

"SERVED!" yelled the Brothers.

Tetsu turned around to be greeted by Atsushi. "Do you still love nature, despite what it did to you?" he said.

"Well…" Atsushi said slowly. "SECOND YEAR."

Tetsu gasped.

Even all the Brothers gasped.

"SNAP! SERVED!" they yelled after they regained their composure.

"That was just uncalled for!" Tetsu cried as he buried his face in his hands and ran away crying.

"Tetsu has been eliminated!" said Sakaki. "And, from that round, I decided to eliminate David as well because he was served SO badly."

"But I didn't get a chance to serve anyone!" whined David but he was punted out of the circle.

"Six teams remaining!" said Sakaki. "Let's go again!"

"I'll never forget the day we met, but I'll keep trying!" said Saeki as he approached Atsushi.

"Well, I thought of you today, but I was at the zoo!" said Atsushi.

"SERVED!"

The serving continued on and on and on. Eventually, Marui was eliminated based solely on the fact that he attempted to rap rhyme and serve Kamio with, "From your face I'll take that _smile _and then you'll end up in the dead body _pile_!" Even his own team requested that he be eliminated after that one.

Next up Jackal tried to do a break dancing move in which he spins on his head, but he fell over and harmed himself. Sakaki would have none of that so he moved to have Jackal eliminated right away.

Atsushi came next because he froze after he got served by Saeki who simply came out and said, "Your brother is better at tennis than you are!" He just couldn't even think of a comeback for that one and was officially COMPLETELY served. Saeki got some skin for that one.

However, Saeki was eliminated next because he accidentally recycled the "SECOND YEAR!" insult when facing Kirihara. Because recycling jokes were not allowed, he was immediately told he had to leave the service area.

So now all that remained was Kirihara and Kamio. Ironically enough… two second years!

"All right!" said Sakaki dramatically as he turned off the radio. "Our last two Brothers that remain are Kirihara from Team One and Kamio from Team Five!"

"YAY!" cheered Team Five and Team One.

"Team One has been doing an excellent job so far, having placed second in the first challenge and third in the second challenge!" Sakaki announced. "Do you suppose they could finally sneak away with a win?"

"OF COURSE WE CAN!" screamed Team One.

"And Team Five has a different story!" Sakaki went on. "They placed fourth in the first challenge and received credit for a third place victory in the second challenge!"

"GO TEAM!" cheered Team Five.

"Team One has thirteen points and Team Five has ten points." Said Sakaki. "What will happen when these two second years, the ONLY second years on their appointed teams, face off in a competition in which—"

"All right, enough introduction!" said Kirihara with an exasperated sigh.

"Yeah, let's just get it started!" Kamio insisted.

"Well, it seems as though these two are quite eager to serve each other, so let's not disappoint them!" said Sakaki. "This will be rapid fire serving. The first person to falter for even a moment will lose! Are you two ready?"

"READY!" said Kamio and Kirihara.

Team One all joined hands with each other. Fuji found himself on the end with only a loose grip on Yana, so he let go and wedged himself in between Taka (because he likes Taka) and Mizuki (because that's just fun) and gripped their hands tightly as if it was a matter of life and death.

Team Five, which consisted of just Sengoku, Oishi and Itsuki all eagerly chanted Kamio's name.

"Ready?" said Sakaki. "Starting with Kirihara… GO!"

"Someone once said that you weren't fit to sleep with pigs." Said Kirihara. "I stuck up for the pigs!"

"You may have been born with good looks, but I was born a good liar." Said Kamio.

"You are bad at tennis!" said Kirihara.

"Your hair looks like something died on it!" said Kamio.

"Your face looks like that of a Neanderthal's!" said Kirihara.

"Your sister is a ho!" said Kamio.

"Well YOUR sister is so greasy she uses bacon as a band-aid!" said Kirihara.

"You're so stupid that you blink and get lost!" said Kamio.

"YOU'RE so stupid that you went to an antique store and said, 'What's new?'" Kirihara retorted.

"Well, Kirihara, you're so corpulent that when you sit around the magnificently appointed Tuscan villa you sit AROUND the magnificently appointed Tuscan villa!" said Kamio.

Kirihara blinked.

"What?" he said.

"WINNER!" Sakaki interrupted as he dove over, grabbed Kamio's arm and threw it up in the air.

"YAY!" cheered Team Five.

"Kirihara…" said Fuji as he shook his head in disappointment.

"I bet all of you are curious to know who won today!" said Banji.

"No, we've all been adding it up in our heads." Said Inui.

Everyone looked at him skeptically.

"Well, _I _have been." Said Inui, adjusting his glasses.

"With a whopping TWENTY POINTS, the winners of today are the folks from TEAM ONE!" said Banji.

"WOOT!" cheered Team One, no matter how unlikely it seems that they would say something so outrageous.

"All right everyone," said Ojii. "The Pets? Please come with me."

"But I thought you said we didn't have to do anything!" complained Saeki.

"COME WITH ME." Said Ojii. "And Team Five, send a representative."

"ME!" said Sengoku as he elected himself and left the others in his dust, following Ojii and the other Pets.


	35. In Which Pets Compete

The Pets  
They didn't travel far. They really only just went to the other side of the courts where all the furniture was stacked. 

"As the Pet, you must select which pieces of furniture you will take back to your house." Ojii said.

Everyone gasped.

"To make it fair, we will just go down the line and you will each choose one." Said Ojii. "And then we'll start over and do it again until all the furniture is claimed. The amount of turns you get to chose things all depends on your amount of points."

"What exactly are our points?" asked Tachibana.

"Let's see…" Ojii said, looking at the clipboard. "Mizuki from Team One gets to select four pieces of furniture. Saeki from Team Four, Sengoku from Team Five, Eiji from Team Two and Tachibana from Team Three get to select three. Kaidou from Team Six and Atobe from Team Eight get to select two. Renji from Team Seven only gets one."

Everyone waited for more rules.

"Oh yes." Said Ojii. "That's a total of twenty-one pieces of furniture that are to be claimed, but we only stole a total of fourteen pieces of furniture from everyone's houses."

"What's that mean?" asked Mizuki.

"Well, we brought a few extra things just so we could keep our promise." Ojii said. "I will tell you what's up for grabs. We have three couches. Three kitchen tables. Three televisions. Two sets of bunk beds. Two comfy chairs. One big bed. A disco ball, a wading pool, a slide, a potted plant, a radio, a dry-erase board and a beanbag chair."

Ojii paused.

"Mizuki," said Ojii. "You get the first pick."

"Bunk beds." Mizuki said immediately.

"All right." Said Ojii. "Saeki? Second choice."

"The big bed." Saeki said.

"Sengoku?"

"Television!" Sengoku clapped his hands.

"Eiji?"

"Hm…" said Eiji. "This is tough… because my family isn't missing any furniture… maybe I'll go for…how about the wading pool?"

Everyone stared at him, but he nodded in confirmation.

"Okay…" said Ojii. "Tachibana, you're next."

"Well, we have enough beds for everyone…" Tachibana said. "So uh… comfy chair?"

"Okay." Said Ojii. "Kaidou."

"Kitchen table." Kaidou said.

"Atobe and then Renji." Ojii said.

"Bunk beds." Atobe said.

"That was going to be my choice." Renji said.

"Too bad." Said Atobe.

"Well…my family doesn't really need anything." Renji admitted.

Then he turned around and saw Jirou yelling "DISCO BALL! DISCO BALL!"

Renji faced Ojii again.

"We'll take the disco ball." He said finally.

"All right then." Said Ojii. "Now we're back at the beginning of the list. The things that remain are three couches, two kitchen tables, two televisions, one comfy chair, the slide, the potted plant, a dry erase board, a radio and the beanbag chair. Mizuki?"

"Couch." Mizuki said. "There's no way I'm going to be sleeping in the same bed as Fuji Shuusuke again."

"Yeah…" said everyone with utmost sympathy for him.

"Saeki." Said Ojii.

"I'll take a couch too." Saeki said.

"Sengoku now." Said Ojii.

"I'll take another television, please." Said Sengoku.

"Might I inquire as to why?" Ojii questioned.

"No." said Sengoku. "I have my reasons. Back off."

"Fine then." Said Ojii. "Eiji, your turn."

"Oh I don't know!" said Eiji. "We didn't need any of this stuff the first time around! How about… the slide?"

"Looks like you guys are going to be spending some time outdoors." Said Ojii. "How about Tachibana?"

"I pick…" Tachibana said slowly. "Beanbag chair."

"Next up is Kaidou and then Atobe, and keep in mind that these are your last choices so choose wisely." Said Ojii.

Kaidou looked at all the things that were available. "I'll take the potted plant." He said finally.

"How unexpected!" shouted everyone, but they were quiet when Kaidou glared at them.

"I will take the remaining television." Said Atobe.

"JERK!" cried Sengoku. "I wanted that television!"

"You already have two." Said Saeki.

"And you made us be the only team WITHOUT one." Said Mizuki.

"HAHA!" laughed Sengoku. "My mission is complete!"

"All right, the only things we have left are a couch, two kitchen tables, the comfy chair, the dry erase board and the radio." Ojii said. "Mizuki, you have first pick."

"I was GOING to pick a television…" said Mizuki. "But I don't really have that luxury anymore I guess. So I'll take our kitchen table back."

"Saeki? Last choice." Said Ojii.

"Wow, so many to choose from." Said Saeki sarcastically. "I guess I'll take our kitchen table back too then."

"Sengoku, your last pick." Said Ojii. "Between a couch, a dry-erase board, a comfy chair and a radio."

"Dry erase board, then." Said Sengoku.

"Eiji, your turn."

"Radio!" said Eiji with a shrug.

"Tachibana." Said Ojii.

"I literally don't need either of those things." Said Tachibana. "So I'll just take the comfy chair so we can all sit and watch television at the same time without having to have anyone sit on the floor."

"Way to just explain your life story." Said Saeki.

"Be quiet." Said Tachibana. He missed Fudomine.

"Well, Mizuki, since you have one choice left and there's only one option, you'll take the last couch." Said Ojii.

"I don't need another couch." Said Mizuki.

"Too bad." Said Ojii. "You have another couch now."

Ojii then looked around.

"You can head back to your houses." He said. "Your things will be magically taken there when you aren't looking."

"…Okay…" said everyone hesitantly as they went over to rejoin their teams and tell them the good or bad news.


	36. In Which We Rise Above

Night Four  
Team One  
"Well, we got our comfy chair, our television, our bunk beds and our couch taken away." Said Taka as they entered the house and saw all their new furniture. "But now it's like that never happened because we got that extra comfy chair from the time we won the challenge and we got everything back!" 

They entered the living room and then remembered that they had an extra couch instead of a television.

"Well, except we have an extra couch instead of a television." Said Fuji.

"Let's look on the bright side!" said Yana. "Now no one has to share a bed!"

"That IS a good thing!" said Taka.

"Very different from last night when we all shared the same bed." Said Kirihara.

"Well what about our special prize for winning today?" Mizuki wondered.

"Do you suppose it has anything to do with that big cake sitting on the kitchen table?" Fuji tried, pointing at the gigantic cake that was taking up practically the entire table.

Everyone slowly crept over to it as if it would attack them.

_Congratulations today! _was written on the top in frosting.

"I love how we didn't win a single event, but overall we did the best." Said Yana randomly as he went over to the silverware drawer and returned with a couple of forks.

"This isn't bad." Said Kirihara as Yana passed out the forks.

"No thank you." Said Fuji as Yana tried to hand him a fork.

"What, don't you ever eat?" Mizuki questioned. "I seriously haven't seen you eat a single thing since we got here."

Fuji stood there silently.

"Are any of you on Ootori Choutarou's tennis team?" he said.

"No." everyone answered in unison. And even if they WERE on his team, there's no way they would ever answer in the affirmative.

"I see." Said Fuji, taking the fork from Yana and then sticking it violently in the cake.

Everyone looked at the fork and then at the now Scary Creepy Fuji.

"I need to alleviate my anger on something less soft and defenseless." He said.

Everyone remained quiet.

Then Yana mouthed to Taka, "SAY SOMETHING."

Take cleared his throat. "So…" he began hesitantly. "Maybe we could all just eat this cake for dinner and dessert. So you don't even have to cook for us tonight, Fuji! Isn't that great?"

"I love cooking for my family." Said Fuji turning back into Pleasant Creepy Fuji.

"Well look, now you don't have to." Said Kirihara.

Fuji gave a heavy sigh. "I guess not." He said as he walked away, making his way towards the Parents room.

Everyone watched him go and then calmly sat down at the kitchen table, spooning cake in the mouths.

"You know why we've never seen him eat?" Mizuki whispered.

"Because he always eats when we're not watching?" Taka tried.

"Because he DOESN'T EAT." Said Mizuki. "You know why? Because he's actually the devil."

"Mizuki, REALLY." Said Yana. "Some people are just EVIL. Right, Taka?"

"Uh…I don't know…" said Taka. "Kirihara?"

"Don't ask me." Said Kirihara.

"There, you see?" said Mizuki. "I knew it."

"I am SO glad we got that extra couch…" Taka said.

Team Two  
"Whoa, you got a wading pool, a slide AND a radio?" said Momo as he ran to the window and looked outside. "No way! We really lucked out on this one! Eiji, you're the best Pet there is!" 

Then Momo went outside to get a closer look, leaving everyone else inside.

Eiji cleared his throat. "We need to talk about Momo's behavior earlier today." he said.

"Yeah," said Marui. "But he won't want to hear it."

"I bet if we all teamed up against him, we could take him." Said Gakuto. "I bet Ootori could take him on his own! What do you say, Ootori?"

Choutarou went to the sink to look for any dirty dishes. "Well," he said. "It's just that…Momo has to live with what he did to us, and don't you think that's punishment enough?"

The rest of the family stared at him.

"NO." they said finally.

"Well, I'm not interested in taking this any further." Said Choutarou.

"Did you FORGET what he did to us?" demanded Marui. "And YOU? And SHISHIDO?"

"No…" said Choutarou. "But forgive and forget. That's important. And I don't want to be apart of anything you three are going to do so just leave me out of all your little plans."

"Fine." Said Gakuto, crossing his arms. "We're not going to get any help from him. The three of us should be enough to take him out."

"Are you sure?" said Eiji. "I mean, he took me and Marui at the same time. And did you see him take out Shishido?"

"We can't just let this slide though!" said Marui.

That's when Momo came back inside.

"Nice job picking the best stuff ever for us to take home." Said Momo as he went to the radio and turned it on. And it just so happened the 'Forgive and Forget' by Blondie was playing.

Everyone stared at him, except Choutarou who was quite preoccupied with washing dishes.

"Come on." Said Choutarou. "If Shishido can forgive me for hitting _ridiculous _serves at him for hours on end, then it's not that hard to forgive Momo for going temporarily insane! It happens to the best of us!"

"Oh what the hell." Said Eiji. "If Oishi can forgive me for playing doubles with anyone that ISN'T him, then I can surely forgive Momo too!"

"And if Oshitari can forgive me for getting tired out so easily in all of our matches, then who am I to hold a grudge against Momo?" said Gakuto.

"And if Jackal was here right now, he'd DEFINITELY say to forgive Momo." Marui finished off.

"Aw you guys and your doubles!" said Momo. "I think today has been a very important experience for all of us!"

"How so?" said Choutarou.

"Well, I've learned to respect people who play doubles and treat it like it's MORE than just playing tennis with two people on the same court." Said Momo. "And it's none of my business to tell anyone that it's JUST playing tennis with two people on the same court!"

"And what have we learned?" said Marui.

"You've all learned that I'm stronger than all of you!" said Momo.

The doubles people looked at each other.

"He's got a point." Said Gakuto.

"Group hug!" said Eiji.

"I love hugs!" said Choutarou as all five of them got together and hugged like it was their job.

Team Three  
"Do you have some sort of sick obsession with chairs, Tachibana?" Aoi asked. "I just have to ask." 

"No, why do you 'just have to ask'?" Tachibana said.

"Because…" Aoi took a deep breath. "Have you noticed how many chairs you have managed to acquire for us?"

Tachibana looked around. "…What do you mean?"

"Well," said Aoi. "Not only did you make a chair for us in the very first challenge, but in this challenge you got us two more of these huge comfy chairs AND a beanbag chair."

Tachibana took a moment to look around the living room area to see that there wasn't a lot of floor space, and it was mostly covered by various chairs previously mentioned by Aoi.

"So what's your point?" Tachibana glared at him.

"We don't need this many chairs." Aoi said. "THAT'S my point."

Just then, David walked in and the two captains stared at him.

"Well?" Tachibana led.

"Well, Tezuka woke up finally." Said David.

"And?" Aoi said.

"And then he fell back asleep." David answered.

"Oh." said Tachibana and Aoi.

"You know, he's going to wake up at some point and then he's going to be up all night wondering why he's not tired." Said David.

"Maybe we should give him more Nyquil." Tachibana suggested as he looked at Aoi.

"You don't have to give me a hard time." Said Aoi. "I didn't think there would be a difference between Dayquil and Nyquil."

"Why not?" demanded Tachibana, sounding offended at Aoi's ignorance. "How could you possibly not anticipate a difference between those two? One is _Day_quil and the other is _Ny_quil… as in DAY and NIGHT… as in TOTAL OPPOSITES."

"You know what?" said Aoi. "I don't have to take this from you!"

"Whatever," said David. "Guys, let's not fight. Let's think of the good thing that came out of this mix up with Dayquil and Nyquil."

"That's true." Agreed Tachibana. "We know now that Tezuka will definitely not win the individual challenge."

"And that is a good thing." Aoi said.

They all got up and slapped each other five in a big circle of joy.

"So now what do we do?" said Aoi. "We have ten thousand chairs and only three people."

"Actually, in this room we have four chairs, plus a couch." David corrected. "And only five in the other room. So we could technically seat eleven people if we so desired."

"All thanks to YOU Tachibana!" said Aoi.

"Guys, think about it." Said Tachibana. "THOSE chairs are for the kitchen. The couch is for sleeping on. What if someone spilled something on one of the comfy chairs and made it not-sit-on-able? We'd have this extra chair and everyone would have someplace to sit."

"Why didn't you choose one of the others things BESIDES more chairs?" Aoi asked. "There was a whole pile of furniture and you were one of the first people in line to pick."

"The other options were stupid." Said Tachibana. "They had a wading pool and a slide and stuff like that."

David and Aoi looked at each other. "AND YOU TOOK MORE CHAIRS?" they yelled angrily.

Team Four  
"All in all, everybody, I think we did pretty well in the challenge today." Said Sakurai as everyone sat around the kitchen table with some Fanta in glasses. 

"HERE HERE!" cheered the entire team as they clinked their beverages.

"Where shall I begin?" Sakurai went on. "Why, Hiyoshi performed superiorly in the challenge in which all he had to do was stand on a podium longer than anyone else."

"Yes, yes I did." Said Hiyoshi with a nod.

"SPEECH!" said Saeki.

"Oh no no, I couldn't, I'd be too embarrassed…" said Hiyoshi.

"SPEECH SPEECH!" cheered the rest of the time.

"Oh very well." Said Hiyoshi as he stood up. "It all started a little while ago when I was studying martial arts at—"

"Okay, okay, we weren't serious." Said Sakurai.

"You guys were practically chanting it." Said Hiyoshi.

"We were going to stop after you refused us a second time." Ryoma admitted.

"Oh." said Hiyoshi, sitting back down.

"And how shall I continue?" Sakurai went on. "Yukimura, if you hadn't gotten ill then Saeki would have never been able to step up to the plate and successfully serve many opponents."

"Well, what can I say?" said Yukimura.

"Don't be modest." Said Sakurai. "And you, Saeki, you performed superiorly as well. What, with your ability to jump out just when we thought we were disqualified and then do a bang up job, coupled with your tenacity in winning back the most important of all our pieces of furniture…" Sakurai gave a sigh of satisfaction. "I could go on forever. Being in your presence is truly humbling."

"It has been an honor working with the team." Said Saeki. "And lest we not forget YOU as well, Sakurai."

"Oh no," said Sakurai. "You're going to embarrass me!"

"When will you meet another man in all your years who could candidly put on a pair of high heeled shoes and dance to songs such as Zoot Suit Riot and Elvis's timeless I Can't Help Falling in Love?" Saeki narrated. "Never. Sakurai, you are one of a kind."

"I'm turning all red!" said Sakurai as he did just that.

"To our team!" said Yukimura, once again raising his glass.

"Our team!" said Hiyoshi.

"Our team." Said Sakurai and Saeki at the same time.

They were just about to drink when Ryoma cleared his throat.

Then they stared at him.

"What?" they all said.

"You guys forgot about me." Ryoma said. "You haven't said anything nice about me yet."

They blinked.

"You know, how I did really well in the challenge and whatnot?" Ryoma suggested.

"Ryoma, you did horribly in the challenge." Said Saeki. "You made Sakurai trip and therefore caused us to place poorly in that round."

"ME?" said Ryoma. "Sakurai tripped himself and crashed into ME!"

"That's irrelevant!" said Saeki. "Don't bother Ryoma. You're a first year and your useless."

"Aw…" said Ryoma. "I thought we were all being friendly to each other."

Everyone looked at Ryoma's sad face as he sat there looking at the floor and sniffling occasionally. They felt bad.

"Okay, okay, Ryoma." Said Hiyoshi. "We do have ONE nice thing to say about you."

"Really?" said Ryoma between sniffles.

Everyone raised their glasses.

"You are the prince of tennis." They all said together.

"I'll drink to that." Said Ryoma, and they all clinked and drank for a final time.


	37. In Which Rules Are Established

Team Five  
"All right." Said Sengoku as the entire team stood outside the bathroom that still had the chair wedged under the handle. "Does everyone know what they're doing?" 

"Are you sure we should do this?" said Oishi. "I mean, he's been in the bathroom all day and we haven't heard anything in a while."

"Well that's exactly why we have to do it." Said Sengoku. "Shishido hasn't gotten an opportunity to sleep outside yet like the rest of us have."

Itsuki raised his hand.

"Except Itsuki of course." Sengoku quickly corrected himself. "So we have to give him that chance or else it won't be fair."

"So can we run through the plan again?" Kamio asked.

"Okay." Said Sengoku, looking annoyed. "I open the door…" Sengoku paused. "You guys all grab him while I open the front door… and then we throw him outside before he even has a chance to realize what's going on!"

The others stared at him blankly.

"Just do it." Said Sengoku. "On the count of three. One…two… THREE!"

Sengoku flung open the door and everyone braced themselves to be attacked by the nuclear explosion that is Shishido, but instead they just found one of the most pitiful sights of their LIVES.

Shishido was curled up on the bathroom floor with a single small towel draped over him, teeth chattering.

So they stopped.

Then they looked at each other.

"Hey, it's cold in here, isn't it?" said Itsuki.

"Yeah, I turned the air conditioning up before we left so it'd be nice in here when we got home." Said Kamio. "But I guess since the door was shut in here all the cold air kind of just gathered."

"Oh stop being a baby!" said Sengoku to Shishido. "It's not THAT cold!"

Oishi lifted the towel up and observed. "His clothes are still wet." He said.

"Eeeeeeee…" said Sengoku just like I Love Lucy.

That's when Shishido finally seemed to notice them.

"Oh… hi guys…" he said with a big dopey smile on his face.

"Uh…hi Shishido." They waved nervously at him.

"Are you feeling okay, Shishido?" Oishi asked.

"Oh, I'm feeling FINE…" said Shishido, still smiling. "You guys look great."

"I think he's delirious." Kamio whispered to Oishi.

"Okay, Shishido is officially ACTUALLY sick!" Oishi announced. "I have made the diagnosis right now!"

"So what does that mean?" said Sengoku with a raised eyebrow. "I bet you're not going to let me make him sleep outside, are you?"

"Definitely not." Said Oishi. "Let's move him to a bed."

Everyone worked together to lift Shishido up off the ground and carry him into the Parent's room, even though Sengoku was yelling, "NOT THE BIG BED! NOT THE BIG BED!"

They put him in the bed, and just kind of threw an arbitrary pair of pajamas at him before running out of the room and closing the door.

"I feel kind of bad now." Said Itsuki.

"Yeah…" the others agreed.

"Hey guys, let's look on the bright side." Said Sengoku. "We have TWO televisions now!"

He ran into the living room and pointed at the two televisions side by side with great enthusiasm.

"What's up with that?" said Itsuki.

"That's wicked re-tahhh-ded." Remarked Kamio.

Team Six  
"Out of all the things we could have gotten, Kaidou picks the plant." Oshitari said to the twins as they watched Kaidou out the window while he tended to his new plant that he had taken the time to put into the ground. He had also hung up his birdhouse right above it as well, and dubbed that area 'Kaidou's Korner' (with backwards K's of COURSE!) and even put up a 'No Trespassing' sign. 

"We could have gotten another couch." Said Ryou.

"We could have gotten ANYTHING ELSE." Atsushi commented.

They all watched him for a little while.

"Do you think he and Akutsu are really going to have their rumble tonight?" Oshitari asked.

The other two shrugged.

Just then, the front door slammed open and Akutsu came stomping in, leaving big Akutsu-sized footprints in the floor right next to the Kaidou-sized ones that had been left there days earlier.

"EVERYONE!" he yelled.

"Uh…yes?" they said, diving for the helmets and putting them on.

"I've decided…" he said, taking his own helmet off for the first time in forever. So he had intense helmet hair. "That being safe is for pussies!"

The three stared at him.

"So no more helmets and no more safety!" Akutsu announced, slamming his helmet down on the table so it collapsed and broke into a hundred thousand trillion million zillion tiny pieces.

He wiped his hands off and looked satisfied with his mess.

"You know," said Oshitari as he took off his helmet and calmly put it under his arm without feeling the need to break anything. "We JUST got that table back."

"Like an hour ago." Ryou added.

"Now it's broken." Atsushi finished.

"So?" said Akutsu. "Do something about it."

"What can we do?" Oshitari said.

"Fix it." Akutsu said as if it was obvious.

"That's impossible." Said Ryou. "It's in a hundred thousand trillion million zillion tiny pieces."

"That's a lot of pieces." Atsushi said. "Do you KNOW how many pieces that is?"

"Seriously, if we got that many paperclips and put them all in a barrel, we'd need a ridiculously huge barrel." Said Oshitari. "Probably the size of a water tower."

"WHATEVER." Said Akutsu. "DON'T fix it then!"

"Obviously." Said Ryou.

"You know, I don't appreciate your attitude." Said Akutsu, threateningly approaching Ryou.

Ryou hid under his own hands and winced just as the back door opened.

There stood…KAIDOU! With a light behind him! And the wind blowing! And a determined expression! And fertilizer on his pants! With a bag of birdseed in his hand! And a watering pail in his other hand!

"That's quite an entrance." Said Akutsu.

Kaidou only grunted angrily at Akutsu.

Akutsu grunted back.

"Oh it's on now." Atsushi said. "It's ON."

"OMG it's ON!" said Ryou.

"It is SO on." Said Kaidou.

"Midnight." Said Akutsu. "Be there or be square. And trust me, you don't want to be square."

"Trust me, you don't want to be THERE." Said Kaidou.

Akutsu looked confused. "What?" he said.

Kaidou looked annoyed. "Because I'm going to beat you up." He clarified. "It doesn't work if I have to EXPLAIN it to you."

"Well…I knew that!" said Akutsu.

"Is it still on?" questioned Oshitari.

"OH IT'S ON!" said Kaidou and Akutsu as more lightning bolts shot back and forth and fire exploded behind them.

Team Seven  
"Hm…" 

Inui stood by the window, looking constantly back and forth between his data book and the sky.

"Check." Said Renji as he moved his bishop into place.

Sanada hastily moved his king.

"Hm…" Inui said again.

Tetsu looked around to see if anyone was watching him cheat at Solitaire so he could have the personal satisfaction of winning, even if he was playing a game like Solitaire.

"Hm…" Inui sounded more and more perplexed.

Jirou was snoring loudly, while clutching onto the brand new disco ball they had received as if it were his teddy bear.

"Hm…hm…"

"Inui, could you please stop doing that?" Sanada requested. "I'm trying to concentrate."

"Why not ask Jirou to stop snoring?" Inui questioned.

"How am I supposed to ask Jirou to stop snoring?" Said Sanada. "He's sleeping right now. Hence the snoring. He's SLEEPING…hence snoring."

"Wake him up then." Renji suggested. "That would stop his snoring. Check."

"Tetsu, wake up Jirou." Sanada commanded.

"Okay…" said Tetsu as he put his cards down and went to the light switch. He turned the lights off and the disco ball attached to the ceiling started up, emitting colors and lights and all sorts of other grand things.

Jirou immediately stopped snoring and his eyes opened.

"DISCO BALL!" he shouted.

Then he looked at what he was clinging onto.

"ANOTHER DISCO BALL!" he shouted LOUDER.

He got up and commenced his dancing as everyone stared at him.

"All right, that's enough." Sanada gestured to Tetsu.

Tetsu turned the lights back on, which turned the disco ball off. Jirou looked disappointed for a couple of seconds, but then yawned and fell back asleep. This time, he wasn't snoring.

"That worked." Said Sanada.

"Of course it worked." Said Inui. "It was my idea."

"Mm…" said Tetsu as he sat back down to continue his game of Solitaire. You know, the one he's cheating at. But he's only cheating himself.

There was silence again in the living room.

"Hm…" Inui mumbled.

"Inui, I asked you to stop that." Said Sanada as he moved his queen. "Check." He declared proudly.

Renji studied the board and then moved his knight, taking the queen.

"Hey!" said Sanada with a pout.

"Hm…" Inui said.

"Why do you have to keep doing that?" Tetsu asked.

"Because it's about to rain." Inui turned around, and as soon as he did, the skies erupted with thunder and it immediately started pouring like in the BIBLE. The rain on the roof was so noisy it sounded like someone was dropping golf balls on it.

"Hm…" Inui recorded this in his data book as Sanada slowly stood up and looked out the window.

Renji moved his pawn forward one space. "Checkmate." he stated.

Team Eight  
"I must say, Atobe, this time around you did a good job." Said Yuuta. "And I'd definitely be the last person to admit that you did a good job so that's certainly saying something." 

"No, I would be the last person to say he did a good job." Said Jackal.

"No, it would definitely be me!" argued Bane.

"But I thought—" Shinji began.

"Let's not argue over trifles." Said Atobe.

"Well, yeah, you're right." Yuuta said. "We got an extra set of bunk beds, which is great because now me and Shinji don't have to fight over the couch anymore."

"We all have a place to sleep now." Said Bane.

"What a relief." Shinji agreed.

"And you also got us our television back." Said Yuuta.

"WHICH IS AWESOME." Said everyone else.

"Yes, now we don't have to go outside or do anything except watch television." Shinji said.

"Well, I figured you all deserved it for being so well behaved over the past couple of days." Atobe said.

No one knew how to respond to that.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Jackal said finally.

"Oh nothing." Said Atobe, taking a sip of his tea.

"Well, now that we're all on better terms, there are a few things we would like to discuss with you, Atobe." Said Yuuta. "You can keep the bed and that room. We won't bother with that anymore."

"Good, because your bothering over it was certainly getting annoying." Atobe said.

Yuuta frowned. "So… we just have a few requests." He went on. "Guys?"

"No more singing in the shower." Jackal said. "Unless your singing is lowered to a quiet hum."

"No more condescending remarks." Bane said.

"No more putting your hand up in front of your face like this." Shinji said as he demonstrated. "I don't know why, but I've just never really liked it when you did that."

"And no more opening our mail." Yuuta added.

Atobe looked disappointed with his family unit.

"Why are all these restrictions pinned solely on me?" he said.

"Because you're the only one who's so annoying that you need restrictions such as the ones we just mentioned." Said Jackal. "And we didn't even really mention all of them."

"Well, now that I've seen your attitudes, I'm starting to think I should have just requested something useless like the potted plant or the wading pool." Said Atobe as he stood up and put his hand in front of face.

"God damn it!" said Shinji angrily.

"So I shall retire for the night." Said Atobe as he started backing up into the Parents room. "I hope all of you fail to sleep comfortable in the bunk beds I sought to win you. And I hope every time you watch television, you think of how you have so wronged me."

He shut the door.

The remaining family gave heavy sighs and looked at each other with hopeless expressions.

"He's sort of right…" said Jackal. "But he's just SO ANNOYING…"

"I'm not apologizing, if that's what he expects." Said Bane.

"He put his hand in front of his face like that JUST to annoy me." Shinji crossed his arms childishly.

Yuuta stared at the closed door with vengeance in his eyes; and such vengeance has only been seen in his eyes whence he watches Fuji perform superiorly to him in tennis! THAT'S how vengeful he was!

"Guys," he said, sounding overly dramatic as he looked at them over his shoulder. "I still hate him."


	38. In Which the Fifth Day Beings

Morning Five  
Team One  
"Hey, hey!" came a voice. "Hey, wake up Taka!" 

Taka rolled over and looked up. He had slept on the second couch that night while Fuji had slept in the big bed, which made him feel grand to finally not have to share a bed with Fuji. But now Yana, Kirihara and Mizuki were all standing over him.

"What?" Taka asked.

"Guess who won the challenge yesterday." Said Kirihara, showing the letter to Taka.

"Me?" said Taka.

"No." said Kirihara, crossing his arms. "ME."

"Oh." said Taka.

"After waiting for so long, I am FINALLY the Dad!" said Kirihara. "And, as the Dad, I have made an executive decision."

"What's that?" Taka asked.

"I want you to put these in Fuji's morning orange juice." Kirihara said as he put two pills in Taka's hand.

"What are these?" said Taka. "Why me?"

"Because if he finds out then he won't kill YOU!" said Yana as he offered a glass of orange juice to Taka.

Slowly, Taka dropped the two pills inside the orange juice.

"I got this idea while talking to Tachibana on the sidelines during the competition yesterday." Mizuki said.

"Good morning family." Said Fuji as he walked into the living room.

"Good morning Fuji." The family chimed.

"Guess what!" said Kirihara. "I won the competition!"

"Congratulations." Said Fuji with a smile.

"Yeah so I'm the Dad now." Kirihara announced.

"Rightfully so." Fuji nodded.

"Yeah and uh…" Kirihara went on. "You're the uh… the Brother!"

"Brother?" repeated Mizuki and Yana together in that tone that suggested they had meant to say, "That isn't what we talked about!"

"Yana, you're the Pet." Kirihara said. "Mizuki, the Mom and Taka the Sister. Okay?"

"Okay." Fuji shrugged.

Then there was silence as everyone stood there. Silently.

"Oh and by the way, Fuji." Said Yana. "Do you want some orange juice?"

"No thank you." Fuji politely declined.

More silence.

"Taka made it." Mizuki tried. "He went out and picked some oranges and then squeezed them in his hand."

"Huh?" said Taka but Mizuki elbowed him in the stomach.

"Oh." said Fuji. "Well, if he went through so much trouble."

Fuji took the glass of orange juice and downed it in about five seconds.

"Strange." Fuji said. "It tastes just like the kind we buy. Maybe you shouldn't go through all the trouble, Taka."

With that, he walked away.

"Why didn't it work?" inquired Kirihara.

"I don't—" Mizuki began but then they heard a loud THUMP from the kitchen, and when they all ran in, they found Fuji lying face first on the floor.

"You guys KILLED him!" Taka exclaimed. "Those pills were poison! Now how is Seigaku going to win Nationals? And you guys tricked ME into actually performing the murder!"

"No we didn't!" said Yana. "He's not dead at all! They were sleeping pills!"

"Now we can just have a normal day without having to worry if the person missing from the room is actually dead." Mizuki explained.

Taka paused. "Aha…" he said.

Team Two  
"WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" yelled Eiji as he slid down the slide. 

Almost the entire family was outside in full rain garb while playing in their newly acquired items, specifically the slide and the wading pool. Even though it was pouring, they were determined to enjoy these things since this was their last day in the house.

"Where's Momo, by the way?" said Choutarou as he joined Marui in the wading pool.

"He said he'd be right out." Gakuto answered as he took a turn down the slide as well.

"You know, this all seems kind of ludicrous." Marui commented.

Before anyone could tell him that he was wrong for saying something so ridiculous, the backdoor suddenly opened and Momo was there.

"HEY GUYS!" he yelled.

"HEY MOMO!" they all greeted him.

"Come here, I want to show something to you!" Momo said as he ran outside while carrying a pad of paper and doing his best to shield it from the rain with his body.

Everyone ran over and looked over his shoulder.

"Look at this," he said. "I added up all the times I played doubles versus all the times I played singles this year…"

"…Hmm…?" everyone leaned in closer.

"And look!" said Momo. "I've played doubles FOUR TIMES as often!"

Everyone paused.

"Momo!" said Choutarou finally. "You know what this means, don't you?"

"I think I do!" said Momo, looking giddy.

"You're a doubles player!" cheered Eiji, grabbing Momo and giving him a big hug.

"You're just like us!" Gakuto said, hugging him as well.

"Group hugs rock!" said Marui as he and Choutarou joined in on the hug as well.

"Aw you guys!" said Momo, hugging them back. "All this time I had no idea that I was a doubles player!"

They all remained that way for a little while.

"Oh right!" said Momo as he moved slightly, which caused everyone to pull away from him and look upon him curiously. He pulled a letter out of his pocket and handed it to Choutarou. "You won the individual thing again, Ootori. You get to switch the families around. AGAIN."

"Really?" Choutarou said excitedly.

"Have you won EVERY TIME?" questioned Gakuto.

"No, I won once." Said Momo all too quickly.

"All right…" said Choutarou. "Well, I promised I'd make Marui the Dad next so… I guess you're the Dad now, Marui!"

"Woot!" said Marui. "I have been the Brother literally the whole time."

"And Momo, you can be the Brother." Choutarou said. "Other than that, I think it would just be easiest if we all stayed the same."

Yes, he had horseshoe eyes.

Everyone agreed with this idea.

"Say, we haven't used our new radio yet!" said Eiji.

"That should be considered a crime!" said Gakuto.

"Everyone inside!" said Marui.

"We'll have lots of fun!" agreed Momo.

"Let's have…" Choutarou led.

"A DANCE PARTY!" they cheered as they all ran inside, flung off their wet raingear, put on a hip song that everyone was into and then started shaking their booties like there was no tomorrow.

Oh Team Two.

Team Three  
"To be honest, I don't know if I can share the same room as the two of you anymore…" Tachibana started as he exited the Kids room while rubbing his eyes tiredly. 

He was surprised when he saw Tezuka sitting at the kitchen table with his chin resting on his folded hands. He looked concerned.

Aoi and David poked their heads out from behind Tachibana.

"Oh." said Aoi. "Good morning Tezuka."

"Good morning." Tezuka said. He was staring at them.

Silence.

"Let me tell you the story of a certain tennis player." Tezuka gestured for them all to sit down at the table. Awkwardly and nervously they did, taking their seats in one of Tachibana's numerous and copious chairs.

"Er…does this have anything to do with—" David began but Tezuka put his hand up to stop him.

"There once was a man who was sure that all that glitters is gold." Tezuka began. "And even if stores were closed, with a word he could get what he came for. Do you know what he was trying to buy?"

"Uh…no…" they all said.

"The stairway to heaven." Said Tezuka. "He was buying the stairway to heaven."

"…" said everyone else.

"You know, even if there's a sign on the wall, you have to be sure." Tezuka went on, standing up and pacing. "Because, you know, sometimes words have two meanings. And in that tree by the brook, there's a songbird that sings, 'Sometimes all of our thoughts are missgiven'."

"Wait, Tezuka, what did you mean by—"

"He's buying the stairway to heaven?" Tezuka interrupted.

"Yeah that," Tachibana said.

"Well," Tezuka said. "There's a feeling he got when he looked to the west as his spirit was crying to leave. In his thoughts he saw rings of smoke through the trees and the voices of those who stand looking…and it's whispered that soon, if we all call the tune, then the piper will lead us to reason—"

"Hang on." Said Aoi. "I've heard this before. The new day will dawn for those who stand long and the forest will echo with laughter?"

Tezuka paused. "You have heard the story of this tennis player before." He inferred.

"I guess I have." Aoi shrugged.

"Where were you going with this story, by the way?" David asked.

Tezuka paused again. "Why did you all give me Nyquil?"

All at once, the three started explaining and pointing fingers and yelling and being frazzled. Tezuka took a few steps backwards and allowed them to continue until they all burst into tears, got down on their knees and begged for forgiveness.

"It's all right, it's all right." Said Tezuka. "I suppose there wasn't TOO much harm done. After all…"

He raised his hand to reveal he had a letter that was addressed to HIM. It was in a plain envelope, the kind they had gotten used to seeing when their teachers sent them mail.

"It seems I have won again."

"NO WAY!" yelled David, Tachibana and Aoi.

"It has to be a fake!" said Aoi.

"You were sleeping!" said Tachibana. "How did you win?"

"That certainly says something about how YOU ALL performed." Said Tezuka as he took the letter back and then took his leave.

Team Four  
"Left hand blue." Said Yukimura.

He only watched as the four of his teammates struggled to reach their left hands to the blue circles without falling all over each other.

"Really, Hiyoshi…" said Saeki. "Do we HAVE to play Twister?"

"Even if it IS the hot spot?" Sakurai added.

"Yes." Said Hiyoshi. "We do."

"Right foot yellow." Yukimura dictated.

"Why do we have to listen to Hiyoshi anyway?" Ryoma asked as he stretched his foot to a yellow circle.

"Hey, that's my yellow circle!" said Saeki.

"We're listening to Hiyoshi because he's the new Dad of the house since he won the individual award in the challenge yesterday for doing so well." Sakurai answered.

"Exactly." Said Hiyoshi.

"And besides," Saeki said. "It's raining so it's not like we can go outside and play tennis."

"Right hand red."

"We could still play tennis in the rain." Ryoma said as he strained himself like there was no tomorrow to reach a red circle.

"No we couldn't." said Hiyoshi. "It's dangerous."

"And besides," said Saeki. "Our court was drawn with chalk so it's all washed off by now."

"But why do we have to play TWISTER?" Ryoma demanded.

"Because that's the game I wanted to play." Said Hiyoshi. "What would you rather do? Play Parcheesi?"

"Plus," Sakurai said, taking a deep breath as he tried to stay up. "We're definitely building up our endurance so we'll be more prepared for any future tennis matches we play."

"You guys could have just said that from the start!" said Ryoma.

They all started to pant twisted up in a knot like that.

"Yukimura!" said Sakurai. "What's the next order?"

They waited.

Then they looked over at Yukimura to see that he had ONCE AGAIN, hacked up more blood and had passed out.

So now they all looked at each other.

"What do we do?" Hiyoshi asked.

"Well, we could ruin our Twister game and run over to Yukimura's aid…" Saeki began.

"OR, we could continue to wait here for him to eventually wake up like he always does and just build up our stamina and endurance while we're waiting…" Ryoma said.

"Ryoma," said Sakurai. "That is so insensitive."

"Sorry." Said Ryoma. "But since I'm so awesome at tennis, I'm always looking for ways to stay on top."

"And I'm always looking for ways to get better." Hiyoshi added, glaring at Ryoma.

They paused, looked at Yukimura one more time and then all simultaneously got determined expressions on their faces; the kind where you just KNEW that none of them would EVER give up.

"I am SO winning this Twister game." Said Saeki.

"Not if I win it first." Said Sakurai.

"The game is only yours to lose." Hiyoshi said.

"Why are you all even bothering?" Ryoma sighed.


	39. In Which a Teammate is Abused

Team Five  
Oishi exited the Parents room where Kamio, Itsuki and Sengoku were all waiting.

"Well?" said Itsuki.

"Well," Oishi said as he held up a thermometer. "His temperature is now one hundred and four so…"

"A BATH OF ICE CUBES!" cheered Sengoku. "YES!"

Sengoku ran into the kitchen to prepare ice.

"Really?" said Kamio to Oishi.

"Yeah." Said Oishi. "Because if his temperature gets any higher then he'll probably die."

Itsuki and Kamio stared at him.

"You said that so casually." Itsuki commented.

"Yeah well." Oishi shrugged.

That's when Sengoku came running back in with a tray of ice cubes in his hand. "Guys, I definitely thought that Shishido being sick was going to be a total drag, but this is actually fun."

"Now, now." Said Oishi. "We're not going to fill the bathtub up with ice and then put Shishido in it because it's FUN, we're going to do it to save his life."

Sengoku raised an eyebrow. "And it's fun." He added.

"Well, maybe just a little bit." Oishi agreed.

They all ran around the house and started collecting up all the ice they had. And somehow they managed to fill the tub up half way, even though that seems a little ridiculous that they would just have that much ice hanging around the house, but work with us here.

"I don't want to go in the bathroom…" Shishido whined and Itsuki and Oishi both worked together to carry him to the bathtub. "I don't want to do it…"

"It's for your own good, Shishido." Said Oishi as they put him right over the ice filled tub and dropped him in it.

He whined and struggled fruitlessly until he eventually stopped bothering.

"How long should he stay in there?" Kamio asked.

"Just about thirty seconds." Oishi said.

"Hey look!" said Sengoku as he held up a letter. "Kamio got another letter!"

"Did I win the individual challenge?" Kamio cheered as he exited the bathroom to take the letter, and Itsuki and Oishi promptly followed him to see if it was true. "I did! Oh yay!"

"So I guess you have to change the family now." Said Sengoku.

Kamio paused and looked around at everyone standing before him. Then he looked out the window. It was raining very hard.

"Well, I think we should probably abandon the idea of keeping outside Pets anymore." Said Kamio.

"YAY!" cheered Itsuki. "I was so sure you were going to pick me as the Pet just because I haven't been outside yet."

"Uh…no." said Kamio. "Oishi, you can be the Pet again because I hold a grudge, but you don't have to be an outside Pet unless it stops raining."

"Oh." said Oishi, looking sad. "Okay."

"I'M the Dad of course." Kamio went on. "Sengoku… you can be the Mom."

"Aw man!" said Sengoku.

"Itsuki, you can be the Brother." Kamio said.

"Okay." Said Itsuki.

"And Shishido can be whatever's left… the Sister I think." Kamio decided.

Everyone nodded and stood there, and then Shishido whined again.

"Oops, we forgot about Shishido." Said Oishi. "I think that the two people who didn't carry him TOO the bathtub should have to take him OUT of the bathtub."

They all stared at each other for a little bit.

"What?" said Sengoku. "I hope you're not talking about ME."

"Hello?" Shishido called. "I'm cold…"

"Oh fine." Said Oishi with a sigh. "Someone help me!"

Kamio decided to be helpful, and it's a good thing too!

"I hate everyone…" Shishido complained as they carried him back to the Parents room.

"Don't forget your bow!" said Sengoku as he tossed the bow in Shishido's general direction.

Team Six  
"As the individual winner of the challenge, the only change I'm going to make is to appoint Kaidou as the new Dad, and Akutsu as the new Pet." Atsushi announced.

Of course, he was making this announcement to only Oshitari and Ryou BUT HEY! It was a start.

"So if either of you two see either of them, please let them know." Said Atsushi.

Oshitari frowned and Ryou shook his head.

"Frankly, I'm afraid to even leave this room." Said Atsushi, pointing to the door that led outside the Kids room, which was where everyone was currently staking out.

"Yeah…" Ryou agreed. "After Akutsu trampled all over Kaidou's Korner just to provoke him, I've been too afraid to do much of anything."

"Have those two been outside since then?" Oshitari questioned.

"I think so." Said Atsushi.

Oshitari went to the door and grabbed the knob.

"What are you doing?" Ryou said desperately, jumping up and grabbing Oshitari to keep him from leaving. "Are you going OUT THERE?"

"Well, if they're outside then it shouldn't be a problem." Oshitari said. "Besides, I doubt that just this door would keep us safe if those two were truly engaged in mortal combat."

Ryou and Atsushi looked sad because of all the false security that was keeping them content was just shattered right then and there.

Oshitari slowly opened the door and peered around. He didn't see or hear anything so he crept out into the kitchen. He figured everything was all right, so he relaxed.

But as soon as he did, Ryou and Atsushi jumped over and grabbed his arms, which of course caused him to jump in surprise.

"Let go of me." Oshitari commanded, shaking them both off after he had regained his composure.

"Where are they?" Atsushi inquired.

Ryou went to the window that looked out into the backyard.

"They're not outside." He reported.

That's when the front door swung open.

"—So Inui asked me to play doubles and I said okay for just that time because I figured it was a one time thing, but as it turns out—"

Kaidou stopped in the doorway when he discovered that Oshitari, Ryou and Atsushi were all staring at him.

"What?" said Kaidou, looking irritated.

"Where's Akutsu?" they all asked.

And then Akutsu came inside as well and took off his raincoat.

"What?" he said, looking as irritated as Kaidou.

"What are you all staring at?" demanded Kaidou.

"Weren't you two going to fight to the death?" Oshitari questioned.

Akutsu and Kaidou looked at each other and then threw their heads back and laughed.

"Well, we WERE." Said Kaidou in response to the other three's obvious intense desire to know what they were laughing at. "But then we came to a mutual understanding of each other's differences."

"Wait…just like that?" Ryou said.

"Yeah, you want to make something of it?" demanded Akutsu.

"No, no." said Ryou. "Don't mind me."

"I also want to make an announcement." Said Akutsu. "I'm quitting today. Cold turkey."

They all stared at him. Even Kaidou.

"Quitting what?" Oshitari asked finally.

"Smoking." Akutsu said as if it were obvious.

They all stared at him some more.

"You smoke?" Atsushi said.

"NOT ANYMORE." Akutsu crossed his arms.

"Okay…" said everyone.

Team Seven  
"Guys!" Tetsu called. "Everyone! Come here for a second!"

His team didn't exactly RUN in, but they came in eventually.

"Our letter has been sitting out there for over an hour, and I think it's a little ridiculous that no one has gone out to get it yet." Tetsu said after they had gathered as he pointed at the mailbox at the end of the front walk.

The others agreed.

"So get it." Sanada told Tetsu.

"THIS was the only raincoat I could find." Said Tetsu, holding up a small pink raincoat that was meant for a child.

"So what's the problem?" Jirou asked.

Tetsu RE-showed them the raincoat.

"This will never fit me." He finally explained.

"Oh." said Inui. "Well that's not a problem. The mailbox is just down the front walk. You wouldn't be outside in the rain for TOO long."

"Oh really?" said Tetsu. "Then why don't YOU go?"

Inui just stood there with a veeeerrry good poker face.

"Point taken." Inui said.

He then took the raincoat.

"There is only one person who could fit in this." He evaluated.

Everyone looked at each other. And, as the screen panned around the circle, it showed everyone's faces but suddenly there was an empty spot. Just when the panning was going to continue, it stopped, paused, and then dropped down to Jirou standing there.

"Jirou." Renji concluded.

"Jirou." Inui agreed.

"Jirou." Said Tetsu.

"Me?" said Jirou.

"Yes. You. Jirou." Said Sanada.

"I don't want to wear that…" said Jirou, looking sad. "It's pink…"

"You'll only be wearing it for a second." Said Renji as everyone forced the tiny pink rain jacket on him. Of course, it's a fact that Jirou IS smaller than the rest of him, but one wouldn't call him "child sized". So even though he was, yes, smaller than the rest of him, the jacket didn't exactly fit him ideally…or really fit him at all. And it was pink.

"I look foolish!" whined Jirou. "I don't want to wear it anymore!"

"Well, you've already got it on so you might as well just go." Said Sanada as he opened the door and booted Jirou out.

The four of them stood at the window and chuckled warmly at Jirou as he ran down the front walk, grabbed the letter in the mailbox and then ran back to the front door.

He entered and he was very wet despite wearing the raincoat, since it had been too small to zip up and he didn't wear the hood.

"That was pointless!" announced Jirou as he ran around in circles with his arms behind him in attempt to get the coat off. He started waving his arms. "It's stuck on me! Get it off!"

Inui took the letter from Jirou without helping him and then looked at who it was addressed to. He handed it to Renji.

"Joy." Said Renji. "I won."

They all stared at him.

"YOU won?" Tetsu said. "You didn't do anything."

"All you did was pick which furniture we got, and you did a bad job at that, by the way." Sanada said crossing his arms.

"Nevertheless, Renji must redesign the families." Inui commented. "Don't forget about the data."

"Very well." Renji said. "Inui, you may be the Dad and I will be the Mom. Sanada, you will be the Pet. Tetsu, you can remain the Brother and Jirou…"

They looked over at Jirou who was all tangled up in the pink raincoat.

"You may be the Sister." Renji said.

"Aw man!" whined Jirou.

Team Eight  
Once upon a time, Team Eight (except Atobe) was watching television. They were sitting on the floor because of course they had no place else to sit, having lost the rest of their furniture in the war. But not really the war.

Then they all gave a collective sigh at the same time.

Yuuta stood up and turned the television off.

"Are you guys thinking the same thing I'm thinking?" he asked.

Jackal nodded. "I thought I would easily be able to watch television without thinking of how we wronged Atobe so…" he said.

"When in reality, that's ALL I can think of!" exclaimed Bane with a sniffle.

"Atobe just sits in his room all day!" said Shinji. "All by himself. With no one to talk to! No wonder he's so grouchy when he comes out!"

"It's time to end this horrible exclusion that we've been conducting over the last few days!" Yuuta declared. "Okay?"

"OKAY!" said everyone, including Yuuta.

They all got up and marched straight into the Parents room, which is now of course Atobe's room, and burst through the door.

Atobe was sitting comfortably in the bed reading a best selling novel and looked quite startled when everyone so suddenly imposed themselves on him.

"ATOBE!" they shouted as they ran over and practically dove on top of him.

"ARGH!" Atobe yelled as the force of their affection knocked him off the bed and they all toppled down with him.

The five of them remained where they were for a little while before Atobe finally ordered them to get up and they did. Everyone adjusted their clothing, brushed themselves off and then looked at each other.

"What is the meaning of this assault?" Atobe demanded. "I have done nothing to deserve it."

"Oh Atobe." Said Yuuta. "We're not assaulting you!"

"Oh really?" Atobe said, raising his eyebrow. "What was that then?"

"We just suddenly realized that we've been unjustly neglecting you." Bane explained.

"Therefore, we want to make it up to you." Jackal added.

"By any means possible!" finished Shinji.

"If you think that I am going to tolerate all of you waiting on me hand and foot then you are SORELY mis—" Atobe began, shaking his finger, but thankfully he stopped himself just then.

And stared at them.

They didn't flinch.

Instead, they just smiled and tried to look helpful.

"Aha." Said Atobe, putting his hand up in front of his face. "I see. It's about time you all realized your mistake and came around to see how upset I have been over being ignored."

"And we are SO sorry about that." Bane said.

"I'm sure you are." Said Atobe, crossing his arms. "Well, there are many things I need done."

"What are they?" asked Shinji.

"ANYTHING." Agreed Jackal.

"My laundry, for one." Atobe said. "Lunch. My bed sheets need to be pressed."

"YES SIR!" exclaimed everyone.

"And you," he pointed at Shinji.

"Yes?" said Shinji.

"Get a haircut." Atobe said.

Shinji gasped and his soul shattered into a thousand pieces.

The other three ran over to Shinji and hugged him.

"HOW DARE YOU!" said Bane angrily at Atobe.

"You should be ashamed of yourself!" said Jackal.

"Now we remember why we hate you!" Yuuta said. "Come on, Shinji, we don't need HIM anymore!"

They all shuffled out of the room leaving Atobe standing there with a frown.

"Oh well…" he said, sitting back on the bed and picking up his best selling novel. Then he picked up the letter he had retrieved earlier that had been addressed to him. "Oh wait, family, wait." He hardly called to them at all, but then he realized that he wasn't going to switch the family around anyway so he shrugged. "Oh well again."


	40. In Which Harmony is Established

Day Five  
Team One  
_"Attention Dad of Team One! We have wonderful news for you and your family, so be sure you are reading this loudly and clearly to them. Our final challenge has been rained out, so instead we will be meeting at the indoor tennis courts. And guess what? We will actually be playing tennis."_

Kirihara looked up from the letter as the family sat around the kitchen table, and at the astounded expressions of Mizuki, Taka and Yana. Fuji was still lying in the same spot he had fallen since no one wanted to be the one to touch him and discover that he wasn't actually sleeping, and have his hand SHOOT up and grab their wrist and then proceed to suck the life out of them. Because hey, it could happen.

"Tennis?" Mizuki said.

"Did they just say we would be playing…TENNIS?" Taka gaped.

"Impossible…" Yana shook his head.

"No, that's what it says." Said Kirihara. "_We will actually be playing tennis_. Right there."

"Well, what else does it say?" said Mizuki. "Maybe later on they'll admit that they're joking."

Kirihara cleared his throat. "_And no, we're not joking. You really will be playing tennis! We will be having an exciting tennis tournament as the challenge so two things must be done before you arrive. First off, the Dad must think of a Team Name for your family. This is crucial. Whatever the Dad declares is the name is what the name is going to be with no arguments from any other family members."_

Everyone gasped and Kirihara continued.

"_Second, you must split your team up into one doubles group and three singles. Be sure to choose wisely, and if you fail to make a decision then we will make it for you. That is all for now! Show up on time and good luck."_

Kirihara stopped.

"That's all." He said.

"OHMYGOODNESS!" exclaimed everyone.

"Could I be in the doubles group?" Yana asked. "I only play doubles."

"I will be playing singles." Said Mizuki.

"Me too." Said Kirihara. "So I don't have a problem with you playing doubles."

"Oh…" said Taka. "Well… the thing is… me and Fuji play doubles a lot. So I'm thinking it would be best if we played in the doubles match."

They all stared at him.

"You're volunteering to spend MORE time with Fuji?" questioned Mizuki.

"Well, when it comes to tennis, it's different." Said Taka, looking offended.

"But we want Fuji to play singles and get us an automatic win…" said Kirihara.

"You can play doubles with me." Said Yana.

"That's the thing…" said Taka. "I don't want to play doubles unless it's for a REASON, and that reason being Fuji and I play doubles all the time together so it makes sense for us to be in the doubles match…"

"That's not going to fly." Said Kirihara. "I'm the Dad, and I say that Fuji plays Singles 1, I play Singles 2, Mizuki plays Singles 3, and you and Yana play Doubles."

Taka lowered his head as if he did something wrong.

"Why am _I _Singles 3?" Mizuki questioned.

"Because I'm better than you." Kirihara answered. At once, everyone immediately started arguing over who would be playing where.

"Tell you what." Said a voice over them.

All of them froze and looked up to see Fuji standing right behind Taka looking totally pleasant.

"Taka and I will play Doubles," Fuji said. "Kirihara can play Singles 1, Mizuki will play Singles 2 and Yana will play Singles 3. We can afford to lose that match as long as we win all our others."

Everyone paused.

"I LIKE that idea!" said Yana.

"Yes, wonderful!" Kirihara agreed, clapping.

"Genius." Said Mizuki. Fuji only smiled.

Team Two  
"This…is…HORRIBLE!" exclaimed Gakuto as he looked at the letter.

"I know!" said Eiji. "After we've recently established that we're ALL Doubles players, now we have to force three people to play SINGLES!"

"I'll play Singles because I'm a second year after all." Choutarou offered.

"No way, Ootori." Said Marui. "You've won the most challenges out of all of us. I'LL play Singles!"

"No!" said Gakuto. "I won't let you do that! I'LL play Singles!"

"Wait, wait, wait." Said Momo. "There are three people who have to play Singles. Let's just figure out who has played Singles before and then work from there. I know I've played Singles, so I'll be in one of the matches."

"Momo, you're so reliable!" said Eiji. "I feel inspired! I will play Singles as well, since I used to before I teamed up with Oishi!"

"Oh Eiji!" said everyone else as they wiped tears from their eyes.

"I can play Singles too!" said Marui. "I've done it a few times! With my serve and volley style of play, I think I'll be all right!"

"Then it's settled." Said Momo. "Me, Eiji and Marui will play Singles, while Ootori and Gakuto will play Doubles."

"That actually makes sense too." Said Gakuto. "Because Ootori and I are on the same team, so we already know each other's style of play!"

"And I'm a baseline player while you play in the front!" said Choutarou with horseshoe eyes. "I think we'll do just fine!"

"Momo, you can take Singles 1 since you're the best at singles." Said Eiji.

"Come on, guys, you're all good at singles too!" said Momo.

"Not as good as you!" said Marui and Eiji at the same time.

"All right, I'll take Singles 1 then!" said Momo, secretly feeling very excited.

"And I'll take Singles 2?" Marui suggested to Eiji.

"Sure!" said Eiji. "I'll be Singles 3!"

They all cheered for themselves.

Then there was a pause.

"Hm…" said Marui, looking back at the letter. "I still have to think up a Team Name for us… any suggestions?"

"How about 'Doubles Rock'!" suggested Eiji.

"No, because then it looks like we're rubbing the fact that we're lucky enough to love and appreciate and play doubles in people's faces who are unfortunate enough to only play singles." Said Marui.

"And it also might look like we only have faith in our doubles team, when in fact we have faith in EVERYONE." Said Choutarou.

They all pondered some more.

"We should think of something that is team oriented, since we're so connected as a team." Suggested Momo.

"Yeah!" agreed the others. "But what?"

They pondered some more.

"I've got it!" said Eiji, jumping to his feet and turning to Momo. "Remember that time when we were playing against Hyoutei and—"

"HYOUTEI!" yelled Choutarou and Gakuto as they threw their fists up into the air but then they calmly sat back down and gestured for Eiji to continue.

Eiji glared at them for a moment, then looked back at Momo. "Okay, and so remember how Oishi got injured and you had to play doubles with me?" he asked.

"…Yeah?" Momo said.

"Remember how we were like… playing doubles with three people?" Eiji said.

"Yeah!" said Momo. "That's a great idea!"

"Except…" Marui slowly got to his feet. "…We're…"

This time, EVERYONE threw their fists up into the air.

"PLAYING DOUBLES WITH FIVE PEOPLE!" they yelled.

Then they all turned on the radio and had another dance party because they were so excited that they now had a Team Name. Even though it was stupid. THEY thought it was cool.

Team Three  
"I have called this family meeting for a few reasons." Said Tezuka said as he sat in one of the comfy chairs and everyone else in the family sat around in various other chairs. Wherever they wanted, really, cause they had so many chairs and places to sit and such. 

"Can we get it over with fast?" Aoi requested. "Beast Wars in on in just a few minutes."

"Sh." Said Tezuka. "No. Listen to me."

"All right." Said Tachibana. "We're listening. Hurry up."

Tezuka looked crossly at his family as they all generally followed up with a similar statement.

"Very well." He said, crossing his legs. "The letter I received. It mentioned very promising things about the upcoming challenge."

Everyone looked less than interested.

"Concerning…" Tezuka said slowly.

Still, less than interested.

"…Tennis." Tezuka said finally.

"TENNIS? WHERE?" everyone shouted, sitting straight up in their seats.

"We will be playing tennis today." Said Tezuka. "And it is my job to assign us a Team Name and our job as a family to establish who will play when. There will be one doubles match and three singles matches."

"Well obviously." Said Tachibana. "You, me and Aoi will play the singles matches and David and Kabaji will be playing the doubles match."

"What?" demanded David. "Why?"

"Because." Said Tezuka. "We're captains."

"What does that have to do with anything?" said David.

"Captains _don't play doubles_." Aoi answered.

"It's true." Tachibana agreed.

David raised his eyebrow and shrugged. "Well, whatever." He said. "I usually play doubles anyway."

"Then what were you arguing for?" said Tachibana.

"Because I wanted to know you're reasoning for why it was OBVIOUS that you three would be playing singles." David shrugged.

"Well…shut up now." Said Tezuka arbitrarily.

David frowned and looked sad as the next thing on the agenda was addressed.

"Team Name." Tezuka said. "I have thought long and hard for a sufficient Team Name for us. And I have finally decided."

"Wait." Said Tachibana. "Why do you get to pick the Team Name?"

Tezuka sighed and handed Tachibana the letter. Tachibana read it and then handed it back to him with a sigh.

"Okay, okay." He said. "What's your idea?"

"It's not just an IDEA." Said Tezuka. "It is what I have decided upon."

"What is it then?" Aoi asked.

"Considering we are, for the most part, captains of our appointed tennis teams, one could consider us as the pillars for our teams." Said Tezuka. "Therefore, I have decided that our Team Name will be Pillars."

"The Pillars?" repeated Tachibana with a raised eyebrow.

"No." said Tezuka. "Not _The _Pillars. Just Pillars."

"That's lame…" whined everyone else.

"Twenty laps around the house." Tezuka ordered. "Now. Right now."

"But…" said everyone.

"Now." Said Tezuka as he stood up and pointed at the door.

Aoi leaned over to Tachibana. "Let's just go outside and do something else so he'll leave us alone." He whispered.

"Okay." Said Tachibana, gesturing for Kabaji (yes, he was there the whole time) and David to follow him.

Tezuka glared at them as they left and then sat down.

"It is NOT lame." He said to himself after they had left.

Team Four  
Sakurai, Ryoma, Yukimura and Saeki were all sitting in the living room. 

"Do you think Hiyoshi's thought up a Team Name for us yet?" questioned Sakurai.

"Well, if he did, I would hope that he'd come out and tell us." Yukimura said.

There was a long pause.

"Hiyoshi's been in the bathroom for a long time." Ryoma commented.

Everyone stared at him.

"Hiyoshi's not in the bathroom." Saeki said.

"He's not?" said Ryoma.

"No." said Saeki. "He went into the other room a little while ago because he said he needed some quiet time to think about what he was going to give us as our Team Name."

Ryoma didn't say anything for a bit.

"Oh." he said. "I get it."

"While we're waiting, we should just hurry up and pick who will be playing where during the matches." Sakurai suggested.

"Well, I know I only play doubles." Saeki said.

"Me too." Said Sakurai.

They waited for anyone to interject with a similar comment.

"Well, I guess that at least settles THAT part." Said Yukimura. "I suppose that leaves Ryoma, Hiyoshi and I to play the singles matches. I don't have a preference which one I play in because I'll likely end up forfeiting because of my poor health anyway."

Yukimura continued to smile.

"In that case, I'll play Singles 1." Ryoma decided.

"Okay." Said Yukimura. "I'll play Singles 2 then."

"And Hiyoshi will play Singles 3." Evaluated Sakurai.

"It fits him since he's the reserve player for his team anyway." Saeki noted.

They all chuckled at this as Hiyoshi walked back in.

"Hey," he said.

"Hey." Said everyone.

"I uh…" said Hiyoshi. "I can't think of a name for our team. A little help?"

"How about the Princes of Tennis?" suggested Saeki, looking very proud of himself.

"No." said Ryoma. "That is SO just my thing."

"Oh." said Saeki.

"But we can be the _Prince _of Tennis." Said Ryoma. "As in the singular form. As in referring to only me."

"But then our Team Name will only refer to you." Sakurai pointed out.

"Fine." Said Ryoma with a shrug. "The Prince of Tennis… and Friends."

"Aww…" said everyone, glad that he referred to them as friends as opposed to acquaintances.

"Fine." Said Hiyoshi. "The Prince of Tennis and Friends. That's our name."

He sat down.

Everyone considered this new name.

"Wait…" said Saeki. "All that name does is glorify Ryoma and then hardly mention us."

They stared at him questioningly.

"Hey wait." Said Hiyoshi. "You're right."

"Hm…" said Yukimura.

They silently sat there some more.

"Do you guys really care all that much?" Ryoma asked.

"No…not really…" they answered.

So they shrugged and went back to watching television.


	41. In Which There is a Hint of Tennis

Team Five  
"Seriously," Oishi said. "The only time I ever play singles is when we're doing ranking matches on my team and it is definitely not one of my strong points."

"Well, we're kind of screwed right now." Said Sengoku. "Because there's no way Shishido's gonna be better for the matches so we have to put him in doubles so someone else can compensate for him. And Itsuki called it first."

"I did." Said Itsuki. "I DID call it first."

"Well that's just silly." Said Oishi. "Because there is no way we'll be able to win a doubles match as two against one. It just doesn't work."

"We don't want to have to automatically forfeit a match, though." Said Kamio. "And that's what'll happen unless we take our chances that hopefully we'll play against a doubles team that is just as pathetic and losery as ours."

"But it would be better to do this." Said Oishi, laying out the game plan. "Itsuki and I play doubles. Kamio and Sengoku, you two play Singles 2 and Singles 3."

"Wait." Said Sengoku. "That leaves SHISHIDO with Singles 1."

"Not only is Shishido a doubles player," Kamio started. "But he's sick AND he's definitely not good enough to play Singles 1."

"No, listen." Oishi said. "All we have to do is make sure we win all our matches and it'll work out."

Sengoku raised a finger to argue, and then stopped.

"That…makes sense…" he admitted. "If we all win our own matches then Shishido won't even have to play!"

"Right," said Oishi. "Because we'll have won three out of four so there would be no need to go to the last match."

"BRILLIANT!" everyone shouted.

"All right!" said Itsuki. "Where did you think up such a great plan?"

"Right here." Said Oishi, looking a little confused.

"Oh." said Itsuki.

"All right, now that THAT'S out of the way, let's figure out what our Team Name is going to be." Sengoku said.

"Well, I've been thinking about it, guys." Said Kamio. "And I've narrowed it down to my top four choices. The first one is 'Tachibana is the Coolest'."

The others stared at him.

"Ehh…no, what are the other choices?" Itsuki requested.

"Okay, the second one is 'Fudomine Will Win Nationals'." Kamio went on.

"No good." Said Sengoku. "We don't want to lie to people. What else do you have?"

"Uh…" Kamio thought for a moment. "Oh yeah. 'Tachibana is the Best Thing That Ever Happened to Fudomine'."

"Do you have anything that doesn't involve Tachibana or Fudomine in the title?" Oishi asked, trying to sound pleasant.

"Yeah, the last choice." Kamio said with a nod.

They all waited.

"Well?" Sengoku led.

"I'm thinking… 'The Rhythm'." Kamio said. "Cause that way, when I'm playing tennis, I can say 'I'm in the rhythm' and it'll have two meanings. Cause I'll actually be in the rhythm AND I'm physically on the team called The Rhythm."

"Well…" Oishi said slowly. "Up next to 'Tachibana is the Coolest' and 'Fudomine Will Win Nationals' and 'Tachibana is the Best Thing That Ever Happened to Fudomine'…"

"I guess that's it." Sengoku said. "The Rhythm. That's our Team Name."

"I kind of thought you guys would like that one." Kamio said. Legit.

"Does it have to be that?" Itsuki asked. "Can't we brainstorm for a little while longer?"

"No." said Kamio. "We've decided! That's our Team Name! And if you don't like it then we'll just have to be Tachibana is the Best Thing That Ever Happened to Fudomine!"

"I'm liking The Rhythm more and more with every passing moment." Sengoku commented.

Team Six  
"I REFUSE to play Doubles with my brother." Said Ryou, crossing his arms childishly as everyone sat in the chairs that used to surround the kitchen table, but the table had since been destroyed thus is was no more. 

But don't worry, Ryou wasn't the ONLY one being incredibly petty. Atsushi was right along with him while they scoffed like silly people.

"Well, you're just going to have to deal with it." Said Oshitari. "There's no other way to do it."

"Can't YOU play doubles with him?" demanded the two of them as they pointed at each other.

"Yes, technically I could." Oshitari nodded. "But let's think. The two of you only play doubles. Kaidou and myself COULD play doubles, but we also play singles. Akutsu doesn't really play tennis at all, but he's willing to play singles as well."

"But that's it." Said Akutsu.

"So there." Said Oshitari. "The only people who don't play singles are the two of you. Therefore, you will be together in the doubles match."

"BUT WE DON'T WANT TO!" they both complained.

"You'll play doubles AND LIKE IT!" Oshitari said, randomly losing his temper as he stood up and slapped them both around for a little while.

When he was finished, he took a deep breath, calmly sat down and adjusted his glasses.

Then he noticed that both Kaidou and Akutsu looked like they were ABOUT to get up and do what he had just did, but slowly they lowered into their seats as well, not taking their eyes off him.

"Sorry." Said Oshitari to Atsushi and Ryou who were both sniffling and caressing their wounds. "I…don't know what came over me."

There was silence in the house.

"So…" Oshitari tried to keep the conversation going, but everyone as a collective scooted away from him. "Now that we've established the doubles players, does anyone have a preference of which Singles match they want to play?"

"Not really." Said Kaidou and Akutsu.

"Very well." Said Oshitari with a frown. "Kaidou, you play Singles 1. Akutsu, Singles 2. And I'll play Singles 3."

"Why are you assigning yourself the worst place?" Kaidou inquired.

"Because I don't feel like going all out." Oshitari answered. "And it's likely that everyone in Singles 1 from the other teams will be very good, and it is even more likely that the people from Singles 3 from the other teams will be bad."

"Okay, fair enough." Kaidou nodded.

More silence.

"Team Name?" Akutsu said finally, looking at Kaidou.

"Kaidou's Korner?" Ryou said sarcastically.

"Shut up!" Kaidou ordered with an angry hiss. "You're just jealous!"

"Well, you have to think of a name for our team because you're the Dad." Said Atsushi. "So hurry up and think of something!"

"And make sure it's good." Said Akutsu. "Everyone else is going to come to know us by this name."

"And it will be annoying if they announce it and it sounds stupid." Oshitari added.

"Way to put pressure on me!" said Kaidou. "I can't think of anything! You guys have to help!"

"Why do WE have to help?" said Ryou.

"Because!" said Kaidou. "You guys are the ones who are so obsessed with it being good."

"Just think of something you know and other people can relate to." Said Oshitari.

"But make sure it's not dumb." Akutsu leaned in.

Kaidou crossed his arms. "Fine." He said. "We'll just be the Snakes."

"The Snakes?" yelled Atsushi. "That's dumb! We said NOT dumb!"

"WE'LL TOO BAD!" said Kaidou. "WE'LL BE THE SNAKES AND YOU'LL LIKE IT!" With that, he grabbed Atsushi AND Ryou and slapped them around a bit.

"Hey!" said Ryou. "I didn't do anything this time!"

"Sorry." Said Kaidou. "You were both standing next to each other. I couldn't help it."

Team Seven  
"Okay, he's coming back." Sanada said, looking out the window as Jirou came running up the front walk in the same pink raincoat. Renji opened the door and Jirou flailed his way inside with another letter in his hand. 

"Why did I agree to do that again?" demanded Jirou as he struggled to take the jacket off.

Inui grabbed the jacket and easily took it off him, then dropped it on the floor. "Because Tetsu is setting up your disco ball."

"Oh yeah!" said Jirou excitedly.

Everyone went into the Disco Ball Room where Tetsu was just standing in the middle of the floor with the second disco ball.

"I don't know how to do this." Tetsu confessed.

"Whatever." Said Inui as he opened up the letter and read it aloud.

Everyone had their various reactions that included, but are not limited to, "OMGTENNIS!" and "NO EFFIN WAY!" and "WTF?" and "TENNISROXMAHSOX!"

Seriously. They said that. THEM.

"All right." Said Renji, sitting down on the couch. "We shall sort out who will play in which matches in a calm, cool and collected fashion."

"Why would we discuss it any way else?" Sanada sat down as well.

They all sat down.

"Don't sit down, Jirou." Said Inui.

"Why?" said Jirou.

"You're all wet." Inui answered. "Get a towel and then sit down."

"Aww…" said Jirou as he retreated into the bathroom.

"Well, I only really play doubles." Said Tetsu to Inui. "So if I could just be in a doubles match then I'd be ALL SET."

He looked at each of the faces of his compadres.

"What?" he said.

Inui adjusted his glasses. "Renji and I will be playing the doubles match."

"What?" demanded Tetsu. "Why?"

"Perhaps you didn't know but Renji and I are childhood friends that used to play doubles together all the time." Inui answered.

"And we have collected a ridiculous amount of data on each other." Renji added. "So there are no two people in the world who would be more suited to understand his partner's style of tennis."

They slapped each other five.

"So where does that leave me?" Tetsu whined.

"Singles 3." Said Inui, opening his data book.

"I don't play singles…" Tetsu said.

"Well, you must make an exception." Renji said. "Because the most compatible pair for doubles is Inui and I."

"Yes, we've established that." Sanada said. "Does it matter whether I play Singles 1 or 2?"

"It does." Inui said. "You will play Singles 1 and Jirou will play Singles 2."

"What's your reasoning for that one?" Jirou asked as he entered the room with a towel.

"Just trust me." Said Inui.

"And what of a Team Name?" Sanada asked.

"Need you even to ask?" Inui said.

Sanada, Tetsu and Jirou all looked at each other. Renji just sat there with this face that said, "Oh yeah. I know what it is." And Inui just sat there with this face that just said, "ii data."

"Ohhh…" said Sanada, Tetsu and Jirou.

Team Eight  
"Team Eight!" called Yuuta as he ran through the house. "Team Eight AKA The Team That Is Better Than Shuusuke's Team! Everyone!" 

He stopped and looked around, and found that he was in the living room and everyone, including Atobe, was watching television instead of paying attention to him.

"Hello?" he said, looking sad that everyone was ignoring him.

"Oh." said everyone, turning vaguely to look at him. "Hi."

"Hi." Said Yuuta as he marched over and turned the television off.

The response was sort of just a collective moan.

"I just want you all to know that I have thought of a Team Name for us." Yuuta reported.

"Let me guess." Said Bane. "The Team That Is Better Than Fuji's Team?"

"No." said Yuuta. "That's wrong. That doesn't make sense because I'M Fuji as well."

"Oh yeah." Said Bane.

"Our Team Name is…" Yuuta paused for dramatic effect. "The Team That Is Better Than Shuusuke's Team!"

"Ahaaaa…" said everyone.

"And how is that different from what I just said?" Bane asked.

"BECAUSE." Said Yuuta. "It wouldn't make sense if our team was called The Team That Is Better Than Fuji's Team because I'M Fuji too so we can't be better than OURSELVES."

"You know," said Shinji. "No offense or anything, but I don't think anyone would think that we were referring to YOU."

Yuuta's mouth dropped to the floor.

"Sorry." Said Shinji. "That was supposed to be in my head."

"I agree." Atobe said. "When I think of Fuji, I think only of your older brother and certainly not of you."

"I'm the same." Said Jackal. "I never even considered the fact that you guys were even brothers because he is on a COMPLETELY different level than—"

"ALL RIGHT ALL RIGHT." Said Yuuta. "You've all made your point! Jeez! But, despite all that, we're STILL going to be the Team That Is Better Than Shuusuke's Team."

"Why don't we make that an acronym?" suggested Bane. He paused and considered it. "TTTIBTST."

"That sounds like that noise you make when you put your tongue here and just go nuts with it." Said Shinji as he blew a raspberry.

Then everyone slowly turned around and looked at him.

"Whoa." Said Yuuta. "That sounded SO wrong."

"I know." Said Shinji. "If I had thought about that in my head before I said it then I wouldn't have said it."

"Kind of like that hurtful comment you made to me?" Yuuta whimpered.

"Yeah." Said Shinji. "But I probably would have ended up saying it anyway."

Atobe then stood up.

"I don't think we need to talk about the lineup." He announced. "Considering we have already discussed it earlier in the week. I will be playing Singles 1, and you all are doing whatever it is you do."

"Singles 2." Yuuta sighed.

"Singles 3." Shinji said.

"Doubles." Said Bane and Jackal at the same time.

Then they sat (or in Atobe's case, stood) in silence for a little while.

"Okay, we can turn the television back on again." Said Yuuta as he pressed the button and then jumped into an empty spot. They spent time watching the Ridiculous Chicken until it was time to go to the tennis match. Which was… OMFG! Right now!


	42. In Which There Might Be Tennis?

Day Five  
The Fifth Competition  
"The rules are simple." Said Ryuuzaki. "Whichever team wins the most matches wins, and moves onto the next round of the tournament." 

"Are these full length matches?" asked no one in particular. YOUR favorite character, I suppose. Assuming he is present.

"No." said Sakaki. "Three game matches. Just to keep everything short and so you don't get fatigued because we want to finish this sometime this century."

"Wait." Said Inui, raising his hand. "One doubles match and three singles matches constitute four matches total. Suppose each team wins two matches. What is the tiebreaker?"

"I'm glad you asked." Said Banji. "The tiebreaker is as follows. Each team chooses one of their players to step forth, and we will give them a task. Whoever completes the task first will win."

"Does the task involve tennis?" inquired Gakuto.

"Um…no." Banji admitted.

"Aww…" said everyone.

"But what are you all whining about?" demanded Ojii. "We're playing tennis right now in case you haven't noticed!"

"He's got a good point." Sengoku commented.

"All right," said Ryuuzaki as she pulled out an empty tournament bracket thingermajig. "Everyone send their Pet down to pick the numbers out of this hat so we can start."

The Pets did the aforementioned command and each took a paper from the hat.

"So, whichever team as the number one please raise your hand and tell me your team number and your Team Name!" said Ryuuzaki, opening up her marker.

Yana raised his hand. "My team as number one!" he said. "We are Team One and our Team Name is SHATS."

"SHA—" Ryuuzaki started to write but then she stopped and whipped around. "It's WHAT?"

"SHATS." Said Yana.

"Do you know what that means?" said Eiji since he happened to be standing next to Yana.

"Yeah." Said Yana. "It's an acronym. It's all of our first initials arranged in such a way so we can pronounce it."

No one said anything.

"What?" said Yana. "We couldn't use our LAST NAMES because then there wouldn't be any vowels…"

"Okay…" said Ryuuzaki. "SHATS, it is then…"

She hesitantly finished writing that down.

"Oh wait, I get it!" said Taka. He looked at the rest of his team. "Why didn't we notice that?"

They all slapped their foreheads.

"Anyway." Said Ryuuzaki. "Who has the two?"

"Here!" said Saeki. "We are Team Four and our Team Name is The Prince of Tennis and Friends."

Ryuuzaki paused once again and looked at them. "Come on." She said. "What is it really?"

"That's really what it is." Droned the rest of the team.

"We wanted you guys to think up GOOD names." Ryuuzaki rolled her eyes and turned around to write 'The Prince of Tennis and Friends' in the number two bracket. "So… our first matches will be between SHATS and The Prince of Tennis and Friends."

EVERYONE slapped their foreheads.

"Let's continue…" Ryuuzaki sighed. "Who has the three?"

"Team Three!" Tachibana raised his hand. "Our Team Name is Pillars."

"All right." Said Ryuuzaki. "It seems totally random, but at least it's not WEIRD." She turned around and wrote _The Pillars _in the third slot.

Tezuka cleared his throat, which caused the world to come to a stop.

"Yes, Tezuka?" Ryuuzaki asked.

"It's not THE Pillars." He said. "It's just Pillars."

Ryuuzaki stared at him and waited.

"As in without 'the' at the beginning." Tezuka clarified.

"…Fine." Said Ryuuzaki as she crossed out 'the'. "Happy?"

"Mildly." Tezuka responded. "Close to it. But not so much."

Ryuuzaki knew that there was no way to please Tezuka so she just decided to move on. "Whose got the four?" she asked.

"TEAM SIX." Said Akutsu in the most commanding tone EVER.

Everyone paused.

"Okay…" said Ryuuzaki. "And…what's your Team Name?"

"The Snakes." Said Akutsu.

"Got it." Said Ryuuzaki. "Now, is that with or without 'the' at the beginning?"

"WITH." Said the whole team.

"Okay." Ryuuzaki said. "So our second groups of matches will be between Pillars and The Snakes."

"This is going to be so much fun." Said Sakaki randomly.

"I know." Said Banji. "All of our teams playing with each other and against their own teammates…what else could be better?"

"Oh…nothing." Said Ojii.

"Who has the five?" Ryuuzaki asked.

"Team Five!" said Oishi. "Our Team Name is The Rhythm."

"With a 'The' at the beginning?" Ryuuzaki said.

"Um…I don't think it matters." Oishi said.

"It DOES matter!" Kamio interrupted. "It is THE Rhythm. Very important. You can't just be 'in rhythm'."

"That's a good point." Said Ryuuzaki. "You CAN'T be."

"Can you even be 'in THE rhythm?" questioned Sengoku. "Isn't that something you made up?"

"No!" said Kamio, crossing his arms.

"Whatever!" said Ryuuzaki. "Next! Who has six?"

"My team." Atobe barely raised his hand. "We are Team Eight, and our Team Name is The Team That Is Better Than Shuusuke's Team."

Team One gasped and looked SO much more offended than they should have.

Except for Fuji. He looked SUPER happy.

"Oh Yuuta." He said lovingly.

"All right…I'm just going to shorten that to the first letter of each word…" Ryuuzaki said.

"No, don't do that." Said Shinji. "We won't be able to take ourselves seriously."

"It's true." The team agreed.

Ryuuzaki gave an exasperated sigh and wrote out the ENTIRE sentence.

"Okay, so…" Ryuuzaki said. "The THIRD set of matches will be between The Rhythm versus The Team That Is Better Than Shuusuke's Team."

Those two teams glared at each other.

"Let's finish up this list so we can start the actual tennis." Said Ryuuzaki. "Who's seven?"

"That is us." Said Sanada. "Team Seven. And our Team Name is ii Data."

"How do you spell that?" Ryuuzaki questioned.

"Lowercase i, lowercase i, space, capital d, lowercase a, lowercase t, lowercase a." Inui spelled.

"Okay." Said Ryuuzaki. "That makes TONS of sense."

"It does." Said Inui. "If you're ME."

"And last but not least…" Ryuuzaki looked around. "Number eight?"

"Us!" said Eiji, jumping up and down. "Team Two!"

"And what's your Team Name?" Ryuuzaki asked.

"We are…" Eiji said excitedly. "Playing Doubles With Five People!"

The teachers paused.

"Well, no," said Sakaki. "That's against the rules. You have to play doubles with TWO people, hence the name."

"No, no." chuckled Eiji. "That's our TEAM NAME! Playing Doubles With Five People! Because there are five people on our team and we all play doubles!"

Everyone's eyebrows raised so fast it actually made a collective noise and a new sound effect had to be created for the sound of eyebrows being raised by a mass of people.

"Playing Doubles With Five People…" said Ryuuzaki with a cautious nod. "Okay… I got it…" She wrote it down. "All right people. The final match will be between ii Data and Playing Doubles With Five People."

"Wowzers this will be interesting." Said Banji.

"Do you suppose they all went crazy in those little houses?" Ojii whispered.


	43. In Which SHATS vs PoT and Friends

Round One  
SHATS vs The Prince of Tennis and Friends  
"The first match is the doubles match." Said Sakaki as he sat in the referee's chair. "Best of three games. Fuji and Taka versus Saeki and Sakurai!" 

The pairs stood at the net on either side.

"Good luck." Said Saeki, extending a hand.

"Thank you!" said Taka, taking his hand. "You too!"

Sakurai extended a hand for Fuji, but Fuji only stood there looking happy.

"…" faltered Sakurai.

Each team retreated to their own baselines.

"Just so you know," said Sakaki. "We're kind of making up our own rules because we're only playing three games in each round. So, instead of the usual service rules, it will be played as such. Each team must choose the person they wish to serve for them, and then the other team does so as well for the next game. If we need the third game, then the people who didn't serve in the previous games will alternate serving, just so it's fair."

Everyone stared at him with question marks above their heads.

"Okay, look." Said Sakaki. "I'll lead you through it for the first game and then you all have to figure it out on your own. SHATS is serving first, so between Taka and Fuji, who do you want to serve?"

"I'll let Fuji do it." Taka said, tossing the ball to Fuji.

Fuji caught it and then turned to Saeki and Sakurai.

"Okay." He said.

Sakaki motioned for them to commence their tennising, and they did.

And, needless to say, Fuji schooled everyone while he was serving. Saeki and Sakurai just stood there and were owned. Completely owned.

"1-0!" announced Sakaki. "That went quick! Now, between Sakurai and Saeki, who do you want to serve?"

"Um…you can do it." Said Sakurai randomly as he gave Saeki the ball.

"All right!" said Saeki.

"Wait, switch sides first." Sakaki said.

"Oh right!" chuckled everyone. It had been a while since they had played tennis after all. It's been like four days.

They switched sides, but only after stopping by their benches.

Fuji looked at Taka.

"Taka, let's let this go into the third game so we know what's going on with our coach's random rules." He suggested.

"Are you sure you want to do that?" Taka asked nervously. "I mean… what if we end up losing the third game?"

Fuji only blinked.

"You're right." Said Taka. "Never mind!"

"Thank you, Taka." Fuji smiled.

They took to the court again where Sakurai and Saeki were already waiting.

It was quite obvious to everyone that Taka and Fuji threw the game and allowed the serves to get by them. In fact, you'd have to be an idiot not to know they threw the game because they just stood there and watched the ball go by them. It's not like Saeki had mad awesome serves so that ALL THEY COULD DO was watch the ball go by them, but they seriously were just like…

Watching the ball go by them…

"Um…okay…" said Sakaki after the round was over. "The score is 1-1! So, Taka will serve the first ball, then Sakurai will serve the next one, then Taka, then Sakurai."

"Oh, I understand." Said Fuji. "Taka, we didn't even have to throw the game."

"So you DID throw it!" said Saeki angrily. "HOW DARE YOU!"

"I thought it was obvious." Said Fuji.

"It was!" said Saeki. "But how dare you still!"

"SHATS serve!" said Sakaki.

Taka threw the ball up into the air and followed through beautifully. "BURNING!" he shouted.

It was glorious.

"15-0!" said Sakaki.

"Wonderful follow through, Taka." Said Fuji.

"Thanks!" said Taka.

Sakurai picked up the ball and looked nervously at Saeki.

"You know," he said. "I don't think we're going to win this one."

"Yeah… probably not." Saeki agreed.

Sakurai, his spirits low and his morale even lower, served the ball, and it was quickly returned. Saeki, who also had quite low spirits, failed at returning it again.

"30-0!" Sakaki said.

"I feel like not playing anymore." Sakurai frowned.

"SHATS serve." Said Sakaki.

"BURNING!" Taka yelled, and the ball burned right by Team Prince of Tennis and Friends.

"Game point!" said Sakaki. Then he paused. "Well, actually. If SHATS scores this point then they win their doubles match. So go ahead, Prince of Tennis and Friends."

Sakurai and Saeki looked at Sakaki with sad expressions. Then they lamely served the ball, it was easily returned and they didn't even bother to retrieve it.

"GAME SET AND MATCH!" yelled SAKAKI.

"HOO-_RAH_!" chanted SHATS.

"Nice job not trying at all." Said Ryoma to Saeki and Sakurai.

"Shut up!" they said angrily.

"Let's move right along to the Singles 3 match!" said Sakaki. "Yana versus Hiyoshi!"

"Go Yana!" cheered SHATS.

"If we win this game and I'll certainly win mine then you won't even have to play, Kirihara." Said Mizuki.

"I WANT to play." Said Kirihara begrudgingly.

"We have to win all of the leftover matches to win." Said Yukimura to Ryoma. "We'll tie if we lose one. And we'll lose if we lose two."

"I just want to get a chance to play too." Said Ryoma.

"GAME SET AND MATCH!"

Everyone looked up and realized they had missed the entire match.

"Aw man…" said Yana as he trudged back to his team's bench.

"What?" said Mizuki. "You already lost?"

"…Yeah…" Yana said as they looked over at the Prince of Tennis and Friends all doing a ritualistic victory dance with Hiyoshi as the center of attention.

"Whoa." Said Kirihara. "I didn't even notice you changed courts."

"I'm still drinking out of my water bottle." Taka said.

"I saw it." Said Fuji.

"Great…" Yana frowned.

"Let's start the next match!" Sakaki said. "Mizuki from SHATS versus Yukimura from The Prince of Tennis and Friends!"

"Come on, Yukimura!" said Sakurai. "You'll be fine!"

"Yeah, no problem!" said Saeki. "Mizuki's a pushover!"

"Definitely." Said Ryoma.

"Beat him in five minutes." Hiyoshi urged.

Then they all looked at Yukimura as a trickle of blood fell from the side of his mouth, and then he did a face plant into the ground in front of him.

Sanada's Yukimura senses started tingling, and he immediately ran to his teammate's side. Thankfully, The Prince of Tennis and Friends managed to jump out of the way before they were launched into space again as Sanada caressed Yukimura's limp body and yelled for someone to call an ambulance.

"Well, he called that, didn't he?" said Ryoma to the rest of the team.

"He did." They agreed, nodding.

"All right…" said Sakaki as the ambulance drove away. "I guess we can safely assume that that match has been forfeited."

"But I wanted to play tennis…" complained Mizuki.

"HA!" said Kirihara with a laugh. "How ironic! I'm laughing! HA HA! Look at me, I'm laughing!"

"Shut up!" said Mizuki.

"The final match is between Kirihara from SHATS and Ryoma from The Prince of Tennis and Friends." Sakaki announced.

"No pressure or anything, Ryoma, but if you lose this match then we're out of the tournament." Said Saeki.

"Did you forget who I am?" Ryoma said.

"Oh yeah." Said Saeki. "You're the Prince of Tennis."

"Damn straight, HOLLER." Said Ryoma as he grabbed his racket and walked to the courts.

The match began and it was SO intense. For a while, no one could keep their eyes off the match because it was all… a REMATCH and crap. But then everyone started to get bored.

SO bored, in fact, that they went off to the ice cream man that had just pulled up outside. WHAT the ice cream man was doing driving around in the pouring rain is beyond me, but he certainly got business when approximately forty people came stampeding out of the building and all requested their own delectable treat, like the Choco Taco and other various delicious things.

Whence they re-entered, they discovered that the match was over and both Ryoma and Kirihara had collapsed on the courts.

Sakaki's stance suggested HE had just played tennis too.

"How did you all leave in the middle of such an intense match?" he yelled.

"Who won?" asked Taka.

"Winner…The Prince of Tennis and Friends!" said Sakaki.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" yelled Kirihara dramatically as he writhed around on the ground.

"You know what this means, don't you?" said Sakaki.

"TIE BREAKER!" yelled everyone as they threw confetti up in the air.

"Select who will be doing the tiebreaker for your team." Sakaki said. "And only after you have selected someone will we tell you what the event is."

The teams went into huddles.

"I say we pick Ryoma." Said Saeki to what remained of his team.

"Yes." They all agreed.

Then they paused.

"Good huddle, guys." Saeki commented.

"Yeah, good huddle." They all agreed.

Then they got out of their huddle and looked over at SHATS who were still in their huddle.

"Yeah…so how about Fuji?" Kirihara suggested.

"I'm down with that." Said everyone else.

"Okay." Said Fuji with a pleasant smile. "I hope I don't mess anything up."

"Don't worry, Fuji!" said Taka. "We believe in you."

"Oh, thank you Taka." Said Fuji.

The huddle broke after that, and both the teams faced each other to discover that the coaches had set up two chairs facing each other with only about a foot of space between them.

"Please, have your representative step forward and take a seat for…" Sakaki led. "A STARING contest!"

Everyone gasped.

Ryoma took a step forward and got into the seat. Everyone on the other team did not move.

"_Please not Fuji please not Fuji please not Fuji OH NO MOTHER FU—" _Ryoma thought just as Fuji stepped forward and took the empty seat.

"To make things easy." Said Sakaki. "The first one to blink loses. Ready?"

Ryoma loosened his collar.

"Set…?"

Fuji sat up straight and crossed his legs.

"GO!"

Fuji's eyes shot open and he became Scary Creepy Fuji once again.

"AH!" Ryoma yelled as he fell over backwards in his chair, throwing his hands over his eyes. "My eyes! They BURN!"

"WINNER!" Sakaki pointed at Fuji.

Fuji triumphantly stood as his team ran over to hoist him up over their heads and carry him off, but only ended up giving him a friendly handshake.

"So," Sakaki said. "The Prince of Tennis and Friends has been eliminated from the Tournament! And whoever wins in the match between Pillars and The Snakes will play against SHATS in the next round!"

"WOOOO!" said everyone.

"Speaking of Pillars and The Snakes, let's get that round started!" said Banji as he jumped up in the referee's chair.


	44. In Which Pillars vs The Snakes

Pillars vs The Snakes  
"The first match is the doubles match, just like in the previous round." Banji announced. "This match is between Atsushi and Ryou from The Snakes and David and Kabaji from Pillars. "Remember our made up rules concerning serving." 

"Why can't we just do NORMAL serving?" asked Atsushi.

"Because this is the way we decided to do it and YOU'LL LIKE IT!" Banji yelled.

The twins both dodged out of the way as if Banji had made a dive for them, but that had been the third time they heard someone say that, and the previous two times the statement had been followed up with a beating. So they decided to be safe, even though they just ended up looking foolish because obviously Banji wasn't going to beat on them.

"Do you think we'll win?" David asked his three captains who all thought they were entitled to sitting on the captain's bench.

"Yes." Said Tezuka.

"Probably." Tachibana added.

"Probably NOT." Said Aoi.

"What makes you say that?" asked Tachibana.

"Well, think about it." Aoi said. "David and Kabaji have NEVER played tennis together and now we're just throwing them out there to play against Ryou and his twin brother, which means they've played tennis together tons of times and know how to play with each other."

David frowned at his captain. "You know, a pessimist's blood type is ALWAYS B-negative." He said.

Aoi stared at David.

Everyone on his team stared at David. Even Kabaji,

Just when they were going to harm him for being annoying, Bane came out of nowhere and did the job for them.

"I've missed doing that." Bane said as he stomped off.

"Great, now I definitely feel motivated to play well…" David sniffled as he put an ice cube on his new fat lip.

"Just shut up and play tennis!" Tachibana ordered as he booted David onto the courts. Even though he usually strives to befriend and inspire those younger than him, David was just too annoying for him to even bother anymore.

"Do you really think that those two will lose?" Tezuka asked Aoi.

Aoi shrugged. "Atsushi used to be on our team too." Aoi said. "But I was never there when he was. But I ASSUME they play well together. Since they're twins and all."

"Oh." said Tezuka.

"Let's get this over with." Said Ryou with a glare at Atsushi.

"My thoughts exactly!" Atsushi said JUST as angrily.

"I'LL play in the front." They both said at the same time.

Then they glared.

"Fine, I'll play in the back then." They both said again.

With that, they both became frustrated and started snarling at each other.

David and Kabaji were only staring at them like fool children as Banji tried to get their attention.

"Pillars?" said Banji to David and Kabaji. "Who will serve first?"

David and Kabaji looked at each other.

"Um…" David shrugged. "I don't know. Do you have a special serve or anything?"

Kabaji paused and looked over at the feuding brothers.

"Not yet." He said.

"Okay so I guess I'll serve." Said David.

Banji tossed him the ball.

And David served like a normal person.

"I feel so rusty!" said Ryou as he went up and returned the ball.

"Me too!" David agreed as he did the same thing.

They played back and forth for a little while, and as it turned out, neither team was that fantastic. David and Kabaji continuously crashed into each other, and it almost seemed as though Ryou and Atsushi were TRYING to crash into each other.

AND to add to it all, none of them were using any intensely special moves, so Kabaji was just kind of like, "DURP" all over the court and couldn't really do anything useful.

The match went on essentially uneventfully and everyone was getting annoyed, especially since the tiebreaker seemed to go on forever.

But, in the end, the David and Kabaji duo triumphed over the Ryou and Atsushi duo. But ONLY because the Ryou and Atsushi duo were pretty much sick of being on the same PLANET as each other, let alone the same COURT.

"Hurray!" cheered David. "Two more wins and we move on to play against SHATS!"

His captains frowned at him.

"What?" said David. "That wasn't a pun."

"It wasn't?" said Tezuka.

"No." said David. "THIS is a pun! So if you—"

"NO." said everyone as they slapped him.

"Aww…" said David sadly as he rubbed his face.

Atsushi and Ryou dejectedly made their way back to THEIR team's bench, where their team was just sitting there staring at them.

"…WHAT…" began Kaidou, slowly standing up. He paused and glared at them eye to eye, face to face. Then he took a deep breath. "…was that?"

"Well—" they both began as they pointed at each other and started talking at the same time like arguing chipmunks.

"THE NEXT MATCH!" Banji yelled from his referee chair since no one was paying attention to him. When he screamed that, however, everyone DID turn around. "The Singles 3 match is about to begin! This one is between Oshitari from The Snakes and Aoi from Pillars! Please come to the court."

"What a disappointment." Oshitari said, picking up his racket and standing. "I was hoping I would play against someone who wouldn't be a challenge."

"Why did I agree to Singles 3?" Aoi wondered. "I'm not under enough pressure in that position…"

They took the court and waited.

Then the game begun after the pointless waiting.

Aoi clearly threw the first game because he obviously wanted to be UNDA PRESHA! But he forgot to put on his Arrid this morning so he smelled pretty bad when he came over to the bench whence it was time to switch courts.

"Whoa." Said his entire team as they leaned back in attempt to escape his smelly wrath.

"What?" said Aoi because you really never can smell your own BO.

"Here, have some Old Spice." Said Tezuka as he handed Aoi some deodorant.

Aoi took it and stared at it. "Old Spice?" he demanded. "What makes you think Old Spice will work as effectively as my Arrid? I might as well not wear anything at all!"

Aoi then threw the deodorant as far as it would go and made his way back to the court where Oshitari was already waiting.

Tezuka watched his deodorant sail away.

"Kabaji, get my deodorant." Tezuka sighed.

"Yes." Said Kabaji as he marched off.

It was Oshitari's turn to serve and he decided to just continue to own Aoi as long as he would allow it. So he continued to own Aoi because Aoi continued to allow it.

And he was quite surprised when Aoi had successfully thrown ANOTHER game.

"GAME SET AND MATCH!" Banji yelled.

"WHAT?" Aoi demanded, standing up straight. "What about the rest of the games?"

"We're playing three game matches." Banji reminded him.

Aoi's jaw dropped to the floor. "I FORGOT!" he wailed.

Oshitari strolled back over to his team's bench.

"I WOULD say good job, but it's not like you did anything." Said Kaidou.

"Whatever." Said Oshitari. "It's still a win."

"Yes it is." Agreed the others.

"As long as you two both win your matches, we move on to the next round." Said Ryou to Akutsu and Kaidou.

"Are you suggesting that we might not win our matches?" demanded Akutsu.

"I never said that!" whined Ryou as he inched away.

"Singles 2!" called Banji. "Could I have Akutsu from The Snakes against Tachibana from Pillars on the court please?"

"GO TACHIBANA!" cheered everyone who is on Fudomine as they held up their signs that supported Tachibana and waved their flags and foam fingers with his face on them.

"Thank you for your support…" Tachibana said dramatically as he reached out for his team.

They all fainted from overexcitement.

Akutsu looked around. "…Why isn't anybody cheering for me…?" he said under his breath, and it was a good thing too because if he had said it out loud then everyone would have yelled at him and told him that it was because they hated him. And, under normal circumstances he wouldn't care that no one was cheering for him, but to see the contrast between Tachibana's fans and his lack of fans made him sort of notice the void.

ANYWAY.

I don't think it takes a genius to know that Akutsu was completely schooled, owned and taken advantage of by Tachibana who didn't even break a sweat. He didn't even have to go into SUPER TACHIBANA mode, in which he essentially becomes a Super Saiyan, complete with his hair turning blond and everything! (That might not have actually happened and I could have totally misread that entire part of the series, but I'm pretty sure that occurred.)

And of course Akutsu had his temper tantrum and decided that he was very stressed out and had to have a smoke.

But he didn't go outside or anything. He just sat there on the bench while Fudomine showered Tachibana with kisses and hugs and presents.

His team was all standing or sitting around him as he smoked. No one wanted to say anything because he's mean, but no one wanted to die of second hand smoke either.

"SOMEONE say something." Said Kaidou.

"Akutsu…" Oshitari said finally.

"You look like a big old dragon, puffing all that smoke." Ryou added.

"You make me cough." Atsushi said.

Akutsu stared at them.

"Way to be subtle, guys." Said Kaidou, slapping his forehead as Akutsu went all medieval on them.

Just as Kaidou was going to do something to help, he realized that it was his turn to play tennis and it would be foolish to miss that opportunity.

"If The Snakes win this match," Banji announced. "Then we will go into a tie breaker. If Pillars win, then they will move onto the next round!"

Kaidou advanced to the courts.

"Kaidou from The Snakes versus…" Banji started.

Kaidou looked up to see who his opponent was since he hadn't really been paying attention to the matches.

"Tezuka from Pillars." Banji finished in a very scary and mysterious voice.

Kaidou looked over at the bench to see Tezuka, moving in slow motion of course, rise to his feet with his racket over his shoulder. As he advanced to the court as well, he seemed to make a "DOM DOM DOM DOM" sound with every intimidating step.

"Let's have a good match, Kaidou." Tezuka reached out his hand for Kaidou to shake.

Kaidou hadn't realized Tezuka had already gotten that close to him, so he was kind of taken off guard.

"I know when I'm beaten." Kaidou said, turning around.

And with that, he left the court, leaving Tezuka standing there by himself.

"Is that a forfeit?" Banji called.

Kaidou didn't answer, he just sat down.

"All right, I guess it is." Said Banji with a shrug. "Game set and match! Tezuka is the winner! The Pillars move onto the next round to play against SHATS."

"It's just _Pillars_." Tezuka corrected as his team ran over to congratulate him.

As they had their victory, the screen panned over to Scary Creepy Fuji who was just standing off by himself somewhere with his arms crossed and an ominous wind blowing even though they were inside.

_"As expected from our captain." _Fuji was thinking. JUST BECAUSE HE COULD.


	45. In Which The Rythym vs TTTIBTST

The Rhythm vs The Team That Is Better Than Shuusuke's Team  
"Our next match is between The Rhythm and The Team That Is Better Than Shuusuke's Team." Ojii said as he took his place in the referee seat since Banji had departed. The coaches were, in case you haven't noticed, alternating being the refs for each match because they're so fair that way. 

"All right, it's so important for us to win our first three matches so Shishido doesn't have to play." Said Oishi to his team as they lied Shishido down on the bench and put a blanket on him.

"That won't be too hard, right?" said Itsuki.

Just then, Ryuuzaki walked over.

"Um…what's going on here?" she asked.

They only stood there looking suspicious. "What do you mean?" Sengoku said finally.

"Is Shishido well enough to be playing tennis?" she inquired, pointing at him.

"Of course he is!" said Sengoku. "We're ALWAYS well enough to play tennis!"

"Then why does he look like he should be in bed resting?" Ryuuzaki questioned.

"Um…" said Team Five slowly.

"Because he's conserving his energy!" Kamio said. "He's playing Singles 1 and he wants to make sure he's got enough energy to defeat his opponent, so he's taking a last minute nap!"

Ryuuzaki didn't look like she was going to accept that as an answer, but then she nodded.

"All right, I'll buy that." She said as she walked away.

"Nice job, Kamio." Said Oishi.

"WOOGITY WOOGITY WOOOO!" the whole team said as they did their secret handshake.

"Will the doubles teams please come onto the court?" Ojii said. "Oishi and Itsuki from The Rhythm against Bane and Jackal from The Team That Is Better Than Shuusuke's Team."

He paused.

"That's such a mouthful…" he said. "Do you mind if I shorten it?"

"What do you plan on shortening it to?" Yuuta asked.

"Well, I'll just take out all the stuff at the beginning…" Ojii said. "How about just easy… Shuusuke's Team?"

Yuuta looked like he was in shock for a little bit.

"NO." he said. "We will be The Team That Is Better Than Shuusuke's Team and you have to pronounce it all the way every single time!" Yuuta announced as he ran back to his bench to cry.

Fuji was only standing there chuckling warmly.

"Enough about your inferiority complex angst." Said Bane, looking annoyed at Yuuta. "I've been waiting to play tennis for four days straight and there's no way I could wait anymore."

"I agree." Jackal said.

"Very well!" said Ojii. " The Team That Is Better Than Shuusuke's Team to serve. Who will be serving?"

"I'll do it." Said Bane. "I have a super powered serve after all."

"Do you?" said Jackal.

"I do." Bane said proudly.

"Okay, whatever." Jackal shrugged.

Oishi looked at Itsuki. "Bane's on your tennis team, isn't he?" he asked.

"Yeah." Said Itsuki. "Why?"

"Do you know how to receive his serves?" Oishi asked.

"Better than you, I guess." Said Itsuki as he got in position to return the serve.

The match began. And even though Oishi has seriously not played doubles with anyone except Eiji for like an entire year, he managed to transition pretty well, even though Itsuki and Eiji definitely are totally different partners.

Bane did a few of his mad awesome serves, and Itsuki managed to return a few as well, unless that would be totally out of the question, then we'll just say they didn't return them. After all, The Team That Is Better Than Shuusuke's Team won the first game!

They went to their benches to switch courts.

"You guys are playing like you've never played doubles before." Said Sengoku. "At this rate, Shishido's going to have to play and it'll be all YOUR fault, Oishi."

"Don't worry." Said Oishi. "We'll be all right. It's our service now, thanks to this ridiculous new set of serving rules we have."

"And Bane won't be serving again, ALSO thanks to the ridiculous serving rules." Kamio added.

"We can still win." Oishi assured them.

The Team That Is Better Than Shuusuke's Team were also having a pep talk from Yuuta.

"Come on, guys!" he said. "We have to win all the way so I can beat my brother."

"You have noticed, of course, that he's in a totally different bracket than we are, and that would be taking a huge chance to assume that he wins his next game and we win our next two games and…" Shinji trailed off. "And then you probably won't even beat him then anyway."

"You know what?" Yuuta said. "Stop! Okay?"

"Okay." Shinji shrugged.

The two teams took the courts again, and this time it was Oishi's serve.

The Rhythm (no the team, not Kamio's actual rhythm) was ON this game, because they managed to run away with winning that game. The Team That Is Better Than Shuusuke's Team (whether it actually is better than Fuji's team or not is beyond even us, but that's their team name anyway) was less than thrilled that Bane and Jackal failed to attain the single win they required to really have the advantage for the next match.

Atobe sort of wanted to them to lose, though, so he could have a chance to play tennis too. And he was looking over at the other team to guess who would be playing Singles 1, and simply could not remember the last player that seemed to be amiss.

"Game set and match!" said Ojii, raising his hand and then pointing at The Rhythm; Oishi and Itsuki. They did an extended high five that lasted longer than it really needed to.

Eiji ran up to the sidelines.

"Nice job Oishi!" he cheered even though he was secretly jealous that Oishi would dare play doubles or do an extended high five with someone besides him. But there's no way he would show it.

"Thanks Eiji!" said Oishi, giving him the thumbs up.

They returned to the bench.

"All right, so far so good." Sengoku said, eyeing Shishido as if HE had done anything. "We just have to keep this winning streak up."

"Winning streak?" Kamio repeated. "We've won ONE game."

"Shut up and go play tennis!" Sengoku ordered.

"Singles 3!" called Ojii. "Kamio from The Rhythm against Shinji from The Team That Is Better Than Shuusuke's Team!"

They took the court.

"It's interesting to play against you." Said Kamio.

"It is interesting, because we are ones that usually play doubles together." Shinji agreed.

"Well, I'll win." Said Kamio, pointing at Shinji with his racket. "Because I'll have you know that I am in the rhythm."

"I'll keep that in mind." Shinji said.

They both turned their backs to each other and retreated to their baselines.

"Why are those two being so dramatic?" Jackal said, raising his eyebrow.

"We have to win this one, otherwise the best we'll be able to do is shoot for a tiebreaker." Bane said, sitting at the edge of the bench.

"I'm going to go see if there's a snack bar." Atobe said, wandering off.

He didn't know what he expected to find, but it WAS an indoor tennis court after all, so maybe there would be a snack bar. Even though of course no one would be behind the counter.

Atobe came across Team Three, AKA Pillars, AKA the team with too many captains on it.

"Tezuka," he said.

Tezuka looked up.

"What do you want?" Tezuka said with an expression that seemed a little bit like displeasure.

"Nothing." Said Atobe. "I just wanted to come over and tell you that in the unlikely event that my team gets the opportunity to face yours, I am looking forward to playing against you."

"Unlikely event?" Tezuka said. "Why is it so unlikely?"

"Because my team is terrible." Atobe said. "And your team is stacked."

"Oh." said Tezuka, looking over at his team, and then back at Atobe. "Well, I suppose this is true."

"I must take my leave now." Said Atobe, turning around and observing a ruckus over at the tennis courts. "It seems as though something worth my noting has occurred."

Atobe turned his back to Tezuka who only looked at him with a face that said, "Whatever."

When Atobe returned, Shinji was returning to the bench looking completely complacent.

"What is it?" Atobe asked.

"Shinji lost!" said Yuuta. "If you had been here instead of wandering around then you would have known that!"

"I just wasn't in the rhythm I guess." Shinji sighed.

"Now the best we can do is have a tiebreaker." Yuuta frowned.

"Well, keep in mind, Yuuta, that if you don't win then we lose all together." Said Atobe. "So no pressure or anything, but I want to play at least one game so don't lose, even though I hear it is in your nature."

Yuuta looked so betrayed that he might have just run away crying. Instead, he decided to channel his sadness into rage and use it to defeat his opponent on the court.

The Rhythm (as in THE TEAM) were all cheering for Kamio for being in his rhythm today, and then urged Sengoku to win or else they were screwed for the last match.

"No pressure!" said Kamio.

"Right!" said Sengoku. "Hopefully I'll be lucky!"

Sengoku and Yuuta both advanced to the courts.

Yuuta looked around and spotted his brother who was watching him. HIM. Of course, Fuji had been watching him while he was just sitting on the bench and when his team wasn't even playing… okay, so Fuji watches him all the time. But it was different because now he was playing tennis.

Yuuta knew that he had to win.

Of course, Sengoku ALSO knew that he had to win. It didn't take a lot to evaluate that Atobe would likely beat Shishido even if he were feeling on top of his game.

"Go ahead." Said Ojii, looking a little annoyed that they hadn't already started.

It was Sengoku's serve, so he used that specialrific serve that he has and thus the match began.

But something was definitely off about Sengoku's serve. He got a fault, and even as he went on to continue to serve, he continued to fail. He couldn't figure it out and finally just said, in quite an Engrishy sort of way, "Unlucky!"

In the end, Yuuta's strength and determination and obsession with being better than he brother carried him through the match, which ended in his favor with the score of 2-0.

Sengoku was devastated as he returned to his bench.

"You off your game or something?" Oishi asked.

"I guess…" Sengoku said. "I haven't played tennis in a while."

"Neither have we." Kamio pointed out.

"Stop rubbing it in!" Sengoku ordered.

"Looks like we're going to have to go to that tiebreaker." Said Oishi, looking at Shishido.

"Singles 1!" called Ojii. "Atobe from The Team That Is Better Than Shuusuke's Team versus Shishido from The Rhythm!"

"Well, we have to at least put on the show that Shishido would be playing, or else our coaches will get mad at us for not telling them that Shishido is sick." Kamio said.

"You're right." Said Sengoku.

They woke up Shishido and forced him to stand up, even though he whined and complained as they steadied him on his feet.

"Take this, and just throw the match." Said Oishi, giving Shishido a racket. "But don't let them know you're sick!"

Shishido glared at him, but then they pushed him in the direction of the court. He very slowly advanced to his place and looked very pathetic, as he could hardly even stand up straight.

Atobe was standing there just watching him the whole time.

"Interesting." He said, putting his hand in front of his face.

Then he looked over at his team who were all nodding their heads feverishly.

Atobe turned to Ojii.

"Excuse me," he said. "There is a certain person on this court who is not feeling well enough to play."

"Oh?" said Ojii, looking around.

"It is I." Said Atobe, striking a pose of despair and putting the back of his hand against his forehead. "I am not well. I feel far too ill. I cannot participate. How unfortunate for my team."

The Rhythm's mouths dropped to the floor.

The Team That Is Better Than Shuusuke's Team's mouths dropped to the floor.

Shishido dropped to the floor.

"ATOBE!" yelled his entire team.

"I apologize." Said Atobe as he made his way towards the bench with such an arrogant strut that it was pretty obvious that he was not the unwell one.

"Why did you throw the match?" demanded Yuuta. "After I worked so hard and you gave me a hard time! We could have won the tiebreaker!"

"Probably." Said Atobe. "But I just don't like you guys."

Atobe then decided that he'd grace someone else with his presence.

The Rhythm ran over to Shishido and ambushed him, telling him he did an awesome job, and to hide the fact that he could hardly walk on his own from the slightly suspicious coaches, they hoisted him up over their heads and carried him away in a celebratory manner.

"Well, that was a peculiar turn of events!" said Ryuuzaki, taking center stage once again. "Let's move on right away to find out who will be playing The Rhythm in the next round!"


	46. In Which iiData vs Doubles

ii Data vs Playing Doubles With Five People  
"This match is between ii Data and Playing Doubles With Five People!" Ryuuzaki announced. "Will those two teams please come forth and ready themselves for the doubles match?"

Playing Doubles With Five People all got into a huddle that was a little too close for the comfort of anyone except these five particular people.

"Remember," Eiji said. "No matter what happens, we've all learned so much from this experience!"

"Yes," said Choutarou. "Even though we had some bumps along the way, we've come together and managed to become a very tight team."

"All we have to do is keep playing our own games and we'll have no problem filling the void of those doubles partners that you guys miss so much!" said Momo.

"I have faith in our ability to go forward and fight for what we believe in!" said Marui. "And we believe in a world where doubles is the primary way to play tennis!"

"If we just focus on what's important to us and ignore any taunts and ill words from our opponents…" Gakuto finished up. "Then we can win within ourselves and on the court."

"It is because of this that we are truly playing doubles with five people." Said Eiji.

The five of them then separated.

Meanwhile, the ii Data team were all just standing in a formation that sort of looked like a circle, but not really. Sanada and Tetsu were on the bench being silent, Inui and Renji were making notes in their data books and reading up on their opponents, and Jirou was sleeping.

Tetsu looked enviously at Playing Doubles With Five People.

"I'm a doubles player too…" he frowned.

"Ootori and Gakuto from Playing Doubles with Five People!" called Ryuuzaki. "Please take the court for your match against Inui and Renji from ii Data!"

"Yes ma'am!" they said.

Inui and Renji put down their books and went to the court as well.

"You take the first serve, Ootori." Said Gakuto.

"Right!" said Choutarou as he did his famous SCUD SERVE OMG!

Since he had recently perfected it so that not even Inui's data could foil it, he managed to score all the points for that particular game, and then it was time to switch courts.

"No problem!" said Eiji as he gave Choutarou and Gakuto water bottles.

"I haven't really done anything." Said Gakuto.

"Well, it's not our serve anymore so we have to be careful." Choutarou said.

"We might be in trouble when it comes my time to serve…" Gakuto admitted. "I don't know what to expect from Renji."

"I know Inui has a really great serve." Momo said. "So look out for that."

Choutarou and Gakuto looked at each other and then went to the court, passing by Inui and Renji who were just silently marching.

"I will be serving for this game." Said Inui as he did just that.

And schooled them.

Choutarou looked sad. "No offense, Gakuto, but if you were Shishido then you would be able to return those serves."

"Well I'm not Shishido so leave me alone!" said Gakuto.

"Hey, hey!" said Eiji, standing up. "Don't fight, guys!"

"I didn't mean to start a fight." Said Choutarou, looking even sadder than before.

"I didn't mean to snap at you like that." Gakuto said. "I'm sorry."

"I'm sorry too." Choutarou said.

"Enough, enough!" said Ryuuzaki, looking irritated. "Let's get this last game over with."

"It's your serve, Gakuto." Said Choutarou.

"All right!" said Gakuto as he served the ball like a normal tennis player, and then quickly returned to the front of the court while Choutarou retreated to the back.

Since this was the first play that wasn't a score off of a serve, Inui and Renji were able to use their data tennis to succeed. However, Gakuto and Choutarou's plays as a team were quite unpredictable. They both usually played doubles and played on the same team, but Inui and Renji had to admit that they had never gathered data of the two of them playing together. AT THE SAME TIME. ON THE SAME COURT!

"40-15!" said Ryuuzaki, pointing at Play Doubles With Five People.

"I'm glad this match is short." Said Gakuto. "Short matches suit me best."

"We just need one more point." Said Choutarou, tossing the ball to Gakuto.

Once again, Gakuto served like a normal person, and this volley continued back and forth for quite a while, until Gakuto unleashed one of his BRAND NEW MOVES THAT NO ONE HAD SEEN YET (and I made up just now) in which he… uh… gets good air off of Choutarou's head and sails towards the lob that Inui had been pretty sure would be unreachable.

Even though Choutarou was a little bummed out that he had been stomped on, the ends justified the means when they were awarded with the victory.

"That was an excellent game." Said Renji as everyone politely shook hands.

They returned to their appointed areas.

"I anticipate a disastrous outcome of the remaining matches." Inui told his team.

"Why?" said Sanada. "They're all doubles players. We can beat them."

"I'm a doubles player too." Tetsu said for the second time.

"Singles 3!" said Ryuuzaki. "Tetsu from ii Data versus Eiji from Playing Doubles With Five People!"

"I am SO nervous, guys!" said Eiji to his teammates. "What if I don't do a good job? What if I lose the game?"

"Don't worry!" said Momo. "You've played singles before! Remember how you used to play singles before your first year of middle school when you started playing with Oishi? Remember that?"

Eiji nodded. "That was a long time ago." Eiji said woefully.

"We believe in you, Eiji!" said Choutarou.

Eiji still didn't look convinced, and his feet were dragging as he made his way towards the court.

"This looks bad…" said Gakuto.

"We have to find Oishi to give Eiji the strength to play singles!" said Momo, jumping to his feet.

"Yeah!" said Marui. "Where do we find him?"

"I've been here the whole time!" said Oishi as he jumped out of a bush. "I would never miss one of Eiji's matches!"

They stared at him.

"Well, why were you hiding in that bush?" questioned Marui.

"Because!" said Oishi. "I just was! Back off!"

"Okay, okay, fine…" said Marui, rolling his eyes.

"EIJI!" Oishi called to Eiji.

"Oishi?" Eiji perked up and looked around. And then he spotted Oishi. "Oishi! There you are! You came to watch my match!"

"I wouldn't miss it for the world!" Oishi said.

"Oishi!" exclaimed Eiji as he faced Tetsu and looked determined.

Tetsu frowned once again. He wished Sakurai would jump out of a bush to support him and give him strength to play singles. But that didn't happen. And because of that, he felt even more discouraged than he was before.

With the avid support of Oishi AND his entire time, Eiji didn't have much trouble playing against Tetsu. And he felt it necessary to go totally all out and use ALL his acrobatics and all his special moves just because everyone was watching him and he wanted to impress Oishi, even though Oishi's seen them all before like a hundred times.

"Game set and match!" said Ryuuzaki. "The winner is Eiji from Playing Doubles With Five People!"

"Hurray!" said Eiji as he ran over and jumped into the arms of his team. Oishi ran over too.

"You did great, Eiji!" Oishi said.

"It was all because of you, Oishi!" said Eiji. "You gave me the strength I needed to play singles! But I don't ever want to do it again."

"Oh Eiji!" said Oishi.

And then they hugged.

For like an hour.

And they would have hugged forever if they weren't promptly stopped by Eiji's teammates.

"By the way, your team name is awesome!" said Oishi, giving Eiji the thumbs up as he ran off to find his team all over again.

"Thanks Oishi!" said Eiji as he waved goodbye to his best friend ever.

"Returning to our tennis matches…" said Ryuuzaki, clearing her throat loudly. "Could I have the Singles 2 match ready to go? Marui from Playing Doubles With Five People and Jirou from ii Data!"

"What?" said Jirou, sitting up immediately. "Did they just say that I was playing against Marui?"

"If you don't win, Jirou," said Inui. "Then our team will be knocked out of the competition and Sanada will not have an opportunity to play any tennis at all."

"But…but…" Jirou stuttered. "I can't win against MARUI!"

"You better win against Marui." Said Sanada as he grabbed Jirou's collar threateningly.

"Hey!" said Jirou, pulling away. "Don't hate!"

Sanada let him go and Jirou ran to the courts.

"Do you think Jirou will be able to win?" Renji asked Inui.

"Unfortunately, it is most unlikely." Inui replied.

Jirou stood at his baseline while Marui stood at his own.

"Hey!" Jirou called. "Remember me?"

Marui raised an eyebrow. "Er…sure." He said.

"The fact that you beat me so bad two years ago is really psyching me out." Jirou confessed.

"Psyching you UP or psyching you OUT?" Marui clarified.

"Out." Said Jirou. "I honestly don't think I could ever beat you and I might as well forfeit right now!"

"DON'T. YOU. DARE." Said his team quite angrily.

"But I won't!" Jirou assured them.

The match commenced and everyone watched intently. It was SUPER interesting because both Jirou and Marui had a similar style of play so it all came down to whoever was simply more talented.

Momo was sitting at the edge of his seat.

"I kind of hope that Marui will lose just so I'll get a turn." Momo said, caressing his racket excitedly.

"I can see why." Said Eiji. "It has been SO long since the last time we got to play tennis."

Choutarou came back from looking at the giant easel.

"Guys!" he exclaimed.

"What?" said everyone, jumping up.

Choutarou took a deep breath. "If we win this game…" he started. "Then the next team we play against is Shishido's team!"

"OMFG Oishi's on that team too!" Eiji yelled as he ran over to double check just to make sure.

"Now we DEFINITELY have to win!" Choutarou said.

"If Marui doesn't beat Jirou then it's all up to me!" said Momo. "I'd be a liar if I said I wasn't excited!"

"Game set and match!" came Ryuuzaki's voice from the courts.

Everyone spun around in slow motion to see Marui standing there with that LOOK that you get when you know you're all like: I won. Snap.

"Marui won!" said Playing Doubles With Five People. "SNAP!"

They all ran over and cheered for him as Jirou sadly went back to his team. They were all shaking their heads in a disappointed fashion as if they hadn't lost their games as well.

"Great." Said Sanada. "Now I'm the ONLY PERSON who didn't get to play tennis."

"Momo didn't get to play." Tetsu pointed out.

"But his team is moving onto the next round." Sanada reminded him. "So no doubt he will get the opportunity."

"Oh yeah…" said Tetsu, hanging his head low.

"Winners!" said Ryuuzaki. "Playing Doubles With Five People! They will move onto the next round to play against The Rhythm!"

"Let's take a look at the lineup for the second round, shall we?" suggested Sakaki as he gathered everyone around. "There will be only two matches, so this is the semi-finals. Whichever two teams win this game will play against each other to determine the winners."

"The first match will be SHATS versus Pillars!" said Ryuuzaki.

The two teams eyed each other.

"I look forward to getting an opportunity to play against you, Tezuka." Said Fuji, looking quite evil.

"We're not matched to play against each other." Tezuka said. "I'm playing Singles 1 and you're playing Doubles."

Fuji paused a moment, frozen in his evil pose.

"Well, nevertheless." He said. "In general, I look forward to playing a match against you."

"Oh." said Tezuka.

"You guys CAN switch the lineup if you want." Said Banji.

"No, we're all right the way we are." Said Fuji as if he answered for every single person. IN THE WORLD.

"ANYWAY." Said Ryuuzaki. "As I previously stated, Playing Doubles With Five People will play against The Rhythm!"

"Oishi, MY team is playing against YOUR team!" said Eiji as if it wasn't the most obvious thing ever.

"That's so exciting!" said Oishi. "I'm glad you and I don't have to play against each other, though."

"Tell me about it!" said Eiji with an overly animated sigh of relief.

"Say, where exactly is Shishido, anyway?" said Choutarou since he had obviously had a lot of inner monologue about Shishido just then and had just suddenly come to the realization that Shishido wasn't present.

"He's uh…getting himself psyched up for his next match!" Sengoku said.

Choutarou paused. "Oh." he said. "I guess he does that sometimes."

"Who win the tournament?" said Ojii. "The team with too many captains on it? The team with too many people who play doubles on it? The team with too many evil people on it? Or the team with random miscellaneous people who don't really get along?"

Everyone stared at him.

"Hey…" said Sengoku. "We're not random miscellaneous people!"

"And what do you mean 'evil people'?" said Yana. "We're not evil. Well, Fuji is. But the rest of us aren't."

"I am TOO evil!" said Kirihara.

"I'm pretty evil." Mizuki agreed.

"Okay fine." Said Yana. "But me and Taka aren't evil."

"Well me and Kabaji aren't captains." David pointed out.

"ALL RIGHT ENOUGH." Said Ojii. "Forget I said anything."

"We are going to take a dinner break so you can all have a breather before we continue!" said Sakaki. "We want the four winning teams to come back in one hour! The rest of you can go to your houses if you want because we don't expect you to come back."

"Houses as in our real houses that we ACTUALLY live in?" Ryoma said.

"No." Said Sakaki. "The fake houses that we're forcing you to live in."

"Oh." said Ryoma with a frown.

"So be back in one hour, you teams that aren't losers!" said Banji.

"RIGHT-O!" said the non loser teams as they gave their coaches the thumbs up.


	47. In Which There is an Intermission

Intermission  
The families decided to stay together while they were eating so they could figure out better strategy. Except for the teams that lost of course. It would be silly to think up strategy NOW. It would have been helpful beforehand, but now it was obviously too late for that. 

SHATS…  
"It will be easier to predict the outcome of the matches now that we know who we will be up against." Fuji said. "We know that David and Kabaji will be playing doubles against Taka and I."

"Will we be able to beat them?" Taka said, looking nervous.

Fuji looked at Taka. "Taka." He said. "Oh Taka."

"What?" Taka said uneasily.

"Believe in me, Taka, the way I believe in you." Fuji said, taking Taka's hand.

Taka slowly took his hand back.

"But…" he started. "I played against Kabaji before. He can copy our moves! That's dangerous."

"No one can copy MY moves." Said Fuji as he daintily put his napkin in his lap.

Then he paused.

"Well," he said. "And get away with it, anyway."

"Oh geez." Said his whole team.

"I wasn't really paying attention to who played in the singles spots for that team we're playing against." Yana said after a little while. "Who's playing in Singles 3? Someone I can beat?"

"Um, no, not really." Said Taka. "It's some kind of genius first year captain kid from Rokkaku."

"Oh." said Yana. "Bummer."

"So it looks like we'll end up losing Singles 3 again." Said Fuji, looking only SLIGHTLY affected by this issue.

"Hopefully I'll get a chance to play this time around." Said Mizuki. "It was so disappointing when my opponent had to forfeit because he was hacking up blood."

"Well, you'll be playing against Tachibana." Kirihara said. "Don't worry about him. He's a pushover. Then again, YOU might have trouble with him."

"Oh?" said Mizuki. "Well, keep in mind that you and I are not in the same league."

"I know." Said Kirihara. "That's why I'm worried about you."

Mizuki glared at Kirihara.

"I meant I was better." Mizuki said.

"Oh." said Kirihara. "Well that's just not true. Right, Fuji? You've played against both of us. Aren't I better?"

"Hm…" said Fuji, picking up the menu and hiding behind it.

"That means yes." Kirihara whispered to Mizuki.

"No it doesn't." Mizuki whispered back.

Playing Doubles With Five People…  
"You're playing against Oishi in the next match, aren't you Ootori?" said Eiji enthusiastically.

"Yeah!" said Choutarou. "He's YOUR doubles partner, isn't he?"

"He is!" said Eiji. "I WOULD tell you all of his tendencies and quirks on the tennis court, but that wouldn't be a good idea in the long run when we play against Hyoutei for real!"

"Oh, okay!" said Choutarou. "I guess that makes sense. You wouldn't want to give Hyoutei and unnecessary advantage when we play you in the future."

The two only sat there with horseshoe eyes while facing each other.

"So anyway, guys…" said Momo, clearing his throat.

"Oh my gosh!" Choutarou exclaimed, turning to Momo. "You're playing against Shishido in Singles 1!" Choutarou then paused and smiled. "I'm so proud of Shishido for getting to play in Singles 1! He works so hard!"

"Yeah so if you want to give me any hints on how to beat Shishido…" Momo led.

"Well," Choutarou started but Gakuto jumped up and put his hand over Choutarou's mouth.

"Hell-LO?" Gakuto yelled. "What did you JUST have a conversation with Eiji about? HM?"

Choutarou stopped.

"Oh right." Choutarou said. "I'm sorry, Momo! You'll have to beat Shishido on your own."

"It was worth a shot." Momo sighed.

Then they all looked at Marui.

"Why are you all looking at me?" Marui said with a raised eyebrow.

"Because you haven't said anything yet." Said Momo. "Don't you want to say something?"

"About what?" said Marui.

"Anything." Said Choutarou. "How was your day? Tell us how you feel."

"Um…that's okay." Said Marui. "I'm good just listening to the conversation."

Then there was silence.

"Oh my god." Said Eiji. "I just had a really great idea. Let's all tell funny stories about silly things our doubles partners have done!"

"YEAH!" they all cheered.

Pillars…  
"There are a few facts surrounding our match with Team One." Said Tezuka as he pulled out a piece of paper and started making a diagram. "We will not win the Doubles Match."

"Hey!" said David. "We will TOO win the doubles match!"

Tezuka nearly dropped his pen as he gave David a disapproving sigh.

"No." he said. "You will not."

"What makes you say something like that?" demanded David.

Tezuka picked up his diagram and showed David that the first match was 'David and Kabaji versus Taka and Fuji'.

"So?" said David. "We can beat them."

"Taka and Fuji are a very dynamic pair when they play doubles together." Tezuka said as-a-matter-of-factly.

"I think you have a little too much faith in your team." Said Tachibana. "Your Seigaku team, I mean."

"Well I don't like your face." Said Tezuka. "What do you say to that?"

"I say you couldn't think of anything else to say in response to my totally justified comment so you just took a personal jab at me." Said Tachibana.

Tezuka stared at him.

"And I don't think you really have anything against my face." Tachibana threw in.

"Are you coming on to me?" Tezuka said, his eyes narrowing.

Tachibana used the brand new sound effect for eyebrow raising.

"Don't flatter yourself." Tachibana said.

"WHATEVER." Said Aoi with an exasperated sigh. "How are we going to do in the match BESIDES doubles?"

Tezuka sat up straight and looked at his diagram. "So, we'll lose doubles, and we'll win all three of our singles matches." He said. "Aoi, you won't find Yanagisawa from St. Rudolph to be much of a challenge and Tachibana, I don't think you'll have trouble with Mizuki."

They paused.

"And of course, the fact that I will win my match is a given." Tezuka said when he didn't get a response right away.

"Whatever, Tezuka." Said Tachibana.

The Prince of Tennis and Friends…  
They were all staring at each other.

Actually, only Saeki, Hiyoshi and Sakurai were there, considering Yukimura had taken a recent ambulance ride to the hospital, and considering Ryoma had just bled from the eyes not a few hours ago, the teachers had decided that it would be best to take him to the hospital as well.

"So…" said Saeki. "Kinda sucks that we don't get to play anymore tennis, huh?"

"Yeah." Said Hiyoshi. "And you'd think that out of everyone, we should have done the best considering we made our own tennis court in the street."

"I know!" said Sakurai. "And we've been practicing!"

They paused.

"You know what this means, don't you?" said Saeki.

"Not really." Hiyoshi and Sakurai admitted.

"The OTHERS made tennis courts too!" Saeki announced.

The other two gasped.

"And what's WORSE!" Saeki went on. "Since they beat us, OBVIOUSLY they made BETTER tennis courts than us!"

"Or maybe…" Sakurai said slowly, getting to his feet. "The teachers were giving them special treatment and let them use the tennis courts while we were stuck at home playing on the street or griping about something else!"

"That's not fair that they got special treatment!" Hiyoshi slammed his fist down on the table.

"Actually…" Saeki rubbed his chin. "Now that I think about it… Yukimura was feeling fine before he had to play tennis against Mizuki."

"I bet the other team foiled him and poisoned his water!" Sakurai yelled.

"Foul play!" agreed Hiyoshi. "Conspiracy!"

The three of them sat there fuming angrily when all of a sudden, a waitress came over.

"Who ordered what?" she asked. "Finger Lickin' Chicken?"

"Oh that's me." Said Hiyoshi, raising his hand.

"Who got the Bitty Burgers?" said the waitress.

"Right here!" said Sakurai.

"So YOU must have ordered the Hot Doggie." Said the waitress as she put the final meal in front of Saeki.

"YAY!" all three of them cheered as they started eating.

The Rythem...  
"I don't know HOW we managed to get away with that win…" Oishi said as he and his team sat around the table with their Virgin Strawberry Daiquiris raised high in the air. "But we all have Atobe to thank for it."

"To Atobe!" chimed the rest of the team as they clinked their glasses, except for Shishido who resembled a rag doll slowly sliding down his chair.

"But…" Sengoku said as he put his drink down. "I get the feeling that that probably won't happen when we're matched up against Playing Doubles With Five People."

"Eiji's on that team, and I know when he's serious…" said Oishi glumly.

"How about we don't get down on ourselves right away?" suggested Kamio. "Let's try to just figure out their weaknesses and exploit them!"

"Good idea!" said Sengoku. "Itsuki and Oishi, you guys are playing against Gakuto and Ootori in doubles and you'll have no trouble since they're both pansies."

All of a sudden, Shishido's hand raised high in the air and slammed down on the table so all the silverware and the like jumped up into the air and landed again. The rest of his team stared at him.

"Don't make fun of Choutarou." He said flatly and had a certain edge to his tone.

"Are you feeling better, Shishido?" Itsuki asked.

Shishido didn't answer, he just suddenly collapsed to the side and landed on the floor.

Everyone worked together to pick him up and prop him back on the chair.

"I'd hate to be in your shoes, Kamio, playing against Eiji and all…" Oishi said, shaking his head slightly.

Kamio wanted to say something along the lines of, "I'll beat him NO PROBLEM!" but he didn't want Oishi to have a similar reaction as Shishido and end up killing him.

"Oh gee, boy am I worried." Kamio said.

Oishi nodded and looked remorseful.

"Should I be worried about Marui?" Sengoku wondered.

"Well, if you play as horribly as you did against Yuuta then you should be worried about the girl's tennis team." Itsuki said.

"Hey!" said Sengoku. "That was uncalled for!"

"We just have to win all of our games so we don't even give the other team an opportunity to scare us like Atobe did." Oishi said. "So everyone has to play our best so Shishido doesn't have to!"

"YES!" they all yelled as they threw their hands in the middle, temporarily got offended that Shishido didn't as well, and then forced him to join them.

The Snakes…  
"I TOLD you guys that me and Ryou were incompatible." Said Atsushi.

"We BOTH told you." Said Ryou.

"Well, at least you two agree on that much." Said Oshitari with a sigh.

"We could have won." Said Akutsu angrily. "If we had been smarter with the line-up, we could have easily won."

"How so?" said Oshitari. "The only game we won was because the other person threw the match."

"No." said Kaidou, standing up and looking overly dramatic. "Did you see their team? It was amazing. No matter what happened, they would have beaten us, no matter who they were up against."

"Well, Kaidou…" said Ryou. "I'm pretty sure that I remember you forfeiting your match without even bothering to try."

"What was the point?" Kaidou yelled. "My opponent was Tezuka!"

"I have to admit too that I didn't really try all that much." Said Akutsu. "After my opponent scored easily the first few times I sort of threw my match too."

"And it's likely that if my opponent didn't throw his match, I probably would have thrown mine." Oshitari admitted.

"You guys all suck!" said Atsushi.

"Yeah!" said Ryou. "Even though Atsushi and I hate each other, we still at least TRIED!"

"And where did it get you?" Oshitari said. "You lost your matches just like Kaidou and Akutsu."

"Yeah but…" said Ryou and Atsushi sadly as they bowed their heads in shame.

"Whatever." Said Akutsu. "Tennis is stupid anyway."

Then there was silence. Everyone stared at him.

"How…could you even JOKE about that?" said Kaidou.

"Joke?" said Akutsu. "Who's joking? Tennis is stupid."

"That's it!" said Ryou, standing up. "Push me around, force me to wear a helmet in public, make fun of my hair… FINE! But never…NEVER… insult tennis!"

"HERE HERE!" yelled the rest of them team as they all jumped from their seats with flaming torches and pitchforks.

ii Data…  
This particular team was doing nothing really. Their wounds were still fresh from their ever-so recent defeat at the hands of the silly doubles players.

It was a disappointment to lose against such a frivolous team, especially since they had had so many hardcore data sessions beforehand that should have well prepared them for their upcoming matches.

But that was all in the past now. And it wasn't helping their team morale to just sit there giving each other the silent treatment.

"I am sad." Sanada broke the silence. "I didn't get to play tennis."

"We're sorry Sanada." Said the rest of them at the same time.

"If only we had managed to win at least one of our games then you would have gotten to play." Said Tetsu.

Sanada tried to be the bigger man. "It's…it's all right." He said with a sigh.

"Now what?" asked Jirou.

"I agree." Said Renji. "What else will our coaches do to us?"

"They stated at the beginning of this experiment of theirs that it would last only five days." Inui reported, flipping back in his data book. "They may let us escape any time from the end of the tennis matches that the others are completing up until tomorrow at around midday, which will make exactly five days since we first began."

"Do you really think they'll go right down to the hour?" Renji asked.

"There's no way to tell." Said Inui. "Our teachers are psychotic."

"Yes they are." Everyone agreed as they simultaneously took bites of their food, which was delicious.

"Guys, do you think our coaches would mind—"

"Jirou." Sanada interrupted. "Chew. Swallow. Then talk."

Jirou frowned. Then he chewed, swallowed and continued. "Do you think our coaches would mind if I took at least one of the disco balls home?"

"Why would they mind?" said Tetsu.

"Would YOU guys mind?" Jirou asked.

"Why would WE mind?" demanded all four of them together.

The Team That Is Better Than Shuusuke's Team…  
"You forfeited your first match EVER just because you didn't want me to get a chance to play against my brother?" Yuuta said angrily to Atobe who was only sitting there looking comfortable.

"No." said Atobe. "I forfeited my first match ever for various reasons, one being, of course, that I didn't want to give you a chance to play against your brother."

"Besides, he was playing doubles and you're playing singles so it's not like you would have played against him anyway." Shinji pointed out.

"WHY do you do this, Atobe?" demanded Yuuta, ignoring Shinji.

"Just when we're starting to think that you might not be THAT BAD, you go and pull something like this on us!" Jackal chimed in.

Atobe just sat there.

"Don't you have anything to say?" said Bane.

"No." said Atobe. "If I had anything to say then I would have said it. I wouldn't have waited for you to prompt me to say something. That's just silly."

"You're hopeless." Said Yuuta, shaking his head.

"And what is that supposed to mean?" Atobe questioned.

"Someday when you go out into the REAL WORLD, you're going to realize that it actually doesn't revolve around you." Yuuta explained.

Atobe looked contemplative.

"What are you talking about?" he said finally. "Of course it does."

"It might as well." Shinji agreed. "Face it, Yuuta. You're just jealous because the world doesn't revolve around YOU."

"There we go." Said Atobe.

Yuuta smacked Shinji upside the head. "NOT HELPING!" he yelled.

"At this point, getting into anymore arguments is pointless." Jackal said. "This is our last night together and then we can all go home and if we really wanted to, never talk to each other again, since we're on different teams and all."

"That's true." Said Yuuta. "I will make it a POINT to never talk to Atobe ever again!"

"That breaks my heart." Said Atobe.


	48. In Which SHATS vs Pillars

Round Two  
SHATS vs Pillars  
"WELCOME BACK WINNING TEAMS!" exclaimed the coaches as they welcomed back the winning teams. 

"We're going to start up the first game ASAP because we know how much you guys are itching to play some tennis!" said Ryuuzaki.

"You can say that again!" said the twenty youthful tennis players.

"SHATS and Pillars? Please go to your benches!" said Sakaki. "You other two teams must bide your time until YOUR match begins!"

"OKAY!" said the other two teams as the first two teams went to their benches.

"Starting with the Doubles Match!" said Sakaki, taking his seat in the referee chair. "David and Kabaji from Pillars versus Fuji and Taka from SHATS!"

"Now remember," said Tezuka to David and Kabaji. "You won't win this game, so don't bother using TOO much energy when you get down in the score early."

They all stared at him.

"Way to be encouraging." Said Aoi.

"I'm just telling them the truth." Said Tezuka.

Tachibana spun both David and Kabaji around and started giving them a REAL pep talk because like we said earlier, Tachibana and people younger than him go together like a horse and carriage.

"Just stay focused and play your hardest." Tachibana said. "Don't let the other team get to you, and ignore what Tezuka said."

"Wow, Tachibana…" said David, tears forming in his eyes. "I can see why your team loves you so much!"

Kabaji nodded in agreement, unable to even say his one-word response because he was so touched.

"Go for the win!" said Tachibana.

"YES TACHIBANA!" yelled David and Kabaji as they ran to the court.

"How dare you undermine my authority." Said Tezuka. "There is only one true captain of this team."

"Of course I was going to undermine your authority!" said Tachibana. "You looked them right in the eye and told them they were going to lose! How can you possibly expect them to perform well after that?"

Tezuka crossed his arms and pointed at the court just as Taka and Fuji won the first game, and they were instructed to switch courts.

"I don't know, Tachibana…" said David, looking dejected. "Me and Kabaji tried our hardest and they beat us anyway."

"You still have plenty of time to get the win back." Tachibana urged them.

Over on the other half of the court, with SHATS, they were having their own pep talk.

"I wonder what he's saying to them…" Fuji said, glancing over at Tachibana as he stood there with a hand on each of his teammates shoulders, talking to them very animatedly and enthusiastically.

"Why does it matter?" Kirihara leaned over and looked at them. "You beat them in like five seconds."

"Oh I know it doesn't matter, of course." Said Fuji with a pleasant chuckle.

"And it's not like either of them have an especially good serve or anything." Taka went on. "I think we'll do just fine."

"Yes, I think so as well." Said Fuji as he and Taka went to the other side of the court.

The three remaining players of SHATS looked at each other.

"WHOA." They all said.

It was David's turn to serve first, and he DID but it didn't really get him anywhere anytime soon. Fuji easily returned his serve and scored a point.

"15-0!" called Sakaki.

"Nice job, Fuji!" said Taka.

"Tee-hee!" said Fuji giddily.

"Kabaji, aren't you supposed to be able to copy people's moves or something?" David asked.

Kabaji paused and then stared at the other team who were ready to receive David's serve. When Kabaji didn't reply, David just served the ball and Taka ran up and returned it. It went right to Kabaji and he did the…

"OH NO!" yelled everyone who recognized the stance.

Taka gasped. "The Hadoukyuu!"

Kabaji did the ONE HANDED HADOUKYUU!

And it went straight for Fuji. Taka went to go and jump in front of it to sacrifice himself like the kind pal he is, but Fuji pushed Taka out of the way and they both avoided the shot.

As it turned out, Kabaji used WAY too much power and just ended up lodging the ball in the fence behind Taka and Fuji without it even bouncing in their court.

The two looked up at the ball, and then back at Kabaji.

"30-0!" said Sakaki.

"How did you know it was going to go out, Fuji?" Taka asked, standing up.

"I'm really good at tennis." Fuji answered bluntly. "But thank you for your kind gesture of sacrificial play."

"Oh." said Taka. "Your welcome."

Then the play continued. Eventually, Team Taka and Fuji scored two more points and were declared the victors of the first match.

"Aw man…" said David as he sadly retreated to the bench. "So much for that! My hopes were all built up for a win and we didn't even score a single point! Thanks a lot, Tachibana!"

"What?" said Tachibana, crossing his arms.

"If I had just listened to Tezuka then this defeat wouldn't have been so painful…" said David, sniffling slightly.

"You're so ungrateful!" said Tachibana. "I'm sure if it were a member of MY team, they would have accepted defeat gracefully, and certainly not blamed someone ELSE for their short comings!"

"TACHIBANA!" yelled Kamio from the other side of the court. "I'M SUPPORTING YOU AS THE ONLY MEMBER OF FUDOMINE PRESENT!"

Tachibana raised his hand in Kamio's direction, causing him to faint.

"Um…whatever." Said the rest of Tachibana's team.

"Next up is the Singles 3 match!" said Sakaki. "Will Aoi from Pillars and Yana from SHATS please step up?"

"Oh my goodness gracious." Said Aoi. "I haven't even started playing yet and I ALREADY need more Arrid!"

He quickly applied more Arrid since, during the dinner break, his team had wisely purchased some for him at the closest CVS.

He went out to the court and threw the first game so he could be UNDA PRESHA!

"Remember, if you lose this game then you lose." Said Tezuka. "Completely. So please don't forget that these are only three game matches."

"Don't worry!" said Aoi. "I'll definitely win!"

Aoi went back out there and threw a few points so it came down to the GAME POINT. OH DEAR.

His team was yelling at him in attempt to remind him that if he lost this game then he would completely lose.

"I KNOW I KNOW!" he yelled at them.

Yana served it, and Aoi returned it. And from that point on, Aoi returned every single ball and it only took a few minutes before Yana was eliminated.

"See?" said Aoi as he strutted arrogantly back to his team's bench. "You guys were worried over nothing!"

"Over nothing?" said Tachibana. "You screwed up your last match so I think we were worried over SOMETHING."

"Next up is Singles 2!" said Sakaki. "Tachibana from Pillars and Mizuki from SHATS, please come to the courts!"

"Don't lose, Mizuki." Said Yana. "Cause if you lose then we're probably going to have to go to another tiebreaker."

"If we lose this match…" Fuji said, looking over at the other team's bench. He eyed Tezuka and Tezuka alone. "We will not proceed to the next round."

"What do you mean?" said Taka, then he looked over and what Fuji's eyes were set on. "Oh. Yeah. You're probably right."

"Way to have no faith in me, guys!" said Kirihara.

"Let's just take this one match at a time." Said Mizuki, standing up.

"So don't lose, Mizuki." Said Fuji, facing Mizuki again.

"Yeah." Said Yana. "If you lose, Fuji'll kill you in your sleep."

Fuji chuckled warmly again. "Oh Yana," he said. "Probably not in his sleep."

Mizuki sidestepped around Fuji and quickly made his way to the courts. He had collected data on Tachibana, and even though Mizuki's data tennis tended to fail him, he decided to rely on it ANYWAY!

_Probably not in his sleep_.

The scary words sent a shiver down Mizuki's spine, but he tried to focus on defeating Tachibana instead.

"GO TACHIBANA GO!" yelled Kamio from the sidelines as he held up a sign that said, 'Tachibana is my HERO!'

I guess the fact that Tachibana had a cheering squad tends to freak everyone out, because it worked on Mizuki. He got sad that no one liked him enough to cheer for him as enthusiastically as Tachibana received cheers and was down one game when it was time to change courts.

"I'm very disappointed, Mizuki." Said Fuji. "Please don't make us lose."

"Mizuki, I TOLD you Tachibana was too much for you to handle." Said Kirihara with a flamboyant shrug.

"How depressing…" said Yana.

"I would have loved to play more tennis." Taka said, a silent tear rolling down his cheek.

Mizuki got determined from all the kind words from his teammates. (NOT!) Gripping his racket tightly, Mizuki made his way back onto the court, the advantage on HIM because HE had the serve!

But it only took a few serves before Tachibana walloped him.

"GAME SET AND MATCH!" said Sakaki, pointing at Tachibana. "The Pillars!"

"PILLARS." Tezuka corrected, standing up straight.

"That's what I just said." Said Sakaki.

"No." said Tezuka. "You said THE Pillars. We are just Pillars."

"WHATEVER!" yelled everyone.

"Sorry guys…" said Mizuki, looking awfully down on himself as he sat down. They all scooted away from him as if he had the plague.

"SHATS's Kirihara against Pillars' Tezuka!" said Sakaki. "If Pillars win this, then they move onto the next round! If SHATS wins, there will be a tiebreaker! Let's see what happens!"

"It's all up to you, Kirihara." Said Taka. "It's been nice knowing you."

"Wow, first Ryoma, now Tezuka…" said Yana, looking impressed as Kirihara marched out onto the court.

Tezuka joined him, holding out his hand to shake like a gentleman. "Let's have a good match." Said Tezuka.

"I will SO beat you." Said Kirihara with a glare, not taking Tezuka's hand.

"Oooooo…" said all the people who were present and NOT Tezuka or Kirihara.

Tezuka's lip quivered slightly, but he wasn't about to show his dejectedness so he turned away and retreated to the baseline.

"SHATS serve!" said Sakaki.

"I'll show you." Said Kirihara as he bounced the ball. "I'll show EVERYONE!"

Kirihara's eyes went bloodshot as he threw the ball up into the air and served it like ONLY KIRIHARA KNOWS HOW.

Of course, this is Tezuka we're talking about and he returned the serve like ONLY TEZUKA KNOWS HOW.

Their play continued back and forth and everyone got SO excited when they realized that Tezuka was using…

"THE TEZUKA ZONE!" cheered everyone who was on Pillars. And also everyone who was on Seigaku cheered too, just because it got them so excited.

This clued Kirihara into what was going on, so he decided he had to put an end to it. Of course, it's not like he COULD, even after he firmly decided it, and he ended up losing the first game.

"Damn it!" Kirihara said angrily whence it was time to switch courts. "I have to find out a way to defeat that damn Tezuka Zone!"

Taka and Fuji both let out a sigh and looked at each other, shaking their heads, almost as if telepathically saying, "Oh Kirihara…"

Kirihara returned to the court and Tezuka served the ball.

"Game point!" said Sakaki when that situation presented itself. "If Tezuka scores this last point then Pillars will move onto the final round!"

"Hm…I get a bad feeling about this dramatic turn of events…" said Tachibana slowly.

Tezuka threw the ball up into the air and was JUST about to serve it when he let out a yell and clutched his arm.

"My injury…my recurring injury that always comes back to haunt me at the worst of times…" he cried.

"TEZUKA!" yelled all the members of Seigaku as they ran to his aid.

Kirihara only stood there waiting for something to happen as Seigaku tended to Tezuka.

"Well…" said Sakaki. "Since Tezuka is no longer able to play… Kirihara from SHATS wins by a forfeit!"

"We'll take it!" Yana threw his arms up into the air and cheered.

"No…" said Tezuka, clenching his fist dramatically.

"TIE BREAKER!" screamed the coaches.

"Each team will send one representative." Said Ryuuzaki. "BUT THERE IS A TWIST."

"GASP?" said everyone.

"Instead of you being able to pick who you're sending, you must send your youngest teammate!" said Ryuuzaki as the teachers set up the tiebreaker; two chairs with a table in between them.

"GASP!" said everyone.

"Well, that's me, I guess." Said Aoi to his teammates. They nodded and sent him to the chair.

"Considering I'm a second year, and you guys are all third years, it MUST be me…" Kirihara started but Fuji raised his hand.

"No." said Fuji. "I don't think so."

They all stared at him curiously, but he appeared to not be letting them in on his little secret. He only stepped forth and sat down in the chair.

"Um…Fuji?" said Ryuuzaki. "We all KNOW you're a third year and that Kirihara is a second year."

"Does that matter?" said Fuji. "I'm only three and a half."

The tumbleweed came back.

"Here." Fuji pulled out a piece of paper from his pocket and handed it to Ryuuzaki.

Ryuuzaki looked it over. "Do you ALWAYS carry your birth certificate around with you?" she questioned quizzically.

"Yes." Fuji answered.

Ryuuzaki looked at it more carefully. "Oh." she said. "You're born on February 29th."

There was a slight pause.

"I guess that does really only make you three and a half." She concluded.

"I'll be four in two years." Fuji said proudly.

"All right, that makes sense." Shrugged Ryuuzaki and everyone else agreed.

Except the players. "HEY WAIT." Said Kirihara. "I was still born AFTER him."

"We all were, actually." Mizuki commented.

"Even though Fuji was actually born first out of you five, he is technically the youngest." Banji said.

"Yes." Said Fuji. "Technically."

His team grumbled a bit, as did the opposing team, but as long as the coaches were convinced, it's not like they could do anything on the matter.

"What a brilliant plan." Said Tezuka, glaring at Fuji.

"All right, both of you place your elbows on the table." Said Ojii to Aoi and Fuji. "This will be an arm wrestling contest. Standard rules apply!"

"Why are these tiebreakers so lame?" said Yana.

Fuji and Aoi grabbed hands and began to struggle.

"I need more Arrid!" Aoi cried as he sweat like it was nobody's business. "Too… much… pressure…!"

"It's still too early for you to defeat me." Said Fuji as he looked as though he was doing absolutely nothing, and then slammed Aoi's hand down on the table.

"WINNER!" said Sakaki. "SHATS!"

Fuji stood up and only looked down at Aoi as he caressed his arm.

"Somehow, I feel like we got the shaft." Said Tachibana, frowning.


	49. In Which The Rhythm vs Doubles

The Rhythm vs Playing Doubles With Five People  
"I'm so excited to play against Shishido's team, but at the same time, I'm so nervous too!" said Choutarou as his team made their way to the court. 

"Well, try to calm down." Said Gakuto. "Because we're in the first match!"

"I'm just glad I don't have to play against Shishido personally." Choutarou admitted, sighing with relief.

"Good luck to both of you!" said Eiji to Gakuto and Choutarou. "Oishi will not be easy to beat!"

"Oh gosh I KNOW!" said Choutarou. "And after all the hype from dinner where you kept telling me how amazing Oishi was but couldn't give me any specifics, I just don't know if I'll be able to perform at one hundred percent!"

They all stared at Choutarou.

"No, Ootori!" said Momo, grabbing him and leading him away. "You'll be FINE."

"You think so?" Choutarou said thoughtfully.

"I KNOW so!" said Momo. "Just think of Shishido and how proud he'll be!"

"But…" Choutarou started. "Will Shishido really be proud if my team ends up beating his?"

"Look at it this way." Said Marui, popping up in front of him. "If your team beats his team, then he'll always know forever in his heart that you are worthy to be his doubles partner."

"You're right!" said Choutarou, looking determined. "Thanks, guys! You're the best friends I have…except Shishido of course."

"HEY OISHI!" Eiji called, waving his arms around foolishly. "GOOD LUCK!"

Oishi waved back and turned to his team.

"Part of me feels like that team deserves to go to the finals more than us." Oishi reported.

They all gasped. "What makes you say something like that?" said Itsuki.

"Well…" Oishi said. "They work better as a team than we do. We're always at each other's throats and kicking people outside and just look at SHISHIDO!"

They all looked at Shishido.

"Stop thinking like that!" commanded Sengoku. "You have to play well and win the first game so Shishido doesn't have to play, remember?"

"Yeah…I know…" said Oishi but clearly his heart was wavering.

"Just concentrate." Kamio said. "Just get in your rhythm."

"My…rhythm?" Oishi questioned.

"Yeah!" said Kamio. "Just do it! Like Nike!"

Oishi slowly nodded. "…Okay…" he said. "Come on, Itsuki!"

"Will Oishi and Itsuki from The Rhythm please join Ootori and Gakuto from Playing Doubles With Five People on the court?" said Banji as he sat down in the famous referee seat.

"Oh I don't know who to cheer for!" said Eiji, bouncing up and down. "I want our team to win, but I also don't want Oishi to lose! What a dilemma!"

"Oh stop, Eiji!" said Momo as he slapped Eiji across the face. "It's no dilemma! Cheer for Ootori and Gakuto OBVIOUSLY!"

Eiji rubbed his face. "You didn't have to slap me…" he whined.

"Playing Doubles With Five People, it's your serve first." Said Banji.

"Use your Scud Serve to get us an early lead, Ootori!" Gakuto said.

"All right!" said Choutarou.

"LOOK OUT, OISHI!" yelled Eiji. "OOTORI IS GOING TO USE HIS SCUD SERVE TO GET AN EARLY LEAD!" Oishi thanked Eiji gratefully and then Eiji looked at Choutarou and Gakuto who were staring at him questioningly. "Look out for Oishi guys. He knows that you're going to use the Scud Serve to get an early lead."

Momo thwapped Eiji upside the head.

"Well, it won't help them to just know." Said Gakuto confidently. "It was obvious we were going to use it anyway."

"I'll put my heart and soul into it!" said Choutarou excitedly.

He did just that. And because Choutarou's heart and soul was in it, he easily scored the points necessary to quickly end the game. Of course, it could have also been because his Scud Serve is ridiculous, but it also could have been the heart and soul.

They switched courts and the match continued.

"YES!" cheered Sengoku as Oishi got in that stance. "Moon Volley!"

"Oh no!" said Eiji as he covered his eyes.

"MOON VOLLEY!" said Oishi as he did the Moon Volley.

It sailed over everyone's heads, and Oishi was pretty sure it was going to bounce out, but he had never considered the fact that Choutarou was quite the large thirteen-year-old, so he leapt up into the air and smashed the Moon Volley back into the opposing court, scoring another point for his team.

"No…" said Oishi. "The Moon Volley was COUNTERED?"

Eiji peeked through his fingers at Choutarou and Gakuto celebrating.

"YAY!" he cheered.

Then he looked at Oishi's sad face.

"OISHI!" he reached out for his teammate and best friend in the whole world.

"Could this be the end of the game?" said Banji. "One more point and Playing Doubles With Five People wins!"

"Man, Shishido's going to have to play…" Kamio bit his fingernails off as Itsuki served the ball and Gakuto returned it, using his AMAZING acrobatic skillz. They ended up winning the game, therefore winning the match.

"GAME SET AND MATCH!" said Banji.

Playing Doubles With Five People cheered, and Choutarou looked hopefully back at The Rhythm's team bench to see if Shishido had been watching him. Instead, he could distinctly see Shishido lying on the bench… SLEEPING?

Choutarou's face fell.

"What's wrong?" said Marui. "We just won."

"Shishido…slept through my match…" Choutarou said, looking as though someone had just cancelled Christmas. "He… didn't even… watch me…"

Choutarou trudged off to contemplate suicide and his team was just about to chase after him and assure him that it must be a HUGE misunderstanding, but Banji called, "Singles 3! Eiji from Playing Doubles With Five People and versus Kamio from The Rhythm!"

"Don't worry, Eiji." Said Momo. "We'll go after Ootori. You just focus on winning your match!"

"Thanks, Momo!" said Eiji as the two of them put their forearms together in a very supportive manner. Then the entire team ran off to find Choutarou as Eiji made his way to the court.

"All right, listen." Said Sengoku. "We can't lose either of these two games or else we won't even come down to a tiebreaker, considering Shishido's definitely going to lose his game."

"So what are you saying?" Kamio asked.

"DON'T LOSE." Said his whole team.

Kamio went to the court as well.

Eiji looked back and forth between Banji, Kamio, Oishi, his empty team bench and the court in front of him that was just screaming to experience the beauty of his acrobatic tennis.

"The Rhythm to serve!" said Banji.

"I am SO in the rhythm." Said Kamio as he served.

Now THIS was an intense game. With Kamio's super speed and Eiji's acrobatic tennis, it didn't seem like anything was going to get by either of them. The game was very long and very drawn out because both of them were working so hard to accomplish something.

Eiji sought to impress Oishi. That's pretty much it.

Kamio, on the other hand, had a lot more on his plate. Yes, he wanted to impress Tachibana, but there was so much MORE than that! He also had his team's potential victory riding on his shoulders, for if he did not win then they would likely not move onto the next round, considering Shishido would probably end up forfeiting his match. In addition to that, Kamio was also striving to please his teammates since he was on a mission to prove to them that even though he was a second year, he was very good at tennis. He also wanted to prove to the WORLD (AKA everyone who was watching him) that Fudomine was the best team around and that Tachibana was a great coach to take a group of first years and turn them into great tennis players. But above all that, he was in the rhythm.

But, in the end, Eiji's need to impress Oishi triumphed over all of Kamio's dramatic reasons for winning.

"Game set and match!" said Banji, pointing to Eiji. "Playing Doubles With Five People!"

"YAY!" cheered Eiji, jumping up into the air and expecting to land in the loving arms of his entire team, only to land flat on his face. He looked up to see his team had not yet returned from recovering Choutarou. "…Guys?" he sniffed.

Kamio retreated to his bench where his team was less than forgiving.

"Great." Said Sengoku. "Now we pretty much lose. Even if I win my game, Shishido won't win his and we won't even get a chance to go to a tiebreaker."

"Sorry." Said Kamio, looking very depressed.

"NICE JOB EIJI!" Oishi was shouting. Itsuki elbowed Oishi in the stomach. "Ow!" he said, turning around and then realizing that his entire team was mourning. "Oh right." He cleared his throat and then looked sad. "This is bad…"

"The next match is Marui from Playing Doubles With Five People and Sengoku from The Rhythm!" said Banji. "Please take to the court!"

"Well this is pointless…" Sengoku sighed, picking up his racket and going to his baseline.

Everyone waited.

"Where's Marui?" Banji questioned of Eiji.

"Erm…" Eiji said, looking around. "Coming back soon…?"

"If he's not here in five minutes then The Rhythm wins by forfeit!" said Banji.

Kamio distanced himself from his team. All of his goals he was striving to accomplished…for NAUGHT!

"Kamio, it's okay!" said Tachibana as he literally came out of nowhere and put his hand on Kamio's shoulder.

"Tachibana!" said Kamio enthusiastically. "Where did you come from?"

Tachibana looked confused. "I was watching the match." He said. "Didn't you see me? I took the sign you made for me, crossed out 'Tachibana' and wrote in 'Kamio'."

"I DID see that!" said Kamio. "Except you used pencil, so I couldn't really see it, so it looked like you were holding a sign that said 'Tachibana is my hero'."

"Oh." said Tachibana, looking down at the poster. "Now I feel embarrassed."

"Don't be embarrassed, Tachibana!" said Kamio. "I'M the embarrassed one! I needed to win that match for my team! Now we might not go to the finals."

"It's all right, Kamio." Said Tachibana. "My team lost too. We're not going to the finals either."

"No one in Fudomine will be in the finals…" sighed Kamio.

"Don't worry!" said Tachibana, giving Kamio the THUMBS UP. "When it really matters, you WILL see Fudomine in the finals! I can promise you that!"

"Oh Tachibana!" Kamio exclaimed. "You're an inspiration to us ALL!"

"The five minutes is up!" said Banji. "The Rhythm wins!"

"Woo…hoo…" said Sengoku as he trudged back over to his bench.

"Wait, wait." Said Oishi, looking around and noticing that Eiji was STILL alone at his team bench. "Maybe we COULD end up winning!"

"What do you mean?" said Itsuki. "How could we do that?"

"If Momo doesn't come back to play Singles 1, then he forfeits." Oishi explained. "Then we'd go to the tiebreaker and hope for the best!"

"We COULD win!" said Sengoku excitedly.

"AHEM!" said Banji as if he had been clearing his throat for ages, which he might have been. "If Shishido from The Rhythm and Momo from Playing Doubles With Five People don't make their way to the courts then you BOTH will forfeit!"

"Quick!" said Kamio as he shook Shishido, nearly knocking him off the bench.

"He's not waking up…" said Itsuki.

"HEY SHISHIDO!" yelled Sengoku as he slapped Shishido across the face a few times. "WAKE UP!"

Shishido blinked a few times and then hardly opened his eyes, making a noise that really only proved that he was alive, not necessarily that he was ready to play an intense tennis match.

"Don't let us down Shishido!" said Oishi. "All you have to do is stand up straight for five minutes!"

"HEY HEY!" came Eiji's excited voice as he started jumping up and down. The Rhythm spun around to see the rest of Playing Doubles With Five People running up in what might have been slow motion. "I'm so glad you guys made it!"

"I've got to play my match!" said Marui, grabbing his racket, but Eiji put his hand on his. "What?"

"You didn't make it in time for your match." Eiji said solemnly. "You were disqualified. We're at Singles 1 now."

"Aw man…" said Marui sadly.

"That means… it's all up to ME!" said Momo, grabbing his racket and standing up.

"Oh this is all MY fault!" Choutarou fretted. "If only I had told you guys that I had actually just gone off to use the bathroom and was not seeking out a way to kill myself then this would have never happened!"

"We don't blame you, Ootori!" said Gakuto.

"Don't worry, Shishido," said Sengoku as he steadied Shishido on his feet. "You'll do fine. REALLY!"

Slowly, he let go of Shishido's shoulders, and after an elapsed time of about one second, Shishido started tipping and almost did a face plant but luckily Oishi caught him.

"Maybe we should just forfeit…" Oishi suggested.

"Maybe we should…" Itsuki agreed.

"What is going on over here?" came Ryuuzaki's voice as she tapped her foot while crossing her arms and looking disappointed. "Don't tell me that you can't wake Shishido up from his nap that he takes before games."

"Err…" said The Rhythm slowly.

Choutarou looked up after overhearing what Ryuuzaki had just said.

"Shishido never naps before games…" he said quietly.

Then he took it upon himself to go over to The Rhythm's bench and impose his overwhelming presence on the strictly short to average heighted people. He gasped when he saw the state in which Shishido was.

"WHAT is this?" he said.

"It seems as though Shishido has not yet recovered from being sick yesterday." Ryuuzaki reported.

"That's right!" said Choutarou. "Since he missed the challenge yesterday because he was sick."

The Rhythm looked at each other.

"Oh right!" said Kamio. "Yeah! That happened. Yeah, because he was totally sick yesterday BEFORE the challenge and that's why he missed it."

Ryuuzaki eyed them suspiciously. "I'm ashamed of you four!" she said. "Forcing Shishido to play tennis when is CLEARLY not well enough to play!"

The four accused bowed their heads in shame.

"Shishido, I can't believe that they've done this to you!" said Choutarou as he ran over to Shishido and picked him up off the ground as if he weighed absolutely nothing. But then Choutarou realized that Shishido DID weigh something so he backtracked and placed Shishido on the bench.

"Choutarou…is that you?" said Shishido, opening his eyes ever so slightly.

"Yes, I'm here!" said Choutarou. "And what a fool I've been for not noticing you in such a pitiful state! If only I had seen it sooner!"

"It's not your fault…" Shishido said.

"Come on, Shishido, stop acting like you're dying." Said Sengoku.

"Actually…" Oishi said, double-checking the thermometer he had used to take Shishido's temperature when no one was looking.

Sengoku leaned over and stole a glance at it. "Okay fine, you can act like you're dying." He revised.

"SHISHIDO!" Choutarou gasped, slapping his cheeks.

"I am putting my foot down and saying that this team is disqualified from the rest of the tournament!" said Ryuuzaki.

"We would have lost anyway." Said Kamio.

"Take Shishido home this INSTANT and let him rest!" Ryuuzaki said, choosing to ignore Kamio's previous comment.

She went onto the courts and informed Banji of what had just taken place.

"Wait, do I get to play tennis?" Momo asked.

"Nope!" said Banji. "Playing Doubles With Five People wins! They will go to the finals against SHATS!"

"HURRAY!" cheered everyone on the doubles team except for Momo who looked slightly devastated.


	50. In Which Losing Teams Lament

Intermission  
The Prince of Tennis and Friends  
"You know what, guys?" said Saeki to his two teammates as the three of them chillaxed in the living room. 

"What?" they both said.

"We don't have anything to be ashamed of." He said.

"What are you talking about?" Hiyoshi questioned.

"About the game." Saeki said. "Do you guys realize who we were up against? That team was OUTRAGEOUS! I think we did great, bringing them all the way to a tiebreaker situation!"

"Yeah…" said Sakurai. "I think you're right."

They heard the front door open, and in walked Yukimura and Ryoma, both looking perfectly healthy, except Ryoma had on two eye patches.

"Hey Ryoma, why are you wearing two eye patches?" said Saeki.

"Well," said Ryoma. "When I got the hospital, the doctor said I was exaggerating my pain and that I wasn't really bleeding out of the eyes. But I didn't want to leave empty handed so I grabbed some eye patches and some tongue depressors."

Ryoma held up the tongue depressors and lifted the eye patches up onto his forehead.

"Oh." said Sakurai. "That's silly."

"How about you, Yukimura?" said Hiyoshi. "How are you doing?"

"Oh, I'm still as medically fragile as ever." Said Yukimura.

"Well, at least we're all back together again." Sakurai shrugged. "Saeki was just talking about how we should be proud of how we did in the tournament, and we've finally all gotten around to agreeing with him."

Yukimura and Ryoma looked at each other.

"Um…SURE…" they said uneasily.

"I guess when your expectations are so low…" Ryoma shrugged, tossing the tongue depressors and the eye patches on the table.

The Snakes  
Akutsu was sitting in the kitchen puffing smoke like a big old dragon and he was making the others cough. Even after they had opened up all the windows in the house, they were still quite overwhelmed with second hand smoke. 

"What are you, a chimney?" said Oshitari finally.

"I thought you were going to quit!" said Kaidou.

"I WAS." Said Akutsu.

"And how come we never noticed you smoking a single time before you brought it up earlier today and now you can't seem to stop smoking?" Ryou questioned.

"Because, up until now I always did it outside." Said Akutsu.

"Why the change of heart?" Atsushi asked.

"Because now I don't care anymore." Akutsu shrugged.

"Well stop." Said Kaidou. "What good is all of my endurance training if you're just going to fill my lungs with second hand smoke?"

"I don't want to hear another word about it!" Akutsu threatened.

Oshitari looked at Kaidou and the twins, and then they all nodded at each other. He whipped out a frying pan from behind his back, and slowly the four of them made a quiet assault on Akutsu, hitting him over the head with a blunt object. The frying pan.

As Akutsu fell limply to the floor, they collected up his cigarette and tossed it outside.

"Even though that was a little extreme, I think we got our point across." Said Ryou.

"Yes." Said Atsushi. "But I'm not going to sleep tonight."

"Neither are we." Everyone agreed.

The Team That Is Better Than Shuusuke's Team  
"I can't believe it." Said Yuuta. "I just CAN'T BELIEVE IT!" 

He continued to grumble as everyone else tried to ignore him.

"My brother's team ended up making it to the finals!" he went on. "WE could have definitely made it to the finals! We could have played against them! And guess what? Our coaches said we could switch around the lineup so I could have played against him!"

They all blocked their ears.

"Unbelievable." Yuuta muttered to himself. "Just unbelievable…"

They tried giving him disparaging looks, but he didn't seem to notice.

"That Atobe…if I ever get him in a room alone…"

Yuuta looked up and then realized that Atobe was in the Parents room right then and there as he was talking to himself, while the rest of the family was all sitting in the living room.

Slowly, Yuuta got to his feet.

"Guys…" he said, slowly back stepping towards the bedrooms. "I'm gonna go and um…go over here…"

"Yuuta, wait." Said Jackal standing up.

"Yeah, hang on a second." Bane agreed.

"Shh…" said Shinji as he tried to watch television.

"If you go in there and kill Atobe right now then you'd just be sinking to your brother's level." Said Jackal.

"…What?" Yuuta looked betrayed.

"And I thought you didn't ever want to be like him." Bane commented. "And killing Atobe for something like this is something that only he would do."

Yuuta sighed and looked defeated. "As much as I hate to admit it, you guys are right." He put his hands on their shoulders. "Thank you for preventing me for making a horrible mistake. The consequences of accidentally doing something that my brother would do are far more dire than the consequences of murder in my book."

"That's the spirit." Said Jackal.

"Now let's continue watching America's Funniest Home Videos." Said Bane as they all went back into the living room.

ii Data  
"I am so glad I went to the tennis matches." Said Inui as he recorded information in his data book.

"You were gone?" Tetsu said as he observed Inui walking in.

"Yes." Said Inui. "I was gathering data and I found out something very important about Fuji Shuusuke."

"Oh?" said the others.

"His BIRTHDAY." Inui said as he wrote in 'February 29th' instead of 'unknown'.

"Well, then I suppose it was a worthwhile waste of time." Sanada sighed.

"I think the next order of business is being confident enough to erase this question mark…" Inui tapped his book.

Renji leaned over Inui's shoulder. "Inui, with all due respect," he began. "But don't you think that the fact that Fuji plays on the BOY'S tennis team is proof enough of his gender?"

Inui shook his head. "You would be surprised."

"Guys, I'm kind of glad that we didn't win!" said Jirou as he stretched out on the floor. "Because now we get to relax and go to bed early!"

"Not me." Said Inui. "I'm going to the finals to see the matches. I'm sure they will be the greatest of them all."

"Perhaps I will join you…" said Renji. "If there's nothing good on television."

"Only a Spongebob Squarepants marathon." Said Tetsu, flicking through the channels.

Renji and Inui looked at each other, then at the clock and sighed. Both sat down.

Pillars  
"My arm STILL hurts." Said Aoi, getting a new ice pack from the freezer. 

"That's MY line." Said Tezuka, taking the ice pack from Aoi's hand.

"Come on!" whined Aoi. "I was in an arm wrestling competition!"

"Well, this is my recurring injury that always comes back to haunt me at the worst of times." Tezuka said.

"I've been meaning to ask you about that, Tezuka." Said Tachibana with a frown. "What is WITH that recurring injury of yours? It always comes back to haunt you…"

"At the worst of times, I know." Tezuka said.

"What's with it?" David further inquired.

"I can't explain it." Tezuka said. "It is unfortunate and ever so recurring. I let my guard down during the match and got careless. At this rate, even if I use the Tezuka Zone, I hardly think I am a sufficient pillar for Seigaku." Then he looked at his teammates. "Twenty laps."

"Why?" they all said.

"Because I said so." Tezuka replied. "What more do you need?"

"Tezuka…just no." said Aoi. "Whenever you tell us to run laps, we just go outside and pretend to do it just so you'll leave us alone."

"But we're tired of doing that too." Tachibana added. "It's time you stopped thinking you're in control of this household."

"Plus, it's raining." Said David.

Tezuka looked disappointed. "I am disappointed." He reported.

"Well…okay…" said the others.

"Thirty laps." Tezuka revised. "And don't let me catch you PRETENDING."

"Come on, let's watch television in the other room." Said Tachibana as he went into the living room. The others followed him and Tezuka only stood there with his ice pack.

"Once again…" he muttered. "I have let my guard down…"

The Rhythm…  
"So how much of a bummer is it that we got disqualified from the tournament?" Sengoku said. 

"Not that much." Kamio admitted. "I mean, Shishido would have forfeited his match at that point anyway so we would have lost."

"This is all Shishido's fault!" said Sengoku, clearly choosing to ignore Kamio's comment. "I mean, there was no reason for him to come home that day acting all crazy, thus FORCING us to lock him in the bathroom with the air conditioning on full blast!"

"Sengoku…" said Oishi with a sigh. "Do you think that maybe you're just biased because you like yourself and don't like Shishido?"

Sengoku sighed and slumped in his chair. "Yeah, probably." He said.

"I think we all need to just calm down and evaluate the situation." Said Oishi. "We'll take Shishido's temperature every once and a while and do what we can to keep him from dying."

"Do you think we should call an ambulance or something?" Itsuki said.

"No." said Oishi. "That would make us look bad."

"Yeah, how are we supposed to explain this to the paramedics, huh?" Sengoku agreed.

"I thought we were going to try to do what we can to keep Shishido from dying." Itsuki said.

"Well…" the other three looked at each other.

"As long as it doesn't involve leaving the house." Kamio said.

"Ooohhhh…okay." Itsuki nodded.

"But we shouldn't let Shishido's deathly sickness stop us from having a fun time!" said Sengoku. "Who wants to play Mario 3?"

"ME!" they all yelled as they made a mad dash for the video game controllers.

Next up: THE MATCH OF THE CENTURY!!


	51. In Which SHATS vs Doubles

The Finals  
SHATS vs Playing Doubles With Five People  
"Who would have EVER thought that the final match would come down between THESE TWO TEAMS?" said Sakaki dramatically as he pointed at the two teams that were in the finals. 

"SHATS!" said Ryuuzaki, pointing at the team that named themselves so very well. "Composed of Fuji and Taka from Seigaku, Mizuki and Yanagisawa from St. Rudolph and Kirihara from Rikkai Dai!"

"This team played against The Prince of Tennis and Friends in their first match, and it came down to an edge of your seat staring competition." Said Banji. "And in their second match, they played against Pillars, and that also came down to an edge of your seat arm wrestling competition! This team is clearly a fan of tiebreakers."

"CLEARLY." Said the whole team.

"And, of course, we have Playing Doubles With Five People!" said Ryuuzaki. "Composed of Momo and Eiji from Seigaku, Ootori and Gakuto from Hyoutei and Marui from Rikkai Dai!"

"THIS team initially played against ii Data in their first round!" said Banji. "They swept the competition in the first three matches, not even having to use their final player! Then, in their second match against The Rhythm, they clinched another win because the other team had to forfeit!"

"This is truly a clash between titans." Said Ojii. "And we can only hope it is as exciting of a match as all the previous ones have been."

"With a total of FOUR Seigaku players, two Hyoutei players, two St. Rudolph players and two Rikkai Dai players…" Ryuuzaki went on, and then trailed off. "One wonders… where is Fudomine and Rokkaku and Yamabuki?"

Ryuuzaki and Sakaki looked over at Banji and Ojii deviously.

"WELL." Said Ojii, crossing his arms. "Keep in mind that you both brought your ENTIRE teams, while we only brought PART of ours."

"Yeah." Said Banji. "You guys had a bigger chance."

"SURE SURE!" the other two chuckled.

"Well, I must say that all of you had amazing speeches and whatnot, but can we get to the tennis already?" Mizuki requested.

"HERE HERE!" cheered the rest of the eager tennis players.

"Oh very well!" said Ryuuzaki as she ran to the referee seat. "Let's get started right away with our doubles match! Ootori and Gakuto from Playing Doubles With Five People versus Taka and Fuji from SHATS!"

Silence blew over the court.

"Hyoutei versus Seigaku…" some whispered.

"Pressure!" said Gakuto to his teammates. "Those two usually play together and we don't!"

Gakuto looked up at Choutarou who appeared EVER so nervous.

"It's all right, though." Gakuto assured him.

"It's not that…" Choutarou admitted. "It's just… I'm worried about Shishido."

"You have to get your mind off of him for your match." Said Eiji. "I know you're upset that you didn't notice that he's been deathly ill this whole time you've been within a hundred feet of him, but we have to pull through and win this!"

"It's important that everybody knows that doubles is the best!" said Marui.

"Besides," said Momo. "I really want to see someone beat Fuji and Taka!"

"Neither of us have ever played against either of them before…" said Gakuto, looking worriedly at the opposing team. "I wonder if we'll do okay…"

Meanwhile, SHATS was having its own discussion.

"Guys, what do you think about this shirt?" Mizuki said. "Is it too much? Is the collar too much?"

"Yeah, probably just a little too much." Yana admitted.

"I don't know." Taka shrugged. "It looks fine to me."

"I think it's ugly." Kirihara said truthfully.

"No comment." Fuji said, pretending to be interested in his fingernails.

"HELLO?" yelled Ryuuzaki. "Could we get this started?"

"SORRY!" said all those who were playing doubles as they rushed to the court.

"Do you really think my shirt is ugly?" Mizuki said to Kirihara.

"Yes." Said Kirihara. "Yes I do."

"Playing Doubles With Five People to serve!" said Ryuuzaki.

"Here you go, Ootori." Said Gakuto, tossing Choutarou the ball, but Choutarou was OBVIOUSLY in a dream world or something because the ball hit him in the face, but at least it woke him up.

"Oh, sorry…" said Choutarou as he retrieved the ball. "I guess I'm just worried about Shishido…that's all…"

"You have to get your head in the game." Said Gakuto.

"I know…" said Choutarou. "I just…I'm worried about him… he was really sick… and I feel like I should be doing something to help instead of playing tennis…"

"There's nothing you can do right now!" said Gakuto. "So let's get through this match, all right?"

Choutarou nodded. "All right." He said, and then he proceeded to fail at serving.

"Double fault!" said Ryuuzaki. "15-0!"

"Come on, Ootori!" called Momo from the sidelines. "Don't worry about it!"

"Yeah!" said Marui. "Just concentrate!"

"…Right…" said Choutarou. "_Everyone's depending on me to serve well so we can get an early lead. But then again, Shishido's depending on me too because he's very sick and I should be helping him and…"_

"Double fault!" said Ryuuzaki. "30-0!"

Choutarou took a deep breath. "I have to calm down." He said.

Taka and Fuji just looked at each other and shrugged.

"Just try to get it over the net." Gakuto said, trying to sound supportive.

But Choutarou knew that if it was SHISHIDO, he would have sounded MUCH more supportive than that.

"Double fault!" said Ryuuzaki. "40-0!"

"This is bad." Said Eiji, covering his eyes.

Choutarou stood up straight and bounced the ball a few times. "I have to do this right!" he said. "I'll put my whole heart and soul into it, because that's what Shishido would have wanted!"

"That's the spirit!" said Gakuto.

Choutarou threw the ball up into the air and served it again, and it went over the net! Hurrah! But, somehow, Taka returned it quite easily with the TWO HANDED HADOUKYUU!

"BUUUURRRRNING!" he screamed.

The ball bounced right in the court and then out of bounds. Gakuto and Choutarou didn't even have a chance to react because they didn't expect anyone to return it, especially so EASILY!

"Game!" said Ryuuzaki. "Switch courts!"

"What was that all about?" Gakuto said as the two of them went to the bench. "How did Taka return that so easily?"

"Ootori, that serve was very disappointing." Said Sakaki, looking awfully disappointed. "Not to mention all of those faults you got beforehand."

"Aw…man…" said Choutarou sadly.

"You have to get your mind off Shishido's potentially fatal condition!" said Gakuto. "Look at me! I'M over it!"

"I know…" said Choutarou. "But I'm just so worried about him…"

Both teams went back to their sides.

"It looks like they're off their games today." Said Taka to Fuji.

Fuji shook his head. "I don't think so." He said. "It's only Ootori." He gave a sigh. "It's a shame, though. We were never challenged in any of our doubles matches. I was looking forward to having a good game against these two."

"So, do you want to serve now?" said Taka with a shrug.

"I suppose." Said Fuji, taking the ball.

Needless to say, Fuji dominated his service game UNLIKE Choutarou. When it came down to the final point, Gakuto jumped to receive the volley only to miss it. Choutarou was there to hit it back, however.

"I did it!" Choutarou exclaimed happily as he watched the ball sail over the net.

"It's still too early for you to defeat me." Said Fuji as he Tsubame Gaeshied the ball back to the other side.

"GAME SET AND MATCH!" said Ryuuzaki.

"Was that necessary?" said Mizuki as Fuji and Taka returned to the bench. "You two were clearly going to win."

"Of course it was necessary." Said Fuji, looking slightly cross, but quickly covering it up with happiness.

Choutarou and Gakuto were better received even though they had just lost.

"I'm sorry everyone." Said Choutarou, sitting down on the bench and burying his face in his hands. "I let you all down!"

"Don't worry!" said Eiji. "We still have three more matches to make it up in! We're gonna be fine!"

"Really!" said Marui.

"I'm just glad Shishido wasn't here to see what a horrible job I did!" Choutarou whined.

"Well, actually, if Shishido was here then I doubt you would have done a bad job since the reason you did a bad job was because you were worrying about Shishido's well being." Momo pointed out.

"I guess you're right…" Choutarou whimpered.

"Singles 3!" said Ryuuzaki. "Yana from SHATS and Eiji from Playing Doubles With Five People, please take the court!"

"Wish me luck everyone!" said Yana.

"Like you need it." Said Kirihara.

"Aww…!" said Yana, looking happy. "You really mean that?"

"Yeah, duh." Said Kirihara.

"What he means is that you don't need luck because you're obviously going to lose and it would be stupid to waste luck on you." Said Mizuki.

Yana deflated with unhappiness. "Oh." he frowned as he trudged to the court.

"So unfortunate." Fuji commented. "Yet…so true at the same time."

"Well, Fuji, not EVERYONE can be as good at tennis as you!" said Taka.

Fuji considered this. "You're right, Taka." Said Fuji. "As usual."

"SHATS to serve!" said Ryuuzaki.

"Okay…" said Eiji, mumbling to himself. "Oishi's not here to support me and watch me play but I have to be strong for the sake of my team. After all, I'm one of the older students and I have to be sure to set a good example. How can I tell Ootori to focus on the game and not his doubles player if I myself can't even do it?"

Yana served the ball, the Eiji made a dive for it with acrobatic tennis sending it back to the other side with brilliant expertise.

"15-0!" Ryuuzaki announced as the ball went right by Yana.

"Here we go again." Said the rest of the SHATS team as they watched in horror as Eiji used probably every one of his little tricks that he could think of against Yana, though it was hardly necessary. But he figured that since Taka and Fuji had used all THEIR tricks against his teammates when it wasn't necessary, it was only fair.

"Game set and match!" said Ryuuzaki. "Winner: Playing Doubles With Five People! Excellent job, Eiji!"

"Thanks, Coach!" said Eiji.

"Hey, you have to stay unbiased!" yelled Sakaki.

"Whatever!" said Ryuuzaki. "I am just SO distracted by the fact that Taka and Fuji, both of which are on Seigaku, won THEIR match and now Eiji, who is ALSO on Seigaku, has won his match as well!"

"Come off your high horse!" yelled the male coaches.

"I guess you guys were right." Said Yana to his team. "I DID lose."

"Obviously." Said Kirihara.

"It's all right, Yana." Said Taka supportively. "We still like you. As a friend."

"I should hope only as such." Fuji interjected.

Taka wanted to look at Fuji and say, "Fuji, please, you're creeping me out." But he decided against it at LITERALLY the last second.

"Let's continue right along!" said Ryuuzaki. "Singles 2! Mizuki from SHATS versus Marui from Playing Doubles With Five People!"


	52. In Which SHATS vs Doubles Concluded

"Go Marui!" said Eiji excitedly as he made his way to the bench and Marui stood up.

"We believe in you!" exclaimed Gakuto.

"Yeah!" said Choutarou. "Good luck!"

"Like you'll NEED it!" said Momo.

Marui eagerly gripped his racket and ran out onto the court. Mizuki was already standing there with his own racket of course.

"What's your record so far?" Marui asked.

"My record?" inquired Mizuki.

"In this tournament." Marui clarified. "Have you won twice? Lost twice? Won once and lost once? Who'd you play against?"

Mizuki twirled some hair around his finger.

"My first match was against Yukimura." Mizuki said.

"Oh really?" said Marui. "You must have lost that match!"

"Actually, I won." Mizuki said.

"You did?" gasped Marui.

"Yeah, because Yukimura had to forfeit." Kirihara called from the sidelines.

"Oh." Said Marui with a frown. "Well, that makes sense then."

"Nevertheless." Said Mizuki. "I still won that match."

"You didn't win against Tachibana though!" Kirihara laughed.

"Will you just shut up?" Mizuki demanded angrily as he shook his fist at Kirihara. Kirihara only laughed in Mizuki's face, and Fuji was ABOUT to slap Kirihara five but then he realized that he hated Kirihara too so he just randomly turned around and slapped Taka five. Taka instinctively slapped Fuji five right back just because no one can resist a high five, but in retrospect he pondered the random high five and wondered if maybe Fuji was plotting to kill him for drugging his orange juice.

"Well, I played against Jirou first and I beat him!" said Marui as he bounced the ball he was holding since he had the first serve just in case you didn't know. "I had to forfeit my second match because I had to search for one of my teammates, but I bet I would have won that one too!"

"So we have the same record." Mizuki said. "One loss and one tie."

"Hardly." Said Marui, raising an eyebrow. "My loss was because of a forfeit. Your WIN was because of a forfeit."

"Just serve the ball!" Mizuki ordered, getting frustrated.

"All right!" said Marui as he served the ball in some kind of Marui-specific way.

Playing Doubles With Five People cheered enthusiastically for Marui for every hit and had the token side commentary in which they explained everything they saw and all the moves that were taking place. Meanwhile, SHATS were all sitting around seeing who could balance a racket on their foot the longest.

"Game! Change courts!" said Ryuuzaki.

Mizuki came back to the bench and his team looked up quizzically from their mini competition.

"It's over already?" said Yana.

"No." said Mizuki. "We're just switching courts."

Mizuki took a sip from his water and headed to the other side.

"Notice how he didn't mention whether he won or lost." Kirihara said.

"Poor Mizuki." Said Fuji.

"It's strange that you're pitying him." Taka commented.

"Why are you even pitying him?" Yana questioned. "He seems all right."

"Wait." Fuji said as a shadow covered half his face.

His team all moved away from him and decided to pay attention to the game a little bit more.

Mizuki decided it was time to prove everyone wrong because they were all giving him crap about failing to beat Tachibana. So therefore, he had to beat Marui, or at least get a point against him since he had yet to score a single point in the entire tournament. Granted, he only played one game and it was against freaking TACHIBANA but…whatever.

"40-15!" Ryuuzaki said.

"You've suddenly picked up your game!" Marui commented.

"So you've noticed!" said Mizuki as he served.

"Game!" said Ryuuzaki as the ball bounced past Marui and landed outside. "SHATS!"

"One more game…" said Momo. "This'll decide it."

"It's important for us to win this match." Said Eiji. "Because if we win it then we only need to win one more and we win the tournament. But if we lose, then we'll have to win the last game just to be able to take it to a tiebreaker."

"Don't worry!" said Choutarou. "We'll definitely be able to do it!"

"Because we are…" Gakuto said, putting his hand in.

"PLAYING DOUBLES WITH FIVE PEOPLE!" they all shouted, jumping up into the air.

Marui caught sight of his team's cheers, got inspired and then started glowing yellow.

"I didn't want to reveal this until the nationals…" Marui said.

"Oh no…" said Kirihara, leaning forward.

"What is it?" Taka asked.

"It's…THE MARUI ZONE." Said Kirihara dramatically.

"MARUI ZONE?" gasped everyone.

"Is it anything like the Tezuka Zone?" asked Fuji, looking intrigued.

"No." said Kirihara. "It's just a coincidence that they are both referred to as a zone."

"Oh." Said Fuji, looking less than interested.

As it turned out, the Marui Zone was essentially just Marui pretending like he was going to hit the ball forehand and then leaping to the other side of the ball and hitting it backhand.

Everyone who was watching used the collective eyebrow raising sound effect.

"What's the point of that?" Yana said, his eyebrow still ultra raised.

"It's confusing." Kirihara answered as they watched Mizuki be SO confused that he missed the ball.

"15-0!" said Ryuuzaki.

"That seems like more trouble to Marui than to Mizuki." Eiji whispered to Momo.

"And why does he call it the Marui Zone?" Momo whispered back. "That's just pointless."

"The deadly Marui Zone…" said Mizuki to himself as he watched Marui look so very focused. "I have to keep an eye out for that…"

The match continued, but with Marui's new MARUI ZONE, Mizuki couldn't win another point.

"Game set and match!" said Ryuuzaki. "Playing Doubles With Five People!"

"All right!" cheered the aforementioned team as they celebrated.

"I suck." Said Mizuki sadly as he dropped his racket.

He looked around as no one objected, and felt even sadder because he realized that fishing for compliments among this group wasn't exactly going to work out in his favor.

"Singles 1!" said Ryuuzaki. "Momo from Playing Doubles With Five People versus Kirihara from SHATS!"

"Kirihara, you have to win this match or else we can't even go to the tiebreaker." Said Yana.

"Me?" said Kirihara confidently. "Lose against MOMO? Oh please!" He stood up and walked to the court.

Momo looked at his team. "Guys," he said. "This is going to be my first game in the tournament! And I'm playing against KIRIHARA."

"Don't worry about it." Said Gakuto. "You'll do FINE!"

"You really think so?" said Momo with a sparkle in his eye.

"Of course!" said Gakuto as he pat Momo on the back. Momo skipped off to play in his match and Gakuto leaned over to Marui. "He's not going to win, is he?"

"Not a chance." Marui answered.

"Momo, you can serve first." Said Ryuuzaki pleasantly.

"Thanks coach!" said Momo.

"But their team served first last time!" Kirihara pointed out.

"Calm down, you'll get your turn!" Ryuuzaki snapped.

"BIASED REF!" yelled the rest of the coaches.

Well, the match commenced. In the end, even though Momo got to serve first and had the referee on his side, he didn't end up winning. Alas. Kirihara pretty much pwned his arse. That's right. He didn't just OWN him, he PWNED him.

"Told you." Said Kirihara as he went back to his team. "No problem."

"Whatever." Said his team.

"Sorry guys…" said Momo sadly but his entire team comforted him tenderly.

"Let's move right to the tiebreaker so you guys can all head home!" said Ojii as he gestured for the other coaches. They all came running in with a portable basketball hoop that stood at about eight feet and set it up in the middle of the tennis court.

"Are we playing basketball against each other?" Momo asked.

"No." said Ojii. "Each team will pick one person from their team to play a game that we like to call The-First-Person-Who-Misses-Loses."

"Ohh…" said both the teams.

"But I bet there's a certain requirement for who we pick…?" led Mizuki.

"Yes." Said Ojii. "Please, the person on your team who has won the most of the four challenges we have had!"

Playing Doubles With Five People all looked at each other. "Well, I've won one." Said Momo.

"I've won three." Choutarou said as if that didn't mean that he was obviously the one that had to play.

"YES!" cheered everyone so Choutarou jumped in surprise.

"What?" he said.

"Ootori, obviously you're tall." Said Eiji.

"Yes, I know." Choutarou said.

"Well just look at that basketball net." Said Gakuto. "You can reach it flatfooted."

Choutarou observed the basketball net. "I don't know about flatfooted. I would probably have to jump a little bit, or stand on my tiptoes."

"WHATEVER." Said the rest of the team.

Meanwhile, SHATS was still trying to establish who had won the most.

"Well, I remember I definitely one the first challenge." Said Taka.

"And I won the second." Fuji added.

"I won the most recent one." Kirihara said.

They all paused.

"So…who won the third one?" Yana asked. "I didn't."

"Me either." Mizuki said.

There was another pause. "Oh wait." Said Fuji, raising his hand. "That was me. I remember now."

SHATS stared at him. "You're going to do our tiebreaker AGAIN?" said Kirihara.

"I suppose so." Fuji smiled pleasantly.

"Could we have the person from each team step forth?" said Ojii.

Choutarou came forward, as did Fuji.

"Ahh…Ootori." Said Fuji, putting his hands together like Mr. Burns. "Once again it's down to you and me."

Choutarou froze and suddenly remembered the musical chairs incident.

"Oh…you're not still mad are you?" Choutarou asked.

"Mad?" Fuji chuckled as Ojii handed Choutarou a basketball. "You should know. I don't get mad."

"That's a relief!" said Choutarou as he turned to the basketball net to make his first shot.

Fuji waited until the second before Choutarou was going to release the ball and then he made a scary eye opening noise. "I get even." He said in an equally scary voice.

Choutarou immediately freaked out and the ball sailed about seventeen feet over the net.

Everyone on his team just stood there in shock.

"And…so…" said Ojii slowly. "Ootori misses his first shot, so if Fuji makes this shot then SHATS officially wins."

"My turn." Fuji said as Sakaki retrieved the ball and handed it to him. Fuji stared at the basketball. "It's heavier than I expected." He commented.

"Even though Ootori missed the first shot, there's no way Fuji's gonna be able to get one in, right?" Yana asked Taka quietly, as if Taka should know about Fuji's skills in basketball.

"You'd be surprised." Taka admitted.

Fuji stared at the basketball net for a little bit, then at the ball. Choutarou was woeing in the corner because of how much of a failure he had been recently.

Finally, Fuji turned his back to the net and closed his eyes. Everyone watched curiously as he threw the ball over his head, it sailed straight towards the net and SWISHED.

"Nothing but net!" Taka exclaimed, throwing his hands up into the air.

"Oh Taka." Said Fuji, looking ultimately pleased with Taka's reaction.

"Winners!" said Ojii. "SHATS!"

"Nice job, this team." Said Ryuuzaki to SHATS. "You all performed very well, and the fact that you won the entire tournament certainly showed that."

"Yeah well, we do what we can." Shrugged SHATS.

Then everyone stared at each other.

"Well, you can leave now." Sakaki said. "NOW."

"Okay, okay…" said the young people, looking dejected as they walked off.


	53. In Which the Power Goes Out

Night Five  
Team One  
"I am happy with myself because I won every single competition I was in today." Fuji said as he and his family entered their little house. "Including the entire tournament and all the tiebreakers."

"Um…we're happy for you too, Fuji." Said Yana.

"How wonderful." Said Fuji.

"Oh look!" said Taka as he picked up an envelope that was on the kitchen table. He looked at the name on the front. "It's for you, Fuji."

"We've never received a letter at night before." Said Kirihara as Fuji took the letter and opened it.

"It says, _Your special prize will arrive tomorrow morning. And, remember, this is the last night in your houses, everyone._" Fuji read. "_You are permitted to leave and return to your own homes at noon tomorrow, no earlier."_ Fuji suddenly stopped and looked up. "That's all."

"Neat!" said Taka. "Too bad we have to wait until tomorrow morning to get our special prize though. It makes it kind of pointless, especially if we leave at noon."

"I hope it's another cake." Said Yana.

"That's all the letter said?" Mizuki said, looking strangely at Fuji. "Then why was it addressed to you?"

"Oh." Said Fuji, looking at the letter again. "Well, it also says that I won the individual competition for the day, and therefore I should change the family roles before we go to bed."

"WHAT?" yelled Kirihara, tearing the letter out of Fuji's hands and reading it over. "That's not fair! I was finally the Dad! I was finally going to be able to sleep in the big bed!"

"I don't know what the big deal about the big bed is." Said Taka. "I would rather be a Brother or Sister because then you wouldn't have to share with anyone."

"It's not like it matters anymore anyway." Yana pointed out. "After we got that second couch and all."

"Hm…yes…" said Fuji. "About that…"

They all leaned over to see that BOTH of their couches were missing.

"Um…where did our couches go?" said Mizuki.

"Oh, I got rid of them." Fuji said.

Everyone stared at him.

"Why?" they all said. "How? When?"

"The new family assignments are as follows." Fuji began. "Taka will be the Dad and I will be the Mom. Mizuki, you will be the Pet. Kirihara and Yana can fight over the Brother and Sister roles because I don't really care. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go get changed for bed."

Fuji departed.

"Hey Taka," said Yana slowly. "Don't you think it's a little creepy how EVERY TIME he wins, he always makes himself the Mom and you the Dad?"

"Yes." Said Taka, looking uncomfortable.

"Guys, I think I found our couches." Said Mizuki, pointing out the window.

They all looked out the window to see two couches in the backyard, but they were both aflame. In the rain. Yes.

"Lame." They all said.

"Now where am I supposed to sleep?" Mizuki sand angrily.

"You could sleep on the floor…?" Kirihara suggested.

"I refuse to sleep on the floor!" said Mizuki.

"Oh!" said Taka. "I think there were sleeping bags in the shed!"

"Wait, no," said Yana, looking more closely at the burning couches. "The sleeping bags are in the bonfire as well."

Kirihara pushed Yana out of the way and looked at the pile of burning furniture.

"Why is he allowed to get away with that?" he asked, looking back at his so called family members. He looked so ultimately offended by what he was witnessing, and who could blame him?

The rest of the family gathered around the window and observed Fuji's handiwork.

"Because he's FUJI." Everyone answered.

Team Two  
"Does the rain look like it's going to stop anytime soon?" Eiji said, looking out the window woefully.

"I don't think so." Said Gakuto with a sigh.

"I wanted to get some real use out of our slide…" Eiji said, reaching his hand out the window just to double check that the rain he was seeing VISUALLY was actually there. Sadly, he was not hallucinating.

"Guys, I think we did pretty well in the tournament today." Momo said somewhat randomly. "We made it all the way to the end. It came down to a basketball toss and we were just unlucky."

"Oh dear." Said Choutarou as he stopped stirring the homemade chicken soup he was making with so much love and totally from scratch. "I think it's all my fault we didn't win today."

"Why would you say something like that?" said Marui.

"Because it's true…" Choutarou said sadly. "I did terribly in my match, and if I hadn't done so terribly then we would have maybe won that game and we wouldn't have even had to go to the tiebreaker. And then I wouldn't have had the opportunity to make an even bigger fool of myself!"

Choutarou looked like he was about to burst into tears AGAIN, but Eiji ran over and comforted him.

"It's all right, Ootori!" he said. "You did everything you could! And we don't mind at all!"

Choutarou sniffed. "Really?" he said.

"Yeah!" said Eiji. "Besides, you didn't even do THAT bad!"

Choutarou looked at the letter on the counter. "But that letter said that I did so badly in the last game that that's why they took the individual win away from me and gave it to you." He pointed out.

Eiji paused and looked at the letter. "Who cares what our coaches say!" Eiji declared.

"I suppose it can't be helped." Choutarou said finally.

"By the way, Eiji, do you plan on changing the family at all?" Gakuto asked.

"I hadn't planned on it." Eiji answered. "Why? Do you have any preferences?"

"Well…" Gakuto said slowly. "I'd kind of like to NOT be the Sister anymore."

"Don't change anything unless you're making me the Dad." Momo said threateningly.

"All right!" said Eiji. "Fine! I wasn't going to change anyone anyway! Geez!"

He sat down at the kitchen table, and the others joined him except for Choutarou who continued making his loving chicken noodle soup.

"How long until that's ready, Ootori?" Marui asked. "I'm starving."

"Oh." Said Choutarou. "You guys can uh…there's leftovers in the refrigerator…"

"Leftovers?" everyone gasped.

"Yeah…" said Choutarou. "I don't think I'll have time to make dinner tonight."

"Why, because you're too busy making…dinner?" Momo said skeptically.

"Oh, this isn't dinner." Choutarou said as he pulled a Tupperware bowl out of a cabinet and started pouring the soup into it. "This is for Shishido to help him feel better."

The others looked at each other.

"Is someone coming over to pick it up?" Gakuto asked.

"No." said Choutarou as he took a raincoat out of the closet and started putting it on. "I'm going to go over right now and drop it off! If you put the leftovers in the microwave for about a minute and a half, then you should be all right. There's also some dolphin safe tuna in the pantry, or you could even just make some Easy Mac!"

Choutarou was finishing up this sentence as he slid out the door and into the pouring ran with the soup under his arm.

The rest of the team was only looking at each other with gaping mouths.

"Our…DINNER." They all said, sounding devastated.

Team Three  
Everyone was sitting at the kitchen table except they weren't using any of the actual kitchen table chairs. Instead, they were using the beanbag chair, Tachibana's chair and the three comfy chairs they had. They DID have a reason for using these chairs instead, mind you.

Whence they received the letter from the coaches that informed them who the individual winner was, Tachibana became so angry that he smashed all of the kitchen chairs. Him and his crazy temper.

Tezuka sat in the beanbag chair because he had since claimed that one as his own.

"Why did you win?" said Tachibana suddenly, slamming his hands down on the table. "WHY DID YOU WIN."

Tezuka folded his hands.

"The letter explained why I won." He reminded him.

Tachibana picked up the letter. "_For sheer determination and pushing through the pain and your recurring injury for the betterment of your team, we award you, Tezuka, the individual prize of switching the family around tonight."_

Then he ripped the letter up into tiny pieces.

"NOT FAIR." He said angrily. "I was the only one who won all my matches. I thought I was OBVIOUSLY going to win."

"You thought wrong." Said Tezuka. "Obviously."

"WHAT?" Tachibana said angrily as he stood up, but the other three family members stood up from their comfy chairs (since Tachibana was of course sitting in his OWN chair!) and kept him from smiting Tezuka like he had the kitchen chairs.

"It's all right, Tachibana." Said Aoi. "Keep in mind there's only sixteen hours until this whole thing is over and done with. So it's really not going to matter."

"You're right." Said Tachibana, sitting down and trying to get back the cool. "I suppose it never really mattered in the first place…"

Then he looked over at Tezuka looking all smug and became insanely angry.

"I can't help it if I am just so superb." Said Tezuka.

"You did NOT just use the word superb to describe yourself." Tachibana said crossly.

"Oh yes I did." Said Tezuka. "Yes I did."

"Fine." Said Tachibana, taking a deep hoot breath. "I will NOT let it get to me. Just a little while longer."

Tachibana and Tezuka then commenced in glaring at each other.

"Well guys." Said Aoi, standing up. "We're not gaining anything from sitting around glaring at each other! How about we go and do something that doesn't involve sitting or glaring?"

"So do you guys want to watch television or something?" David shrugged aimlessly.

"Well, that sort of involves sitting and glaring." Aoi said.

"So you DON'T want to watch television then?" David inferred.

"Er…no, I'm game." Aoi shrugged.

"You guys too?" said David to the other captains, but not to Kabaji, since it's not like Kabaji's opinion mattered.

"Sure…why not?" said Tachibana and Tezuka.

Everyone stood up and looked at Kabaji. Then they proceeded to not help him as he moved the three comfy chairs and the beanbag chair back into the living room so they could watch television.

Then they proceeded to only watch as he turned on the television and then sat down.

It must have been bad karma or something because as soon as they sat down, all the power in the entire house went out.

Everyone sat in absolute silence for a very very very long time.

Then they all collectively let out a loud groan.

"Whhhhhhhyyyyy…" they all moaned childishly.

Team Four  
"Yes, it DOES say that I won." Ryoma said as his entire team huddled around a candle since their power had gone out as well. They were trying to read the letter they had received from their coaches.

"Let me see that!" said Saeki, swiping it from Ryoma and stealing the candle all for himself. "What? This is lies! All lies!"

"Well, he IS the only one who won his match." Yukimura pointed out.

"But he lost the tiebreaker." Said Sakurai as he put one of Ryoma's patches from the hospital over his eye.

"That doesn't matter." Said Ryoma. "Besides, let's not take forever to ponder about WHY I won. Let's just know that I did win."

"Hey, instead of arguing, how about we find more than just this one candle?" Hiyoshi suggested.

Then they all realized that they were standing in about a square foot of space.

"All right," said Ryoma. "And while you guys are looking for candles, I'll pick out our new family roles."

"I HATE it when he wins!" said Saeki angrily as he took the candle and stormed off in search of more candles as all the rest just sat there at the kitchen table in total darkness.

They twiddled their thumbs until Saeki finally returned with a few more candles.

"Wow guys," he said. "Thanks for helping by the way."

"YOU TOOK THE CANDLE WITH YOU." They all said, their tones elevated slightly.

"WHATEVER!" said Saeki as he sat back down and lit all the new candles they had.

Everyone backed away from each other, but remained in the kitchen table area.

"Okay, Ryoma." Said Saeki in attempt to break the silence. And it worked because now the silence was ever so broken, and probably beyond repair. "What are your new assignments for our family? And please make it brief, because I'm ever so irritated right now."

"Well," said Ryoma. "I don't really remember what everyone is already, so I'm just going to ask whoever the Dad is to just switch with me."

Everyone took a look at the item they were wearing.

"Oh that's me." Said Hiyoshi, taking off the tool belt.

Ryoma handed him the bow.

"Lame, you're the Sister?" Hiyoshi complained but he put the bow on anyway because he probably LIKED IT! But that's quite unlikely.

"Not anymore." Ryoma reminded him as he put the tool belt on.

"Guys, I have seriously been the Mom this entire time." Sakurai complained. "Can't someone switch with me for at least the last night?"

"No." said everyone.

Just then, there was a flash of lightning and the room illuminated.

Strangely enough, the room REMAINED illuminated.

"The power's back!" exclaimed Saeki as everyone jumped up excitedly and cheered.

Then the power went out again.

They stood in their positions of utter joy for a few seconds before slowly sitting back down.

"Never mind…" Saeki said with a sigh.


	54. In Which the Families Cope

Team Five  
"This is SO unfair!" said Sengoku. "We have two televisions and we can't use either of them because of the stupid power!"

"Well, at least we can play Pictionary with this dry erase board you got us." Oishi said, trying to look on the bright side of things.

"_I _think it's unfair that Shishido won the individual competition just because he was sick and we all forced him to play." Said Kamio.

"It's not like he changed the family around." Itsuki said.

Just then, there was a knock at their front door.

They looked in the direction of the door quizzically, then counted up the team to make sure no one was an outside Pet today, and then Kamio finally got up to answer the door.

When he opened it, Choutarou was standing there.

"May I come in?" he asked pleasantly.

Kamio just stood there.

"Who is it?" said Itsuki as he walked over.

"Oh, it's just me!" said Choutarou as the rest of the family came in and allowed him to enter the house. "I brought some soup for Shishido to make sure he's all right!"

The family looked at each other and then back at Choutarou.

"I hate to be the one to break this news to you, Ootori." Said Sengoku as he put his hand on Choutarou's shoulder. "But…Shishido just died."

Choutarou blinked. And stood there stone faced.

"No way, we're just kidding!" laughed Sengoku. "We just wanted to see what your reaction would be!"

"I think you took it pretty well." Oishi commented.

But Choutarou was still standing there looking totally apathetic.

"Hello?" said Kamio, waving his hand in front of Choutarou's face but he didn't react in any way.

"Didn't you hear?" said Sengoku. "WE WERE KIDDING! SHISHIDO'S NOT REALLY DEAD!"

Choutarou then blinked again and looked like he was coming around back into reality, and was JUST about to think about giving Sengoku a piece of his mind when he heard Shishido roll over from the Parent's room and decided it was more important for him to be THERE so he dashed THERE.

"Shishido!" Choutarou said, running over to the bedside.

Shishido just lied their like a lump, but slowly opened one eye. "Choutarou?"

"Yes, me!" said Choutarou. "I brought you some chicken soup to help you feel better!"

Shishido didn't really react as the rest of the family stood in the doorway.

Choutarou looked up at them. "How high is his fever exactly?" he asked.

"Well, we were about to give him another ice bath just before the power went out." Oishi said.

"No…" Shishido whined SO pathetically.

"Ice bath?" Choutarou said. "I think it would be best to just draw the fever down from his head."

The rest of Team Five just stared at him.

"And…you can do that?" Oishi led.

"Of course!" Choutarou said. "First off all, you have too many blankets up here! It would be better to put them by his feet, which are, if you've noticed, icy cold. If you warm up his feet then he won't have such a high fever!"

"Chicken soup!" said Sengoku as he got distracted. "Awesome! We have nothing to eat here because we never went shopping! Someone get spoons!"

Choutarou ran over and slapped Sengoku's hand away. "That's for Shishido!" he said.

"Hey!" said Sengoku, caressing his hand.

"Hurry now!" said Choutarou. "We have to all work together to get Shishido back to full strength! Well? Why are you all just staring at me? This isn't helping…"

"Choutarou…" said Shishido weakly as he reached out for Choutarou.

"Yes, Shishido?" said Choutarou as he immediately ran to Shishido's side and waited eagerly for a response.

Shishido took a deep breath and mustered up the strength he needed to continue. "Don't bother with them." He said finally. "They're all lame."

"HEY!" said the whole family.

Team Six  
"And then…when the woman opened the door…there was… A HOOK! ON THE DOOR!"

Atsushi shined the flashlight under his chin and made scary noises but everyone else in the family just stared at him. They were all sitting on the floor in a circle around where the kitchen table might have been if not for the fact that it was in so very many pieces.

"Not scary." Said Kaidou, crossing his arms.

"Aw…" said Atsushi, looking dejected. "I thought that story was scary."

"You don't have a scary enough face for the effect." Said Oshitari as he took the flashlight away and then handed it to Ryou. "You try it."

Ryou sat there with the flashlight.

Then he looked at Oshitari.

Then back at the flashlight.

Then he pointed at Atsushi.

Then at himself.

"WE HAVE THE SAME FACE." He said.

"Oh." Said Oshitari. "Right."

"Give me that." Said Kaidou, taking the flashlight from Ryou. "How's this. Ready? And then…" he lowered his voice even more. "When the woman opened the door… there was a hook… ON THE DOOR."

He shined the light under his chin, and everyone had to admit that it had a better effect when Kaidou did it.

"Amateurs." Said Akutsu as he took the flashlight and did the exact same thing, except this time, the rest of the family let out blood curling screams because they were so very frightened.

"I guess presentation does affect the story." Said Atsushi once he had regained his composure.

"You guessed right." Said Akutsu, offering the flashlight to Oshitari.

"Why me?" said Oshitari.

"Because you're the only one who hasn't told a story yet." Said Akutsu.

"That's not true." Said Oshitari. "The only person who's told a story so far is Atsushi. Ryou passed, and the two of you just repeated the last line from Atsushi's story."

"Well, we've already established that Ryou and Atsushi are not good scary story tellers." Kaidou said. "So it's pointless to have them tell stories."

"And we've established that the two of you are GOOD scary story tellers so why don't you two tell one instead?" said Oshitari.

"Well now we're in the dark as to how you are at telling scary stories." Said Ryou as if it bothered him. It might have, but it could have been a façade just to make Oshitari fall into a clever trap.

"Very well." Said Oshitari as he took the flashlight and put it under his chin just like everyone does whenever they tell scary stories no matter what their face looks like. "It was a dark and stormy night, much like this one, and the power was out, just like tonight…"

"No good, stop." Ordered Kaidou.

"What?" said Oshitari. "Already?"

"You sound like a recording of a romance novel on a book on tape." Atsushi said.

"Yeah." The rest of the team agreed.

Oshitari looked sad for a few seconds because of course he knew it was true so it would be pointless to argue a factual point.

Then he suddenly perked up.

"Wait." He said.

"What?" said the rest of the team.

"Why do you all know what a romance novel on tape sounds like?" Oshitari inquired.

They all sat there in silence, waiting for someone else to go first.

Team Seven  
Sanada won the individual challenge. This was only because everyone else on his team failed, and the teachers figured that maybe he would have won if he had gotten a chance to play. The world may never know.

But, after surveying the family and the Inui and Renji duo reminded him of their data, Sanada just decided to keep everything the same. Inui stayed the Papa, Renji the Mama, Jirou the Sissy, Tetsu the Bro and Sanada stayed good ol' Rover. He's such a good sport!

After establishing that there was no way to fix their power, Team Seven suddenly came to the realization that their disco ball…oh that disco ball… the disco ball worked.

Even though it pained them, it was a source of light so they kept it on, which pleased Jirou, but no one else.

"What can we do?" said Tetsu.

"I'm bored." Sanada agreed.

"Let's have a DANCE PARTY!" said Jirou. "We've got the disco ball! Why not?"

They stared at him.

"We have the disco ball, that much is true." Inui said. "But it is impossible to have a dance party without music."

"And we're not going to have a dance party by the way." Sanada added.

"Aww…" said Jirou. "But I was talking to Gakuto and he said that his team has dance parties all the time."

The rest of his team just stared at him.

"Can't we have just ONE dance party?" Jirou begged.

"But, as Inui previously stated, there is no music." Renji said.

"And no." Sanada said more firmly.

"We can sing karaoke!" said Jirou.

"NO." they all said immediately.

"I'll keep the beat and one of you guys sing!" said Jirou as he started beat boxing but it really just sounded like…NOT beat boxing.

The others waited for him to be finished with attempting to get them to sing.

"Guys." He said. "If I keep the beat, and one of you guys sing, then the rest of us can dance. And then it would be a party."

"We already told you that we don't want to have a dance party." Tetsu said, trying to be polite.

"But there's no fun in not having a dance party!" Jirou whined.

"Sanada." Said Inui. "Please turn off the disco ball."

"No!" yelled Jirou. "Don't turn off the disco ball!"

"Why?" asked Sanada.

"Just do it." Inui said, sounding like he was commanding it.

Sanada just so happened to be closest to the light switch, so he turned it off and the disco ball stopped even though Jirou was begging him not to do it. Then, Jirou's pleas slowly quieted until they were no more.

Inui turned on the flashlight he just so happened to be holding and shined it on Jirou who was now sleeping.

"That was easy enough." Renji said. "Nice job, Inui."

"I know." Said Inui.

Then there was silence again.

"Now I'm bored." Said Sanada.

"Let's turn the disco ball back on." Said Tetsu. "That way Jirou will beg for us to have a dance party and we can fill our time with telling him that we don't want to have one."

"That's a good idea." Said Inui, nodding at Sanada who turned the disco ball back on.

Team Eight  
The entire family was in the living room and everyone looked grumpy. EVERYONE looked grumpy. Except for Atobe who looked slightly less happy but still feeling fine.

Shinji actually looked quite content as well.

"SHINJI!" said Yuuta suddenly.

Shinji jumped. "Yes?" he said.

"What was the point of switching the family around so randomly?" Yuuta demanded.

"What do you mean?" Shinji asked.

"Well, we have all literally been in the same family roles since the beginning of this stupid thing, and you just so suddenly decided to switch us all to completely random things." Bane explained.

"Oh." Shinji said. "Well, that's exactly why I switched everyone. We've been the same roles the entire time and I certainly know that I was tired of wearing that apron and wanted to have a shot at this nifty tool belt that Yuuta's just been walking around showing off since he first got it."

"But what do you have against me?" said Jackal, tugging at the Pet collar.

"I must agree with the rest of the family on this one." Atobe said. "It was senseless to shuffle the family around so randomly."

"You're just mad because you have to wear a hat." Said Yuuta.

"And YOU'RE just mad because you have to wear a bow." Atobe pointed out.

"Well," said Shinji. "That's just the way it is now. The day is almost over, as is this experiment that doesn't involve tennis with the exception of today. It's doubtful we'll have another competition so it's not like anyone except the five of us will be affected by my decisions to broaden our horizons."

"Besides…" Bane said slowly. "I mean, with all the other families, I bet it really affects where everyone sleeps. But with us, we're all going to be sleeping in the same places we've been sleeping in the previous nights."

"Yeah, it really won't affect us at all now that I think about it." Yuuta said, rubbing his chin.

"There, you see?" said Shinji. "You were all giving me crap for no reason and I don't appreciate it."

"Well, wearing this bow is dumb." Said Yuuta. "And I personalized that tool belt and it had all my important stuff in it."

"Like this mint?" Shinji inquired, pulling a mint out of one of the pockets.

"Yes!" said Yuuta, snatching it back.

"And I was starting to get attached to that hat…" Jackal said. "I kind of wanted to take it home."

"You can have it." Said Atobe, adjusting it slightly. "It certainly doesn't do anything flattering for my hair."

"Guys, guess what?" said Bane randomly, looking at his watch.

"What?" said everyone because obviously they didn't feel like guessing. No one ever feels like guessing.

"There's officially only thirteen more hours until we get to forsake this house and go home." Bane said, relaxing.

When the others heard this, they relaxed as well.

"And then I'll never have to talk to any of you again." Atobe said with a sigh of relief.

"Same here!" said Yuuta. "If I really wanted to, I'd never even have to see you again, unless our school played yours in tennis!"

"Hm…I suppose." Said Atobe. "My, those would be short matches, now wouldn't they?"

Yuuta gritted his teeth, but he is far above sinking to the level of murdering Atobe like Fuji would have probably done. We all know how STRONG WILLED Yuuta is after all.

"I say, the faster we go to bed, the faster this thing will end." Said Shinji. "Like Christmas."

"Yeah!" said everyone. They were all in the Christmas mood anyway because they had watched The Grinch pretty recently. So they all retired to the same beds they had been sleeping in all week (or in Yuuta and Shinji's case, since they GOT the beds) and officially hit the haystack.


	55. In Which the End Draws Near

Morning Six  
Team One  
Once again, Taka awoke from his slumber in the Parent's room. He expected to see Fuji there, but he wasn't. That made him somewhat relieved, but then he became a little frightened because that meant that Fuji was up BEFORE him off doing something in the house that he would never know about until it was too late.

He could hear someone in the kitchen.

"Hey, did the power come back on?" Taka said as he entered the kitchen.

Fuji was standing at the stove cooking. "Well yes," he answered, turning back to Taka. "Sometime in the middle of the night."

"Oh." Said Taka with a nod.

"Why don't you sit down?" Fuji suggested. "I made breakfast."

Taka hesitated for only a moment, but he sensed that Fuji was about to go into Scary Mode so he decided to do whatever he could to avoid that by sitting down.

Fuji then opened the door to the Kids room and said very politely and tenderly, "I made breakfast, you two."

Kirihara and Yana responded and entered the kitchen after a minute or so.

They sat at the table and it suddenly became painfully obvious that there was one empty seat.

"Say, where's Mizuki?" said Kirihara, looking like he had battled internally for a while before he had said that.

No one answered, not even Fuji.

"Where did he end up sleeping last night?" Yana asked.

Once again, no one answered as Fuji came over with a pancake for each of them, taking his seat in the empty chair.

No one dared eat anything.

"Fuji, do you know where Mizuki is?" Taka asked.

"Mizuki?" Fuji said with a sigh. "Oh right. Him. I haven't the foggiest."

"So uh…" said Kirihara. "Why don't YOU have a pancake?"

"I'm not hungry." Fuji shrugged.

They continued to sit there in silence as Fuji just stared at them, waiting for them to start eating.

"Seriously though." Said Yana. "Where's Mizuki?"

"How strange that he's missing." Fuji said adamantly.

"Fuji, we KNOW you killed Mizuki." Said Kirihara. "We just want to know where the body is so we can return it to his family. That's fair, isn't it?"

Fuji folded his hands pleasantly.

"Guys," said Taka. "I don't know if we should accuse Fuji of killing Mizuki before we actually have any evidence."

"Thank you, Taka." Said Fuji. "As usual, you are the voice of reason."

"It's just that we go through this conversation at least six or seven times a day whenever Mizuki leaves the room for more than a minute and Fuji hasn't killed him YET…" Taka explained.

"Think about it." Said Kirihara. "Today is his last chance. He couldn't pass."

"I remember where Mizuki is now." Said Fuji with a smile.

Just the, the front door opened. The family paused for a bit and then Mizuki came strolling in with a bag in his hand.

"Mizuki!" said Yana. "We thought Fuji killed you!"

"No." said Mizuki with a shrug. "I just went out to get the bananas."

He pulled some bananas out of his bag.

"Bananas?" the others repeated.

"I wanted to put bananas on the pancakes, and Mizuki was the only one who was up so I requested that he go down to the grocery store and get some." Fuji said.

"So why did you tell us you didn't know where he was?" Kirihara demanded.

"I forgot." Fuji said.

"Well, it's good news that you're not dead, Mizuki." Said Taka.

Mizuki put the bananas on the table. "I seem to get this greeting a lot from you guys." He said with a nod.

Team Two  
"Hey!" said Momo as he finished fully searching the house. "Ootori really didn't come home last night!"

"Unbelievable!" said Gakuto. "We went without dinner last night and now he expects us to go without breakfast?"

"Does he realize how selfish he's being?" said Marui.

"He spoiled us by waking up extra early every morning and making us breakfast." Eiji sniffled.

They all slumped at the kitchen table. In the few hours that Choutarou had been missing, the house had become a huge mess, there were dishes piled up in the sink and the rest of the family all had stained, wrinkled shirts and stubble. But not really stubble because they're like thirteen.

"When is he coming back?" whined Momo.

"You know…" said Eiji, rubbing his chin. "It's perfectly reasonable to assume that Ootori likely made it to Team Five's house with no problem and just decided to stay the night there because he didn't want to go back through the rain…"

"Yeah…that's probably what happened." Said Marui.

"BUT." Said Eiji, raising his finger in the air. "What if Ootori never made it to the house and ended up getting jumped in the middle of the night by a crazy rapist?"

"We would NEVER KNOW." Said Gakuto, looking devastated.

"Yeah right, guys." Said Momo. "We're talking about Ootori here. He may only be thirteen, but he's big enough that everyone would know to stay away from him."

"Momo, I hate to remind you of The Dark Times, but I seem to remember that you had no trouble at all taking him down." Eiji said.

"Yeah well that was ME." Said Momo. "I had chloroform. And I know he's a pushover. A random guy walking on the street who HAPPENED to be a rapist wouldn't know that he's a pushover and probably wouldn't have chloroform."

"Well, if this guy was a rapist and had intent to find a young boy to rape then he probably would be carrying chloroform." Marui said.

"And Ootori was probably skipping, so the guy could tell he was a pushover." Gakuto added.

"Wait, I doubt he was skipping." Said Eiji. "Because he was sad about Shishido being sick and doing poorly in the tennis match. And not even Ootori would skip after something like that."

"Okay what about this then?" said Marui. "What if said rapist came up to him and asked him to help find his puppy?"

"Oh yeah." Said Momo with a nod. "That's probably how it happened."

"A lost puppy in the middle of a rainstorm?" said Eiji. "I don't know."

"Is he the type to get in the car for candy?" Gakuto questioned. "Would he fall for THAT one?"

"Seriously guys, it wouldn't take a trick to kidnap Ootori." Said Eiji. "They'd just have to tell him that they had Shishido off somewhere and he'd jump in the car."

"Hold on," said Momo. "Said rapist wouldn't know about Shishido."

"Ootori would probably tell said rapist about Shishido." Said Gakuto.

"Before or after he gets kidnapped?" said Eiji.

"Well, maybe said rapist is someone Ootori knows." Said Marui. "Someone we ALL know."

"But who…?" everyone pondered.

That's when Momo and Eiji both jumped up into the air at the same time and gasped.

"FUJI!" they all yelled.

"We have to help!" said Gakuto.

"No point." Said Eiji, sitting back down. "If it's Fuji, would you really want to be the one to go up against him?"

"Oh yeah…" said Gakuto.

Team Three  
"All right, since this is our last day together, we're all going to work out our aggressions so we don't walk away hating each other." Tachibana announced. "Because the last thing we want is to subconsciously go on hating each other until we crack."

"Great idea, Tachibana!" said Aoi.

"Well, I know I'm first." Said Tachibana as he put the blue Sock 'Em Boppers on his fists. "Who will face me?"

"I will!" said David as he put on the red Sock 'Em Boppers.

"The rules are as follows." Said Tezuka. "You can only use the Sock 'Em Boppers to attack each other. If you use anything else then the session will be stopped immediately. You also must resolve tensions between you during the session so be sure to keep the communication line open."

"Ready?" said Aoi. "GO!"

Tachibana and David then proceeded to flail wildly at each other as the theme music to Sock 'Em Boppers played in the background. It was so picturesque, it could have been a commercial.

"Wow!" said Aoi. "That looks like more fun than a pillow fight!"

"Don't forget to communicate." Tezuka reminded them.

"I NEVER LIKED YOUR PUNS!" Tachibana yelled.

"I NEVER LIKED YOUR IDEAS TO SABOTAGE TEZUKA!" David yelled back.

"WELL I STILL DIDN'T LIKE YOUR PUNS!"

"I DON'T LIKE THE DOT ON YOUR FOREHEAD!"

"YOUR PUNS SUCK!"

"I CAN SEE YOUR ROOTS!"

They continued to sock each other like crazed fools until they just didn't have anymore energy to continue.

Both were huffing and puffing, and occasionally raising a bopper to hit each other. Eventually, they collapsed on the floor while Tezuka, Aoi and Kabaji applauded.

"Did it work?" Tezuka inquired.

"I think it did." Tachibana breathed as he sat up. "But I have to admit, Tezuka. I was hoping to battle you."

"Mm, I figured so much." Said Tezuka. "You need to rest first, though. Aoi, why don't you face off against Kabaji while we wait?"

"Wait?" said Aoi. "No way. Look at Kabaji and then look at me. I SO do not want to face off against Kabaji. Besides, I don't have anything against him."

"I'm ready to go right now!" said Tachibana, standing up as if he wasn't tired at all. "I was conserving my energy the entire time and that was all just an act to make you feel smug!"

"I see." Said Tezuka, taking the red Sock 'Em Boppers from David and putting them on his fists.

"Let's do this." Said Tachibana as he punched the two boppers together.

"I've been waiting for the day when you and I could face each other head to head with no interruptions." Said Tezuka, pointing dramatically at Tachibana, but of course the pointing was compromised because of the big red plastic ball of air on his fist.

"I hope you don't expect any mercy when I beat you!" Tachibana said, looking EVER so pumped.

The two of them commenced in THEIR flailing and grunted and socking and bopping.

The other three just watched for a few seconds.

Then Aoi leaned over to David and quietly whispered, "Go get the video camera."

David didn't have to be told twice because he got up in a matter of seconds and darted off to retrieve the camera.

Team Four  
"Guys, we got another letter." Said Sakurai as he entered the living room where the others were attempting to shove as much random stuff from the house inside bags to take home.

"Another letter?" Saeki said, taking it as if the letter was HIS responsibility. "This better not be the coaches saying that we have to have another competition."

"I certainly hope not." Said Hiyoshi, looking miserable.

"You open it, Ryoma." Said Saeki.

"Why me?" said Ryoma, standing up.

"Because it's addressed to the Dad." Sakurai answered.

"Oh yes." Said Ryoma with a nod as he took the letter and opened it. He read it as everyone waited for an explanation. "Oh."

He just stood there as if he didn't owe them anything.

"Well?" Yukimura said.

"Right." Said Ryoma. "Mainly it says that we all have to go to the tennis courts at noon."

"WHAT?" demanded Saeki. "Tennis courts at noon? The letter they gave us last night said that we got to go home at noon!"

Saeki picked up the letter from last night and showed everyone.

"Look!" he said. "It says it right here!"

"We know what it says." Said Sakurai. "We were all there last night."

"I think I passed out or something then because I don't remember getting a letter last night." Said Yukimura, looking confused.

"Oh no, no." said Hiyoshi. "I'm pretty sure you were conscious then."

"Oh was I?" said Yukimura. "How strange. Well, I wouldn't be surprised if my memory started to go as well."

He sighed and looked woeful and everyone felt bad for him.

But then they remembered the injustice that was being done to them by their coaches.

"It's not fair." Ryoma said, shaking his head. "They SAID we could go home at noon. Why do we have to go to the tennis courts?"

"No amount of repetitive complaining is going to change the fact that our coaches went back on their words because they're still bored." Sakurai said. "I just know that if Tachibana were apart of their group then…"

Sakurai looked off in the distance and put his hand over his heart.

Then he abruptly stopped and turned around.

"Actually," he said. "If Tachibana was part of the group then it's likely all this business never would have happened."

"So…" said Saeki slowly. "This whole thing is…TACHIBANA'S fault!"

Everyone gasped.

"No!" said Sakurai. "That's not what I meant!"

"It's what you said." Said Ryoma. "And we need someone to blame."

"Blame your coach!" commanded Sakurai.

"No way." Said Ryoma. "She'd punish me. It's easier to blame someone who doesn't have any authority over me."

"I'll have to agree with Ryoma on that one." Said Hiyoshi.

"I don't know." Said Yukimura. "I don't think it's right for us to blame Tachibana for not sticking around during a coach's meeting and making sure they didn't do anything strange like this. If it's anyone's fault, it's MINE."

"Why would it be your fault?" Saeki asked.

"Because I was dumb enough to call my team and tell them all to come on that day when all this started." Said Yukimura.

"Don't feel bad." Said Hiyoshi. "It's all your team's fault for coming."

"But you know what team is the dumbest of all?" said Saeki. "St. Rudolph."

"Why St. Rudolph?" asked Yukimura.

Saeki shrugged. "I don't know." He said. "I just don't like them. Don't ask me why. I just don't."

"Oh." Said everyone else.


	56. In Which Loose Ends Are Tied

Team Five  
Shishido awoke the next morning. Thankfully. There had been questions as to whether or not that would happen for a little while there.

He actually didn't feel like he was about to die anymore. He definitely didn't feel well enough to get up and run around or do really anything, but at least he wasn't on his death bed anymore.

He wondered why THAT was.

He looked in the corner of the room to see Choutarou sleeping in a chair.

He was JUST about to say something and wake him up when the door flung open and there was his accursed family.

"You're not dead!" said Oishi. "What a relief!"

"No thanks to any of you." Said Shishido with a glare.

This caused Choutarou to wake up. He looked disoriented for a minute or so with an expression that was all like, "Wait, who are these people?" but then he remembered where he was.

"Shishido!" Choutarou exclaimed, running over to him. "Are you feeling any better?"

"I'm feeling a lot better actually." Shishido admitted.

"Who ever thought that actually taking care of you would make you feel better?" Sengoku said.

"It's all because of you guys that I got sick in the first place!" Shishido accused.

"Well, that may be true, but it's only because you were acting so crazy." Said Kamio. "So technically it's not our fault at all."

"What do you mean, acting crazy?" Shishido demanded.

"After you tied yourself up and chloroformed yourself as a trick to get us to let you back in the house, you started saying that Momo had tied up all his teammates and was forcing them to listen to seminars about how playing doubles wasn't that great." Oishi reminded him.

Shishido and Choutarou looked at each other and then back at Oishi.

"THAT DID HAPPEN." They both said.

"Sure, sure…" said the rest of the team.

"I'm hungry." Itsuki complained. "We don't have anymore cereal in the pantry. Or anywhere else for that matter."

"I'll make something!" said Oishi.

"But Sengoku's the Mom." Said Kamio.

"I can't cook!" said Sengoku.

"Neither can Oishi!" said Kamio.

"I'LL make breakfast." Said Choutarou.

"No, Choutarou!" said Shishido. "You shouldn't have to feed them!"

"I'll make breakfast for you too, Shishido!" said Choutarou as if that's what the issue was. "I don't mind!"

The rest of the team looked at each other.

"You can if you want to." Said Sengoku with a shrug.

"I do!" said Choutarou as he left the room.

"Choutarou!" Shishido called out to his pal as he tried to get up and chase after him but then he realized he was more bedridden than he originally thought so he decided instead to just continue to lie there like a lump.

The rest of the family just left him alone in there and went off into the kitchen to see how creative Choutarou was going to be since they didn't really have any food left in their house after neglecting to go shopping at all.

"Hey Ootori," said Kamio as the family sat down at the kitchen table in anticipation of their breakfast.

"Yes?" said Choutarou as he searched through the shelves and drawers.

"Does your team know you're here?"

Choutarou paused for a moment. "I mentioned something about it."

"That's good enough for me!" Kamio said.

"Us too!" Oishi and Sengoku agreed.

Team Six  
"Akutsu, you can't leave NOW!" said Atsushi as he watched Akutsu walk around the house in search of anything he might not have pocketed that he wanted to take with him.

"Why not?" said Akutsu.

"We have to go meet the coaches very soon and then they're going to let us go home!" said Ryou. "But if you leave now then we'll probably be disqualified from whatever happens!"

"So what?" said Akutsu.

"Maybe my coach will get so angry with your rebellion that he'll kick me off the Rokkaku tennis team!" said Ryou. "And then I'll have to… join St. Rudolph or something!"

"What's wrong with St. Rudolph?" said Atsushi, putting his hands on his hips.

"YOU'RE on it." Said Ryou. "DUH."

"Hey!" said Atsushi, at a loss of anything else to say.

"All right, I'm leaving now." Said Akutsu as he went to the front door. "I'm far too impatient to wait just a few more hours to get this over with that I'm willing to take the chance that you'll get kicked off your respective tennis teams."

He opened the door and turned around only to be faced with Kaidou and Oshitari.

"What do you guys want?" said Akutsu.

"We just wanted to know that we're not willing to allow you to take that chance." Said Oshitari. "Kaidou?"

"Right." Said Kaidou as he pulled a frying pan out from behind his back and hit Akutsu over the head with it. Yes, it was that same frying pan that already had Akutsu's head dented in the top.

Akutsu fell limply to the floor as the twins ran over.

"Way to go, you two!" said Atsushi.

"Yeah, good thinking!" Ryou agreed.

"Let's drag him back inside and hope he stays out for a few hours." Kaidou said.

They all dragged him back inside just like they said they would and then they noticed that his pack of cigarettes fell out of his pocket.

"Would you look at this?" said Oshitari. "What do you say we get rid of these so we don't have to deal with him smoking just in case he wakes up early?"

"Or better yet, let's try smoking!" said Atsushi.

The others stared at him quizzically.

"Well, all right." Oshitari shrugged as he handed everyone a cigarette.

They all lit up the cigarettes with the matches they just so happen to keep in their pockets. After one intensely long inhale, three out of four of them hacked and coughed like there was no tomorrow.

Kaidou, Ryou and Atsushi immediately discarded the cigarettes and wondered what possessed them to do that in the first place.

Oshitari, on the other hand, stood there with the cigarette daintily in his hand and blew the smoke out of his mouth with such form that one might be under the impression that he had been smoking since the very day he had been born.

"Please don't do that in the house." Said Kaidou as he continued to cough.

"Oh I don't plan on smoking." Said Oshitari. "I am just as revolted by it as the rest of you are. I suppose I'm just a natural or something to that effect."

He discarded his cigarette.

Just then, the entire room went black for a moment. Then two spotlights shone on Choutarou and Oishi who were both standing there all dressed up like before.

"Remember, kids." Said Choutarou. "What looks dumber than a cigarette in your ear?"

"A cigarette in your mouth." Said Oishi.

"DON'T SMOKE!" they both said together.

Then the room lit up again.

"Hm…" said Team Six with a collective TEAM NOD.

Team Seven  
Renji, Inui and Sanada entered the living room to see a strange sight. Jirou was doing what looked like a tribal dance of excitement as Tetsu appeared to be trying to detach the disco ball from the ceiling.

"Jirou, I'm not sure I know exactly how to do this…" Tetsu said nervously.

"Nonsense!" said Jirou. "You're doing fine!"

"Excuse me." Inui cleared his throat, and the two of them stopped their activities and looked over at the three that had just entered.

"Yeah?" said Jirou.

"May I inquire as to what is going on?" said Inui.

"Oh." Said Jirou. "I'm just waiting for Tetsu to finish getting the disco ball detached from the ceiling."

"That much was clear." Said Renji. "I think Inui meant to ask WHY Tetsu was detaching the disco ball."

"Because I asked him to." Jirou answered.

"Why?" Inui asked.

"Because I can't reach it." Jirou replied.

"But why did you want the disco ball detached from the ceiling?" Sanada said, trying to speak slowly and clearly.

"Well," Tetsu said. "Jirou wanted to take the disco ball home and since we're leaving soon, he was worried that we wouldn't be coming back and then he'd miss out on the disco ball."

"But what about that disco ball?" said Inui, pointing at the OTHER disco ball that had never been set up.

"What about it?" Jirou said.

"What's wrong with it?" Renji said.

"Nothing." Said Jirou.

"Then why do you need that disco ball?" Sanada asked, pointing at the disco ball that was half stuck in the ceiling.

"Because I want both of them." Jirou said as if it were the most obvious thing in the entire world. And to him, I'm willing to bet that it was probably among one of them.

"And he asked me to help him…" Tetsu said.

"And he's an upperclassmen and you just wanted to be cool, right?" Sanada finished up.

Tetsu nodded, looking ashamed.

"If Jirou was jumping off a bridge, would you?" Renji said.

"Well, only if it made me REALLY cool…" Tetsu admitted.

"I don't have any objections to Jirou taking the disco ball home." Said Inui. "I just hope it doesn't break while Tetsu is taking it down."

"Well you guys know how to do all that crazy electronic stuff, right?" said Jirou excitedly. "Could you guys help too and take it down? Anyone really. Anyone who's taller than me. Which is…anyone…" Jirou looked pretty sad as he trailed off and realized how short he was.

"I refuse to have anything to do with the disco ball." Inui said flatly.

"We must agree." Renji and Sanada… agreed.

"I'll be really careful with it." Said Tetsu.

"All right…I'm putting all my faith in you!" Jirou said.

Tetsu wasn't about to admit that he was nervous now as he continued to work on getting it down for his new friend.

Renji and Inui shrugged at each other and went off to do something that has to do with data, leaving Sanada there all by himself. Except he was there with Tetsu and Jirou.

"I just don't belong in either group." Sanada sighed.

Team Eight  
Everyone in the team was in the backyard with the hose turned on full blast. It's not like they were engaged in some well mannered frivolity or anything by spraying the hose at each other or frolicking through it. No. They were just letting it run into the grass. They were being wasteroos.

"Do you think that's enough water?" said Bane as he prodded the damp ground with his foot.

"Let's just leave the hose on when we leave." Said Yuuta.

"Yes." Said Shinji. "This will certainly show all the coaches how much we despised this experiment of theirs."

"Yes." Said Atobe sarcastically. "This'll show them."

"You have a better idea?" said Jackal.

"No, no." said Atobe. "Flooding the backyard of this random house is, I think, the perfect plan."

"Yeah…that's what we were saying…" said everyone, eyeing him suspiciously.

"Well, it's almost noon." Said Yuuta, checking his watch. "We should start making our way down there so we won't be late."

"Even though our coaches specifically said that we were going to go home at noon…" Bane said with a groan.

"Well, the limo should be here any minute." Atobe checked his watch.

"LIMO?" gasped everyone.

"Yes." Said Atobe. "Of course. If I am to go straight home after this silly thing we're doing at noon then I require a limo."

"What limo is this?" said Jackal.

"Why, our limo of course." Atobe said.

"Wow." Said Shinji. "You're really not that bad of a guy after all."

"Of course not." Said Atobe, looking mildly confused.

That's when he noticed the limo pulling up in the front yard.

"Oh, there's my limo." He said. "I'll see you all at the tennis courts."

"Wait!" said Yuuta. "You mean you called the limo for YOURSELF and expect us to just WALK?"

Atobe actually looked like he couldn't think of a response at first. "Well obviously." He said finally. "What did you think I meant?"

"Well you said OUR LIMO." Jackal reminded him.

"Yes…as in the Atobe family limo." Atobe said. "Well, one of them anyway."

"That's just being mean for no reason!" said Bane as the four of them chased him to the front yard.

The chauffer had the door opened for Atobe already.

"I'm sorry, but there's simply not enough room for all of you." Said Atobe.

"What are you talking about?" said Yuuta. "That limo could comfortably hold a third world country."

"No it couldn't." said Atobe as he sat down.

"Don't be a jerk!" said Jackal. "Redeem yourself for all the pain you put us through all week by letting us take a short ride in your limo! It's not going to kill you, is it?"

Atobe said there for a minute or so.

Then he grabbed the door handle.

"Yes." He said. "It will."

Then he slammed the door shut.

The chauffer ran to the front seat, jumped in and then sped off with tires screeching at a speed that rivaled that of an ice cream man who was asked to wait for a kid to get his dollar inside.

"DAMN YOU ATOBE!" yelled Yuuta as he dropped to his knees and the screen panned out so it showed the earth and an explosion right where Yuuta had been being EVER so dramatic.


	57. In Which the End is Reality

Evaluations  
"Welcome, welcome!" said Ryuuzaki as all the teams gathered at the tennis courts. "We're so glad that all of you were on time! We apologize for the conflicting information, but we almost completely forgot to announce to you who the winners were!"

"The winners of what?" said –INSERT YOUR FAVORITE CHARACTER'S NAME HERE—.

"The entire competition of course!" said Sakaki. "This WAS a competition after all."

"You mean the whole family thing was a competition?" said Gakuto.

"Yes." Said Banji. "Whichever family did the best job at being a family wins. And the people in that family won't have to come to tennis practice for a week and will not be penalized for it!"

Everyone gasped.

"So now we will review our notes." Said Ojii, picking up his clipboard. "I was assigned Team One and Team Two."

He cleared his throat.

"Will Team One please step forward?" Ojii requested.

They did and waited for the worst.

"This team was, for the most part, in cooperation with each other." Ojii said. "But when I say cooperation, I'm not sure the cooperation was entirely voluntary. Fuji was able to dictate every single thing that happened in the family because of the fact that the rest of the family was afraid of him and because he kept winning the competitions."

"Is that why you were all so cooperative?" Fuji said. "Because you were frightened of me?"

His team only stared at him with expressions that said "DUH!"

"This team also only completed one of the five tasks that were assigned to the family members on the Second Day. Now, in addition to that, this team committed three notably violent acts." Ojii went on. "The first one was an act against Fuji by Kirihara in which he hurled a chair at him. But there were no injuries."

"Yeah, except me." Said Mizuki bitterly.

"Another one was against Mizuki by Fuji, in which he slapped him for speaking out of turn." Ojii went on.

Fuji chuckled in fond remembrance of that moment. Mizuki only glared.

"And the last was an act against Fuji in which the entire team drugged his orange juice." Ojii finished.

The team gaped at Ojii for revealing that.

"So THAT'S what happened." Said Fuji, looking entirely OKAY with that.

"Judgment of the teams is reserved for the end after all the teams have been evaluated." Said Ojii. "I would now like to see Team Two."

Team Two stepped forth.

"This team was shaky at first, but in the end, they seemed to become the best of friends." Ojii evaluated. "Everyone on the team completed the tasks given to them on the Second Day. However, there are a few things worth noting."

"Oh no." said Momo, slapping his forehead.

"On the morning of the Fourth Day, Momo decided to perform what he referred to as an 'Intervention'." Ojii said. "The first thing he did was ambush Gakuto while he was sleeping and tied him to a chair. When Eiji and Marui walked in on this occurring, he proceeded to ambush the two of them and tie them to chairs as well."

"How embarrassing for us!" said Eiji, covering his face.

"No, this is embarrassing for ME!" said Momo angrily.

"AND THEN," Ojii said. "He used chloroform to subdue Ootori and then left the four of them tied up for the remainder of the day until the competition."

"Hey, what about me?" said Shishido from the chair that had been provided for him in his sickly state. "I suffered too!"

"Yes, but you weren't part of his family so we don't take that into account." Ojii said.

"Lame!" said Shishido.

"Anyway," said Ojii. "After their falling out, this team appeared to, as a previously stated, become the best of friends. HOWEVER, Ootori left the house last night and did not return."

"We were afraid you were kidnapped and raped." Said Gakuto to Choutarou.

"Haha…nope!" said Choutarou with horseshoe eyes.

"So this team is automatically disqualified." Ojii finished.

"AW MAN!" cried the team sadly.

Choutarou immediately lost his horseshoe eyes.

"So…it's all…MY FAULT?" he said, his eyes now filling with tears.

The coaches all stared at him as he started sniffling and attempting to wipe away and hide his tears. The other coaches nudged Ojii.

"I mean…no!" said Ojii. "You're not disqualified! I was just kidding!"

"Why is everyone always making such hurtful jokes?" Choutarou stuttered between sobs.

"Wait, so they're not disqualified because Ootori started crying?" said Oshitari with a raised eyebrow.

"YES!" said the coaches.

"It's my turn now." Said Banji. "I was assigned Team Three and Four. Team Three? Please step forward."

They did. Woot.

"This team was essentially in harmony throughout most of the time they stayed in the home." Said Banji. "It was not cooperative, but they abided by the rules set up by the Dad, who was consistently Tezuka, and had no violent acts committed on each other! They also completed all the tasks given to them on the Second Day!"

"YAY!" cheered the team.

"EXCEPT," Banji went on, and the team's faces fell. "One time in which Tezuka aggravated his injury playing Old Maid, they fed him Nyquil."

"It was an accident!" argued Aoi.

"And we already apologized for that!" said Tachibana.

"And what about all the times they slapped me?" David whined. They all slapped him for pointing that out.

"Next!" said Banji. "Team Four! I am pleased to report that this team had NO intention violent acts against each other."

Team Four threw a little mini party before they realized that Banji was clearing his throat.

"However," he said. "Not only did this team not complete ANY of the tasks given to them on the Second Day, this team also violated the biggest and most important rule of all."

Everyone wondered what that rule was.

"THEY PLAYED TENNIS." Banji said.

The entire world gasped. Yes. Everyone. Even you. You just don't know it.

"Tennis?" said Saeki with a laugh. "That was HARDLY tennis at all!"

"You called it tennis, didn't you?" said Banji.

"Err…yeah…" said Saeki slowly.

"So Team Four is officially disqualified as well!" said Banji.

Team Four looked sad, and then Saeki quickly turned to Ryoma. "Hurry!" he said. "Start crying!"

"Why?" said Ryoma.

"So we won't be disqualified!" said Saeki.

"It worked for Team Two!" agreed Sakurai.

"No way." Said Ryoma. "And why does it have to be me?"

"CONTINUING!" said Sakaki. "I was in charge of evaluating Team Five and Team Six. I will start with Team Five and just pretty much tell you straight up and your team was disqualified from the very First Day."

"WHY?" they all demanded angrily.

"Because when a member of the family sleeps outside the house or the doghouse, that means you are obviously not a good family." Said Sakaki. "And Kamio slept in the front yard the first night."

"Why didn't you sleep in the doghouse?" demanded Sengoku as he grabbed Kamio by the collar and slapped him around. "I did when it was MY turn!"

"I refused to sleep in there on principle!" Kamio said, wrenching himself away from Sengoku.

"And then you were disqualified again when Oishi didn't sleep in the doghouse." Said Sakaki.

"OISHI'S FAULT!" Sengoku said, turning around to slap Oishi around but Oishi ducked behind Itsuki.

"In addition to that," Sakaki went on. "This whole business with Shishido would have gotten you disqualified anyway. After lying to us and saying that he was sick during the Dancing Competition when he was actually locked in the bathroom started it all off. And then you failed to treat him properly while he was sick and THEN you forced him to come to a tennis match and continued to lie to us when he obviously should have been resting!"

"You guys did all that lame stuff?" said Shishido, looking ultimately disappointed.

"I'm so ashamed…" said Oishi, bowing his head.

"So this is all…" Sengoku started as he turned around. "SHISHIDO'S FAULT!" Then he grabbed Shishido's collar and was just about to slap HIM around when the entire family dove on top of him to hold him back.

"So, even though most of you completed the tasks on the Second Day, Team Five is disqualified." Said Sakaki. "And now I would like to see Team Six."

"I hope we do better than them." Said Ryou.

"We probably committed too many violent acts against each other." Atsushi whispered.

"Well, despite the fact that this team committed so many violent acts against each other and destroyed both the television and the kitchen table, they didn't have any MAJOR offenses." Said Sakaki, double checking his notes.

"WHAT?" said Kaidou angrily. "No major offenses? Have you looked at our team? All of us have black eyes!"

"My glasses are broken." Oshitari added.

"I have a headache like you wouldn't believe." Said Akutsu with a frown, not exactly sure why he had said headache.

"I got punched more than everyone put together!" said Atsushi.

"Everyone made fun of my hair and said I looked like a girl!" Ryou finished, and Atsushi dope slapped him for that.

"Um…do you WANT to be disqualified?" said Sakaki.

"I think we deserve to be disqualified more than Team Four and Five." Said Kaidou.

The coaches looked at each other skeptically.

"Okay then…" said Sakaki. "Team Six is disqualified too."

"As it should be." Team Six said, crossing their arms and nodding.

"My turn!" said Ryuuzaki. "Obviously I am evaluating Team Seven and Team Eight, starting of course with Team Seven."

Team Seven stepped forth.

"Tem seven managed to complete all the tasks given to them on the Second Day." Ryuuzaki started. "They lived in harmony and had no violent acts against each other whatsoever! Isn't that grand?"

Everyone waited for something else to happen.

"Now for Team Eight…" Ryuuzaki started.

"Wait!" said Jirou. "That's it? Our turn's over?"

"Well, your team was very well behaved." Ryuuzaki said.

"Or BORING!" said Jirou.

"Aside from the murder of a single mosquito, not a single controversial thing happened in the house." Said Ryuuzaki, flipping through all the notes on the team.

"Wait a second." Said Shishido, raising his hand. "I have a question."

"We finished talking about your team a long time ago." Said Banji.

"Yeah." Said Shishido. "About that. If you guys knew I was locked in the bathroom and not actually sick like my team told you, how come you didn't come to the house and stop me from becoming actually sick?"

The coaches stared at Shishido silently.

"Team Eight now!" said Ryuuzaki. "You're up!"

"Okay!" said Team Eight eagerly.

"This team had no acts of violence committed against each other." Ryuuzaki said. "Though, they did not complete all their tasks given to them on the Second Day, unfortunately. But that is not the deciding factor. I must report that this team did NOT get along well at all!"

"IT'S ATOBE'S FAULT." Said the four on that team that aren't Atobe.

"This team also failed to sleep in the correct beds." Said Ryuuzaki. "And even though most families didn't ever sleep in the correct beds, we just thought it was worth noting."

"Why, to humiliate us?" demanded Yuuta.

"Um…yeah, pretty much." Ryuuzaki nodded.

"It's all right, Yuuta." Said Fuji, coming out of nowhere and starting to massage Yuuta's shoulders.

"Argh!" said Yuuta, diving away. "Do you have to be so damn creepy all the time?"

"Yuuta…that hurts my feelings…it really does…" said Fuji, turning away and looking despaired.

Yuuta shivered slightly and tried to set his life back on track.

"Anyway," said Ryuuzaki. "That means that Teams Four, Five and Six are all disqualified from the chance to win."

"But Team Two should be disqualified!" said Saeki.

"SHH!" said everyone threateningly to Saeki.

"All right," said Banji. "The winners are in the envelope! Shall I open it?"

"YES!" said the only teams that cared.

Banji slowly opened up the envelope and even slowly opened the paper.

"The winners are…" Banji said as the screen split into five parts, showing each team looking hopeful as a drum rolled. "Team…"

Even more pausing.

"NINE!" Banji exclaimed.

"YAAA—" started all the teams but then they stopped and looked around. "TEAM NINE?"

Sakaki pushed all the teams aside to reveal The Jimmies running forth looking thrilled.

"We won!" cheered the first Jimmie.

"Oh hurray!" cheered the other.

"TEAM NINE?" demanded all the other teams.

"They had by far the best teamwork and completed all their tasks." Ojii said.

"We forgot about them!" said Momo. "Where have they been this whole time?"

"Oh." Said Ryuuzaki. "Well, we exempted them from the challenges because there were only two of them and that would have been pointless and unfair for them to compete against you guys who had FIVE people."

"We're so proud of ourselves!" said the Jimmies together as if they had rehearsed.

"Oh gee…" said Teams One through Eight.

"You're all permitted to go home now." Said Ojii. "And we're glad you had this exposure to a non tennis activity for once in your lives."

"Don't ever do it again, though." Said Tezuka.

And what Tezuka says goes. Maybe.

8888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888

Total chapters: 57  
Total pages: 277  
Total words: 123,669  
Total times "tennis" was mentioned: 302  
Total chairs destroyed: 9  
Total high fives: 5  
Total extended high fives: 1  
Total hugs: 4  
Total dance parties: 3  
Total public service announcements: 2  
Total times someone started crying: 24  
Total times people were slapped: 14  
Total predictions by Renji and Inui: 26  
Total inspirational speeches by Eiji: 4  
Total meals prepared by Choutarou: 17  
Total times Tezuka said "Don't let your guard down.": 4  
Total times Tezuka injured himself: 3  
Total times Fuji's eyes opened: 12  
Total times Taka went Burning!Mode: 1  
Total times Tachibana caused Fudomine to faint: 2  
Total times Shishido said "Lame": 10  
Total times Aoi needed/applied Arrid: 8  
Total times Hiyoshi needed to be "strong": 4  
Total times Jirou said "oh my god!": 4  
Total times Ryoma was referred to as the Prince of Tennis: 3  
Total times Kamio was in the rhythm: 6  
Total times David made a pun: 11  
Total times Team One specualed Fuji killed someone: 7  
Total times Yukimura was hospitalized/passed out: 9  
Total times Sengoku said some form of "Lucky!": 4  
Total times Atobe put his hand in front of his face: 6  
Total times sex occurred behind the scenes: 1


End file.
